As the storm raged on, the PALADIN, determined to confront the perceived demonic weather, was resolute in his mission. He had made a grave error in sparing me before, and this time, he swore to show no mercy. He intended to write a damning report, admitting his mistake and vowing to capture me. His words dripped with determination as he declared, "I'll grab you by the tail this time and put your soul to rest. Wait until I get to your 'zoo' den."
However, his righteous resolve was interrupted by an unexpected, bewildering sight. Amidst the chaos and tempest, a green, amorphous mass approached him, oozing slime and emitting pitiful moans. The spectacle before him left him speechless.
"FATHER PALADIN JEAN AND JESUS," the creature wailed in a chorus of sobs, its words barely comprehensible amid the tears. "I have sinned. I am a naughty dragoness, sobs, please punish me. Sobs, sobs, sobs."
The lights of the nearby orphanage flickered to life, and the elderly residents instructed the children to return to their beds, dismissing the peculiar scene as unimportant.
"Well, well, what have we here?" PALADIN finally managed to speak, still baffled by the situation. "I'm glad I don't have to pick you up by the tail."
Tears continued to flow as the dragoness confessed, "I lost my family." She explained that her wife had banished her, and even her children had rejected her.
"What, you were married with kids?" PALADIN exclaimed, clearly taken aback.
The dragoness continued, her sobs unabated, "I love them, but I was angry because they rejected me and spat on me. So I roared with rage and sadness, and the clouds turned black. And I threatened them to turn them into good dragons like me."
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PALADIN's anger flared. "AND?" he demanded.
"I didn't do anything to them," the dragoness replied, her voice trembling, "and I expelled my rage into the sky because I wasn't able to handle those emotions alone inside me. Please, I beg your forgiveness and ask for your mercy."
PALADIN, though initially eager to confront the dragoness, found himself grappling with unexpected emotions. He admitted, "I was so happy that I could kick your ass this time. But you were right to ask for repentance for your sins."
He then expressed his frustration, "In fact, what makes me most angry with you is that you are a whiner, a coward, and you act more like a child than an adult. You are the epitome of begging eyes, and all I want to do is kick your ass."
With a swift motion, PALADIN delivered a powerful blow, and the dragoness cried out in pain as she crashed into the grass. He seized one of her horns and lifted her head to meet his gaze.
"SILLY, YOU CAN'T IMAGINE HOW GOOD IT FEELS TO KICK YOUR FAT SCALY ASS," he declared. "I WANT TO PUT SOME SENSE INTO YOUR LITTLE BRAIN AND WIPE YOUR STUPID CRYBABY LOSER FACE. ALL THE DRAGONS WOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOU. EVEN I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU."
PALADIN then took a moment to chastise me for the danger I posed to Christianity, suggesting that my actions could lead to ridicule of the Bible.
"NOW, get ready to be punished by GOD!" PALADIN exclaimed. "Arrange to do what you want; I don't care, but I will kick your ass to make you a good Christian. Get ready for hell because you're going to follow MY SPECIAL SPANKING COURSE."
Fear washed over me as I finally comprehended the true meaning of the word. This time, I was genuinely terrified.
PALADIN to the Pope
"Your Excellency, I think the copyists need to prepare their erasers. Our BEAST is so whiny that we can erase her mention in future copies of the Bible... I will train her as a NOBODY and give her some sense so that the Wyrm can be useful to us in our fight later on. I see her as a PROBABLE heroine for future unfortunate trials.
Your dedicated PALADIN
I made a call to the zoo, but my prospects of returning seemed uncertain. Had I been truly spanked by God?