The prude asked, “Okay, where are we?”
Bob said, “Dan ran the Trial of Suffering five times. The last Trait token dropped from the Boss on his last run. We think he’s getting ready to head to the forge and turn it in.”
Now that Xotl knew Bob was a dumb broad, her kissing up to the prude made perfect sense to him, as did all Bob’s gayness. It also now made perfect sense why Az’ga was far more normal than other dumb broads.
He had no idea how he had missed that both Bob and the prude angel were females, but the fact that he had really bothered him.
He wondered if it had something to do with whatever reason Dan kept thinking Xotl was an Asmodite broad. Some sort of internal flaw within Xotl, maybe. It was a real blow to his mighty ego.
The prude said no one could leave until everything was situated and a plan was made, but Xotl wanted to sneak away and quickly smoke some crack or he was certain he would die. He needed it so badly.
Aphariel sighed and said, “Another Trait. What other Trials are in the Boss area?”
Az’ga jumped up and said, “The Trial of Anguish, the Trial of Madness, and the Trial of Exhaustion.”
Aphariel nodded. “Thank you, Bob and Az’ga. I have a feeling we’ll all work fine together.”
“I prefer to be called Tits McGillicuddy,” said Bob.
“Yeah,” chimed in Az’ga. “And my name’s Buck Wild now.”
“Enough of that,” snapped out Aphariel. “We will use official names only. It’s Bob, Az’ga, and Xotl. Please, let’s focus. What was the SS reward for the Trial of Suffering? And isn’t suffering the same as anguish? What’s the difference between the Trials?”
As Xotl slowly began sneaking away, he heard Bob say, “The SS reward is another item token, like the one he used to get his pouch with. And the words anguish and suffer have different origins. Anguish is related to the idea of being pressed or constricted, while suffer comes from the concept of carrying a heavy load. This etymological difference may contribute to their distinct connotations. Where…”
Xotl tuned out whatever nonsense these dumb broads were bleating about. He hoped they kept it up for a while longer. He just needed to reach the corner. Then it was a clear path to the stairwell and finally smoking some crack.
Mystozagan appeared out of nowhere, projecting his image in. Upon seeing the prude, Mystozagan’s jaw dropped, and his eyes widened. He bowed his head briefly and said, “Pontiff, what in the Heaven are you doing here?”
Aphariel looked down her nose at the devil. “You haven’t fought in the war, have you, Chief? My title is Prime, not Pontiff. Mystozagan, I presume?”
“Yes, uh, Prime. And no, I have not joined the war. Yet. I’m unsworn at the moment. I hope this won’t be the case for long. Again, may I ask what you’re doing here? Your side isn’t allowed a presence in this building until a participant lasts a year in the Game.”
Two papers appeared in the prude’s hands. “Leadership was informed of my presence, though I’m unsure through which channels. I have a warrant of cause from Mammon and a letter of debellatio from Prince Eligos. I am to be granted all courtesies, rights, and privileges due to a guest of my rank.”
Mystozagan looked so startled he ignored the offered papers. “Debellatio? Against Dan? You’re helping us?”
“I am. For this, I am.”
“May I ask why?”
“You may not, Chief.”
The prude used the title with some disdain.
Mystozagan finally took the offered papers and read through them. He handed them back and said, “I see. Welcome aboard, Prime. If there’s anything you need, please don’t hesitate to ask.”
“Of course,” replied Aphariel.
“Every day at seven, those of us of note dine in my suite on the top floor. Granted, none of us eat, but that’s when we strategize and plan. You have an open invitation, Prime.”
The prude nodded and said, “Thank you. I won’t be joining you to dine. My boss wants me back to the front as quickly as possible. You and I do need to schedule a meeting. It seems I arrived too late to prevent all the failures I’ve been informed of.”
“Of course, Prime. I’m at your disposal. And you were informed of all these failures by whom?”
It killed Xotl a little to hear a son of Hell use the word whom like a sissy prude.
Xotl fully expected the angel to throw him under the bus. He was surprised when she replied by saying, “That’s none of your business. Do you dispute the facts? Is Dan not still alive?”
Mystozagan bowed his head briefly. His projected image turned to look around. He spotted Xotl and said, “Where are you creeping off to, filth of the lowest layer?”
“Quick smoke break, mighty Mystozagan.”
Mystozagan’s eyes bored into Xotl. “Did you smuggle crack back from Earth?”
“I sure did, Boss. It’s great stuff. I know you were on Earth, mighty Mystozagan, but I don’t know if you heard of the wonders this drug did for the careers of both Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown. It significantly improved both of their lives. Or so the story goes. Not…”
“Silence, filth! Give me all the crack in your possession. Now.”
“What!? Why? It’s mine. You don’t know the things I had to do to get this amount of crack while in prison. Unspeakable stuff. Well, like, half unspeakable, and half not too terrible.”
Mystozagan’s projection ended as a portal opened right near where the projection had been. The devil stepped out and bowed his head towards Aphariel again. Then he looked at Xotl.
And Xotl couldn’t stop it. With a few of his mightiest tentacles, he began ripping his other tentacles off one by one. “Hey, I need these!”
“Stop,” ordered the prude.
Mystozagan turned to the angel, confusion on his face. Aphariel said, “This demon has served me well. I owe him a reward, and I’ll not see him further punished in this way.”
Xotl hoped the prude stopping Mystozagan from having him tear off his own tentacles wasn’t his reward. He needed his tentacles, but not as badly as he needed enough treasure to eventually increase his Soul-grade and ascend to Gold tier. Tentacles grew back. Lost treasure didn’t.
Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.
“Of course, Prime,” replied Mystozagan. “I still must confiscate all his crack. Many of these filthy techs are smoking this drug. As if their poor performance and failures weren’t bad enough without abusing such substances.”
Xotl almost lost his mind. Even high-tier devils were prudes now. This is crazy! There’s nothing in the employee handbook saying we can’t smoke crack at the workplace! And this is my crack! This is bullshit!
Please, save me, prude angel. Don’t let him steal my crack, fervently prayed Xotl.
When Aphariel nodded, Xotl’s heart sank. He got out his bag of rocks and slowly slithered over to Mystozagan. “This is bullshit,” he muttered under his breath as he handed his crack over.
“What did you say, you piece of filth of the lowest layer,” demanded Mystozagan.
“Nothing.”
“That’s what I thought. My original intent for coming here was to congratulate and reward you on your brilliant idea to face Dan against that terrible child in the ring.”
Mystozagan dropped a small but full and high-tier beast core on the ground as he said, “Here.”
Xotl quickly swooped the core up.
“Thank you, mighty Mystozagan,” exclaimed Xotl excitedly. He didn’t know what tier the core was, but judging from its feel, it was at least Gold. His heart beat faster with excitement.
“Why did you not use your Sortilege in the Boss area,” asked the devil.
Xotl looked down embarrassedly. He shuffled his tentacles. He lowered his head as best his mighty globular-shaped body allowed. After too long of a silence, in a low voice, he said, “I didn’t have enough Veil, mighty Mystozagan.”
“What?”
A little louder, Xotl said, “I didn’t have the Veil, mighty Mystozagan.”
Mystozagan put his hand out. “I will not punish you further but give me back the beast core.”
Xotl sighed as he handed the core over.
Mystozagan turned to the angel and bowed his head briefly again, prude honoring prude. Xotl nearly threw up in his mouth. “As I said, I’m at your disposal, Prime. Whenever you’d like to meet, please let me know.”
Aphariel nodded and Mystozagan went back through the portal.
Bob and Az’ga went to comfort Xotl. “It’s okay, man, that guy’s a prick. I can’t believe he took your crack,” said Bob.
“What a shithead,” said Az’ga before turning to Aphariel and saying, “Please don’t tell Mystozagan I said that.”
“My lips are sealed,” answered the prude. “He is a shithead. And a prick.”
Aphariel went over to the portal, touched it, and it disappeared. “I’m sending him a calling and demanding a meeting now. His Teleport Orbment will be on cooldown, so he’ll have to walk down here. This meeting will not be pleasant for him, I promise you all.”
Maybe working with this prude won’t be so bad, thought Xotl. I really need to get more crack somehow though. Good thing I’ve mastered the arts of murder, fornicating, and the lap dance.
----------------------------------------
Xotl couldn’t believe he ever thought working with the prude angel wouldn’t be so bad. It was terrible.
First, she made Xotl, Bob, and Az’ga clean the whole area surrounding the terminal and all the slop on the floor.
Though demons didn’t eat as mortals did, they still secreted waste and some other substances, and the prude was now forcing them to do so only in the bathroom hygienically.
If that wasn’t bad enough, the stupid prude made them all bathe like prude idiots. Even Xotl’s car in prison never forced him to bathe.
And if all that wasn’t bad enough, the prude forced Bob to wear clothing and Az’ga to wear more clothing.
Xotl refused. He put his tentacles down. He meant it when he said he’d rather die than wear clothing like a prude. It was his right to be naked and force all the dumb broads he met to gaze upon his girthy loins.
Down with tyrants! Man, I really wish I could murder this dumb angel broad.
Aphariel wouldn’t even let the three techs get it on. Sure, Xotl had less interest in getting it on with Bob and Az’ga since Bob wasn’t a gay now and Az’ga was still a filthy, disgusting Asmodite.
But less interest wasn’t no interest.
All this horror was the last thing Xotl needed while going through such terrible crack withdrawal.
And the stupid prude kept wanting to plan. She wouldn’t accept that there was nothing to be done besides waiting and hoping now. Everything that could be tried had been tried. Everyone was low on Veil. The vast majority of Sortileges were already spent.
Once Veil and Sortileges reset at the one-year mark, things would be different. But since the prude only had two weeks before she had to return to the war, she just wouldn’t stop with her stupid questions. She wouldn’t accept reality.
Xotl took a deep and calming breath before exiting the bathroom and slithering back to his terminal.
The prude turned to look at him as he approached. “Why don’t you put on that outfit I made for you? You’ll look so nice and professional wearing it.”
A tremendous and blinding anger boiled up within Xotl. “Never! I would rather die than don that prude outfit! I would rather cut off all my genitals before I joined in on this prudery! I will find and murder your whole family if you try to make me. This I swear on my Dark Master and all that is unholy, prude!”
The prude stared at Xotl angrily for a few seconds. “You know the deal. In the corner for 10 minutes. There will be no childish outbursts or name calling.”
“Yes, angel,” murmured Xotl defeatedly as he lowered his eyes to the ground and slithered to the corner. This is such bullshit!
Xotl could do nothing but listen to the others as he faced the corner silently.
“So,” said the angel, “he only turned in the item token and not the Trait token. He selected a void-knife. You’ve all told me that’s the only void weapon within the Game. If he holds it while invoking STORM, he has an area of effect that does void damage.
“Since holy and divine damage aren’t in the Game, void damage is the best way to cause harm to demons and devils. He’s already preparing for the final battles. Agreed?”
Both Bob and Az’ga, in their filthy prude outfits, said, “Agreed, Aphariel,” in unison. Filthy bootlicking prude lovers!
“There’re three Trials left undone,” stated the prude like she knew anything. “What are their SS rewards?”
Bob the ass-kisser fell all over herself to answer. “The Trial of Madness is a Spirit Nexus piece so that won’t help. The Trial of Anguish is a Step-Enhancer usable on any Stat. The Trial of Exhaustion is a Speed Step-Enhancer. And you’re forgetting the Hell’s Gate puzzle Trial.”
“Yes. I had forgotten the Boss area contained a puzzle Trial. Thank you, Bob. What is the reward? The SS reward?”
The ass-kisser fell all over herself again to answer, “An item or an Orbment-Effect Charm. The item is a necklace that gives 20% damage immunity to a specific damage type but increases the damage taken from the opposite damage type by 50%. It’s called…uh, what is again?”
Xotl wanted to shout out the answer, but if he spoke while being punished in the corner, his time would have five minutes added to it. Still, it was almost impossible for him not to shout the answer out. He barely contained himself and held his tongue.
Az’ga answered, “Necklace of the Grand Duke.”
“Yeah,” said Bob. “That’s it. So, if someone picks the ice one, they take 20% less damage from ice, but they take 50% extra damage from fire. And the same right on down the line.”
The prude said, “Hrmm. All damage types are included?”
“Yes,” replied both Bob and Az’ga.
“Even diabolic and demonic? That would give a weakness to holy and divine damage, and those aren’t in the Game, correct?”
“Yes,” replied both Bob and Az’ga in unison again.
“That makes absolutely no sense,” said the angel.
Bob said, “Demonic and diabolic damage aren’t in the Game either.”
Xotl was going to yell out how wrong he…she was, but Az’ga beat him to it. “Not true. Once the champion is summoned, those demons and devils can and do have those damage types.”
The angel hrmmed again. “I see. I hope he takes the Orbment-Effect Charm and applies it to SIXTH SENSE. I really want to see how it would change. What is Dan currently doing? Is he…it looks like he’s sewing.”
“Yes,” hurriedly said Bob. “He’s sewing the void-knife to his belt. I think this is so he can just reach down and touch it before invoking STORM.”
“And we’re sure he didn’t turn in the Trait token?”
“Yes,” answered both Bob and Az’ga at the same time.
“I recognize Chet. He looks a lot different than the image I was provided with. He looks much doughtier. Who’re those other two mortals Dan’s conversing with?”
There was a moment’s pause before Az’ga said, “That’s, uh, I forget their names. The guy speaks a bunch of languages, including the ones spoken by Valentin Klyugin and Jun Huang. The other lady’s another translator.”
“What are they talking about?”
The volume was turned up and Xotl listened in. Dan was explaining the mechanics of the Boss area Trials. He said the last puzzle Trial had two codes, but both were already turned in.
That confused Xotl for a moment until he remembered that unknown code Dan turned in for an extra Trait at the forge.
Xotl took a risk by turning around and looking at the terminal. Both translators were taking notes. Dan’s mentals were still going wild, so Xotl felt super good about that.
He let the pleasant memory of forcing Dan to kill that little punk-ass bitch Bonnie warm his insides as he waited for the rest of his time left in the corner to expire.