So, after Dan finished leveling up at the forge and adjusting to his new Stats and power level, the fat prick immediately ran to the entrance to the Boss area.
I think he was trying to throw us off. Making it so we didn’t have time to react or plan.
Maybe if it hadn’t taken four and a half days to finish ascending, he could’ve really caught us with our pants down.
But it did take him that long. And I know I don’t wear pants like some prude. That’s just a figure of speech.
He probably assumed there was no way Hector was anywhere close to his new tier, and he’d easily tear him apart.
Maybe, but he wasn’t facing off against Hector.
We knew forcing Dan to kill Nick would really get to him, maybe drive him over the edge.
Yeah, I loved the idea of forcing Dan to kill his brother. It’s an amazing idea. All the anguish it’d cause him would be just delightful.
But he wasn’t facing his brother either.
Anyway, I’m still hoping those two put their mouth orifices together and make out at some point.
No. This was my idea. My brilliant idea.
The rules say two mortals from within the Game must face each other to gain access to the Boss area.
Dan hit the exit and was transported to a combat arena. We call it the ring.
Guess who was in the ring with him?
[No.]
Jeez. Come on. This is a super fun one.
[No.]
Great Kobal, you’re no fun at all, Boss. It was the child. He was in the ring with that little punk-ass bitch Bonnie.
She wasn’t a participant, but she was a mortal and from within the Game.
Did this go against the intent and spirit of the rules? Sure, but not the rules as written. May our Dark Master bless all lawyers.
If Dan felt so responsible for killing his own daughter when that stupid bitch actually killed herself like an incompetent idiot, and that had messed him up so much, I could only imagine what killing a different little girl on purpose would do to him.
Would he even be able to do it? And if he could, this had to be much worse than killing his brother. This had to be the final straw that broke the camel’s back.
No more tethering on the abyss. I wanted to shove this fat prick right into it.
And let’s say he couldn’t go through with it – they’d both die then.
Sure, Bonnie was a level 1,000 Karen, but I highly doubted she stood a chance fighting Dan. Not at all. Karens excel at being dramatic, whining, and crying, not fighting.
This! This was my master stroke!
Mystozagan loved the idea.
And I guess it saved me from having Gabrodyl execute me too, so that’s a nice and unexpected bonus.
Do you now understand the full brilliance of Acesso LaBlacky? Are you prepared to give me a standing slow clap with watery eyes yet? If not, you soon will be.
[You truly are a detestable creature.]
Now, now, Boss. Flattery will get you everywhere.
Dan looked horrified when he finally realized that what his eyes were seeing was real.
He was not prepared for this. Not at all.
Cute little Bonnie in her filthy and tattered outfit, one of the few outfits she had worn every day of the Game. Some dumb dress type of thing, but the skirt part was really shorts. More Karen trickery.
Her big eyes got bigger as she looked confusedly at Dan. She walked up to him, her hands held out in a way indicating she wanted to be picked up.
Dan’s eyes first became watery. His mentals went wild. Then a crazed look entered his eyes. He ignored the little girl whining to be picked up. He stood there and seethed.
After some time, Bonnie began to tug at his hide armor. “Unc Dan. Unc Dan. Pick me up. Unc Dan. Where’s mommy? Where’s my mommy? Pick me up.”
This broad was too dumb to pronounce uncle correctly. I don’t know why, but Becky had the child call almost everyone aunty or uncle. If only her punk-ass daughter wasn’t so incompetent and could say such a simple word.
This was it! Either my archnemesis or my biggest problem would die. If I got very lucky, I’d be killing two birds with one stone. I hoped for that while assuming I would have no such luck.
There was no way out of this for Dan. There were only three possible results. He would die, my archnemesis would die, or, if the timer hit zero, they’d both die.
But, on the bright side, the Boss area would be accessible to other participants regardless of who died.
I knew Dan realized all of this, and he was furious about it.
All the participants were forced to watch this match. They were given the same view of the show as us techs – a side view of the full ring, except we’re able to look away from the screen.
Participants are frozen and can’t look away. Everything in the Game is frozen during this arena match. Everything but the two combatants.
Dan stood there ignoring Bonnie, seething, getting angrier and angrier. For minutes.
Until he finally lost it. He turned around violently, sending Bonnie flying backwards to slide across the ground into the side of the ring. She activated full Karen-mode and all the screaming and waterworks that go along with it.
Dan let loose a barrage of everything he could. It was all directed at the barrier surrounding the ring. He was going wild, just invoking and bashing and slamming into that barrier like a madman.
To no effect. Even at tier 15, he had no chance of damaging the ring at all, never mind escaping from it.
Or escaping the three possible outcomes.
All his leveling and his hotshot tier meant nothing.
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Personally, I think he wanted to lose it. He wanted to give himself over to the rage, and if Bonnie ‘accidently’ died, well, then he didn’t really kill her, right?
Just an unfortunate accident that just so happened to also work out perfectly for him.
Except Bonnie didn’t get ‘accidently’ killed. She sat there bawling her eyes out and screaming her head off as Dan raged.
Half the time expired before Dan finally calmed down. Two-thirds of it had expired by the time he calmed Bonnie down enough to get her to stop crying.
He held the child in his arms and asked her, “Did Uncle Dan ever tell you he had a daughter?”
“No,” said Bonnie.
“He did. She was very special. As special as you are. Cute as a button, just like you. He loved her more than anything.”
“Where is she? Can I play with her?”
Dan winced as Bonnie asked that question. He ignored it and asked, “Know who Uncle Dan can’t stand? The people he ha…dislikes the most? The same as he dislikes traitors?”
Bonnie asked, “What’s that?”
I know the question didn’t make much sense as a reply to Dan’s question, but Bonnie was even stupider than Luke had been.
Dan either ignored her question again, or didn’t understand what she was asking.
He said, “Who I dislike the most is politicians and other folk that don’t see people as people. The ones that blow up innocent people and call it collateral damage instead of murder. We all just numbers to those monsters. Them folks is every bit as bad as traitors and demons.”
For some reason Bonnie giggled and then asked, “What?”
Dan squeezed the child to him before adjusting how he held her. He looked at her for a moment. She put both her hands on his face and giggled again. “I want to play with your daughter.”
Dan started sobbing. He held the child to him and sobbed. Bonnie kept asking what was wrong and if he was okay, but very incompetently.
Dan finally got control of himself. He relaxed his hold on the child and looked down at her. “You ain’t a number to me. You’re a very special girl. Your mommy loves you very much.”
Bonnie smiled and said, “I know. I love mommy.”
“If I thought anyone else could finish this, I’d go right now. There ain’t. There just ain’t. It’s you or eight billion other people. Oh, God, I hope I’m right. I can’t fail. I can’t. I just can’t now. I’m so, so sorry. I wish…I wish…”
Dan lost it again. He was racked with sobs. When he could, as the timer ticked down, he composed himself. He kissed the now crying child on the forehead. “I hope you get to play with my daughter.”
Then he…
[The words aren’t necessary. Just…just tell me what happened after.]
Dan was returned to the Crucible just outside the entrance to the Boss area. He stood there in the exact same pose he held in the ring. Except he was no longer holding a child in his arms.
His eyes were closed. He just stood there. For a long while, lost in La La Land. I was going to appear and really twist the knife in, but my Veil was far too low to risk it.
Finally, Dan yelled out, “No one enters the sixth area until I do,” and started walking south. He ignored the crowd that had gathered around him.
When participants called out or tried talking to him, he just put his head down and walked faster.
Dan walked the whole way back to the Castle area, ignoring everyone and everything.
A big group was outside the castle. Becky was on the ground bawling like a psycho. Nick, Leena, and Dotty were trying to comfort her as Chet looked on with watery eyes.
Once Nick saw Dan, he attacked. Not with invocations. With his fists. Dan just stood there and took it.
The crowd got larger. Dan’s anxiety was spiking hard along with all his other mentals.
Becky finally noticed Dan was there. Nick stepped aside as she attacked.
She attacked ineffectually for the most part. She got some good claws in, but it didn’t do much to Dan, and he stood there and took it all, a great sadness in his eyes.
Or possibly lust or murderous intent. I’m not certain. It’s hard for me to tell those emotions apart. Any strong emotions really.
Becky attacked Dan over and over as she screamed in rage or lust. Finally, she began crying loudly again. She held on to Dan as she did so.
Dan just stood there, his arms down by his side. After some time, Leena and Dotty grabbed Becky and pulled her into the castle.
“What the hell happened to you, Danny,” asked Nick. “I used to look up to you. My whole life I looked up to you. You’re nothing but a fucking animal. A dirty fucking animal. You ain’t my brother no more. What if that was Amanda?”
Dan finally looked up. He looked at his brother and said, “It was her or eight billion other people. How many other kids would that be?”
“Oh, shut the fuck up! Are you God now? Only you can win the Game? Like ain’t all of us trying? Look around, Danny. We all here. We all working our asses off. Ain’t not one of us would’ve done what you just done. I’m just glad Maw wasn’t here to see it. Seeing that would’ve killed her dead. Paw too. And Amanda. You make me sick.”
Dan said nothing. He stood there with glassy eyes.
Nick, his voice dripping with venom, said, “I’m starting to believe Marisol had it right the whole time.”
Dan winced but said nothing. After a minute passed, Nick asked, “You just going to stand there? Got nothing to say?”
“There ain’t nothing I can say,” replied Dan.
“Then get the fuck out of here, you fucking animal. If it comes down to winning or killing my friend’s kid, then there ain’t no winning. Just losing. You ain’t my brother, and I ain’t never want to see you again. You hear me?”
“I do.”
After some time passed and Dan hadn’t moved, Nick said, “Well, what you waiting for? Go on. Get going.”
“Can you tell her…”
Whatever Dan was going to say, he never finished. Nick waited patiently for the rest, but when it never came, he yelled out, “Get the fuck gone, you piece of shit!”
And Dan left.
Oh, boy, did we have a great new ghost to use on that fat prick. I really took him down a couple of pegs, didn’t I? I’m a damned genius.
Winning!
Are you standing? Are you slowly clapping?
[I am not.]
Should I wait? Are you going to?
[I will not.]
Well, suit yourself, brother. Telling that part of the story really got Acesso LaBlacky’s juices flowing. I’ll take fornicating over a slow clap anyway. You up for it?
[You can’t be serious?]
Can’t blame a demon for trying, right? You must agree that I’m owed some sort of recognition here.
Since you’re so greedy with your holes, would you mind if I took a few seconds to party a little? I managed to smuggle a lot of crack back to Hell.
Don’t worry, I’ll let you partake. I have my pipe and plenty enough crack for the both of us right here with me.
This drug did wonders for the careers of both Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown, and it significantly improved both of their lives.
Or so the story goes. Not a very popular version of the story, but there’s a small but burgeoning community that is brave enough to finally speak the truth.
Just wait until you hear how great I sing after I smoke some of this crack. Bob and Az’ga say it destroys my ability to sing on pitch and is no help with my vocal register, but they’re both stupid and clearly not listening correctly.
[Does this substance modify your mental acuity at all?]
Oh, yeah it does. Significantly. For a solid eight or nine seconds, it makes me feel like a whole different demon, and for many, many hours after I will be very chattery and easily distracted as I think of ways to get more crack to feed my addiction.
But instead of fornicating and murdering others out of a great desire to do so, I instead am willing to fornicate and murder just to get more crack.
And I sing a lot. You’ll love it. Trust me. It truly is wonderful.
Wait. I'm not gonna lie to you. There's nothing good about this at all. Now, let’s party! Whoo-hoo!
[Stop. Do not smoke this substance. You’re plenty foolish without it.]
What? But there’s nothing in the employee handbook saying I can’t smoke crack at the workplace. It’s allowed.
[As you’ve mentioned a few times, you need to catch me up before you can get back to solving the Dan issue. I need you at full mental capacity.]
Fine. But just so you know, I was planning on giving you a lap dance after we smoked crack together. If you’ve never received one from such a globular-shaped demon, you have no idea what you’re missing out on. I…
[No smoking crack! No lap dances! Just continue.]
Jeez. Alright. I will.
After just one more comment. R. Kelly didn’t smoke crack, and as a result, he peed on lots of children. So now I’m assuming you want us both to pee on children.
I can’t help but find that strange. Sure, most likely, I’ll enjoy peeing on kids as much as the next demon, but not nearly as much as I enjoy smoking crack.
Did you want me to go collect some demon get from a brood for us to pee on now?
[There will be no peeing on anyone or anything. Just…just, please, continue. What did Dan do after his confrontation with Nick?]
He went back up to the Crucible. There were about a dozen participants hanging around the exit to the Boss area. Valentin and Jun Huang were there too. Those two and many others tried comforting Dan, but he just waved that away and talked over everyone.
Dan told them, “Don’t none of y’all follow me in. I got to go regulate on my own. I reckon there’s a bunch of traitors waiting on the other side, and their techs will all be hitting their Sortileges.
“If I’m not back by tomorrow, don’t just go in. Wait for the Sortileges to expire. Plan it out. Go in with everyone that can handle it. And prepare for all y’all’s techs to hit their Sortilege too.”
It’s not so easy for participants to communicate with one another in these later areas, so there was a lot of translating going on.
Dan’s mentals were still off the charts, including his anxiety. He ignored all the talking, summoned Ashen Ruin, activated Molten Form, and entered the Boss area.
Can I take one tiny puff of crack before I explain this fight? Please?
[No.]
Only a tiny puff. I need it so badly. I’ll let you pee on me. No act is too degrading for me to endure. Anything your heart desires. Just allow me one quick hit.
[Enough! If you ask again, you shall feel pain the likes of which you’ve never imagined. Now continue.]