Dan didn’t leave the tutorial area right away. At the exit, he used the Orbment-Effect Charm on SUMMON INFERNAL. I’m always interested in seeing what those’ll do.
Guess…never mind. It changed it to SUMMON ASHEN RUIN.
Ashen Ruin is the name of an Infernal Lord of the sixth layer. It didn’t actually summon Ashen Ruin, of course, but it looked like the summons became about equivalent to a Crown Orbment summons. Here’s how it read at the time.
SUMMON ASHEN RUIN* [First Rank] (Power Orbment, Legendary, unique-equipped, upgraded*, active): Casting this invocation summons an avatar of the Infernal Lord Ashen Ruin one tier above your own (minimum level 25) that lasts until its destruction or dismissal. Avatar of Ashen Ruin has the Hellfire mana-type. The Infernal can mitigate and absorb a lot of damage and it deals good damage to enemies with its Incinerate and Searing Armor invocations and physical attacks. Higher ranks increase size, durability, damage of attacks, and range of Incinerate by 20%. Extremely high mana cost, 20s cast time, no cooldown.
Pretty good, huh?
[It is.]
He summoned it. It looked awesome. I wish I was better at describing things. I can’t do it justice, so you’ll just have to take my word for how awesome it looked.
.
.
.
Right there is where you were supposed to say, “Ace Blacky, that’s not true at all. You depict things wonderfully. Please describe Ashen Ruin to me.”
Okay. You twisted my tentacle, Boss. I’ll give it the old college try.
It was large. It looked like a ton of black boulders with some shiny metal fragments in them were somehow magically held together in a semi-humanish shape. Its head had glowing red eyes that had smoke coming out of them. It never opened its mouth, but smoke was coming out of that too. And its hands. It had smoking hands.
How was that, Boss?
[Fine. Continue.]
By the giant balls of the great Lord of the Flies, Beelzebub himself, that was just plain rude, Boss.
Anyway, I was honestly expecting Dan to ascend to Iron tier since his core was so overly full and he’d be able to increase all his Orbments to Second Rank, but…
[He’d also have another Orbment activate at Iron.]
Correct, Boss. And if he was level 21, Ashen Ruin would be summoned at level 41 too. He didn’t ascend though.
After he summoned a still level 25 Ashen Ruin, he ran all the way up to the Court area again. I should say he jogged. He wasn’t really running.
I should also mention that back in the Boneyard, he saw someone that had stolen from him earlier. I think he let the girl go because he was naked and so out of breath.
In the Court area, two new boneguards spawned. He took one and Ashen Ruin took the other. That summons was a beast. It did take some rime damage though.
Then Dan hit the Court of Asmodon the Lesser, Page to Duke Agares, the Court area’s puzzle Trial. This one works a little differently than the Crucible of Agares. It’s filled with fake demons and devils. They’re supposed to be Asmodon’s lackeys. They have limited scripting, and clues must be cajoled out of them in a specific way, usually in a set order.
The first room requires participants to gain entrance into the castle’s court with bonus points for being announced as nobles. Dan knew all the answers and tricks already, even how to get into the treasury. There’s only a hundred Epic Orbment Fragments in the treasury, so nothing special. He…
[A hundred Epic frags is still a fortune. That’s 800 trash fragments.]
You’re right, it is a fortune, especially for real life. He blew through the Trial, searching every nook and cranny for clues. He found nothing. He still achieved an SS-rating though.
The reward for SS is either the Belt of Many Pockets, Soul's Lament shield, or an Orbment-Effect Charm.
The belt is the Game’s only spatial storage device, but it taxes everything going into it. About 5% of its worth in fragments. Doesn’t sound like much but it adds up to a pretty steep cost.
The shield is indestructible and has a reflect-type invocation but causes severe depression to anyone holding it.
I figured Dan would select the Orbment-Effect Charm again and use it on STORM or SIXTH SENSE.
[His SIXTH SENSE Orbment wasn’t activated for him, just the effect of it from his Slot Bonus. But that certainly would be interesting. I hope he took the charm and applied it to that Orbment to see what it changed to. But it would be risky. It could end up no longer stacking with that Slot Bonus.]
Yeah, Seismic Sense. Sorry, he took the belt. I guess the 5% tax isn’t a huge deal to a rich guy like Lord Fatso. Lord Fatso is Dan, in case that wasn’t clear.
[It was.]
Glad to hear it, Boss. For whatever reason, Dan put the belt on but didn’t empty the contents of his backpack into it. And the backpack was getting pretty full.
Then he did the Trial again. The second time through resulted in another dud. On the third time, he found a false clue. He stopped looking after that and blew through the Trial, just getting some XP for finishing it again.
Since you hate guessing with a passionate fervor, you probably don’t know why he was doing this. It’ll be clear a little later.
He ran all the way up to the Crucible area to loot everything, including the beast core from the byca, and an Epic Orbment that dropped from the abbadon.
Then he ran all the way down to the Castle area, made short work of the ghasts, and hit the puzzle Trial there named Asmodon’s Castle.
The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.
This one’s more like the Crucible puzzle Trial, but easier and less deadly. Participants try to find the castle hidden somewhere in the dark forest. Even though it’s a forest, it operates the same as rooms do. Besides the last part which is a big hedge maze.
On his second run through, the first room had a false clue. Dan stopped searching after finding that false clue and blew through the rest of the Trial. SS-rating, of course.
The reward for this one was either Asmodon’s Gauntlets, Boots of the Order of the Fly, or an Orbment-Effect Charm.
Asmodon’s Gauntlets increase the wearer’s Strength Stat by two full grades but make it so natural Strength grade increases don’t happen. And not just when the gauntlets are worn. For a couple days after taking them off too.
The Boots of the Order of the Fly allow the wearer to hover about a tenth to a third of a meter off the ground. Powerful. That’s a great benefit to have in the Game, especially since it doesn’t cost mana. But the boots have a similar type of debuff as the gauntlets, except it affects both the wearer’s Agility and Speed Stats.
Dan took the Orbment-Effect Charm and…
[Please tell me he applied it to SIXTH SENSE.]
Sorry, Boss, STORM got it. It almost halved its First Rank cooldown, making it far more potent. I’ll show you.
STORM* [First Rank] (Physical Orbment, Legendary, unique-equipped, upgraded*, active): You must be holding a weapon to cast this invocation and casting it causes very heavy weapon-damage to all enemies in a 6.69-meter 60-degree cone in front of you. Higher ranks increase damage and mana cost by 10%, extend range of cone by 5%, and lower the cooldown by 5s. Medium mana cost, instant cast, 57s cooldown.
That cooldown was a minute and 27 seconds before. At Tenth Rank, the Orbment has a cooldown of 42 seconds. Now, at Tenth Rank, it would have a cooldown of 12 seconds. Granted, the best Dan could hope for was Sixth Rank with his current Class, so a cooldown of 32 seconds instead of 62 seconds.
[It wasn’t halved. The First Rank cooldown was decreased by 35%.]
I’m not so pedantic about numbers. I said it was almost halved anyway. My sincerest apologies, Boss.
Guess what he…never mind. He did something crazy next. A real doozy. This cinched the secret knowledge attained from Carnegie Hall theory for Bob and Az’ga.
Dan ran to and entered the castle, went to the third floor, climbed out a window, and started turning all the grotesques to face different directions. All the chimeras, gargoyles, and bosses were fiddled with and moved around.
Is Dan a crazy? Sure. Certainly. But by this time, it was hit or miss if any crazy thing he did was because he was a crazy or because he knew something I didn’t.
In this case, he knew something no one did. He spent about an hour fiddling with all the grotesques. Once he was done, a dais rose up out of the roof of the castle. On the dais was a chest, and in the chest was a book called ‘The Secrets of Self-Cultivation.’
We were pissed when he put it in his backpack without opening it. We wanted to see what it said so badly. So very badly. No luck though.
[I’m curious to know its contents as well.]
Oh, you’re telling me, Boss. Our curiosity was killing us.
Dan ran down to the Boneyard and killed…know what? I’m going to skip when he killed spawns on entering an area unless something notable happened.
South of the Sanctuary of Revelations, east of the exit to the Tutorial, is the Mausoleum of Bak'ung. This is like a semi-introduction to the puzzle Trials, but it has a boss fight.
Unless the last survivor of every world’s first Game all happened to be named Bak’ung, and every champion of every first Game is named Gorgos, Steward of Prince Zagan, then this Trial lies like a rug.
All the Games I worked on have always had a different sponsor and champion, so I assume the first Games are no different.
The Trial itself claims it reenacts the true events of Earth’s first Game. That’s a big fat lie unless you don’t believe in science and statistical impossibilities.
.
.
.
I guess you’re not going to correct me, Boss. I thought you’d be pedantic again and say, “Actually, it’s a statistical improbability, not impossibility.”
[You thought wrong. Continue.]
Unholy Moloch, this room is freezing! Are you freezing too? Any chance I could warm my nubs inside a few orifices you’re not using at the moment? You’ll barely even know they’re in you. Unless you want to. I could use a break. I say we get this party started right.
[Absolutely not. Continue.]
Jeez. Okay. Why is it so cold? Is…am I seeing this right? Look out the window. That doesn’t look like Hell. Not my layer, at least. Are those…those are stars, aren’t they?
[They are. Since there’s a true competitor, all the rules will be adhered to. No excuse for grievance will be given to Heaven’s forces. This building has been moved to the mortal plane. Neutral territory, as it should’ve been before the Game initiated.]
Why? We always stay in Hell. The other side has no staff in our building. Look at my tentacles. They’re all just little teeny frozen nubs. It’s so freezing. I could die at any moment.
[Do you want to lose this Game over a silly rule being broken? You’ll be fine.]
I don’t think so. I’m probably definitely going to freeze to death.
If I do die, please tell my mother that I’m proud she’s such a whore. Scratch that. I murdered her a long time ago. It’s one of my favorite memories. I don’t know how it slipped my mind. Probably a side effect of freezing to death.
Tell…tell Bob I really enjoyed our time together. Like, super enjoyed it. Tell him, ‘10/10, would recommend.’ He’ll know what I mean.
And tell Az’ga she’s pretty smart for a dumb Asmodite broad. And that I appreciated her allowing me access to those holes even while she was working. That was really cool of her. She’s almost as normal as a guy.
And tell her I forgive her for the time she snapped at me. I assume she was on her period.
And tell Zixy…tell her I’ll always hate her guts, and even in death I’ll somehow find a way to murder her. And…and tell her I will find out the function of those five curious holes. I won’t rest until I do.
[Sure. I’ll tell them. Now, seriously, continue.]
I’ll do my best to fight through the freezing pain. Please remember this when you are deciding the many rich rewards you’ll bestow upon me on top of the upgraded status.
Dan was heading to the Mausoleum of Bak'ung. It was late into the night cycle, but a few participants were still running around the Boneyard. Dan did his best to sneak around and avoid them. I’m not sure if it was due to his anxiety issues or being naked.
Now that I think about it, I think he was trying to keep his extremely tiny chest-groin a secret.
Real demons go naked 100% of the time, such as I do. You wouldn’t catch me dead wearing clothes like some sort of sissy prude. I let it all dangle all the time, even though my doctor told me that at my age I’d greatly benefit from a groin support wrap.
I’d rather die.
And the doctors on our layer often lie to us as a prank anyway, so I’m not sure if that was even real advice. Don’t get me wrong – I think those pranks are hilarious, especially when they’re fatal, but it would be nice if there was some sort of health professional here that we could trust.
Anyway, a hundred meters or so from the Trial, someone called out to Dan. He sprinted for all he was worth and dove in the Mausoleum of Bak'ung like an army was chasing him.
This Trial has a huge antechamber with a bunch of murals and tapestries supposedly of scenes from the first Game. These always change slightly. The mortals in the scenes always look like current participants. It’s often hard to tell them apart since they all look like half melted candles, but there’s usually some noticeable differences between participants of different worlds.
[The mortals of all worlds look similar. God made them in His image.]
Oh, I get it then. If I looked really stupid and was powerful enough to create worlds and shit, I’d fill them with mortals that looked as stupid as I did too, so I wouldn’t feel so bad about how stupid I looked. Misery loves company and all that.
[Worlds don’t start off filled with mortals. It takes a very long time for life to evolve, and then for mortals to evolve. And since they evolve, there are always some noticeable differences. God created angels to interact with mortals. Since they were created and didn’t evolve from lower life, they look as idealized and perfect versions of mortals.]
Hmm. Interesting. I’ve always thought it was kind of crazy that archangels are in the second lowest Choir but make up that side’s high pantheon. Assuming the third Choir and higher Orders are more powerful, I wonder why they don’t get involved in the war and just mop the floor with us.
[Don’t forget, God made everything, including Hell, demons, and devils. Higher Orders and those of the third Choir, principalities, aren’t directly involved in the war. If they were, there wouldn’t be war.]
I know. That’s what I was getting at, Boss. Just seems strange to me is all I’m saying.
Now, back to fat Dan and the Mausoleum of Bak'ung.