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CH17: Can I Be Happy?

CHAPTER 17

*Beep* *Beep*

I open my eyes in a daze, awakened by the noise of my alarm clock. I only got a few hours of sleep in last night, but it should be enough to get me through the day.

I had that dream again…

Every night for a long time it was always the same. I am wandering around in an empty house, looking around and going through the corridors. After walking aimlessly, I see a little girl with long black hair in a white lily dress. The girl never turns back to face me, only walking and facing forward the entire time. I chase her, running, trying to catch up to her every way I can, but I cannot. Along with the girl, I see a little boy who is always standing behind me, never moving. No matter how fast I walk or run, the boy is always behind me, standing at attention the entire time.

The boy looks as if he is trying to tell me something, possibly to warn me about the girl in the white dress, but he cannot come close to me. The dreams have been getting more and more vivid, as now I can see that the little girl has a red ribbon tied in her hair. I do not know why, but the little boy has a certain sentimental feeling, as if I have met him somewhere. Like maybe he was someone important to me during my childhood or something. I rub my eyes some more before I decide it is time to get ready for school.

Lately, life has been different though. Before, it was a struggle to find motivation to get up in the morning, but now there was an odd feeling that I could not quite put my finger on that was making me want to do things. My routine in the morning started with me looking into the mirror of my bathroom and brushing my teeth. I see the reflection of myself, with my long black hair all messy from bed.

 Pull yourself together Akane.

 I take off my black cat pajamas I got as a gift from manager-san and step into the shower to finish my routine.

 This feels good…

 After a quick cold shower, I change into my high school uniform.

 *Rumble* *Rumble*

 “Ahem…”

 That was the noise of my stomach growling. At least one of the perks of living alone in an apartment is that no one could have heard that. I crack open some eggs and decide to make a light breakfast with some leftover toast one of the neighbors was kind enough to let me have. Ever since I was little, I remember my father reprimanding me on my insatiable appetite. When I was living with him, one of the few fond memories I had of my childhood was when he took me to an all-you-can-eat buffet on my birthday. It was the one time of the year he allowed me to indulge myself. Fortunately, manager-san is kind enough to feed his employees (though I feel guilty for pushing his generosity). I finish my breakfast and start to head out for school.

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 I am in Class 2-B now, sitting at my seat, reading my book. It was an old one, but a good read nevertheless. All I can remember was that my mother read this when she was still alive, and forbade me and my deceased older brother from reading it since it was “for adults”. It was old, tattered, and the black coloring on the cover made it almost impossible to see the title. It was a copy of The Blaque Lizard, a mystery novel by Rampa Edogawa. I was still reading through it, and it was part of a story centered around a detective named Akechi Kagoro. In this particular case, he had to stop a female master criminal from kidnapping the daughter of a wealthy jewelry merchant. What made it interesting so far was that the femme fatale was committing crimes for the thrill, rather than the monetary value of the object. I have a feeling on how the ending is going to turn out, but I should still finish it anyways. I try to read it in my free time, when I am not tutoring Kaneko-san and Kaneshiro-san, who sits behind me.

 I am not sure what to say…

 I have been recently assigned by Dr. Mori to help tutor Kaneshiro-san, who was already tutoring Mary Kaneko, who considered me to be “her rival.” Ever since the incident with the thugs and Valentines’ Day, Kaneshiro-san and I have not had an opportunity to sort things out together. Of course, I was very flattered when he confessed to me earlier this semester, and even made him chocolates on Valentines’ Day, but I was not sure of the appropriate course of action. It was the first time I was feeling anything close to what I was feeling now. I felt this strange sense of calm anxiety, when my heart and breathing would start becoming erratic whenever I was around Kaneshiro-san.

My life has changed for the better, since I have managed to become closer to people for the first time in my life. I have been talking to Kaneko-san (who has been pressing me to call her Mary), who I have become fond of, despite her often unintentional impulsiveness. Ever since I have given my number to her, she has been messaging me all night, talking about the most random and pointless things, like small things about Kaneshiro-san that annoy her. Despite how vexing it may be, I have grown accustomed to our little talks, which I have seen from movies and television shows is known as “girl talk.”

I do not want to ruin this…

“Alright class! Let’s start practicing manners and such for our café coming up. We all want the best service don’t we?” said Takemi-san, the class president.

 I take a look at the page number to remember what page to read for next time. I close my book, and put it back into my school bag.

 Page 22, I should remember that.

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The school festival was only a few days away, and our class was definitely not as ready as the other classes. Our class begins to move the desks towards the edge of the room, leaving only four at the center of the room, to form a small table. All the service staff changed into our uniforms, which I picked out and gave to Takemi-san. I am standing next to Kaneshiro-san, whose hair is even messier today than usual. It is a strange dichotomy, since he looks so formal with his butler outfit, but could not fix his hair. I go back to my bag and reach for a comb, and fix it accordingly. It was bothering me.

“W-What are you doing Yuki-san?!?” he says, his face flustered.

I straighten out his hair and comb it to the side, making him suddenly look like someone manager-san would hire in an instant.

“There. You look better Kaneshiro-san.” I say.

I cannot help but give a small smile at what a mother-like gesture I did to him. He looks at me and blushes accordingly, rubbing the back of his head with his hand. We look at the center of the room to see Takemi-san, who brings a coffee pot and begins to enact a scenario with Renge-san, the president of the literature club and also directing the play.

“W-What would you like today master?” asked an embarrassed Takemi-san.

Hmm…the way she says master sounds awfully familiar…

“Coffee please! Extra sweet of course!” replied Renge-san.

“R-Right master!”

Takemi-san heads over to the side with our makeshift drinks station, and pours out now-cold coffee into a small cup with a saucer. She mixes in some cream, and puts what looked like several heaps of sugar into it. Finished with her order, she begins to bring it over to Renge-san, who was sitting patiently, observing Takemi-san the whole time.

“H-Here you go mast- woahhhhhhhh!”

The whole class goes in what feels like slow motion when Takemi-san trips on her own heels and falls forward, with the coffee spilling all over Renge-san. There was nothing we could do except watch it happen before our very eyes.

“NGHRRRRRR! CLASS PRESIDENT!!!” screams a coffee soaked Renge-san.

“Uwawawawa…” muttered an apologetic Takemi-san.

Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

She springs up from the ground to grab some towels and napkins from the side. Kaneshiro-san rushes over to Renge-san, and hands her his handkerchief, which she uses to wipe her sugar and crème coated face.

“Are you okay Renge and class president?” he asks.

It is just like Kaneshiro-san, coming in to rescue someone in need somehow.

“Yuck! It tastes like bathwater…” said an embittered Renge-san.

I better show them how to do it correctly…

I walk over to the drink station and take the coffee pot, along with a new empty cup and saucer.

“Takemi-san, you want to pour it like so, so that you will not risk an accident happening.”

I can tell the whole class had all eyes on me as I slowly poured coffee into the cup from an angle. Manger-san taught me that it was better to pour it in front of the patron, and always make sure the cup was on the table. That way, you are up close and personal with the guest, which leads to a better and more “intimate” experience.

I still do not understand what manager-san meant by intimate but…

With a spoon, I swirled in some cream and sugar cubes, since that was how Renge-san liked her coffee.

“One coffee for you master…” as I pushed the fresh cup of coffee towards a now dried Renge-san.

She reluctantly brings the cup up to her face and carefully smells the coffee first. Finally, after accepting the coffee was safe, she takes a small sip… and another… and another. She finishes the rest of it in one heaping gulp.

“Ahhhh! Now that was delicious! What did you do Yuki-san?” asked Renge.

“Woah! I didn't know Yuki-san was a natural at this!”

“Who knew the Ice-Witch could be so cute…?”

“I wanna try her coffee!”

Everybody in the café was suddenly in an uproar. They were surprised at my abilities as a maid. My chest starts to tighten at my newfound attention from everyone. I suddenly feel a hand on my shoulder from behind, only to see it was Kaneshiro-san.

“You’re amazing Yuki-san!” he smiled.

W-Well. You already knew first hand Kaneshiro-san!

“Hey!” Renge-san’s outburst silenced the whole room.

“Why don’t you show us how it’s done Yuki-san? It seems you’re really good at this!”

Hmm…

I wanted to jump in the air and say yes immediately. But there was something inside of me that made me reluctant at the new responsibility. There was a little voice of doubt that made me unsure; I was afraid. I glance to my side to see Kaneshiro-san, standing tall in his butler suit and his slicked back hair. Seeing him makes me feel like I was at ease, that I was able to do anything. The class was still awaiting my answer.

I can do it.

“It will take a lot of work, but we can do it.” I reluctnantly say.

The class’ morale increased. We were ready to become the best maid café the whole school’s ever seen. With my classmates eager to learn what to do, anything was possible.

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 It was after school now. After a few hours of preparing the maid café and tutoring with Mary and Kaneshiro-san, I was walking towards the other side of town with Akatsuka-san. I had to leave early due to my work commitments at the Purffect café, but Akatsuka-san did not disclose his reasons for leaving early. I was not sure where he was going this direction.

“So…Yuki-san, how’s uh…working at the maid café?” he asked.

Akatsuka-san and I have never really talked before. Even though he would always come to our class, he would only talk to Kaneshiro-san behind me. He and I associated primarily due to our mutual friend. This was our first actual conversation with each other.

“Nothing much. Business has been busier due to our new waitress who is trying many new things.” I respond.

“Oh…is that so…?” he said.

Akatsuka-san seemed like the opposite of Kaneshiro-san. He was tall, relatively attractive to the girls of Kasumigaseki High, yet he always hung out with Kaneshiro-san no matter what. I would never have managed to imagine the two of them being best friends.

“Uh…Yuki-san, you’ve been hanging out with Mary-chan a lot… are you two friends now?”

His question caught me by surprise. I was not sure what to think of Mary-chan. Ever since transferring to this school, she proclaimed me as her “arch-rival.” She and I would get the top scores for every test, and I have managed to challenge her physical scores as well. Although I felt that her animosity was light-hearted, I did not want to associate with her. After the incident and tutoring her, it seemed she has warmed up to me, and I have grown to like her as well. After all, she was one first people I have ever gotten close to.

“I like Mary. She can be quite a handful at times, but she always lightens my mood.” I let out a small chuckle.

“So…do you know if Mary is uh…” he paused.

His face was beginning to turn a slight pink. He stops in front of me and looks me in the eye.

“Do you know if Mary is interested in anyone?” he asked.

What does he mean?

From our conversations, I was not sure if Mary was interested in anyone. All we talked about was our day and what we did. Usually our “girl talk” at night was about homework or her complaining about minor things that happened to her. Last night she talked about how the vending machine on campus stole her money, and she started kicking the machine multiple times. She did not get the drink she desired, and instead received coffee at the chute. To my recollection, I do not think Mary was particularly interested in anyone. We’ve never talked about our interests yet.

 If anything, she would just complain about Kazuki-kun...

“I do not think so, Akatsuka-san.” I reply.

He let out a deep sigh, and I can tell that he was relieved.

“Ah! I was worrying about nothing then Yuki-san. Thank you for letting me know.” he says.

He walks a little faster ahead of me, gripping his light school bag behind him.

“I’ll see you later Yuki-san. I’m gonna be late to see my sister. Good luck on your end with Kaz!”

I try to hide my blush as he waves me off and runs off to the other side of the street into a confectionary store.

His sister must be very glad to have him as an older brother…

I arrived a little late to the Purffect Café, but manager-san was very lenient. I open the door, greeting Felix who just awoke from his afternoon nap.

“Meow…” I whisper to the chubby cat.

I am greeted by our newish employee, who went by the name of Neko-nee. Despite only working her for a few weeks, her waitress skills already rivaled mine. It was like she had been doing this for a long time.

“Akane-nyan! You’re finally here! I was so busy and manager-snyan has been working me so hard!” she pouted.

“I apologize Neko-nee for being late. Let’s get started.”

Neko-nee unexpectedly hugs me, making me a bit flustered!

W-What was that for?!?

I brush her off and get ready to work my part-time job.

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 I am drained…

I was lying on my bed, changed into my cat pajamas. It would be embarrassing to wear in public, but the hoodie made me feel very comfortable. It was still a little early to sleep, so I pulled out my mystery novel that I was reading.

Page 22…

*MEOW* *MEOW*

I begin reading only to be interrupted by my phone’s instant message tone.

Yep…it is Mary-chan on cue.

I close my book and place it back into my bag. I read the message she sent.

“AKANEEEEE! I STILL DON’T KNOW MY LINES!!!”

My ears hurt just from imagining her loud voice saying it.

I respond back to her. The four of us made some time during out study sessions to devote towards Akatsuka-san and Mary-chan learning their lines. After so much practice and reciting, I basically knew their lines by the back of my hand.

“We have been practicing those lines for a long time. Just believe in yourself.” I type back.

“Believe in yourself”…now that is a familiar phrase. Oh Kaneshiro-san.

“Alright…it’s just so hard to work with stupid Kazuki! ☹ I like you more Akane-chan! ☺”

A thought popped into my head. Earlier with my conversation with Akatsuka-san he asked me “if Mary-chan was interested in anyone.” I was curious to see if my answer was correct.

“Mary, do you have any interest in anyone?” I type to her.

She immediately responded back with all capital letters.

“WHATTTTTTTTTT?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!”

“Is there anyone you’re interested in?” I repeat.

Instead of a response I receive a phone call late at night. It was Mary.

“Hello?”

“WHHHHATTTT DO YOU MEAN AKANE?!?!” she screeched into the phone.

I pull back from my phone at her loud voice. It was late at night, and I am glad she did not wake up my neighbors.

“I am just wondering if you were interested in anyone, Mary. It is part of girl talk, is it not? Like those television shows and books.” I ask.

“W-Well…it’s not like I’m not interested in anyone! There’s no way I like him- OOPS!”

I was wrong?

“So you are interested in someone?” I ask.

This girl is so confusing…

Mary became silent.

“Hello? You still here Mary?” I asked to make sure.

“Akane…we’re friends right?” she asks.

Her question startled me. She was the first person I started talking on a daily basis. We hung out and studied together almost every day. She and I were friendly rivals.

This is what friends do right?

“Yes…” I respond back.

“Ok…you have to keep this a secret! But…”

She took a deep breath over her side of the phone, and let go of her secret.

“I think…I think I like Kazuki-kun! Arghhhhhh! I can’t believe I said that!” she pouted.

Hearing her say that felt like she lifted a weight off her shoulders. It was like she was hiding this for a long time and finally revealed it to me, someone she trusted.

“I see…”

“NGHRNGHRNGHR! I can’t take it anymore! I’m so embarrassed I’m gonna go run! Good night! Thanks for talking to me Akane-chan!!!”

“Good N-“ as my sentence is interrupted by the sound of the dial tone.

She really is the Roadrunner of Kasumigaseki…

I set my phone back on the nightstand and lie back down on my bed. The apartment was dead quiet right now. Enough that even a slight creak of the floorboards could be heard. I stare up at my ceiling and think about what Mary said to me.

She likes Kazuki…?

I was not sure what to think about it. But for some reason, hearing her say that made my heart sink. It was like someone had just punched me in the stomach, and I could barely breathe. I could not stop thinking about it. I grab my old stuffed cat doll and it hold tight to my chest. Tears started to form in my eyes, and I could not stop crying.

W-What is going on?!?

I should feel happy for Mary-chan and help her get with Kanshiro-san right?

There is no way Kazuki still sees me that way anymore…after I rejected him.

It makes sense now the way they talk to each other…

Like the way Kaneshiro-san talks to her…

They deserve each other!

I do not want to ruin my friendship with her…

I will do anything for my friends.

Why does my heart hurt?

It hurts…

It hurts so much…