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I am a Spy
Other junk I could be selling in Paraguay

Other junk I could be selling in Paraguay

Barra da Tijuca, Rio de Janeiro

The next day, Vini had already worked out a well-thought-out plan to bring the box, but he needed some outside help. So he called a classmate and asked him to sign his and Enzo's name on the attendance list for the first three periods. In the second half of the day, after the break, Vini once again had a card up his sleeve. He called one of his favorite teachers at school and asked for a favor.

- You can fuck me with this, Vini. Do you know that? - The teacher showed concern.

- I'm asking for a favor and it's important. - Vini said. - If you can't do it, I'll get it.

- That's fine. I'll do it. But you'll owe me big time.

- 10-4.

He turned off his cell phone and checked his wristwatch for the first time. Eight o'clock in the morning. The time he had arranged to meet Enzo at the entrance to Lake, but of course he would not be there. Julio came by with his bus at precisely eight o'clock, on what would be the first shift of the day, enviable British precision. He texted Vini as he stopped the vehicle in the boarding position, asking if they would get a ride with him.

- Yes, but that stupid Enzo won't show up. - Vini answered the message.

- Do you want me to wait? - Julio asked.

- Nah, let's just leave him here.

And so, it happened. Vini waited for Julio to open the door to shake his hand.

- Good morning, Julio.

- Good morning, Vini. Where are we going today?

Julio's route would be the same one that Vini and Enzo had been to the day before. Barra, Joá, São Conrado and Niemayer Avenue, crossing the coastline of Ipanema, Leblon and Copacabana, ending the trip in Downtown.

- I need you to drop me off in Vidigal.

Julio was surprised.

- Vidigal? What will you do there?

- Long ass story. I'll tell you later.

But Vini was not planning to tell. And Julio didn't remember to repeat the request.

On his way to Joá, Vini felt his cell phone shaking in his jacket pocket. He glanced at it and saw that it was Enzo, trying to reach him. On the screen appeared his only message, which said:

- Was the scheduled time 8:00 or 9:00?

Vini started laughing, turned off the screen, and fell asleep, but without remembering first that he had told Enzo what the meeting time would be at the Lake's reception.

- Smartass.

Vini was awakened by the sound of a loud knocking. As he was sitting in the first seat, Julio was kind enough to call him in case he was asleep. Still dizzy, Vini looked at the huge window beside him and saw that he was already on the twisty Niemayer Avenue. In a matter of minutes he would have to get off at the next bus stop.

Julio slowly stepped on the brake pedal. He pressed the button to open the side door and wished good luck to Vini, who expressed his thanks. Holding the huge box in his arms, he started to get cramps, so he sat down on the sidewalk in the opposite direction.

- Damn, where the bloody fuck is Enzo?

For a moment, Vini thought that Enzo would let him down, but he also couldn't imagine that he would have to wait more than an hour on the sidewalk, in the hot sun and no water available to drink. When he first met Enzo that day, he felt like murdering him.

- Will you never ever learn? - Vini asked, irritated. - Whenever I need you, it's the same shit, over and over again.

- Stop complaining, you prick. I just screwed up the time. It's not the end of the world.

- Oh, it is the end of the world, all for sure! I wanted to get there as soon as possible, to get out as soon as possible! But it's almost eleven o'clock and this place is already crowded.

- Vini, Vidigal is different from other slums. Many tourists come here because of the great nature, the excitement and the good energy.

- Have you been on the Internet again?

- Yes, I have. You don't want to search for "blue waffle". It's certainly not what I wanted to find, and it's certainly not what you are thinking.

- And what am I thinking, Enzo?

- A real blue waffle.

- Okay, this pointless conversation has cost us five minutes of our mission here and five minutes of my life, which will not be returned.

After the productive conversation, Vini and Enzo made their way across the street and began to venture into the Vidigal neighborhood. Despite his pointless stat, Enzo was somewhat right. On the way, he met many groups of tourists. Germans, North Americans, Italians, Japanese, Chinese, Argentineans, Chileans. Enzo even commented that in the neighborhood there were more international tourists than residents.

- What a weird place. - Enzo said. - It seems that everyone is watching you like shopping mall security cameras.

- Maybe because we are carrying a huge box and drawing unwanted attention.

- I don't see any connection.

- Stop babbling. What is the address?

- President João Goulart.

The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.

The uphill street made it difficult to walk. Thanks to Enzo's delay, the sun began to burn the strands of his hair. The extremely narrow street, with almost no sidewalk, was still filled with vehicles parked on both sides, making access very difficult. The houses were at most two floors high and glued to each other.

- What is the number, Billy(*)?

- 660.

Enzo searched for the number on the left side, while Vini took the right. After a few more meters, Vini found what he was looking for. But as it turned out, it wasn't exactly what he thought it was.

- Here? - Vini was in two minds. - It's a children's party house!

- Weird place to dump drugs and weapons. - Enzo remarked.

- I don't even know what to think. But we're not being paid to ask questions.

Enzo stared at Vini.

- We're not being paid for jackshit.

- Exactly.

The party house was a large, colorful, yellow-walled building, quite different from the others on the street. Vini didn't waste any time and knocked twice on the green entrance gate. A woman about Suzane's age greeted them.

- Hello - she said.

Vini was even more confused.

- Hi, we're here to deliver this box.

- Oh, is that right?

- Yes, it is.

Enzo was tired of watching that sad and pitiful act.

- We're here for Suzane.

- Oh, Suzane. Why didn't you say yet?

- Right? - Enzo stared at Vini. - Why didn't you say yet in the first place?

- Shall we come in? - Vini asked, taking cover in the shade. - It's fucking hot in here.

- Sure, come in.

Vini went in first, while Enzo came right behind. To their surprise, again, the inside of the party house looked more like a dusty warehouse than a fun place for kids.

- What is your name? - Enzo asked, without any embarrassment.

- Amanda. - She replied.

- Amanda, what is this place? It looks like a bunch of nothing.

- We purchased it. We are going to bring this place back to life.

- We?

- Yeah. - Amanda confirmed. - Me and my husband.

- Forgive my colleague, he's a bit retarded. - Vini said.

- The correct term is special. - Enzo corrected him.

- Too bad it's not your case, honey.

- Thank you for bringing the package. - Amanda said.

Amanda finally opened the box with a blade. It was the inside that perplexed the pair, like Brad Pitt was in Seven. Instead of what Enzo assumed, such as weapons and other explosive materials, the box simply contained office supplies. Glue sticks, tapes, papers and other similar materials. Ah, Vini didn't look happy.

- What the fuck is this? - He whispered to Enzo.

- Yeah, I've got my ball sack under lock and key - Enzo replied. - Suzane fooled us like a pair of cucks.

Technically, no. Well, she didn't say what they had to take to Vidigal. It was the package contents that were a surprise.

- Thank you for coming. - Amanda said. - I'll text Suzane and tell her the package was delivered.

- Don't mention it.

She walked them to the gate again. She thanked them for coming, despite the hot weather. The two went back the same route and began to chat about what had happened. Or, in that case, what didn't happen.

- What in the bloody whole fuck? - Enzo complained.

- Tell me about it. - Vini agreed. - What a shitty state of affairs.

- Can you believe it? All this for crap I could have bought at Kalunga(**).

- Well, to be fair, Suzane asked us a favor. To deliver the box to this address. We thought it was something to do with her husband and his criminal stuff.

- What about the boxes that I found in her room?

- Yeah, that was really fucked up. But maybe she was telling the truth. Her husband does his illicit shit and hides it from his wife.

- It's not possible that in your right mind you actually believe in that bullshit.

- What do you want me to say? That she is a crook? We have no proof about it.

- Hello? What about the damn boxes with drugs, guns and a bunch of other junk I could be selling in Paraguay?

- I know, Enzo. You already told me. Still, I'm clueless. We'll have to keep investigating.

- Investigating? Are you out of your mind?

- Hey, you took her pistol!

- I only took a pistol. And some money.

- Oh, come on, Enzo.

- Come on, my big white ass, Vini! I have the right to live a good life.

- Who's putting his dick in the anthill now?

- Still, you the one who wants to screw the dealer's wife.

- When have i ever said that?

(*) A reference to the song Don't Lose My Number, by Phil Collins.

(**) A Brazilian department store chain specializing in office stationery and electronic supplies.