Leblon, Rio de Janeiro

Leblon is one of the most famous neighborhoods in Rio de Janeiro and is the most expensive square meter in Brazil. The neighborhood is well known for its beach and quiet streets, shunned by tourists who prefer the coastline of the Postos 11 and 12. The name Leblon refers to an old French resident, Charles Leblon, who bought a farm in the region.

On one of the neighborhood's quiet streets was the LadiesClubHouse, an exclusive club of over 10 acres that only allowed women. Not much was known about what went on inside those walls. Like Masonry, the club members opted to keep their activities secret for some reason.

Meanwhile, Enzo and Vini were getting ready to go inside the club. The entrance was on a fairly long, but miserably narrow street of only one lane and a minuscule sidewalk. If the first impression is the one that matters, then you could say it was not a good first impression. The automatic glass gates opened to the sides and a woman by the name of Rayanne greeted them in a colorless rectangular room. She handed them the long admission paperwork and pointed to a rectangular table in the center of the room.

- Name? - asked Enzo, while filling out Vini's paperwork.

- Tatiana Alves de Carvalho.

Enzo narrowed his eyes in surprise.

- Carvalho? You know that only people of high profile and class have that last name.

- And?

- Clearly you have neither.

- Fine, I'll take something else. And you?

- Sarah Connor Collins.

Vini was not surprised.

- You're a joke.

- You're a joke! I put "The Terminator" and Phil Collins together in one person. It's a work of a genius, which is bigger than the entire neighborhood of Leblon.

Hard to argue with logic...

- Okay. - Vini ignored him and continued with the questions. - Marital status?

- Dating.

- That's not a marital status.

- So, what should I say?

- I don't know, i can't find "sleeping with them all" as a valid option.

- How can that be a marital status?

Yes, Vini needed to explain this in a way that Enzo could understand. That is, as if he was talking to a small child.

- Address? Just put Lake's address. Do you have any kind of physical problem?

- My balls hurt in the early morning hours, according to the ambient temperature. Occasionally I wonder if I'm not carrying a shopping bag between my legs.

- Another mental image that I didn't need.

While marking with an "x" on the other options, something odd caught his attention, again:

- Crap. There's a whole page just of genders!

Vini showed the paper to Enzo. The list of names was very impressive.

- What is a "pangender"?

- I have no idea. May be some kind of different way of having sex, who knows. People who like to fuck dolls, cars, plants. That must be the reason for the "pan" prefix.

- It must have to do with that Pan-Am airline. They only accept "pan".

If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

- Yeah, that's for sure. - Vini didn't really mean it.

- Does Word even recognize it? I mean, is it without the red line under the word?

- I don't know, but California and New York certainly do.

- Look, Vini, "no gender!" - Enzo began to laugh. - How do these people go to the bathroom? Do they do it on the street? MTF? It should be WTF.

After many more questions - and no answers - Vini finally concluded the long questionnaire. He handed it to the receptionist and received a pink card.

- This card gives access to all the places. Don't lose it.

- All right, thank you.

Vini handed the card to Enzo and gave him a reminder.

- Don't lose this shit.

- Don't worry. No need to scream blue murder anyway.

The two passed through the glass door that separated the reception room from the actual club. A middle-aged woman in a white outfit stopped the golf cart right next to them, almost running them over.

- Where do you two want to go?

- I have no ass idea. - Enzo answered.

- For new customers, we have a very good discount for the literature and poetry section.

- Do you have an area only for these two topics?

- Yes, we do. The club defends good manners and traditionalism.

Whatever that would stand for.

- Vini...

Before he could correct himself to his made-up name, Enzo received an elbow hit in the chest area.

- Ouch, my... boob!

Vini continued staring. Enzo didn't understand the reason for Vini's nervousness.

- What? Men have boobies too.

- Stay in your character, you idiot! - Vini scolded him.

- Man, what is this place? It's like one of those socialite clubs!

- But that's exactly it, En... - Vini almost repeated the mistake. - Sarah.

- And what's your name again?

- Targaryen. Diane Targaryen.

- The mother of the dragons?

- Very smart, no?

- No, very awful, just like the ending of the show.

The golf cart has come to a stop. Enzo and Vini, or more accurately, Sarah and Diane got off and soon realized why the club was so exclusive. All that could be imagined, the LadiesClubHouse had on a grand scale. A huge golf course, movie theaters, spa, hotel rooms, a girls' riding course, beauty salon, gym and many other facilities.

- My Lord. That's a freaking ass town! - Vini commented. - How the hell are we going to find Suzane?

- We'll have to "Dora the Explorer" thing.

First of all, the strange couple went to the first building, a beauty salon. They were welcomed by a young woman from China with long hair, green eyes and well done eyebrows. Enzo and Vini were intimidated by the huge room of at least fifty square meters with at least twenty ladies side by side doing their hair and nails. Enzo ignored Vini and sat down in the last armchair available.

- What the hell are you doing?

- What does it look like I'm doing? I'm already here, so why not?

The manicurist was astonished by Enzo's hands and asked him:

- Shit, who shaved these nails? A beaver?

As Enzo was given the treatment that only a lady like.... Well, him, deserved, Vini was annoyed, because he knew that Enzo's silliness was wasting precious time. Soon, he had two options. One, wait for the ridiculous beauty session to end or leave Enzo behind, once again. And by considering the plot up to this point, needless to say which of the two Vini has chosen to follow.