Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

It was 9:30 in the night. Vini was waiting patiently at the table of the five-star restaurant he had chosen for his first date with Belgium. He double-checked his wristwatch and had the terrible feeling that Enzo could be right. Just having that thought made his spine churn. However, luck seemed to follow him, as Belgium showed up, using a cute blue long dress and some grease in her hair. But primarily, she was stunning.

- Wow, Belgium, you look stunning. - said Vini, stealing the line from the voice-over me.

- Thank you for that. - She replied and sat down.

Seconds later, a short waiter with round glasses handed the menu to the couple.

After a while, Vini needed to say something, anything. A joke, a funny remark, some interesting news. Or perhaps...

- I have to pee. - he said, getting up. - I drank a lot of liquid before you got here. I have the bladder of a two-year-old. I really should use Huggies.

- That's okay," Belgium replied.

Vini rushed off to the bathroom. Luckily for him, - or unluckily, again, it is somewhat relative - there was a large mirror on the bathroom door, which you could see Belgium sitting on, somewhat confused, by the look on her face.

- Oh, shit. - Vini then thought.

Desperate times, desperate measures, the saying goes. So Vini locked himself in one of the cabins and phoned Enzo. Or at least that was the plan. His partner soon answers the call.

- Hello, Vini. How are you?

- You know how I am.

- Do I?

- If everything was fine, do you think I would be calling you?

Good point.

- Yeah, that fits.

- What the fuck do I do, Enzo? I'm with the most beautiful girl...

- In fact...

- I do not wanna know, Enzo! - Vini interrupted. - I don't know how to take the next step.

- Well, buddy, all you have to think about is... What would Phil Collins do?

- Are you shitting me?

- No, my friend. The answer to all your problems is to think about the very question: what would Phil Collins do?

The desperation was so bad that Vini actually thought of that question as something very serious.

- He would probably write a song full of resentment over some failed love relationship and make his millions and maybe a Grammy.

- Exactly my point.

- Enzo, you' not being helpful.

- Oh, was I supposed to help?

The author's narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

Vini should have known better.

- Think, friend. What would Phil Collins do?

Enzo hung up the cell phone and didn't speak to Vini any longer. Only a creature with the intelligence of a fruit could think of one of the greatest singers of all time in the middle of a girlish crisis. Slowly he became aware that he was on his own.

A few minutes later, Vini returned to the table. Belgium was more beautiful than she had looked before. Who knows if Destiny will give him a chance? So he went out to take a chance.

- Are you a Phil Collins fan?

Belgium thought it was hilarious and answered.

- I do. How did you know?

- His lyrics are very beautiful, and recently I saw a picture of you wearing one of his shirts.

So-so. Enzo showed a picture of the family and indeed Belgium was wearing the shirt with the face of the British artist and former Genesis drummer.

- My sister has the shirt. Enzo gave it to her as a souvenir.

- Oh, but you are into his music?

- Of course. My father is a drummer.

- Really?

- No wonder he likes Enzo a lot, but fakes hating him to get him scared. It's hilarious when he comes to the house and my dad squeezes his hand like he wants to tear it into a million pieces.

- Enzo is very chicken shit all the way.

- When I was younger, my father made a CD with his voice and drums playing for us to sleep on. I have the CD to this day, tucked away in my drawer.

What would Phil Collins do, Vini remembered. In the end, it was a great night, which started poorly, but finished very well. As he walked her back home, he spotted a curious detail. At the end of the street, a Jaguar 4x4 entered one of the many gated communities on the street.

- Strange, he noted.

- What? - Belgium didn't understand.

- Nothing, nothing. - Vini lost his way.

At the gate of his house, Belgium look amazing. The moonlight was beating down on the treetops and no cars were driving by. A perfect night. Vini heard a familiar song on a loudspeaker in some apartment.

- That's my Dad,- she said. - I don't know how we haven't been kicked out of the building yet.

- Maybe the neighbors like it.

- Yeah, they may do.

Vini leaned in slowly and then kissed her. It wasn't his first, but it was the couple's first. And it was a beauty. First of many, he wondered.

- Good night, - Belgium said.

- Good night, - he said.

Upon entering the house, she found a scene of horror. Italy running in her panties through the living room, Enzo behind her, Slovakia on her cell phone upside down, Albania watching TV and her father playing drums in his underwear.

- Holy shit. - said Belgium, somewhat startled. - What a house of horrors.