The Great Picnic Panic - Part One

May 30th, 2011 was one of the turning points in human history, through few people knew it at the time. The event that was later called the Great Picnic Panic started quite simply when a then new heroine, Queen Administrator, decided to host a picnic only a day after the Slaughterhouse Nine, infamous parahuman criminals, attacked Brockton Bay. The group's goal was, ostensibly, to recruit that very same heroine.

Things truly started going wrong around noon, though the inception of these historical events can be traced back to earlier in the day.

-Excerpt from: Parahumans; how the Super Changed History

***

May 30th, 2011.

Morning of the Great Picnic Panic

Taylor's yawn was wide enough that it had her jaw aching and her spine tingling. She had woken up to the sun shining through her window and the birds singing outside. After stretching and rolling out of bed, she stood up and started looking for clean clothes, only to pause when her attention drifted to the window.

There was a face there, a very large--but not fat--face that was entirely white as though carved out of marble. "Unit Three?" she said, squinting at the figure.

[Amused. Affirmative.]

"So, you're still around?" she said as she walked away from the window and started looking for pants.

[Affirmative. Agreement incomplete.]

"Agreement... oh, our trade from last night. Yeah, okay. You did carry out your end. So, is your primary directive the same as Unit Twos was?" The jeans she found were a little ratty, but it was either that or nothing.

[Annoyance. Affirmative.]

She pulled on a simple t-shirt. It wasn't worth finding something nicer since it'd be hidden by her costume anyway. "Cool, so, same rules apply. Don't hurt me, and try to stop others from hurting me. Listen to what I say, unless doing that would end up hurting me, and try to keep yourself safe."

[Joy. New Primary, Secondary and Tertiary Directives Accepted! Previous Primary Directive Overwritten.]

Taylor smiled as she made her way downstairs and started looking for her sneakers. She'd made another friend! With Cass yesterday, and Leviathan before that, she now had three whole friends. This was the best week ever.

She stepped outside into a sunny Monday morning. School was starting up today, but she figured that she could make an exception, what with Unit Three joining her for the first time. Yup, that was as good a reason as any to avoid school.

The Simurgh was nowhere to be seen, but Taylor didn't mind that so much. Instead she walked towards the gas station where Leviathan was hiding and stepped into the alley. "Heya big guy! How are you?"

{Unit-02 is combat ready.} Leviathan said. He moved out of the deeper shadows of the alley and stood a little closer. Was it her imagination or was he standing taller?

"Good to hear! So, we've got a few things that need doing today," she said as she reached the box that hid her costume. With practiced motions she slid on her tassled robes and slid on a domino mask under her hood.

{Priorities?}

"Well, first we need to find a civilian identity for Unit Three. Then we need to find her some clothes, because she's naked and that's just inappropriate. Oh, and this afternoon we have that picnic to make up for yesterday's mess. Maybe we could invite a few more people over? And we need to go see Cass at the hospital too. Probably do that before the picnic."

A shadow fell across the alleyway as The Simurgh lowered herself down to stand by Leviathan. This close together it really highlighted how much smaller Unit Three was than Leviathan. She wasn't small. No fifteen-foot tall woman covered in wings could be called small, but she wasn't half as tall as Unit Two.

[Indignant. No clothing. Feathers.]

Taylor shook her head. "You can't just use feathers. You need to wear something."

[Discrepancy. Unit-02 Clothingless.] The Simurgh pointed out.

{Negative. Unit-02 has acquired clothing.} He bowed his head a little, displaying the top hat that sat on his head at a jaunty angle. {Acquired 'Fancy Top Hat' as part of Disguise Protocols instated by Host-Queen_Administrator.}

"Right, plus you look like a girl. You can't just go around topless."

[Indignant. Unit-03 is 'perky.'] The Simurgh crossed her arms under her chest and puffed her chest and wings out.

Taylor stared, then looked down at her own assets. "B-be that as it may," she said past a furious blush. "You still need to wear something. Plus it'll be fun."

Unit Three seemed to think on that for a moment, then she nodded. [Accepting. Will Acquire clothes.]

Taylor beamed up at her new friend. "Cool! If you really don't like it after trying some, then I guess it wouldn't matter too much. It would just make things way less awkward if you were, uh, not naked."

With a deep breath to recentre herself, Taylor looked out of the alley and towards the rest of her city. She paused three steps later. "Uh, You don't happen to know anything about fashion, do you?"

***

Sabah's life had taken a turn for the surreal the day Queen Administrator had visited her. First, the PRT had spent hours drilling her over her admittedly long conversations with the young parahuman. They had only really stopped when she started refusing to answer their questions. It was rather obvious that they didn't know what to do about the teen who controlled Leviathan and she could sympathise. That sympathy lasted until they started weedling her for details about Queen Administrator's appearance under the costume.

The week that followed was one of the strangest in her career as a designer and tailor. First came those curious about the place where The Queen Administrator had bought her now infamous costume, then the investors started poking around.

It helped, she realised, that Queen Administrator was often found on PHO wasting time and answering inane questions. One of the most common questions asked to a new cape was about their costume, and Queen Administrator was liberal in her praise of Parian and her little shop near the Boardwalk.

So, like any halfway decent businessperson, Sabah jumped on the opportunity. She went online and auctioned off the rest of her stock. In no time at all she had more money than she knew what to do with and a list of orders longer than she was tall. Things were finally looking up.

Sabah smiled as she moved another bolt of cloth over to a sewing machine while another length of cloth flew across her workshop, unfolding all the while two wrap around an evening dress she was creating.

She had hired a young woman to help her keep an eye on the shop floor. It helped that hers was one of the only stores to reopen so soon. That was going to change though, the Great Brockton Bay Tsunami had scared some people off, but it couldn't be denied that the entire city was quite a bit cleaner.

Things were still uncertain at home. Folks didn't know what to do now that the bigger gangs were mostly gone. There was hope that things would only get better from there, but then there was the Queen Administrator with her pet Endbringer. How many wanted to stake their future on the back of a single, somewhat unstable teenager?

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

She sighed as she added the finishing touches to the dress. A pretty black thing with an open back, ordered by someone on PHO. The measurements were obviously too big for a normal person, but she wasn't going to ask questions. The client's money was real enough, so she couldn't complain.

Just as she was about to box the dress, her new employee slipped into the workshop. "Um, Miss Parian. Sorry to bother you, but, uh, Leviathan." The girl swallowed. She was holding onto a couple of hats that were supposed to be on display out front, a fedora and a bowler hat. "I mean, Leviathan's standing out front."

Parian nodded once, then walked towards the front door. She tried to glide, to walk in such a way that her dress hid the way her legs wobbled. She paused as she entered the shop front. She could see the scaly grey skin of Leviathan standing just outside her shop through the front windows. More concerning was the girl standing in the middle of the shop while twirling from side to side to let the tassels of her costume wrap around her legs.

"Hello, Queen Administrator."

The young cape's attention snapped around to Sabah and she grinned wide. "Parian!"

"How are you doing?" she replied, falling back to old courtesies while her mind rushed. The Endbringer-controlling cape didn't seem to be in a bad mood. And she seemed to like her costume, she'd even said as much online. Did she want something new? She could do that.

"I'm alright. Very busy, but things are pretty good. I'm extra happy that your shop's open. Especially since most other stores are closed today because of those Slaughterhouse people."

Parian swallowed hard. "Yes, I heard they were in town. I, I could have stayed at home, but honestly, if they come for me it's better that I be here where I'm never really unarmed and closer to the Protectorate."

Queen Administrator nodded. "Yeah, I hear ya. That Jack guy talked to me yesterday." Parian's heart skipped a beat at that. "He was kinda nice, but kinda rude, you know? Then that naked one, the Siberian attacked me. Oh, and the one with all the glass, Shatterbird. Also, Squealer and Skidmark."

"But you're okay?" she asked.

"Oh? Yeah, I'm fine. They're, uh, sorta all dead though... but it's not my fault!" she added hastily while moving her arms as if to deny it all. "Skidmark and Squealer attacked me first, and Unit Two just defended me. The other two were taken out by the Simurgh. Speaking of, could you help me find her some clothes?"

The Simurgh lowered herself down in front of her shop and waved.

Parian fainted.

***

Taylor leaned over the fallen fashionista cape. She'd managed to move her closer to the counter at the back of the room and pushed her up so that she was sitting against it instead of just being flopped on the ground. Beyond that, though, Taylor was kind of stumped. "Parian? Hello? It's okay, Parian, you can, uh, unfaint now."

The cape groaned then flinched back from Taylor who immediately backed up. She stared around the shop, her doll-face looking everywhere before snapping back to Taylor. "Did I?"

"Yup."

"Oh my. I'm sorry. I don't suppose you could help me up?" she said.

Taylor smiled at her as she stood up straight and extended a hand to the doll cape. It wasn't hard to lift her to her feet. "I'm sorry, I guess I went a bit too fast with all the revelations as stuff, huh?"

"A bit, yes," Parian said and her little accent made that sound like the greatest of crimes. "Did you really just ask me to make a dress for the Simurgh?"

Taylor laughed awkwardly and dragged her attention away from the cape. "Heh, yeah?"

"I..." Parian looked as though she very much wanted to pinch her brow. "Queen Administrator, you have been a huge boon to my business. But that was you, a human, a scary one, but one that has, so far, been viewed in a rather positive light. Do you have any idea what would happen if the Simurgh was seen wearing one of my signature dresses?"

"Um, it would be bad?" Taylor guessed.

"Yes, yes it would."

Taylor resisted the urge to pout. "Well, shucks, okay. Um, would it still be bad if I just asked you for advice, then?"

[Dismissive. Unnecessary.]

Taylor frowned and spun to look out the window. "What'd you mean, unnecessary? The advice?" Parian didn't push or ask why she the Endbringer-controlling girl was talking to no one in particular. She rather liked living.

[Affirmative.]

She crossed her arms and walked a little closer to the window, the Simurgh just stared "So, you think you know better than Parian?" Taylor said to the window, confusing the cape behind her.

The Simurgh dropped from above and floated to a stop an inch off the ground. Her face turned Taylor's way, ignoring Parian who scrambled back at the sight of her. [Smug.] With a gesture, the Endbringer did something and a girl screamed from within the workshop.

Taylor twisted around in time to see the door to Parian's workspace open and something black flutter out. Then the door closed with a decisive 'snip.' When she turned back around it was to find the Simurgh now wearing a black cocktail dress made of a dozen layers of silky cloth layered over each other. An equally black fedora sat on her head, raked back to let the Endbringer see clearly.

"Um," Parian said. "Did she just... steal one of my dresses?"

Taylor huffed. "Hey, you can't do that!"

[Negative. Paid for.]

"What do you mean you paid for it?" Then Taylor looked at the cut of the dress and the way it fit her rather larger than average frame. "Did you order that?"

The Simurgh shook her head. Then her lips quirked up in a mischievous smile and she raised her wings around her as if to make herself larger. Sunlight reflected off her wings, casting her skin in a million rainbow hues. [Preen. Coincidence!]

Taylor shook her head. "Bullpoop," she said. Then she noticed that both the Simurgh and Leviathan were looking right past her. Turning, Taylor found a tall-ish redhead talking with Parian in a low whisper. She looked familiar, but before she could take a good look the girl noticed that she was the focus of the Endbringer's attention, 'eeped', and ran off back to the workshop.

"I'm really sorry, Parian. Uhm, how much was that dress?" Taylor cringed. Dresses that pretty were expensive, and she still owed Parian for her own costume. And Leviathan's hat. And the Simurgh's hat.

"It was a special order, from PHO. An account called The Winged One, paid for it in full just... this... morning," Parian said while eyeing the winged Endbringer.

Taylor turned to stare really hard at her newest friend.

[Coincidence!]

***

Parian leaned back against her shop's counter. Her costume felt ten times heavier, as if she couldn't stand straight anymore. That had been, without any doubt, perhaps the second scariest thing that had ever happened to her.

She'd received the order for that dress before Leviathan attacked Brockton Bay. Before Queen Administrator supposedly triggered. And it fit the Simurgh perfectly.

Swallowing hard, Parian vowed that she was going to start drinking. Her new shop assistant stepped out of the back room. "Is she gone?" she whispered.

"She's gone, you can come out now, Emma. There's nothing to fear."

***