In Which Taylor Visits her Royal Abode

***

{Affirmative. Use Local Resources?}

"As long as you don't hurt anyone," Taylor muttered before spearing a tomato with her fork and chewing.

She was just starting to scrape the remains of the sauce off her plate when she realised that all the conversation at the table had stopped. Amy, Vicky and Cass were all staring past Taylor's shoulders and off into the Bay.

There was now a building competing with the Rig for attention out in the waters of Brockton Bay. It was a huge towering edifice of ice and cascading water. It rose out of the Bay like a spire surrounded by a million jagged spikes, all sharp points and sharp edges as though someone had tried to build something using a pile of kitchen knives as inspiration. The centre of it had a column of water that splashed up and reached towards the sky before tumbling back down into the forest of spines like the most demented fountain ever.

"Hmm," Taylor said. "A bit too spiky. Unit Three, help him out a bit." She turned back and looked to see if she could find a menu. There was still room for dessert.

{Affirmative. Unit-03 will Accept Aid from Unit-02 in Designing Host-Queen_Administrator Fortress of Genocide-Prevention.}

"Uh, Tay?" Cass said. She was pointing with her fork at where the spire had been.

This time, when Taylor looked, it was to have her eyes cross and her head start pounding, a dull throb building in the back of her head. "Um," she said as she took in what might have been a building, or a tower. Maybe. It was a collection of shapes, each one sliding in and out of the other in ways that really shouldn't have been possible yet still were.

Every time she tried to get a sense of scale her mind just blanked and trying to focus on any one part of it had her attention slipping off and into the fractal abyss held in the icy plates of what might have been the object's walls.

"Simmy, what?"

[Pretty. Non-Euclidean! Stares back.]

"No Simmy, just, no." Taylor shut her eyes and after a few seconds the pain started to fade. When she no longer had the impression that the shadows behind her eyelids were going to swallow her she opened her eyes again to see the Bay once more empty save for the Rig. "Maybe something from Lord of the Rings or something? Oh! Make it a Disney castle."

"You're insane," Amy said, though there was no venom in her voice. She was just stating it as though it were fact.

Taylor grinned at her fellow royal, then at the palace growing out of the water. It had three towers--two at the front and one in the rear--all surrounding a chateau with a peaked roof. Gargoyles appeared on the edges of the roof and colonnades of spun ice tore out of the Bay, forming a massive drawbridge suspended before mammoth doors at the front of the castle.

Thin filigree shaped like petals of snow grew off every edge and corner, giving the entire castle a cold yet delicate appearance, as though just a bit of warmth would be enough to melt it all away.

"Pretty," Taylor said as she took it in. And it truly was beautiful. All shades of blue and white, glinting like a kaleidoscope as the noonday sun's light fractured through icy walls and painted the entire thing in all the shades of the rainbow. "Ah, shucks, we could have had a sing-along while building the castle, like something out of a movie."

[Excited! Can Sing! Pretty voice.] The Simurgh sang a quick do-re-mi that had everyone wincing.

Amy gave Taylor a flat look. "Queen Administrator, please don't ask the Simurgh to sing."

"Ah-hah, sorry?" she said. "So, should we get dessert, or do you guys want to visit the castle?" Taylor's brow twisted into a thoughtful frown. "Also, I need to name it."

"No, we need to name it," Cass said. "Taylor, if you name it, it'll be called MorsDeath Von Killkittens Castle or something equally hideous." Vicky giggled into her palm, earning a glare from Cass. "Don't laugh, Glory Girl."

"Hey!" Taylor and Vicky said at the same time.

"Cass is right," Amy said, earning twin looks of horror. "Also, Taylor, I'm full, so I'll be skipping on the dessert. We can visit... MorsDeath Von Killkittens whenever you want."

"Please don't start calling it that," Cass said with a note of begging in her voice.

"Well, if she's going to call my castle the Panpalace I'll mock hers too."

Vicky quirked an eyebrow at her sister. "You don't have a castle. Unless you were planning on building one? Sex dungeons and all." Vicky suppressed a grin upon seeing Amy's blush. "Oh-hoh, my sister has visions of royalty."

Taylor stood up, her chair clattering back. "Okay! Let's go visit the Icy Doom Castle!"

"No, Taylor, we're not calling it the Icy Doom Castle," Cass pointed out.

"How about, um, Ebola Plagues Doom Fortress?"

Cass pinched the bridge of her nose. "New rule. No names related to things that kill people. Also, that name would be way better for Panacea's castle."

"What?" Amy asked. "Are you mocking my Cancer Castle? Do you want me to lock you up in my dungeon? And not the fun one."

Cass snorted and even Taylor giggled at her fellow princess's snark. The other girls were standing now too, all except for Vicky who flew into the restaurant proper to pay for the food. Taylor, meanwhile, hopped over the little fence that marked off the terrace from the Boardwalk, and made her way over to the edge of the water nearest the castle. It was still a good kilometer away and into the Bay, a little farther out than the Rig. It just looked closer on account of how huge it was.

She felt a little tingle of pleasure in her gut, knowing that her fortress was bigger than the Protectorate's.

"So, find any other names?" Amy asked as she snuck up beside her.

"Hrm, maybe I should name it after what it's supposed to do," Taylor said.

"That sounds... practical."

"How's Protecto-Fortress-Castle sound?"

"It's perfect," Amy said with a voice so devoid of emotion she could have passed for a robot.

Taylor huffed. "Fine. And here I was going to help you build your castle later." She crossed her arms under her chest and made sure Amy caught a glimpse of her pout.

She could feel the healer's eyes on her for a few long seconds before she spoke. "You really want me to have a castle?"

"Or a palace. And a crown, of course. You could make it out of people."

Taylor thought Amy might blanch at that, but instead her eyes went glassy for a moment as though thinking of how exactly she'd go about doing just that. "You know what? Fine. I could use a place of my own anyway. It'd show Carol up if I had a house that was nicer than hers."

"And the crown?"

"M-maybe not that," Amy admitted.

"You could make it out of flowers! Or kittens! That way, when you're stressed, you could just pet your head and the crown would start purring."

"That," Amy said, "was perhaps the most horrific thing I have ever heard. I think Carol would have a conniption. I like it."

Taylor grinned at her princess friend. "Hey, can you turn people into cat-people? Like, could you give Vicky a tail and fluffy kitty ears and make it so that she wants belly rubs and purrs when you scritch her behind the ears? Because that would be adorable! Actually, I think she'd be more of a dog person, now that I think about it. You could play fetch! Although, you might end up having her trying to lick you all over."

Amy's face had started red and kept getting darker with every word out of Taylor's mouth. "L-let's just visit the castle," she said in a voice that was just shy of a scream. Cass placed a comforting hand on the healer's shoulder.

"The trick is to stop her before she starts motormouthing," Cass advised sagely. "It's just easier that way."

Taylor ignored them in favour of searching the waters for Unit Two. She found him on his back, staring up at the sky as if he had no cares in the world. Her first BFF really liked playing in the water. "Hey, Unit Two, could you make us a bridge to the Freezy Icy Ice Castle?" She turned to her human friends hopefully.

"Vetoed." Cass shot the name down.

"Aww."

{Unit-02 preparing Construction of Bridge for Host-Queen_Administrator. Utilizing Plans created by Unit-03.} With a lazy swish of his hand, Leviathan gestured between the stretch of Boardwalk where they were gathered and the distant castle. Nothing happened for a moment, then the water in a straight line between the two points began to waver before a structure slowly rose out from between the churning waves.

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The bridge was just wide enough that a pair of cars could have driven on it side-by-side. Guardrails as tall as Taylor shot out of the sides, each one a twisting spiral of ice set roughly a meter apart with a wall of gigantic snowflakes growing between them and fractal spines pointing away from the walkway.

The Boardwalk shook as the foot of the bridge crashed through the newly repaired rails and set itself at Taylor's feet. "Taa-daa!" Taylor said.

"We could have just flown over," Cass pointed out. "I could lift some benches and Vicky could carry one of us. Or you could've ridden with the Simurgh."

"Yeah, but this way people can visit my castle without having to fly. Also, now I can say that the Bay is my moat."

"Your moat is almost a mile across?" Vicky asked.

"All the better to keep all my precious things safe," Taylor said. "Not that I actually have anything to put there yet. I've got that figurine that Legend signed, and his panties, but that's about it."

All three girls looked as though they wanted to ask about her figurine, but they just imitated fish for a moment before thinking better of it. Taylor smiled at them, then took the first step onto the bridge.

She had kind of expected it to be slippery, what with the entire thing being made of ice and all, but there was plenty of traction, and upon squinting at the surface a bit, she noticed a diamond pattern etched into and through it. The entire bridge was porous. Probably, she realised, to stop rain from collecting on it.

With a skip in her step, Taylor led her small procession along.

"That is way bigger than I thought it was," Cass said when they grew closer. Her neck was craned way back to stare up at one of the two towers that guarded the drawbridge. It was, Taylor guessed, about half as tall as the Medhall building, which itself had fifty-odd floors.

They slowed to a stop at the place where the bridge ended, maybe twenty meters away from the drawbridge that would let them get farther in. "Um," Taylor said. She looked around, then spotted a pillar of the bridge that was wider than the rest, its top curving in towards the group like an upside-down teardrop. There was something like a panel on the icy surface.

When she approached, it was to find the rough outline of a hand. Taylor pressed hers against it, and rather than feel the coolness of ice she felt a warmth race up her arm.

[Smug. Good Security.]

"Very cool," Taylor said. "Is it Tinkertech?"

Unit Three's preening was all the answer she needed.

With a shudder that they felt rather than heard, the drawbridge lowered. Chains of gleaming steel held the massive plate that made up the last portion of the bridge. With a heavy clunk, it fit into place, allowing them their first view into the courtyard.

Taylor raced ahead of her friends, spun around to face them, and spread her arms wide as if in invitation. This, she thought, was what Willy Wonka must have felt like. "Welcome, friends, to the Grand Administratorius!"

"I give the showboating a two out of ten," Cass said.

Amy snorted. "I'll give it a three. But the name's not bad. It's not good, but it's not bad."

"You're just angry because my castle's cooler than yours," Taylor said.

"I don't have a castle," Amy shot back.

Taylor's smile could have rivalled the Simurgh's for smugness. "Exactly." Turning on a heel, Taylor crossed the bridge and stepped into the courtyard of the castle proper. Only now that she was in front of the main palace was she able to really take it all in.

The main building looked like a chateau that should have been in the French countryside. It was roughly square, with windows all over that hinted at the beauty and treasures within without actually showing anything.

The courtyard itself was wide enough that Taylor could imagine someone parking a semi-trailer in the middle of it with little difficulty. There was no lush grass to greet them -- instead the entire ground was covered in flagstones that looked as though they'd just been torn out of the ocean floor.

Alcoves decorated the insides of the walls of the castle, twenty in all. Two of them, off to her right, had statues. The almost life-size baroque likenesses of Leviathan and the Simurgh stood in just the right way for the sun's light to glint off their stony faces.

The group paused before the doors of the keep, two slabs of ice so thick that they couldn't see through them. A pair of handles sat in the middle of the doors, about fifteen feet off the ground.

"That's convenient," Vicky said. She took off and flew towards the handles, then wrapped her arms around one and flew backwards. Or she tried. All she earned for herself was a red face as she tried to pull the door back and it refused to budge.

A scaly hand gently grabbed Vicky around the waist and pulled her back, leaving the girl dangling in the grip of a curious Leviathan. {Unit-02 will Open Gate. Host-Aura_Projector Insufficiently Strong.}

Leviathan gently placed Vicky back down right next to her sister and turned to the doors, ignoring the look of restrained and rather petulant fury she gave him. Two massive hands pressed up against the doors, one on each side, and the Endbringer set his feet before shifting his weight forwards.

Leviathan's arms bulged and his feet dug into the ground before, slowly, the door began to open with a grinding sound like steel on steel.

Cold air whistled out of the keep, ruffling hair and sending shivers down the spines of Taylor's friends. Leviathan stepped aside, allowing them their first sight of the grand hall.

Taylor walked in, her eyes climbing as her gaze followed one of the columns lining the room to stare up ata ceiling made entirely of stained glass, or something similar enough that it didn't matter. The light streaming into the hall glowed a faint pink and orange. Most of the light seemed to concentrate on a path leading right down the middle of the hall and to a dais at the far end.

Taylor squealed as she saw what waited for her there.

The throne sat tall and proud in the middle of the dais. Cushions of every colour, to match the pattern of her robes, were pressed into a seat with a back so tall it almost touched the ceiling above. Faces and heads were carved into the block of stone, just barely visible when the light hit them right.

She hopped on the dais, spun on her heel, and flopped down into the throne. With a bit of squirming to make herself comfortable, Taylor found the perfect position and watched as her friends stared around the throne room with mouths agape. Or at least, she wished that was the case.

Her friends were all capes and, apparently, had seen better.

"Not bad," Cass said as she took it all in with a glance.

Taylor tried not to pout too hard. She was about to suggest that they delve deeper into the castle when a dong sounded out across the hall. "What was that?"

[Doorbell!]

"We have a doorbell?" Taylor asked.

{Affirmative.}

"Huh." Taylor hopped off her throne and started the long walk to the opposite end of the room. Her friends filed in behind her, all of them a little curious as to who, exactly, was knocking at the gates of the Great Administratorius.

The world outside the castle proper was surprisingly warm, and Taylor only now realised just how cold it had been in the great hall. All of those thoughts were ripped away as she took in the literal dragon waiting patiently by the gates.

"Dragon?" Taylor asked before taking off at a sprint. "What are you doing here?"

"Hello, Taylor," Dragon said. "I saw your little castle and thought I would come and say hello. I brought a housewarming gift," the Canadian Tinker said. "I hope you like cake."

Taylor and Cass both licked their lips, and their pupils grew wide behind half-lidded eyes. They were eerily in synch for a moment.

"Thanks Dragon. Um, you can come in, if you want. I'm sure even your suit will fit in the great hall, at least. We're still exploring, so we haven't found the kitchens yet. But we'll find plates. I swear it." Taylor gave the mechanical dragon a quick hug, then looked out past the gates into the Bay proper and towards Brockton Bay itself.

Something shifted.

One moment, Taylor was standing next to Dragon, wondering whether or not to ask Unit Two to make plates out of ice so that she could get to the cake faster, the next she was on a rooftop in the middle of Brockton Bay, blinking at a man in a top hat and domino mask who was grinning at her.

"Hello there," the man said. "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" he asked.

Taylor's world went dark.

***