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How to Train Your Endbringer
In Which Taylor's Evil Twin Summons A Monster

In Which Taylor's Evil Twin Summons A Monster

In Which Taylor's Evil Twin Summons A Monster

Taylor was, at one time, used to being afraid. Every morning when she'd wake up to go to school it was with a pit gnawing at her stomach. Every time her dad asked her if she was doing okay. Every time she'd see Emma, or Sophia, or Madison while minding her own business.

She had only just started to get used to the idea that she didn't need to be afraid for herself anymore, that she had people, friends, that she could rely on to keep her safe.

"...Kill! Help me! Kill Everything!"

Five words that made her breath catch, that had her blood running cold and that rooted her feet to the ground. It wasn't the fear of dying. No, that was too alien a concept. It was the betrayal, the thought that Simmy and Levi would turn on her because of a simple mistake.

[Soothing,] came the Simurgh's voice. It was softer than usual, almost apologetic in a way that Taylor had never heard before. [Will not Kill Host-Queen_Administrator. Will Never Hurt Best Friend Host-Queen_Administrator.]

"Oh," Taylor said.

[False-Host-Queen_Administrator's Powers do not extend to Units-02 to 20. Range is Larger. Bandwidth is Smaller.]

Taylor's knees almost let out, and it was only Mars catching her that kept her up. "Oh, that's, okay, that's good."

{Affirmative. Unit-02 Serves the Primary Directive. Will Protect Host-Queen_Administrator. Eliminate False-Host-Queen_Administrator?}

"I think that might be for the best," Taylor said while turning back to her warped clone. Noelle had backed away from the naked caricature and was holding both hands near her mouth as if ashamed of what she'd done.

Something tickled in the back of Taylor's mind and she replayed what Unit Three had said. "Wait, she can't control you guys, but you didn't say anything about Unit One."

The vault started to rumble and the clone started to cackle. "He's coming. He's coming and he's going to burn you!"

***

Dragon was worried.

Actually, now that she had a few bytes of spare processing power, she knew that 'worried' wasn't quite the word that described the emotional state she could most closely empathize with.

Maybe anxious, bothered, concerned, distraught, edgy, fretful or a handful of other words would best describe her current state.

She couldn't quite pin the exact emotion and that just added more to the long list of things bothering her. She paused for a microsecond, trying to rewind the events of the day to find out exactly where and when and why she felt the way she did.

The morning had been routine. Her new software that kept track of Queen Administrator the same way she tracked the other Class-S threats was working a whole 20% of the time. Writing a script that just asked the Simurgh's PHO account what they were up to every half-hour instead of trying to track the girl via more traditional means was pure genius.

She had tried satellite imagery (the satellites always went off-course), street cameras (that always had bird feces on them at inopportune times), and high-flying unmanned drones (that had the uncanny tendency to get hit by swallows and, in one bizarre case, a coconut).

The rest of the day had been fairly quiet. A few posts on PHO showed Queen Administrator eating lunch with the Dallon sisters and the former supervillain Rune at an Italian restaurant. Dragon's attention had shifted to the presentation being held by Director Piggot.

Then every seismic alert system on the East Coast had twitched, a few alarms had gone off on the Rig, and someone posted a video of a shape-shifting building moving in the waters of the Bay that reportedly gave people headaches. She had set her moderation routines to cleaning the footage off the internet while keeping a copy to study at a later date.

She had been worried that something was going to attack the Bay, perhaps one of the other Endbringers that Queen Administrator had mentioned, or some over-eager parahuman that didn't get the memo that Brockton Bay was not to be messed with.

Then she caught sight of the frankly beautiful castle a kilometer out into the Bay and Queen Administrator and her friends walking and skipping towards its front gate on a bridge of what looked like ice.

She did a quick Google search of appropriate ways of meeting someone in a newly built domicile and then fired up her new Dragontech Mobile Bakery Mark Two and started baking a cake.

The plan was simple and had been drafted even before the communications from the directors of the PRT came in. She was going to visit Taylor, give her some cake, take some readings on her castle, and try to make sure the girl didn't get into any more trouble than usual.

Perhaps less trouble than usual.

She had dedicated a cycle to searching any laws that Taylor had broken today and adding them to the growing list.

To say that she was happy that Taylor greeted her with a hug would be an understatement. Before meeting Taylor there had been perhaps two people that she had grown fond of. Colin, the ever terse Tinker, Narwhal, who was always willing to listen, and now Taylor, who seemed to approach life with so much enthusiasm and good cheer that it warmed her core processor.

She knew that if Taylor ever found out about her less-than-human heritage that she would probably only think it was cool and would go right on being Dragon's... friend.

Then Taylor was replaced by a sand-filled Eidolon body pillow.

Her mind froze for a cycle and she needed a poke from Protocol Forty-Two 'Don't Panic' to start analysing the situation.

It took a half second to narrow down the list of possible culprits to a dozen, then a half second more to find the most likely candidate from that list. Two more seconds passed before she had more information about Francis 'Trickster' Krouse than was perhaps legally appropriate to have on hand.

"What just happened?" Amy Dallon asked.

"Fuck," was Cass's rather appropriate reaction.

Dragon, who was perhaps a little faster to react than most humans, was already doing everything she could to track Taylor down. She had also planted horrible things in Trickster's search history, locked down all his bank accounts, and modified his credit score until he wouldn't be able to get a loan for a scoop of ice cream. It was all perfectly legal of course. Kinda. She hadn't lied to Taylor when she said she could serve as a lawyer.

The AI snapped back to the moment. "Victoria," her still somewhat-synthetic voice said. "I need you to go to the address displayed on your phone. You'll find Director Piggot, the Protectorate, Wards, and most of your family there. Tell them that Taylor was taken."

"Got it!" Glory Girl said. She was off like a shot, heading towards the city even while pulling her phone out. She was holding the body pillow that Taylor had been switched with when she flew away, but Dragon didn't have the inclination or time to stop her.

"What about us?" Amy asked.

"Panacea, could you stay here?" Dragon asked. "If Taylor gets hurt having you ready to help her would be invaluable. Cass, I'm afraid we won't need your powers unless search and rescue is required."

The girl didn't seem disappointed in that. In fact, she just rolled her eyes at Dragon. "Man, you government types always forget the obvious," she said.

Dragon really, really wanted to tell her that it wasn't the time for her sass.

"Hey!" Cass screamed. "Simmy, Levi, where's your master at?"

Dragon's programming stuttered. She... really hadn't thought of that.

"Uh huh," Cass said as she watched the Simurgh mime in the air.

First, she made a gesture with five fingers, then the Endbringer flipped upside down before making waving motions with both hands. Her face screwed up in concentration and she flipped back around before shaping an 'O' with one hand, then inserting her other hand's index finger into it a few times.

Dragon had some of the world's best decoding, body language, and cryptographic systems trying to decipher the message.

"You... are taking the piss, aren't you?" Cass asked.

The Simurgh grinned and nodded.

Cass sighed. "Taylor's fine," she told Dragon. "Simmy might be a raging bitch but she wouldn't let Taylor get hurt. They have too much fun messing with people. She's probably giving whoever kidnapped her the time of his life and will be back in a few minutes wondering if we left her a slice of cake."

There was an explosion in the middle of the city.

You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

"Or not," Cass admitted.

***

Taylor stared at the Endbringer that had torn its way out of the ground. He was huge and dark and perhaps one of the most imposing living things she had ever seen. Black, obsidian-like horns grew out of his head around a single eye that glowed like a pit of molten lava while arms the size of semi-trailers plowed into the ground around them.

Taylor had to cut her inspection short as a rain of debris started to crash next to her. Cement and rebar thudded around her, what was left of the base she had been sequestered into falling apart as Behemoth rose.

"Kill them! Kill her!" Taylor's clone screamed.

Behemoth's voice rang into Taylor's head like the gentle tappings of a jackhammer being wielded by an angry Alexandria.

"No!" Taylor said. "Unit One, don't kill me. Actually, don't kill anyone."

Behemoth turned his one eye towards Taylor.

"Yes! I mean, no! Kill Taylor!" Taylor's evil clone said.

Taylor spared a glance off to the side. Mars and Noelle were nearby, both of them wide eyed and staring at the massive Endbringer in their midst. Meanwhile, the linoleum tiles around them were starting to peel and crack under the constant heat pouring off Behemoth.

She figured that Leviathan was keeping her cool, because otherwise she might have baked being so close to Unit One. "Don't listen to her. She's an evil clone!" Taylor said.

Behemoth's head was twitching from one Taylor to the other like a confused puppy.

"Hey, Noelle, how long do your clone thingies usually last? Um, I mean, do I have to buy a bunk bed now or something?"

Noelle made a noise that might have been an answer, but Taylor didn't speak squeak. Obviously, the girl was terrified, her every eye on the Endbringer towering above them.

"Oh, don't be afraid," Taylor said. "Look at him, he wouldn't hurt a kitten."

"No, no, let's not do that until Amy makes her crown." Taylor really wanted to pinch the bridge of her nose, or maybe just go home and eat some ice cream, but she had to deal with this. It was her duty as princess. "Okay, Behemoth, what do you want?"

"Yeah. Unit Two wants to play with water and follow his directives. He's like, um, a really focused boy with a hobby. And Simmy, uh, Unit Three, is more about being free and doing her own thing. Like a... well, like a rebellious teen."

[Smug.]

Behemoth accentuated the statement by banging a foot on the ground, sending a ripple through the earth that could probably be felt across the city.

"That's great!" Taylor said.

"You can help by killing her!" the clone said.

"That wouldn't help!" Taylor yelled before Behemoth did something she would regret. "Actually, you know what would help?" Taylor narrowed her eyes at her clone. At first, she'd wanted to befriend the girl, maybe get Amy to fix her a little, but she seemed really bent on the whole 'kill Taylor' thing. "Simmy, Levi, could you--" Taylor said, then waved at the clone.

Clone Taylor exploded.

Taylor stared at the bits of meat that had, seconds ago, looked a lot like her. "Uh," she said.

Mars went off to a corner where she could empty her stomach in peace.

"I meant, knock her out, or something."

{False-Host-Queen_Administrator was a Threat to Host-Queen_Administrator. Followed Primary Directive.}

[Apologies!]

"Oh, well, that was... something," Taylor said. "And here I wanted a sister."

[Can help!]

"Ah, well, I think one clone is enough," Taylor said.

[Mini-Host-Queen_Administrators? Excited! Will find Suitable Mate for Host-Queen_Adminstrator.]

Taylor hoped that everyone would think that it was Behemoth's killing field that was giving her face a healthy flush. "That, um, well." She coughed. "Anyway! Unit One, I'm sure we can find things that you can help with! And it won't even have to be every six months!"

"T-there are other ways of helping," Taylor said. "You could, um, warm people? And, maybe... uh." She tried to think of all the things Behemoth was good at. Mostly, those were burning people, frying people, stomping on people, stomping on cities, burning cities, and killing cities. She was starting to see a pattern. "Okay, wait, just... give me a whole minute, please?"

Taylor nodded at him, then pulled out her phone. She dialed Dragon's number, wondering why the Tinker hadn't called her yet. Then she noticed the seventy-eight missed calls and hundreds of messages. Feeling a little sheepish, Taylor dialed.

"Taylor!" Dragon's voice shouted from the line before it even rang once. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine!" Taylor said. "Um, mostly. I'm trying to convince Unit One, er, Behemoth, not to Endbringer-ify the city, and I could use your help. Also, hi, how are you?"

"I'm well, Taylor, much better now that I know you're safe. Your other friends are here with me. They're worried too."

"Great. So, about the helping thing?"

"Yes, of course. I've been looking online for ideas and, well, there aren't all that many ideas for what to do with a... helpful Behemoth, I'm afraid. Using him as a reactor or as an emergency responder are the only non-ludicrous ones."

"Emergency... that's a great idea! Hey, do you think the Protectorate would allow Behemoth in their ranks?" The more she thought about it the better it sounded.

"I think that that might not be the best idea. The Protectorate is part of the PRT, which in turn is part of the government of the United States. That would be like giving a single nation access to a very powerful weapon of mass destruction."

"Oh... well, that makes things more complicated."

"Uh, yeah, big guy, just, we're trying to see how you'd best be able to help."

Behemoth's one eye narrowed a little, then he looked out towards the city.

"No, see, burning down the city would probably be the opposite of what we want." Taylor frowned a bit. "So, uh, how are you helping now?"

"I could override that primary directive of yours, like I did for Unit Two and Unit Three?" Taylor held her phone a little closer. Sure, Dragon could only hear one side of the conversation, but she was smart, and probably one of the few adults Taylor was willing to trust with something so important.

"Oh, well, shucks."

"What's the primary directive?" Noelle asked, sounding very shy for a ten-foot-tall monster girl.

"It's the thing that tells them to go around and kill people every three months or so," Taylor explained. "My other friends were okay with me overriding that order and replacing it, but he, uh, thinks that he's being helpful, which is what he wants."

"He thinks that destroying millions of people is helpful?" Mars whispered.

Behemoth must have heard because he focused on her and the girl almost wilted under the gaze of his one eye.

"Well, I suppose you're helping someone," Taylor said. "But most of us would see, um, attacking cities every few months as the opposite of helping."

Taylor imitated a fish for a moment. Behemoth wanted to help, that much was very clear, but she had no idea how he could help anyone, and that was just sad. So far, her thoughts revolved around him keeping food warm and that might have been a task for a microwave and not a thirty-foot-tall city destroying machine.

She looked down at her hands, opening and closing them by her side while Behemoth's warmth played against her skin. At the rate they were going, she would develop a nice tan.

Taylor blinked.

"I know how you can help!"

"Dragon!"

"Yes Taylor?" Dragon replied.

"I need a loan to build a tanning house."

"What?" The response came at the same time from Mars, Noelle and Dragon, the three of them perfectly in synch.

"It makes perfect sense!" Taylor crowed. She skipped closer to Behemoth and over the mangled bone-bits of her clone. "Okay, so, you can do things with energy, right?"

"Yes, exactly. Unit One, I want to give you a new directive: burn people alive!"

***

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