In Which Director Piggot Educates the Uneducated
The Director looked over the group gathered in the conference room they'd rented. Every member of the local Protectorate, every single Ward--even Vista who was brought out of containment for the presentation--and even a few of the local parahumans.
New Wave, or at least most of them, were gathered at the back. Parian was knitting off to one side and a few of the unfortunates who had triggered when the Slaughterhouse Nine or Leviathan attacked were milling about looking rather foolish in their cheap costumes.
This meeting was done under the truce, so she politely pretended not to notice Oni Lee and Bakuda slipping into the back, or the members of Accord's group sitting in a straight-backed posture at the very front.
Piggot coughed into a closed fist. "Hello everyone. Please, find a seat; the presentation is about to begin."
There was a moment of shuffling and screeching of cheap folding chairs on linoleum tiles before everyone was organized and the room grew silent enough for the Director to continue. "I would like to thank you all for accepting our invitation. I know you probably all have a lot of questions and I hope we will get to them. But first, we will start with a small presentation."
Piggot walked to the back of a lectern placed just to the side of a canvas tarp. A Tinkertech projector flicked on, bathing the screen in bright lights for just a moment before a title card appeared.
-HOW TO NOT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE END OF HUMANITY-
-0-
-A PRESENTATION BY THE PARAHUMAN RESPONSE TEAM-
The letters were bold and square, the kind of thing not seen since the bomb scares of the Cold War. That was on purpose. The Thinkers the PRT had employed to design the presentation had devised it to be both informative and terrifying. This was just the first step.
Piggot palmed the little device that would allow her to change pages on the presentation. "We gathered you here to talk about the person who might be the single most dangerous parahuman on Earth Bet. Yes. Her current threat rating is greater than Scion's, or any one of the Endbringers. I am talking, of course, about Queen Administrator." She flicked a button with her thumb.
The screen behind her shifted. An image appeared of Queen Administrator in the old PRT Headquarters gift shop. She was smiling, her cheeks dimpled and eyes creased as she held up a pair of Legend-branded panties in front of the cape himself. He, on the other hand, had a look of amused horror on his recognizable visage.
The gathered capes laughed, some giggled, others scoffed.
"That, is Queen Administrator," the Director said. "She is a fifteen- to sixteen-year-old girl with a charming yet ditzy personality. She is friendly, helpful, honest, and usually willing to reason with those who approach her in a calm and rational manner."
The image changed again. This time it was a video with the kind of quality only Tinkertech could provide. The tiny Dragontech logo in the corner hinted at its origin. It looked like an idyllic scene atop a hill. Just a group of friends out for a picnic. Then the image stopped before the recognizable face of Bonesaw, a bit of cream stuck to the tip of her nose. It panned on to reveal Queen Administrator and Jack Slash, both of them smiling at each other a little ways down the hill.
The audio kicked in a moment later. The idle chatter of the others at the party was muted, allowing the audience to hear Jack Slash and Queen Administrator as if they were right there in the room.
"Mister Jack," Queen Administrator began. "You know, there are a lot of people that are really afraid of you. But I think they're a little bit more afraid of me and my friends."
"We do tr--"
"Shush, Mister Jack, I was talking. Your perspective really changes when you have a precog on your side. You start thinking more about what will be, rather than what is. Your little group have been doing a lot of bad things, Mister Jack. Now, who am I to tell you to stop? Still, it would be mighty nice if you stopped hurting good people and focused a little more on the... not so good people."
The Jack Slash on screen paused, looking as though he had lost his famous composure.
"And if we don't want to do that, little miss?"
"Then, perhaps it's time for your luck to turn, Mister Jack."
Queen Administrator started walking away and the audio feed picked up one last sentence before the video cut off. "Oh, and Mister Jack. If you ever step foot in my city again, I'll kill you."
The capes in the room weren't smiling any more.
"Queen Administrator is, simply put, not someone in your league," Piggot said. She almost enjoyed the growing apprehension in the eyes of those gathered before her. "She is the only non-hostile Class-S threat in North America. She occupies the same threat rank as The Sleeper, Nilbog and Glaistig Uaine. She is not affiliated with the Protectorate, PRT, Guild, or any other organization. The President of the United States has a signed declaration in the oval office stating that the city of Brockton Bay is to be surrendered to any sovereign nation with Queen Administrator at its head."
The room was silent now. That was what she had wanted. They were treating the girl as though she were just another parahuman. They had to learn to curb that response because it would get them all killed.
Piggot jammed her thumb on the button.
The screen made a satisfying click sound as it switched.
-QUESTIONNAIRE-
-0-
-WHAT DO YOU DO IF YOU ENCOUNTER QUEEN ADMINISTRATOR IN ANY
OF THESE SCENARIOS?-
Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings.
The screen flicked after a few seconds, just long enough for her audience to read the prompt. This time it was a cartoon rendering of Queen Administrator walking down the street, a smaller, cuter version of Leviathan trampling after her. It looked like something made in the 'Duck and Cover' era.
"We will be asking you a few simple questions, the answers to which will be provided in a multiple-choice style. This is not a test. It is a way of giving you an idea of what to expect from the PRT in terms of help in any given situation." Piggot pressed the button again.
The Queen Administrator on the screen paused before a building with the word 'Bank' above it in huge letters. She tilted her head, then a lightbulb appeared above her. The cartoon cape pointed at the building and her Endbringer gave it a comically telegraphed punch.
When the smoke cleared, the cartoon Queen Administrator hopped into the debris, then came out with a bag with a dollar sign on it.
The screen flashed to a new prompt with the actual question.
-While Out On Patrol, You Encounter QUEEN ADMINISTRATOR
Robbing A Bank.-
-What Do You Do?-
A - Attempt To Arrest her
B - Attempt To Stop Her
C - Steal Some Of The Money For Yourself
D - Ask Her If She Requires Aid Robbing The Establishment
The room devolved into snickers again as some of the less mature capes took in the prompt. Piggot had to suppress her own grin, though it was far from a humorous one.
-If You Answered A or B or C...-
-You Are Wrong.-
"The PRT," Piggot began, "does not want to anger Queen Administrator. Every month that passes where the Endbringers are under her control, every year, means literally millions of lives saved." She grinned like a dog when she saw the dawning comprehension on their faces. "You, no matter how important you think you are, are worth less than another Madison, or Newfoundland, or Switzerland."
The screen flickered again. This time, the cartoonish Queen Administrator was waving good-bye to her Endbringers before skipping along Main Street USA. People were smiling and waving at the cape as her likeness walked by.
Queen Administrator stopped by a cafe and found a seat, then a waiter appeared to take her order.
The animation paused and a new figure appeared from behind a bush just behind Queen Administrator. He was dressed in all black, with a big knife in his hand and a big bushy mustache on his face. He looked something like Jack Slash's stereotypical evil twin.
The cartoon figure raised the knife above Queen Administrator's unsuspecting back.
-This DASTARDLY VILLAIN Is About To Kill QUEEN ADMINISTRATOR.-
-What Will The Consequences Of His Actions Be?-
A - He Will Be Praised As A Hero
B - He Will Be Instantly Killed By One Of Her Endbringers
C - The Endbringers Will Now Serve Him
D - The World As We Know It Will End
Piggot waited for them to have time to think. "Our Thinkers predict, with 98 percent accuracy, that if Queen Administrator dies her Endbringers will revert to their previous behaviour. We do not know if they will rampage first, if they will go all out and destroy those that killed their new master. What we do know is that this is a possibility." She pointed towards the screen while pressing on her button.
The image changed to satellite imagery of the Atlantic Ocean before splitting apart. Half the screen showed the ocean from space; the other was a long distance shot of Queen Administrator talking with a clean-up crew.
"This was a few weeks ago. Until then we had a set of concrete numbers and information as to the power of each Endbringer. We obtained that information at the cost of hundreds of lives. Still, it allowed us to estimate the strength of each Endbringer."
On screen, Queen Administrator made a motion towards Leviathan and the Endbringer moved in what might have been a nod.
The other half showed a sudden motion in the ocean. The tiny hints of waves they could see from so high up stopped, then the currents across the Atlantic shifted. Suddenly, they were all rushing West. Piggot could actually see the water pulling back from the Western shores of Europe.
"That, is footage of the so-called 'Great Cleaning Tsunami.' Enough water was displaced to cover the entire continental United States and most of Canada. There was a small but noticeable shift in the planet's rotation. The year is now a few seconds shorter because Queen Administrator wanted the streets of her city power washed."
She pressed her thumb on the button again.
The screen switched to an animation of the same cartoon Queen Administrator holding a knife over a pentagram. There was a goat tied up in the centre of the circle and the Simurgh and Leviathan were visible off to the side.
-You Come Across This Scene, Where QUEEN ADMINISTRATOR Is Preparing To Sacrifice A Goat To an Elder God.-
-What Do You Say?-
A - You Are Under Arrest!
B - Why Are You Sacrificing A Goat To An Elder God?
C - Do You Need More Goats?
D - Can I Help You With That?
Piggot was about to click towards the next screen when the doors at the back of the room blasted open and a dishevelled Glory Girl flew in. She took in the dozens of capes staring at her, then looked right at the Director.
Maybe it was the panic in the girl's eyes, maybe it was the way she looked out of breath. Maybe it was the full-size body pillow with an under-dressed Eidolon clutched to her chest, but something told Piggot that somehow, this was Queen Administrator's fault.
"Someone just kidnapped Queen Administrator!"
***