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How to Kidnap your Princess
Weapons of mass gossip

Weapons of mass gossip

Aidan relaxed in the male side of the royal bath house. he was bathing together with Helios, Astromelicus and Lucien, each man in a corner of the ten-by-ten meter bath. It was a hectic day, but he had plenty lately. Back at the ruined lounge, after they finished talking, the group just sat there sulking and basking in the terrible mood of moldy secrets, useless fighting, and wounded hearts.

Until Helios showed up, excused himself and dragged Lucien by the nape. Not literally. The King looked like a father about to give his naughty son a grating, maybe because that was exactly what happened. Lucien returned all meek and quiet, but not apologetical. Aidan didn't care so long he kept his cool. Astromelicus fixed his arm and in a few days, it would be as good as new.

"Aidan." Called the King. "I talked to Astro and Claire. We will allow you to recruit those condemned to execution that are willing to submit to those experiments. But we will only pardon a fourth of the confiscated assets. Do you think you can really bring Lumina back and is Dawn okay with that?"

They couldn't leave the King in the dark for too long. A cover story was given to him by Astromelicus, in which the trauma of the assault was so big Lumina split her personality. They needed a new type of magic to restore Lumina's mind but it was dangerous to use it untested. After giving their guarantee that Dawn wanted to bring lumina back, the King conceded.

"Yes, on both counts. We could probably do it now, but it is her Highness we are talking about. It would be a fool's endeavor to take risks with the princess' precious life."

He pushed his irritation and anger aside. It was directed at the son, not the father. It was time to be diplomatic. If it weren't for his arm, he wouldn't even mind Lucien's outburst.

"Well spoken." The King laughed. "It soothes my mind to see you two so close again after all these years. You know, back then Alina and me, we were willing to marry you into the royal family if your parents allowed."

"You jest, your Majesty. While I can fight tooth and nail alongside Dawn, I don't think Lumina would give me the time of the day."

His biggest concern was not even success at resurrecting Lumina anymore. It was what the princess would do after she came back. But his countermeasure to her reaction would be distance. After they settled the issue with the otherworlder assassin raging in the countryside he'd resurrect Lumina and go back to Gohar escorting Pearl home. She will need support or the court will eat her alive despite what King Jett wants. The backlash would be enormous.

"Do you have anything to say to Aidan, Lucien?" Helios asked his son.

The prince was measuring his standing with his father but getting prompted like that got him by surprise. He spoke the first thing that came to mind. "Why didn't you fight back?"

"You didn't give me time to get a weapon. And I couldn't use my magic."

"Why not?" The prince asked, confident in his own magic resistance and skills.

"Because Underworld mages don't pull punches, young Prince. You should get to know your opponents before stepping on the battlefield. Aidan could've killed you before your sword even touched his arm." Astromelicus intervened. "Just so you don't sport any idiot thoughts about your own abilities, he overpowered a captain's runed armor with a single fire spell and you were unarmored."

Lucien raised an eyebrow but stopped to think about what the Archmage said. He asked Aidan, "Are you a dark mage?"

"My element is Underworld, that is true. But fortunately, the term 'dark mage' doesn't fall well with my current research. I'm not going around doing evil and recklessly raising undead hordes." Emphasis on the 'recklessly'.

"That is good, very good." Helios moved forward and placed a hand on the shoulder of each young man. Now I believe there is no grudge left from today or the past, right, Lucien and Aidan?"

"Yes, father. Sister herself said she didn't mind what Aidan did."

"Yes, your Majesty. My arm is fixed, I got some combat experience, no harm done except to the upholstery."

"You should call me Helios in private, Aidan. I'm glad you took after your mother's smarts, kid. I'd be afraid for my son's life if you had your father's temper. He really picked a bone too hard to chew this time."

"Yes, I'll do that, Helios. If I may ask, regarding the trade treaty with Gohar, did you give it any thought?"

"Of course. Please don't tell them but I want these girls to work hard on this proposal. It will be an invaluable experience for them. The commercial council meeting is in four days, Claire knows that. If it weren't for her, the realm would be in flames now." Helios got closer and asked with a low voice, "Say, Aidan. Do you think she resents me?"

For a moment Aidan thought he saw a coy King. Just his impression, he was sure of it. But his concern was genuine. "No. Claire doesn't resent you, Helios. But she was too concerned with Lumina and her job to even think about it, I think. Lumina is too much for a single person to handle. But Claire, she is one of the most level-headed people I know. If I may advise you, make time to show her your appreciation, dote on her even if she is bashful. She worked really hard on those reports."

Helios made sure Lucien would hear. "Yes, I'll do that. All of you did a good job with those reports, I'll make sure to praise your whole team and especially Claire. I only wished my other child were so useful as the girls." He glared at Lucien.

Leaving his returning unit behind, picking a fight over a petty reason, getting his heirloom weapon broken, fighting and losing to a girl, and whatever else was being blamed on the heir to the throne. Aidan disagreed with the 'fighting a girl' part of Lucien's conundrum, but he was too irked to make his point that there's no shame in fighting girls.

After all, that happened to him on a daily basis. Sometimes he won, sometimes he lost. After all, it was happening right now in the bathhouse next door.

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"Saaaay, Sora. How was your trip north? Exciting?" Cythrel asked the bashful young woman.

The four girls decided to take a bath together to update their gossip and they dragged Dawn with them. She thought it was strange but of the four only Claire still showed any problem baring her nude body before Dawn. She had seen enough naked Pearl for a lifetime during the restoration rituals. But Dawn didn't feel any awkwardness from Claire. Maybe because she was giving the handmaid-turned-princess a wide berth, she thought.

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So far they went on mostly bland subjects, like what happened at the academy during the week they were away. It was good practice for Dawn to behave like a girl.

However, Cythrel made her mission to get Sora to share the details of her love life with Aidan, Dawn being within earshot notwithstanding. The elf was hounding the beastkin for some time already.

"Yes, it was not bad. There were exciting moments and dull ones." She answered in an evasive way.

"Oh, shut up. Spill the beans, girl. Your trip was supposed to take four days, yet you took seven. What did you do in the other three days beside actual monster slaughter? Only the two of you?"

Sora wanted to run away, but she knew it would only make things worse. It would give them all the confirmation they wanted. The two princesses were hovering nearby without facing Sora, pretending to not care about the elf's inquiries, but it was obvious they were very curious about what happened during the trip. Beside actual monster slaughter, of course.

"What do you want to know?" Sora gave a pleading look at Dawn. The three-fourths girl only shook her head, mouthing 'don't speak' from afar.

Cythrel approached Sora with her best mischievous smirk on. "I want to know what kind of holy weapon Aidan has and if you two did any god-slaying during your trip. Beside actual deity slaughter."

"No comments." Sora moved away, the elf followed. Her noncommital answer was all but. Cythrel was certain from the other girl's reactions that they did a lot of god-slaying but she wanted the hows and whats.

The elf assumed a pleading tone, like a beggar asking for a bowl of soup. "Sora, please. We maidens need this little indulgence or we will just go crazy. We need the juicy details. Like if you fulfilled any long-dreamed fantasy with dear Aidan. Back at your home, in his bedroom at last, or..." She trailed off on purpose and gave Sora the doe eyes.

It was hard for Sora to keep her neutral face. She wanted to gossip a little, but Dawn was right within earshot and if she gave even a hint they would want the whole story. Cythrel knew she was getting close to breaking the other girl's resistance.

Sora pointed at the two princesses with their backs turned to them, making small talk about who was dating whom at the Academy. "Don't bundle Pearl and Claire in your kinks. They don't want to know."

Cythrel turned around to face the two princesses nearby, well within hearing range. Dawn was soaking in her corner, pretending to not care but worried Sora was going to give in.

"Really? Do you think that? They are just too bashful to admit they want to know. Even Dawn wants to know, though she thinks she knows but she doesn't."

"What?" Dawn and Sora exclaimed at the same time. She had to act after being called out and started to tread the water to cross the ridiculously large bath.

"See? None of them denied. Four out of four maidens want to know, so puh-lease tell. How was it? I'm not waiting a century to know."

"Not telling and it's final." Sora stopped evading and stood her ground.

"Not fair!" Cythrel pouted.

"What is this about waiting a century?" Dawn's voice came from right behind her.

"Nothin.."

Dawn pounced the elf, grabbing the little girl and dragging her away from Sora. "Gotcha."

Cythrel struggled to slip and Dawn had to squeeze her. Giving up on escaping, the elf decided to switch the target of her harassment.

"Help! Dawn is trying to smother me with ye royal bosoms." She wriggled her hands under Dawn's arms and squeezed hard.

Dawn became startled and self-conscious. She released the elf but held onto a wrist.

"We need to talk, Cythrel. We need to have a serious talk. You are in deep trouble for what you did to Lucien." Dawn told her with a serious tone, trying to change the subject.

Pearl and Claire picked up what was going to happen, what was not going to happen, and decided to join the scolding session.

Pearl was the first to come. She touched Cythrel's shoulder and caressed the elf's cheek with the back of her hand. "Yes, my dear. I have to agree with Dawn, you are in deep trouble. You did something very wrong." She added, with concern.

Claire only nodded. The three girls were surrounding Cythrel and all had a worried air.

"I did nothing wrong. What are the charges?" She stopped trying to pull away from Dawn and went on the defensive. They didn't seem to be joking.

"You assaulted a Royal. Everyone saw the candlestick." Dawn answered.

It was a grave accusation. The girls nodded to show agreement with Dawn. Cythrel paused to think and her smirk tapered off.

Now that she was all but forgotten, Sora silently slipped out of the bath. Her tail would take longer to dry than Dawn's hair. Yes, that would be the excuse she was going to use if someone asked.

"Oh, that? Well, I'm sorry for throwing a candlestick at your brother, Claire." She said apologetically. It was odd. She sounded really contrite.

The princess' eyes lit up. Cythrel was being considerate! "It is good that you understand..." Claire was saying before being cut off by the quite-not-sorry elf.

"Because what I really wanted to throw was a dagger, but you wouldn't let me get your hidden weapon." Cythrel blurted out, a little angry. She made accusatory eye contact with Claire, startling the princess.

Claire puffed and asked, annoyed and surprised. "Was that the reason you tried to get under my skirt in the middle of the fight? To get my dagger?"

Cythrel nodded fiercely. She raised a palm, "I swear I was not going for ye royal baby workshop. I just wanted to stab that idiot." She delivered, irritated.

"Cythrel, you know you shouldn't stab royals, right?" Pearl tried to ask with a motherly tone, but it came out half-annoyed, half-suspicious. "Or anyone else."

The elf sighed. "I reserve the right to stab any idiot that tries to murder my man for a petty motive. Or at least try."

Dawn did a double-take. "I beg your pardon? I'm not your man."

Cythrel opened a smile and squeezed Dawn's breast again. "Indeed." She giggled.

The three princesses glared at the little elf. She looked at the other girls and understood she went a little overboard. Cythrel sunk in the water until only her nose was above it and remained still.

"Lucien could ask for your head, Cythrel. It is well within his right." Pearl tried to explain.

"Blwoolfeet, fwe fwownt," She spoke under the water. Dawn pulled her up. "No, he won't," she repeated, serious. "He could ask, but then he would have to tell the reason and it would probably involve a trial because that is what you guys do in this country, the fight and its outcome would become public knowledge. I bet the damage to his pride would be bigger than to just live with the fact that a girl under a meter and a half ambushed him with decorative lighting."

They paused to process what she blurted. Her going from joking to deliberate to thoughtful happened so fast it was hard for the humans to follow the whims of the fair folk. After a while, Claire was the one to break the silence.

"I hate to admit but that makes sense." She commented. The tension lessened.

"And your brother is too honorable to just assassinate me." Cythrel completed. "So far that is the second good point I found out about him."

Pearl sighed. "I'll bite. Please tell us, what is the first good point?" She asked trying to hide her interest. At this point they were ready to take any joke Cythrel would throw their way.

"He's a hunk and I'd love to climb that mountain of muscle just once. I bet it is delightful to be led by that strong arm. Isn't it, Pearl?"

Pearl's mouth twitched. "Sorry? Why would I know?" She took a little bit of distance.

The elf was back into harassment mode, locked on her new target. "You two spent a good half hour alone in that balcony, what did you talk about?"

"Only platitudes," Pearl answered. Cythrel raised an 'oh, really? Doubt it.' eyebrow. "I won't play your game, Cythrel. Go bother Sora for morsels about her love life."

"Don't." Dawn quipped and looked around, noticing Sora was gone.

"Because obviously, morsels about Pearl's love life are off-limits. Duly noted." Cythrel commented, full of mirth. She remembered something, flinched, and pleaded before Pearl had time for a comeback. "Wait. I'm sorry. I went too far."

From her face, it was obvious to tell that Pearl was about to react really bad to the last line. The princess took a deep breath to calm herself. She smiled at the elf and relaxed. "Apologies accepted."

Pearl's love life was a subject more dangerous than a wild rhinorse herd stampede. She was supposed to marry either Shinji or Kazuya to rein in the otherworlders, but one died and the other was beyond salvation.

"Damn, Sora escaped," Claire noted.

"I told you we should be more aggressive!" Pearl retorted.

"What, you were scheming this as a group?" Dawn asked, surprised. The way the two averted their eyes proved everything.

Cythrel turned to the girl-not-girl and asked. "Saaaay, Dawn. How was their trip north? Exciting?"

All three turned to face Dawn and box her, curious faces abound. She would rather fight Lucien again.