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How to Kidnap your Princess
An Inside Job part 3: Crash Course I

An Inside Job part 3: Crash Course I

It happened too fast.

The students were dismissed right after the headmaster vanished in a poof of smoke and being good students with no more school duties, they left the academy grounds in droves. Aidan could not even find Sora before he was literally pushed by the crowd into the square next to the academy complex's gates. An abundance of food vendors and peddlers were advertising their wares and the colors of autumn painted the world in a pastel pallete. The harvest was good this year.

He was about to shout for Sora when he was approached by someone he would never fathom would come to have a friendly conversation with him. Her freaking Royal Highness Princess Lumina of Yutis. Yutis being both the name of the King's family and the country.

Like a good quasi-noble meeting his superior, Aidan bowed. He could've kneeled, but it was not the place. He also did not talk to the princess. It was her choice to address him or not, but he had to offer his non-verbal regards anyway.

"Student Aidan, congratulations on your original spell." The princess spoke with sincerity. Her voice was soft and kind, like princesses should be when granting laurels on heroes returning from battle.

The emotions inside Aidan were conflicted. As much as his outward demeanor looked like a bottomless pit, he was a fourteen year old boy on the verge of turning fifteen. One filled to the brim with puberty, indecision, worries about his future, lust and fear. It was an awkward pause with tons of observers where the princess had all the right to just walk away and make Aidan lose a lot of face, but she stood there waiting for an answer.

"Your Highness' words are wasted on this lowly one."

He finally spoke, his voice breaking and falling in the high notes before crashing back down. Puberty betrayed him with vengeance. He had not a single iota of mental power to control his teenage changing voice. He focused all his will to keep his eyes from watering without even being able to understand what emotion was taking over him. Rage, gratitude, joy, hatred were replacing each other too fast in the boy's heart. The humiliation of a semester of bullying for apparently no reason. The anger on how the other students treated Sora. The happiness of being praised by the princess of all people even though the person Lumina was rotten. And something else he would understand only years later.

"Arise, student Aidan. Although I can only disagree with the name of the spell, In all other aspects today your magic design surpassed mine."

Aidan lifted his head and found the princess beaming at him. Sincerely. It was too much for him, and the mental dam holding back the tears broke. Aidan cried. Gone was the rage. Gone was the hatred. In that moment, his magic was recognized by his rival. He could almost see the glimmer of hope in the princess' eyes.

"Thank you, Princess Lumina. I will never forget your kindness this day." He spoke from the heart. Claire was slightly disgusted at the crying boy, but it was a long time since she saw Lumina smiling like that.

Lumina recognized the true value of Aidan's spell. And indeed she felt like that spell was a buoy thrown at a drowning person. She felt hope to escape her predicament. That she disagreed with the title was because it was not a spell to 'Destroy Undead'. Almost any element can destroy undead in sufficient amounts. 'Transmute Undead to Money' was a more fitting title for the spell in her opinion. Given that the capital had a dungeon where mostly undead monsters spawned, it was a spell to make the country rich. Even her own spell was made greater by Aidan's. After all, it required a massive array of cores to power up and keep the ongoing healing effects. Ordinary army healers don't have four percent of Lumina's mana pool, after all.

Another point Lumina's analytical mind brought up is that her spell is wasteful. A directed heal is an order of magnitude more efficient than the mist. Aidan's spell condenses all the magic in the undead's body to strengthen the core and leaves nothing to waste. She could bet that even most of the mana the caster used on the spell was crystallizing inside the cores.

Her musings were interrupted by someone shouting.

"WATCH OUT! RAMPAGING RHINORSE!"

Too fast.

Too late a warning.

Lumina's smile turned into a silent scream of terror as she saw two Rhinorses running straight at them. Aidan's head seemed to turn in slow motion to look at where she was facing.

Lumina glanced to the side and Claire was oblivious of the rampaging critters. Her affinity to the lightning element increased her reaction time.

The rampaging beasts weren't making any sounds. Strange.

Lumina's mind raced. She conjured a gust of wind and blew Claire out of harm's way. It would be too hazardous to blow herself, but using her own orientation as an anchor, she could move Claire without hurting her.

Lumina turned to look at the rampaging beasts of burden and saw Aidan jumping to hug her.

"Stone Wall!"

Aidan pressed Lumina down on the ground and conjured a slightly curved sheet of solid stone that formed almost instantly around them like a seashell. Her only hope was that the boy's magic could resist a charge that could breach a castle wall. Rhinorses were used because one beast could pull almost tenfold what a horse can, albeit a little slower. Maybe they would just run over.

Her mind racing over useless information was stopped by the sound of stone cracking. Aidan began to cast spells one after another.

Suddenly a massive hoof broke the stone wall and came crashing into the hugging teenagers. Lumina lost consciousness.

All too fast.

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 Aidan woke up.

Pain was his friend.

Pain was his lover.

Pain was his tormentor, his torturer.

He screamed a sharp bone-chilling shrill.

Oblivion brought him away from pain.

 ---------------------------------------------------------------

Aidan woke up.

His skin burned.

His legs ached.

His arms ached.

he felt his throat dry.

Pain. His only hope was that the princess was better than him.

He screamed.

Oblivion embraced him.

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Aidan woke up.

The pain was almost unbearable, but he could muster enough strength to open an eye.

A stone ceiling greeted him. Polished stone. Fancy fresco painted on the ceiling.

His throat was dry. His whole body ached. So he still had a body.

"Water" he begged with a coarse, unrecognizable voice.

A priestess came into his field of view with a damp cloth and patted his mouth with a gentle caring voice.

Aidan could not undestand what she was saying under the buzz of the pain.

She waved her hand over his eyes and chanted some sort of spell. Or so he thought.

Oblivion dragged him back to safety.

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Aidan woke up.

He was in pain, but by now he was used to it.

He could feel his body was restrained.

He could feel his skin was bandaged.

He could barely feel his fingers and toes.

Good, I am not mutilated.

His body was chafed but that priestess was back with the merciful damp cloth.

Aidan tasted each drop of water that entered his mouth like it was a nectar from the gods, his tongue like sandpaper.

And he slept with the priestess' sleep spell.

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Aidan woke up. He looked up and saw not only the ceiling, but also the wall. It seems he was sitting. The priestess was resting next to him and at the mere moan she rose and proceeded to give him some water with the damp cloth.

"More" he pleaded.

"I am sorry. You cannot drink too much water or your insides will rot." She explained. Aidan felt hungry for the first time.

"Food?" He asked with a coarse voice.

"I'm sorry. Impossible."

"No problem. Thanks. Sleep, please."

Then again the sleep magic. Aidan embraced it.

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 Aidan woke up. The King was in the room, looking with him with concerned eyes.

"Your Majesty." He mumbled.

The king was on the verge of tears for a moment. Then he steeled himself and hit a clenched fist to his chest.

"I swear I am going to find the ones that attempted to murder you!"

A million thoughts swirled in Aidan's head. Someone was out to murder him?

For a few minutes he struggled to think what to say, but then some balding old man came in, talked and the King left with him.

His body felt strange. Like there are things both missing and added on.

The priestess treated him and he slept.

If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

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Aidan woke up. He was sitting and could not feel the bandages anymore. The restraints were gone too. His eyes swirled around and he found the priestess sitting in a corner of the room and by his side Claire.

Claire, the princess' handmaid of all people.

"Claire?" Aidan asked.

"Yes. Oh, I am so glad you are recovering and that you remember me. Be strong, please! I beseech you. My heart and my prayers are with you." The girl was crying.

Why was Claire crying for me, thought Aidan. He was a smart kid, but right now he was not able to play his best game. His mind felt muddled.

"Don't worry, Claire. Don't cry for the lowly me." His self-derision caused shock in the girl that was almost hugging him.

"What are you saying? You saved me in that plaza! I am only here unscathed because you saved THIS lowly me, your Highness!"

"Did I save you? I don't remember. I only remember jump..."

WAIT A SECOND - Aidan screamed inside his mind.

"You called me 'your Highness'?"

"Don't you remember? Oh, dear, what a cruel fate. You remember me, but don't remember who you are?"

"Who am I?" Aidan was sure he was Aidan, but there was a growing suspicion in him.

"You are Your Royal Highness Princess Lumina of Yutis."

Oh, damn it. Aidan mentally checked, but his downstairs definitely felt alien. His chest swollen. He moved a hand to pat his crotch but Claire intercepted it.

"Do you want to visit the potty, princess?"

Aidan screamed inside. He struggled, and the priestess put him to sleep.

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Aidan woke up. It was night.

He checked around, there was a blanket over his body. Or her body. It definitely didn't feel like his own body. Darting his eyes around, he found the very same priestess that was always with him... in the room sleeping over a mattress on the ground. A very thin mattress, something the otherworlder heroes brought to this world. A 'futon' it was called, he remembered. Practical, but uncomfortable. Typical otherworlder stuff.

Aidan carefully moved a hand underneath the blanket and touched his other arm. He'd be damned if he was to touch the princess somewhere else and then he would be questioned under a truth spell and his head would roll on the chopping block next. Gone were the muscles, gone were the hairs. A ridiculously soft and smooth skin was all he found. A thin, lithe arm. He brought his hand back and brushed something big, round and soft in front of him. Now that he realized, his right arm was already pressed over the princess' breasts, but he brushed a most sensitive spot underneath the nightgown.

Princesses wear fancy clothes even when they sleep, mused Aidan.

He pinched the nipples and couldn't help but make a soft moan. It was a bit of pain but a lot of pleasure. He felt something stir in his crotch but it was not the bulging pressure of his manhood rising. It was something deeper and lower, almost at the backside.

The priestess stirred and Aidan froze. He was getting horny in the princess' body because of the princess' body. After the priestess settled back to sleep, he moved a hand out of the blanket and touched his or her face. Features he didn't know by touch. Soft, delicate. He moved his hand up and a silky and long hair met his fingers. Even the hand was delicate. He pulled a strand of hair and curlled it around his finger. He could see the color of the princess' hair in the soft moonlight filtering in through the window.

Something stirred in the princess' body, and Aidan recognized the feeling.

"Priestess, wake up!" He commanded. Now that he could hear and talk better, it was indeed the voice of the princess, but it felt deeper. Like the princess was talking in a cave or something. Or with a very bad flu.

The priestess woke up and lifted herself next to the bed. With a wave of her hand the light spells in the room woke up. "What is it, your Highness?"

"I want to walk. Can I?"

"I'm afraid not. Your recovery was a miracle, but there is still a long way ahead, your Highness. You have been kept alive with ration potions all these months, your body is weak. I am delighted to see you awake. Do you want something else?"

Aidan thought. Of course. Dumb him. Ration potions were emergency sources of nutrition aventurers took with them. One potion could keep a man going for a whole day, but it lacked some nutrients. One that lived entirely on nutrition potions would soon lose all body fat and muscles. Lumina must be receiving the highest grade ones, given that she still had those soft breasts.

'What did I do to the princess, wretched me!' Aidan thought.

"There was a boy, my classmate, Aidan. He protected me from the rampaging Rhinorses and he is the reason I am alive now. What happened to the boy? Where is he?"

The priestess paused, but from her face it seemed she was picking what to say.

"The boy was even more injuried than your Highness. He didn't wake up although his body is healing without problems."

Aidan frowned and felt like the ground beneath him was disappearing. His body was EVEN MORE injuried than the princess'? How could it even be possible? How could they remain alive?

"Don't lie to me. How bad?"

The priestess was in panic. But she decided to tell her. "Too bad. The both of you suffered injuries enough to be fatal a hundred times. Even the bleeding should be enough to kill any living thing that was not a troll.

"But the boy is alive, right?"

"Yes. But it is bad. I don't know if he will ever wake up."

Aidan held back the tears. He forced a smile and looked in the eyes of the priestess. "Thank you."

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The days went by and Aidan was able to remain awake in the princess' body in bigger and bigger intervals. And he was introduced to the bitter taste of ration potions.

Ration potion was a kind of emergency measure for travelers and explorers. A single dose of the potion could keep a grown man going for a whole day without food or water or two days of only light activity. Since comatose people lacked a swallow reflex it was the only way to keep them fed.

The first meal was a soup that should be classified more as 'dirt water with spices' than a proper soup, but it had some flavor. It burned like warm coals inside the princess' stomach and Aidan liked it. He was pretty sure the soup was supposed to taste like shit but to him it was a blessing from heavens.

He could even stand up for a few moments. And after a few days of soup came the fateful day where he would have to use the chamber pot in the princess' body.

"Can't you just put me to sleep and then let nature run its course?"

"Don't be afraid, princess. It is natural. Now come, try to squat here. I am strong enough to hold you."

With the priestess' help, Aidan squatted over the chamber pot. He felt like his bladder was about to burst. He drank two full cups of water this week!

He felt something stir in his crotch. It definitely didn't feel like his manhood. He could feel some skin dangling but the weight of his balls was missing.

"Just relax and let it run." The priestess encouraged him.

Aidan relaxed and stopped holding it. And then it came. It just gushed out of somewhere very strange. With pressure, it sprayed everywhere. The priestess was smiling.

'Why was she smiling at this carnage'? He could feel it dripping on his thighs. Not his, the princess'. It was dripping on his/her butt.

Aidan hyperventilated. It is an odd thing but he realized that moment that his mind felt clouded all this time. It was not something he was prepared to. And the squirting waters would hit the dangling skin and make it flail giving him sensations he never imagined existed.

"Relax, everything is going just fine!" The priestess was watching the waterworks spectacle with mirth.

"Is it always this messy?" Aidan asked after the gush diminished into a drizzle.  "And I drank only two cups of water, should it be this much?"

The priestess gave Aidan a puzzled look. "Yes, your Highness, it was a healthy service. Don't worry about the droplets that sprayed out, I am going to clean everything up." She said with joy. Why was this priestess happy that he made this mess? And then she reached out and brought a handkerchief in front of Aidan.

"What is this for?"

"To wipe yourself, your Highness. You should do it yourself."

With a trembling hand, Aidan took the handkerchief and went down to wipe the princess. He patted lightly, but the feelings were there. He was made aware of the folds and places in the princess' body that he was unaware even existed.

And then the handkerchief touched somewhere it shouldn't, and Aidan screamed when he received an electrical shock.

The priestess blushed and put him to sleep with her magic.

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 Days became months and Aidan was taking a stroll in what he recognized now as the Royal Hospital in the kingdom capital. It must be late autumn by his reckoning. How long has he been in this hospital? How many years for it to be autumn already? The princess was in the royal family exclusive ward, one that the whole nation hoped to remain unused for the longest possible. The place was fancy.

 Aidan still loathed potty time. He was getting better at controlling things, but it also meant he was getting more aware of things he was not sure he should be. Those folds of skin that seemed endless and that electrical spot.

But today was a special day. Today he would go visit himself using the princess' body. He had a theory that the princess was inside his own body. Things could get messy if she suddenly wakes up and start spilling the beans. What would people do if they got the wrong impression and accused him of trying to steal the princess' body?

He was going to knock on the door but the priestess that was following him just barged in.

"Coming! Time for visits!" She announced.

"What visitor?" Aidan recognized Sora's voice. It was hoarse as if she was crying. He forced the princess' legs and also barged in the room.

"Sora! So good to see you!" Aidan hugged Sora.

"Your Highness!" The priestess shouted in terror. What was going on?

Sora was not only raised in Aidan's estate and received the same etiquette lessons that Aidan did, but she was also an ambassador of the squirrel tribe. She was suspicious but didn't react to the princess hugging her all of a sudden.

"Princess Lumina, I am deeply moved by your kindness, but I don't think this is either the time or the place." Sora said while gently pushing away the princess. Aidan was not letting her go.

"Sora, I missed you so much!" And by reflex Aidan moved his hand to scratch Sora's ears like he always did.

Sora yelped and pushed the princess away. If it were not for the priestess, Aidan would have crashed on the floor.

"Impudent fool, how dare you do this to the princess!" The priestess roared and was about to scream for the guards when aidan raised a hand right in front of her.

Doing his best 'Haughty Lumina' impression, Aidan talked to the priestess.

"Nothing happened. Do you understand that? Nothing. Happened. I am not angry at Lady Sora, and she did nothing to hurt me. Lady Sora and Lord Aidan are two very important people to me, and if anything bad happens to them I will be very upset. You don't want to see me very upset, do you, priestess?"

"No-no! Of course I would not dare to do anything that would make your Highness upset!" The priestesss was almost crying. What mess did she put herself in? What was the relationship between the princess and the beast-kin girl?

WAS IT FORBIDDEN LOVE? Something screamed inside the priestess. By the gods! A forbidden love beteween the human princess and a beastkin commoner!

"I know you are thinking something very rude right now!" Aidan fished. It was a line he heard girls doing several times in the novels he read, and given the unique opportunity he thought of using it.

"Ahhhh! I am sorry, your Highness! I swear to never reveal your forbidden..."

Aidan slapped the priestess. It was not his character, but something took over him that moment and made him slap her.

"There is no such thing. My heart is pure and knows love only for my father the King and the realm. Understand that?"

"What about your fianceé?" The priestess spoke aloud her mind, and immediately regretted. "Sorry, sorry, sorry!"

"I should send you to the stockades in isolation to make sure you won't run your tongue, woman." Aidan threatened the priestess, feeling a kind of indignation that was unusual to him. He also made a slip of his own at the end, but the priestess' wits were too numb to notice by then. But Sora did.

The squirrel-kin girl put herself between the other two female bodies in the room. She looked at the princess and pleaded. "Your Highness, let the priestess go. I am sure she will swear under all the gods on her soul to keep her mouth shut." Sora turned to face the priestess, "Because if she does run her mouth, the stockades will look like heaven." A killing intent flashed in the fierce eyes of the squirrel-kin.

Of the beastkin tribes, the squirrels and the rabbits are the most peaceful ones. The squirrels are diplomats and have a knack for logistics and commerce unmatched while the rabbits are messengers and scouts, matching an elf in archery. But they still have the 'heart of a beast' beating inside them.

The priestess made all the vows and promises she could think of and offered her progeny up to the twelfth generation up for sacrifice.

"Leave us. I do not wish to be disturbed until I open that door." Aiden shooed the priestess away.

"But your Highness, there is a man in the room!" The priestess pointed out. Because of one of these slips, one could question the princess' chastity. Aidan was having nothing of this nonsense.

"What are the odds of Lord Aidan waking up in the next hour?" Sora's ears perked up after Lumina's words.

"None, unfortunately." Only to droop down a the priestess' ones.

"Good. There is zero risk of Lumina being assaulted by a comatose boy. Now scram." And again Aidan made another slip.

The priestess went out promising to keep guard at the door so nobody could disturb the two of them. She was obviously still misunderstanding things.

Aidan glanced at Sora for quite a long time, a deep sadness welling up on him. He hugged her and cried a lot, mubmling almost incomprehensible stuff. He noted his mind felt still clouded, but a bit less. He was able to think clearer.

Sora was feeling odd because it was the princess hugging her again, but after all the clues and being the only person able to understand the incomprehensible mubling Aidan was making, put two and two together and patted the princess' head.

"Everything will be fine, Aidan. We will find a way out of this. Or at least how to put you back in your body."

"Yes, it is too strange to be in the princess' body." Aidan nodded, looking Sora in the eyes.

"One, two..." Sora started counting for no reason at all.

"Oh, frag! You figured me out!" Aidan yelped and released Sora.

"Well, duh. You are the only person that would scratch my ears like that, Aidan. And all the other telltale signs."

Aidan paused and replayed the scene in his mind. Yeah, he felt like he wanted to be trampled by a Rhinorse. Again. Except the pain and 'break all your bones and mess all your insides' thing.

"How's Skippy?" He asked to make some small talk. That dragon was very intelligent and could go invisible and breathe fire. There was no doubt in Aidan's mind that Skippy would be fine even though he can't feel the familiar link anymore.

"He is alright. Sometimes he comes visit but I can't let him inside. Wards and stuff. So he perches on the windowsill and stay there watching Aidan... you sleep."

"So, its bad huh?" Aidan asked about the situation glancing at himself. Both in the broad picture and regarding his physical body.

"The worse." Sora replied, her gaze moving from Aidan's body to the princess. "You broke bones I didn't even knew existed."

"Twice." he flicked a finger between both bodies. "I hope the princess is fine. Otherwise..."

"It will be a huge mess. Do you think she is..." Sora trailed off but the question had a double meaning. She tapped her head and her heart.

"Alive. And dormant inside my body. Otherwise it will get messy."

"It is already messy enough."

"Sora. I will need your help. People already think I am an evil mage, if word comes out that I am walking around inside the princess' body..."

Sora took a step forward and placed a finger on the princess' lips. "Say no more. Aidan, I am with you to the bitter end."

"Thank you."