Later that day, Dawn returned to the bedroom in the academy. Alone, she locked the door from the inside and activated all protection wards.
Dawn waited for a while and sighed. What would she discover in Lumina's diary? Would there be a clue to entice her to separate from Aidan? She sat at the vanity, opened the secret compartment and took the diary. With a mote of Sky mana, she unlocked it.
After Aidan was asleep, she took it to a chaise longue and laid comfortably to read. Opening the diary, she began to read the entries.
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Hello, new diary. I'm Lumina. I hope you keep my secrets well. My old diary disappeared, it is a shame.
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The tutor that is going to teach me the hero summoning ritual arrives tomorrow. I know it is my duty as a princess and I really look forward to seeing these heroes. And go on adventures. Explore exotic places, fight dangerous monsters, with me as their dependable healer. I look forward to summoning my own heroes.
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I had a dream, a handsome knight visited me in the gardens. He's named Dusk and we had a wonderful time. I feel so at ease with him.
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I have learned the terrible truth of hero summoning and I don't want to keep going. I talked to father, but he won't budge. 'The kingdom needs a princess that knows how to summon even if we won't ever cast that spell' he said. I can't believe it. One mistake during the summoning ritual and I am dead. And if I succeed I lose all my magic? My precious, dear magic? There must be another way.
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Now I know how to summon heroes. Great deal. The kingdom is safe because everyone is afraid of what I can do. To hell with them. The teacher even had the gall to tell me I could be one of the rare ones that summons an entire 'classroom'. I believe it is the collective of heroes. I'll never do it, of course.
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I dreamt of Dusk again. I can't believe how fast my heart raced. He came to me riding a stallion and invited me to go with him. I couldn't. I have my duties. He went away and my heart just broke. I woke up crying.
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The situation up north is dire. Yutis is surrounded by mountains and hard to cross hills, our trade routes have only so many places to cross. And the northern bastards are threatening to place blockades on our caravans.
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I got myself a fianceé. The worst possible, the heir of the same northern kingdom causing us trouble. Father told me it is necessary for the kingdom, how I have a responsibility to the people. The boy barely has a single hair in his face and he was already trying to lift my skirt. Telling me I belong to him. I'd rather die than become some man's toy.
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I need to find a way out of this engagement. This idiot whose name I refuse to write down is unbearable. And to make it worse, he is courting me in the gardens. Where everyone can keep an eye on us. I have to smile and giggle at every single inane joke he makes. I can't stand it.
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I cannot believe it. The guy is abusing the maids of my castle. I want to give him the punishment he deserves. At least he didn't try to make a move on my Claire. If he glances at my her I am going to kill him, diplomacy be damned.
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Finally. He left and went back home for winter. I cannot even eat because I want to throw up all the time. But if I look sick people will think I am pregnant. Why everyone in this castle is on a mission to make my life miserable? I am the princess, they should make me feel comfortable and happy, not unease, weary and paranoid.
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Once again, Dusk graced me with his presence in my dreams. We were in a tent in the middle of the desert. He offered me fresh fruits and we talked a lot. I think I'm in love with him. He held me there, amidst a myriad of cushions and we kissed. It felt so damn good I thought I was going to melt. I woke up thinking of Dusk. It felt like heaven.
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And the winter I hoped to spend reading my books and playing with Claire is ruined. I'll be locked with tutors the whole season studying. I have to learn the otherworlder's language and culture. For when I perform the ritual I am not going to. Hooray!
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Hero summoning is a dangerous endeavor. While the benefits often surpass the risks, the one to suffer the brunt of the danger is the princess performing the summon. At worst she ends up dead. At best she ends up married to some stranger, an otherworlder with no notion of reality and power to level a country. Become a slave to a powerful man often with perverted intent or a harem of stupid girls. The varying degrees of success in the middle is even less enticing. There is a price to power, one I am not willing to pay.
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The cases of Hero summoning gone wrong are awful. Sometimes the hero goes on a rampage right after the summon, crippling the princess and going on a self-righteous vengeful rampage destroying the country for no apparent reason and armed with an unnatural foresight. Sometimes he is discarded for being deemed worthless and was, in fact, a late bloomer, and it sides with the enemy causing ruin to the country. Or a whole group, or 'classroom' as they call themselves, come and one guy slips out, gets insanely powerful and overthrows the kingdom.
In all situations, when things go pear-shaped regarding hero summoning, the blame is always the princess' burden. Eww.
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I dreamt I was lost in a forest. It was dark, I was scared. I screamed for help and Dusk appeared on his horse to save me. He took me in his saddle and we went to a cabin up in the foothills. The view was fantastic. We drank tea next to the fireplace, sharing the same blanket. I kissed him and he held me like I was the most precious treasure in the world. Even as I write this I can feel his strong hands holding me. Dusk, please don't abandon me.
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I am in Calanthe, for princess Melissa's coming-of-age party. A lot of royals and aristocrats from neighboring countries came. I can't believe how boorish and mean these princesses are. I can't stand them. And they think that because I am one of the youngest ones invited they can peck on me as they will. Well, I'll show them nobody messes with Lumina.
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Are palace maids actually whores? Are royal castles whorehouses for the royals and nobles? Is it right for a guest to go around abusing the maids left and right? Why do they let him do that? Who is this guy?
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I found the identity of the guy that prowls around at night assaulting the maids. Yes, raping. I talked to the maids, none of them want to have anything to do with him, but they are afraid of him. Rot and ruin, the guy is using his position as a royal to impose himself on those girls. I am glad I didn't bring Claire with me.
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The princesses humiliated me in front of everyone. It is not my fault if I can't untie the napkin and I am sure they trapped the thing. It burst and spilled gravy everywhere. Well, I'll show them. Beginning with that bitch Melisssa and her fianceé. So lovey-dovey, let's see what she thinks of him when she finds out what he is doing with the maids.
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When receiving a drink from Melissa, one can always be sure it will be poisoned. And they call me noxious behind my back.
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I need to work on my villainess laugh. I won't go into the details, but both that guy and Melissa had what they deserved. It seems I am now persona non grata in Calanthe, but who cares? I won.
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I cried to sleep. Dusk came to my bedroom in my dream tonight. He sat next to me and we cuddled. He kissed me. Dusk is a man that would never hurt me, different from all others. I knew it was just a dream but it felt so real. It felt as if nothing in the world could hurt me in that space. I woke up wanting to spend more time with him. I just think of him and my mind goes crazy. I need him.
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I weep for the princesses of this world. The ones with great magical talent will be locked in a gilded cage, a threat to all other nations that she can summon otherworlders. The others will be given as bargaining chips to the highest bidder, usually a royal of another country or a major noble. And even among princesses, the bickering is intense. Always doublespeak, always trying to get the upper hand against one another. I am also guilty of playing this game, I have caused many a royal maiden to go almost bald. This is how I stop them from stomping on me. I stomp on them first. But it is tiresome.
Usually, when a royal house has more than one princess, the summoning ritual is strictly taught to only one of them. This is to avoid abuses with the summons. A 'You summon yours, I summon mine. We die. What about we don't do that? Let's be friends.' kind of thing. Being the only daughter of my father, of course, the 'honor' is mine. But I will never perform that wretched ritual or be given in marriage to some stupid stuck up prince from elsewhere.
I'd rather die.
My only hope is to prove my valor before that day comes.
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The man other people insist on calling my fianceé hurt me today. I cannot believe it. 'You belong to me,' he told me while trying to rip off my skirt. If Claire hadn't come with brother Lucien, I don't know what would've happened.
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I want to die. I really want to die, there is no hope for me. I got scolded for getting brother tangled in a fight with that slug. That I should behave. The nerve. Who do they think I am.
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I went to sleep several days trying to find him in my dreams. Dusk. My hero Dusk. Tonight I found him. I was locked in a dark damp cell wearing rags. He came riding a dragon this time. He took me to a castle on a mountain. Dusk is careful with me. Dusk cherishes me. To Dusk I would be an empress even if I were a peasant. Even now all that keeps me going is to close my eyes and feel his lips on mine. His hands on my waist.
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I got a vial of poison. It is hidden in the spatial rune below this note. If the worst scenario happens and he is about to lay his hands on me, I will drink it.
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I got father to agree on sending me to the royal academy. I will only take the magic course because I have absolutely no interest in swordplay, mounted combat, archery, and any other knightly arts. But I'll be living at the dorms and I'll finally be free from the nosy castle staff. Better yet, Claire is coming with me.
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Today I saw a dread sight, staining the beauty of our city. A boy entangled with a filthy beast. I don't know why but that sight made my wrath boil. I wanted to call the guards on that stupid couple at once. Claire stopped me. I'm glad she is with me to be the voice of reason. I love you, Claire.
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I discovered the identity of the beast loving boy I saw on a bridge the other day. He is a cadet in the academy, goes by the name of Aidan. The son of a baronet, since when they let that trash join the academy? I have to get him expelled.
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Today was the affinity examination. I already knew my affinities, but it was nice to learn the affinities of my classmates. And I cannot believe. The beast-lover is an Underworld mage. A dark mage, a necromancer. I have no choice. I need to take it to the headmaster.
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The realm is doomed. Ruined. Let the flames of perdition devour everything. The headmaster had the gall to scold me. Me! I am the princess of Yutis, the only thing that keeps our neighbors from invading us. And to think that the dark mage boy is the scion of the God-Slayer. What a joke. Isn't the God-Slayer the hero that saved the world killing the demon god? How can his bloodline be tarnished with an evil mage?
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I had the best idea ever. We need to design an original spell for our spellcraft class. I am going to craft a spell that will make our armies invincible. It will be called 'Healing Mist' and will heal soldiers as fast as they are brought in wounded, ready to bounce back to the battlefield.
It must work. If I can offer the realm something else to keep our enemies at bay, maybe father will dissolve my engagement. The thought of those slimy hands touching my skin, of having to lay down with that man is what motivates me.
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It has been months and Dusk has abandoned me. Please come back.
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Our spellcraft teacher, Mr. Yoshida - I think he has otherworlder blood in him - offered some private tutoring sessions to help improve my original spell. Great.
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When you stand on the summit of the tallest mountain, the world is beneath you. Your gaze reaches far and wide in a cloudless day and your outstretched hand touches all. The feeling is exhilarating. The place where you belong. Lofty, exalted, all eyes look up to meet yours yet they fail. With a wave of your hand, you can send an avalanche to crush the lowly ones. Being on the summit of the tallest mountain, wearing the Crown, is where I belong.
But I wasn't told that at the summit, nobody will be by your side. There I am alone. Everyone will aim and plot to get your place. And you will forever be assailed by a flesh-rending, bone-chilling wind. It hurts.
I should leave my heart behind if I want to keep my sanity. You betrayed me anyway...
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Tomorrow is the spellcraft final practical exam. I asked Mr. Yoshida about the other students' submissions and he was not enthusiastic, except for one. My karma, the dark beast-loving wizard. He apparently requested some undead to be brought from the dungeon underneath the city for testing. It seems his spell can kill the undead. The same thing a sword can do. Stupid.
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Dawn finished reading the diary and felt strange. She was sure there was some clue to what happened to them, but she couldn't focus, something was distracting her. It was some tingling feeling she was putting away to finish the book but some passages made her body shiver. She opened it again and went to the passages. The ones talking about this man in Lumina's dreams, Dusk.
She spent some time on the chaise longue with the diary and those lingering feelings resounding on the body she borrowed from Lumina. Strong feelings.
"Dusk." She whispered.
That body belonged to Dusk. Of that she was sure.