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How to Kidnap your Princess
An inside job part 1: Runaways

An inside job part 1: Runaways

The hem of their dresses brushed against the recently-fallen snow. One dress was fancy, another was practical and the last one was rustic. Beneath them three pairs of legs clad in tall winter boots carved deep footprints in the otherwise featureless plains. Deeper than they should, given the slender frame of the maidens that were fleeing their pursuers in the night, faint cresent moon shedding little light and twinking stars their only guide.

The cold bit into their flesh, some gusts entering their woolen clothes. The lead was a mage but was avoiding using magic for either light or heat. The trackers were hot in pursuit and using magic in the middle of nowhere would flare like a beacon for their senses.

"I still can't believe you put the princess in a basket full of dirty and bloody sheets." The maid complained.

They were kidnapping the princess. Well, technically the princess was walking on her own. It was a complicated situation.

"If I was forced to choose between the laundry cart or death. I'd take the laundry every single time." The one in fancy clothes answered.

They escaped the royal hospital inside the baskets of laundry taken to the river outside the capital for washing. The wagon leaves in the afternoon with the dirt laundry and returns in the morning with the clean and dry ones washed the day before. During the night they got out of their baskets and left carrying the unconscious body of a teenager boy and several bags with clothes and other essential items.

They got a huge headstart before the princess and the boy were found missing at the hospital. They ran an entire day and most of the night before the searchers got wind of their bearings.

"We should find somewhere to spend the rest of the night. Skippy did a good job hiding our tracks, I can't see the search party's torches." The lead girl said. "And I can't go much longer." She squeezed the boy's hand, tied to her own.

"Your Highness, I told you to leave him to me!" The maid complained once again. She came along to fulfill her duty of protecting and serving the princess. She tried to talk her master into giving up this fool's endeavour, but the princess has changed since the accident almost a year ago that got her and the young man hospitalized. She has... changed from how she was before and would've gone alone if pressured into not escaping. She could only fulfill her duty, follow the princess, and make sure she was healthy.

"I already said no. I will share the burden and it is better if I am touching him. Don't waste heat talking." Said the Princess.

"We should've left you behind." Hissed between her teeth the one with rustic clothes, a squirrel's tail topping over her head, squirrel ears, and auburn fur on her forearms matching her hair. This surreal situation was still a hard pill to swallow for her. She was a sworn servant of the noble house of the boy and came along to protect him as both of them planned to a week ago. Only the boy has never opened his eyes or regained consciousness since the accident that got the three accomplices into this whole mess almost a year ago. Four if you count the princess, but she never got the chance to talk to 'her royal Highness'.

"Stop squabbling, please! Look, there is a barn there. Let's get shelter inside. I'll use a bit of mana and warm us up. The princess chided the squirrel girl, shifting the boy's arms around her shoulders to better balance the weight. "I swear I'll leave you two behind if you keep this up. Give me a break, for crying out loud."

The princess only said it because she knew none of the other two girls would leave her behind or even let her be alone with the boy's body. She was still trying to cope with her new reality and being left alone was one thing she was afraid of.

"Sorry! Could you hold his legs? I want to scout the barn ahead." With a nod the squirrel-kin took the other leg releasing the maid to move ahead of the pack to check on their path. She drew a long dagger, dropped the leather bags she was carrying and nimbly took the lead.

After a few minutes she returned. "The barn looks clear. There is a cow, we might get some warm milk to drink. Let's go."

"At least Skippy got to catch up with us." The princess pointed at the housecat-sized dragon that was tasked with wiping their prints in the snow and to cause static in the ambient mana to hide their passing.

The dragon let out an annoyed roar, clearly resenting the task given to him. But he was smart enough to know what would happen to his unconscious master if these women were caught. Releasing a puff of hot smoke, he resigned himself to continue erasing the signs of their passing.

'I had no choice but flee. What they had in store for me would kill both of us,' thought the leader of this improbable band. Lifting her foot and pushing onwards, the princess made their way toward freedom.

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A week later they could rest a little bit easier. If the royal trackers were to find them, they would've done it by now. Skippy did a good job. They have reached a small hamlet near the kingdom's southeast border and rented a room in the only inn available. Staghorn it was called, and the lady owner was very kind with them, giving a discounted rate for four and not making any awkward questions about the sleeping boy. Even with her generosity they were bound to run out of coin soon especially given the costly potions they were feeding the unconscious boy, but the rest was needed. One week outdoors during winter strained them.

Currently the room was occupied by the princess and the boy, both of them underneath a blanket in the same bed. The princess was shamelessly hugging the young man and watching his scrawny face. She placed a hand on his cheek and found not an ounce of fat, only skin and bone.

"Too skinny. And she had to say 'Boys weight too much'," the regal runaway reminded herself of the princess' handmaid's complaints. "Speaking of which..."

She stopped her monologue and sat up on the bed glancing at the warm body at her side. Hearing footsteps outside the door, she fixed her clothes and pulled the blankets over the comatose teenager. She really needed to sleep next to the boy, it sped up the recovery for both of them, but the maid would be mad at this level of direct touch. She allowed only their feet tied together to keep the bare amount of physical contact. The little dragon and the squirrel-kin were out in the woods foraging and hunting. Bringing that critter into town would raise too many eyebrows and it was perfectly capable of hunting for both himself and the group.

They were saving up a good amount of coin eating what they could bring and trading the excess for meals at the inn. The ration potions they had to feed the boy with were very expensive. That it also helped keep their female bodies out of sight from the other inn patrons during the busy hours was also an unspoken bonus. The thought of being groped by a brute sent shivers down the princess' spine.

"Especially because it would put 'me' in trouble later." The princess spoke to herself.

A knock on the door stopped her from musing further. It was a mere courtesy as moments later the door was thrown open, and the handmaid came in with a towel and a couple of warm water buckets. "It is time for the princess' bath," she announced.

"Listen, Claire, I am perfectly capable of..." The girl's protest was interrupted by a fierce glare from the handmaiden.

"You are not to touch or look at her Highness Lumina's body, are we clear?" The princess' throat moved up and down as she swallowed dry. Nodding, she resigned herself.

"It is fine. Awkward, but fine." The princess' shoulders slumped.

"I would knock you unconscious for these proceedings if it would not harm the princess' body." Threatened the maid. "Now, let me tie the blindfold. Keep your arms spread out and don't move."

'Lumina' allowed the handmaid to undress and clean the princess' body. It was always an unpleasant experience for both of them. Ever since Claire learned of their... condition, she insisted in overseeing every single one of these situations where the princess' body could be exposed to the one currently in control of it. Steeling his wits, he couldn't not notice again how much the princess' body was too delicate and sensitive.

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"I hope you are satisfied. I was outside shopping for sundries and the town crier was announcing our bounty. You have been officially charged with the princess' kidnapping." Claire made a dramatic pause to let her words sink into the mind of the one inside the princess' body. "You are a wanted person. A hundred gold pieces for your capture alive and a the gallows once you are back at the capital." Another pause and she finished putting a bit more strength on the rag wiping the princess' body. "And they made me your accomplice. I have a twenty gold bounty on me, and five hundred for returning the princess safely. At least the bounty won't be paid if we are brought in badly hurt or dead. Stops the crazy ones from trying to collect it."

The princess yelped in pain from the harsh scrubbing. "Sorry, Claire." Lumina's voice was almost a whisper. "But we couldn't let them separete us. It would kill my body. And the princess..." It was unspoken. Since he was in the princess' body and his body was comatose, it would only be logical to figure out where the princess was.

But the bounties value spoke for the priorities of the crown. Get the princess back unharmed and the culprits alive to be made an example of.

"I know." Claire grimaced as she saw the princess' skin bruised where she scrubbed hard. The only silver lining was that the princess' kidnapper was the one to feel the pain. The only reason she agreed to this crazy kidnapping plan was the knowledge that killing the boy's body would probably be the end of the princess and that they cannot be separated by more than a few dozen meters before the princess' body would weaken. They are tethered to one another and even the court mage could not find why or how.

Claire finished washing the princess' body and patted it dry with the towel. When she touched the sore spot the muscles on the royal back clenched in pain and she muttered a muffled apology. It was to the princess not to that wretched body snatcher mage anyway.

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 It was a mix of complacency, weariness from spending a week traveling under the harsh winter and bad luck. The girls overstayed their welcome. Someone matched the 'hidden beauties of Staghorn inn' that almost never left their rooms with the party description. The knights arrived at the hamlet they were trying to lay low in for the last month. It was the dead of winter now, the coldest part and the girls had to move or be captured.

The weather was also very inviting for travel if you were a crazy person that had no money and confused the concepts of travel and suicide. Since none of the runaways had any money and they knew that suicide only meant travel if one placed the underworld in the same sentence, it was understandable that they had stayed that long in vain hopes of not being found.

The Kingdom had not dispatched riders to every settlement given the season and available man-power. However, enchanted winter wolf fur cloaks were relatively cheap and the enticing bounty in gold spoke louder. Dutiful soldiers of the realm rode against the snowstorms to search for the missing princess and to spread the news far and wide and soon after reaching the hamlet they were hiding in a greedy mob gathered in front of the inn making a ruckus. Whoever 'rescued' the princess was bound to a life of riches. The fact none of them had a sliver of disposition to share the bounty was what created the commotion that allowed the fugitives time to organize themselves and think of an escape plan.

The inn was empty save for the girls and the innkeeper. This small hamlet was chosen for not being in any trade route and for having no place of interest nearby. The only tenants for the last month were the girls, and the inkeeper, Mrs Anders made ends meet by serving food and drinks to the locals during the evening.

She offered the princess a chance to escape through a tunnel used by smugglers during the war two hundred years ago. Only the inkeeper knew of its existence. The girls packed up and gathered their luggage in the inn's common room.

"But as you can see, Mrs Anders, I was not kidnapped. I escaped an assassination attempt. It is all a conspiracy of some distraught nobles!" The princess told the innkeeper in a pleading tone. The boy was being carried downstairs by the squirrel-kin girl. Claire was laying aside the girl's traveling bags, shuffling some items back and forth to better distribute the weight.

The inn door was blocked by chairs and tables and was withstanding the occasional bashing but the crowd decided to stop fighting to ram on it. The windows' shutters were barred and the shouting outside was sending shivers up the spine of the four women currently gathered in the main hall.

"Yes, your Highness, I understand. It was a blessing to host one of such esteemed birth in my humble inn," the innkeeper reached her apron and took a coin pouch.. "Please accept this coin. I offer it with all my heart."

Reluctantly the princess' hands took the leather pouch with jiggling coins from the old woman's hands. In a spurt of the moment, she also reached out for the back of the innkeeper's head and pulled her in, kissing her temple.

"Thank you. Your decency is refreshing when so many we meet are lacking. I am sorry for hurting you, but we need to make clear you were not involved. Sora, please?"

The squirrel-kin lifted a clawed finger and approached the innkeeper. Claire raised an arm and stopped her.

"Wait. We can't outrun them. We won't make it with this much weight." The handmaiden pointed out.

"What then?" Lumina's eyes met hers. The fear of being caught by the mob was evident. "We need to go before they get wind of the smuggling tunnel."

Claire placed a hand on the princess' cheek. Her gaze was distant, like a bride sending her man to war. "Make an oath on your soul right now that you will protect the princess at any cost. Please!"

Without the occupant's knowledge, the tears in the face of the handmaiden was matched by the princess' eyes. "Lumina might be a haughty pain in the ass of a princess, but I am still a subject of Yutis. Of course I would do my best to keep her safe. Don't cry, Claire."

It was now the princess' hand on Claire's cheek. The two shared a touching moment there, holding each other's heads. Claire found herself thinking it was the real princess for a moment. In hindsight, there were moments when he behaved out of character for a boy in a maiden's body.

"Thank you for making me believe for just a moment that the princess was back. Now if you excuse me..." Claire took two steps back and made a beeline for the princess' bag. With great expertise she produced an embroidered silk dress, the same Lumina was wearing during the night they fled the hospital. Lumina's body current tenant made the princess' jaw drop when she saw the handmaid undress to her underwear right in front of them. Sora and the innkeeper were just silently watching.

Soon the dress was on Claire's body, along with a hooded cloak, white gloves and shoes. The realization of what she intended to do hit him and Lumina yelped. "No! You can't!"

"The princess' handmaid is trained to be a decoy. I am merely fulfilling my job." Suddenly Claire lifted the hood hiding her face and changed her voice and demeanor to match Lumina's.

"Claire, wait. Take a letter with you," Aidan interrupted. He took pen and paper from their writing supplies. He might be a fugitive, but he was still a mage. He would be caught naked but not without his writing implements.

Aidan fell into some sort of trance as he began writing the letter.

> Dear father, King Helius of Yutis,

>

>  

>

> I am terrible sorry for running away, but I could not bear the shame of becoming useless. Truth is, I never revealed to you that I became barren. I will be unable to give a heir to prince William. You can ask the healers and priests at the hospital. Not once during this year of recovery the moon-blood came to me. And now without magic, I am nothing.

>

> But I want to find out who I am. I set out on a Journey with trusted friends to find out the truth about me. To become something out of nothing. To still be someone worth of pride for my kingdom.

>

> I entrust this missive to Claire. May you be merciful to her on my behalf. She was only doing as I commanded. Please lift the bounty and don't send anyone looking for me.

>

>  

>

> I'll be always your ray of sunshine.

>

>  

>

> Love,

>

> Lumina.

Aidan sealed the letter with the princess' signet and used a minor sealing charm. It would have his mana signature, but he cared not. It was obvious with whom the princess escaped with. He handed the letter to Claire.

The handmaid took the letter. She watched Lumina write the letter. And to her wonder, it was the princess' handwriting. One more mystery for another day. She hid the letter in her dress.

"Now go. I will distract them with a promise of five hundred gold. Sora, do it now."

Sora nodded, approached the innkeeper, placed a clawed finger inside her mouth and scratched the inside of her cheek. Then she punched the innkeeper and shredded her dress, taking care to only make superficial scratches on the old woman's skin. With a smile, the innkeeper spat a glob of saliva and blood and remained on the floor.

Lumina took two bags, slinging one over each shoulder while Claire helped sora put on the third bag as a backpack and strap the boy's body on her back. They went to the inn kitchen and silently parted ways. Lumina and Sora went for the basement and Claire ran upstairs, jumping out of a window yelling.

After hearing the crowd run after the 'princess', Lumina opened a hidden trapdoor on the floor and the two girls descended.

The old smuggler tunnel was not used for centuries. The stale air, the dust and cobwebs dominated the scene. With a quick incantation, Lumina created a small flame floating a few meters in front of them and after exchanging a glance with her friend, they went down the tunnel. The flame floated up and down at her command, brushing and burning away the cobwebs while the sound of their steps echoed in the old tunnel.

After several hours down the tunnel Sora broke the silence. "Aidan, wait. I'm tired. You are too heavy." Even though the boy's body was a few kilograms lighter than the night they escaped the hospital.

It took almost a minute before he realized that Sora used his name for the first time in months. "Fine. The princess' body is not fit for carrying these heavy bags too." Aidan placed the bags against the wall, pulled Lumina's skirt closer to the back of her thighs and sat on them. He felt dazed. Lumina's physique has improved since Aidan took to training her body's muscles, but that 'frail princess' constitution was impossible to change, it seemed.

After tying Aidan and Lumina's feet together, Sora carefully placed Aidan's body down before sitting next to Lumina. Instinctively the princess' hands caressed the squirrel girl's ears and for a moment it felt like they were back to where it all started.

Weariness took over them and they slept there, side by side.

And Aidan remembered how it all started.