“Cinder can you go check the mail? Your sister said she was sending over a care package.” I caught the keys as Papi threw them at me. The cool metal bit into my hand and I rubbed at it to drive the chill away.

“When did she say that?”

“Last week, I think. You were at school when she called. She said college has been going well.” It was weird not having her around. I’d gotten used to her being home during the summer, and she’d left a few weeks ago. We only got to see her during holidays, since she was out of the state.

“Tell her to call me next time.” I stood up and went to put my shoes on. It’d been cloudy today, but at least Jen had kept her word and hadn’t looked at me during drama class at all. Not that she’d been doing so before. I’d also had to convince Abigail she didn’t need to pick me up from class like a guard with her charge.

Outside, the wind bit my cheek and when I looked up, I found the clouds in the distance were dark and heavy. It’d been a dry summer, and seeing the rain was a welcome change. There was no weather I enjoyed more than heavy rain and lightening storms.

Crossing the street, I arrived at the mailbox and collected everything in it. There was a small package on it. My sister’s messy cursive stared up at me, having our parents names scrawled on it, along with mine in the biggest writing. I closed and locked it, and nearly crashed into someone as I headed back.

“S-sorry!” I wheeled back, clutching the mail in my arms to make sure nothing spilled over.

The person laughed, and I knew the voice, “I guess we can say we’re even?”

Kade. I tried my best not to gap at him, realizing I’d come to think anything related to the ‘story’ would be within the grounds of Aster Academy and not out and about in town, let alone my own neighborhood. Seeing him in casual clothes only made him feel less real.

“…oh! I didn’t know you lived in the area.” And how would I have? He was the equivalent of a stranger.

“A street down. Thanks again for the other day.” I scooted out of his way, noting the key dangling in his hand.

“It’s fine! How’s your hand?” He raised it, and while there were a couple scabs left over, it was mostly healed up. “That’s good! I’m glad it ended up ok. I won’t bother you anymore, then.”

As I started to dart past him, I head him say, “Oh, wait a moment.”

“Y-yes?”

He paused for a moment, glancing away, “I should pay you back. For helping me and all.”

“No, no! Like I said, it’s fine. It wasn’t much.”

As I inched away from him again, he relented, “Alright. But if you think of anything, just let me know. Me and my friends normally hang out in the same place every morning.”

“Yeah. Yeah, sure.” Somehow managing to not outright run away from him, I got back home. I tossed all the mail on the table, only paying attention to the package that my sister had sent. On the table, my phone buzzed.

‘Rain :( can I come ovr?’

‘Yea’

‘:D’

Abigail spending the night at my house when it rained had become a common occurrence. She’d wrap herself in my blankets and wonder how I found it all so soothing, when it was nothing but noise and water. It ended in a heated debate about the best kind of weather.

“Abigail?” Papi peeked out from the kitchen.

“Yeah.”

“I’ll make extra then.”

I opened up the package, revealing all of it’s contents. There was a letter, mostly for my parents sake. Although she called and texted them once a week on the dot, she still wrote letters because she said writing helped with her stress. If I told her I was keeping a journal, she’d probably treat it like I was following in her footsteps. Besides the letter was a pack of stickers and a card with a list of movie and show recs for me, along with a second card that had her favorite recipe of the week. Lately she insisted baking was her passion, and she was going to drop out and go to culinary school instead.

Our parents had nearly had a heart attack.

A knock on the door indicated Abigail was here and I hopped up to let her in. She was already in pajamas, her long hair pulled into a French braid. As always, one of her plushies was tucked under her arm as she walked inside.

“My hair is so staticky from this weather.” She ran a hand through my hair. “Your hair is so short, it’s barely affected. Maybe I should cut mine all off.”

“Going on year three of you saying that.” She swatted at me as I ducked away and closed the door.

Papi called out a greeting from where he was in the kitchen and she flopped down on the couch, “Sorry for showing up last minute, Mr. Chávez!”

“You’re always welcome Abigail.”

I took a seat next to her, and she noticed the contents on the table, “Oooh, Big Sis sent her letter over, huh? What recipe is it this time? We should try to make it.” She reached for it, then paused. “Are you ok?”

“…? Do I look like something is wrong?”

She nodded without hesitation, “You’ve been acting strange since…since school started. Is there something going on? Is Jen still bothering you—”

“No!” I flushed and quickly lowered my voice. “No, everything’s fine. I’ve just been thinking a lot lately is all. Maybe too much.”

“You’ve always been an overthinker. This feels different.” There was no answer I could give her.

Instead, I just mumbled, “Could you…not do what you did the other day? With Jen.”

Her eyes widened, “Did I make you uncomfortable? I’m so sorry—”

“I’m just not good with confrontation.” I knew she meant no harm, but it was the only thing I could think of without saying anything about what was going on. I hated keeping this a secret, but I didn’t want to tell her. I didn’t even know if I could.

“No, I should have known. I dragged you along with me anyway, right? Even though you said no.” She lowered her head, and her baby hairs fell along her cheek. “I should be better at taking that for an answer.”

“It’s because you can’t stand her, right? Especially when she treats me or Nia bad.”

Her head fell against my shoulder, “You’ve always been good at making excuses for me, you know?”

“Well, I’ve known you a long time now. I think I know what your intentions are, even if they don’t always come out right.”

“It’s frustrating. I know I could be better, but I never really stop myself either.” She fell silent, and we sat there for a while. When I glanced over, I noticed her eyes had closed, and her arms had gone limp in her lap. I couldn’t tell if she’d fallen asleep or not, but I was careful not to make noise still.

I could be better, too. The thought rang in my head. Even though I decided to take Abigail’s place, I’d spent the past week and a half avoiding everything. It was easier to avoid then it was to confront. My people skills were almost non-existent, and I still couldn’t get over my hyper awareness of my goals.

If everyone failed the first time, maybe it was for this very reason. Exasperated by the idea this was their wish they were trying to pursue. Headmaster Gnight had asked if my wish had been the same as hers, and it was. A happy ending. A real one. And yet…

“Dinner’s ready.” Papi chuckled as I jumped, shaking Abigail off of me. She grumbled out protests as she raised her head and looked towards him. “Eat whenever, kids.”

“Thanks,” we echoed, and got up to eat.

//

“Pink or red.”

“For what?”

“Just pick.”

“…Pink.” The look Abigail tossed me couldn’t be less disappointed.

“You always choose the same color.” She sat on my bed, fishing out pink nail polish from my mini bag.

My small tv was on, playing a drama show I didn’t know the first thing about. Abigail had spent the night trying to fill me in on what was going on, and none of it stuck in my head.

As she stuck the wedges between her toes, I flopped on the bed, “You can choose any color you want.”

“Where’s the fun in that? I wanted a surprise.”

“But you said I always choose the same color.”

“And maybe you’ll surprise me one day.” Rain poured outside. It made the night outside exceptionally dark. I listened to it as it beat against the rough, the rumble of thunder coming through the walls every once in a while. Abigail had cranked up the volume as much as she was allowed, but it wasn’t enough to entirely drown it all out.

“…I think I’m going to sleep early.”

“Good night Princess.” I rolled over at her comment and closed my eyes. I wasn’t going to sleep. Not with the lights on and the tv playing. But it was nice to just lay here. If I laid there long enough, I’d at least fall into a state of half sleep.

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

Abigail shifted next to me, and I tried to ignore her. At some point, I must have almost drifted off because when I was aware again she wasn’t next to me. A bang echoed and I heard her swear. I shot up, looking towards where she was. My bag was in her hand and it looked like she’d been trying to put it into the closet. Scattered along the ground, was the journal I’d bought along with the book Headmaster Gnight had given me.

I scrambled to my feet as she said, “Sorry, sorry! Hope I didn’t wake up your parents.”

“It’s fine.” I didn’t even know what time it was or if they were asleep or not. She kneeled down and collected the items, her hand brushing over the book. It took all my willpower not to rip it away from her, like it had the ability to switch our places.

“Wow, this is super old.” She flipped it open and I collapsed beside her. “Where did you get this?”

“…It was a gift.”

She hummed in response, flipping to the first place, “Oooh, it’s a journal. Who was gifting you their dark secrets?”

“Well—”

“Let’s read it.” She cleared her throat, and I stayed like stone beside her, “March third, there’s romance in the air. All I wanted was for my wish to be granted and it feels like it’s finally happening. After all that wishing and hoping and pleading, I have a good feeling this time. School has just gotten out for spring break and I have time to make a plan of attack. I know they’ll notice me. I just know it. I hope the plan goes well and I succeed. I don’t know what will happen if it doesn’t.

“But then again, I know I have to stay within the confines that they want me to. After all, they could take everything away from me. I’m not sure what’ll happen if I don’t follow their orders. But it’s fine. This is what I want, it’s always been what I want. I’m just glad they gave me this chance.

“Like a job. This is like a job. It’s just like that. I’ve never had one of those before, I’m far too young. Too young to daydream about romantics too, according to my ma. But maybe it’ll be like this when I’m older, or maybe worse. Ma hates customers a lot and I don’t think this is the kind of job with customers.

“So for now, I’m going to write in this journal and figure out what I want to do and how to go about it. My wish is dangling right in front of me. I just have to reach out and grab it, as they say!

“March tenth, it’s time for the plan. I hope everything goes well. I know I have all the time in the world, but it feels like I don’t. I need to do this right away. Or else I’ll be stuck here forever. I don’t have much time to write, but know I’ll report back right away once I figure things out. Until next time!

“March—”

“Abigail, stop.” She did, and I took the book away from her. She didn’t try to stop me.

“Do you know what she was writing about? I’m not sure I understood a word of that.” I did. Someone made a wish and the Headmaster had gone ahead and agreed to grant it. They were in a situation similar to mine. Whoever this nameless person was, they were like me.

I placed it on top of the journal, “No idea. It was just kind of given to me, but I feel like…I invaded someone’s privacy.”

Why had the Headmaster given it to me? It might be because it would have some pointers in there. A sort of ‘learn from other’s mistakes’ kind of thing. I didn’t want to read it, though. The writer had sounded so much younger than me. Optimism and hope had oozed through every word. Abigail watched me, remaining seated on the floor. Her nail polish had already dried, and I wonder how long I’d drifted off for.

“…We should head to bed. We have school in the morning.” I paused, stunned she dropped it so easily. She picked herself up and turned off the tv. I quickly closed my closet door and clambered in next to her.

I wanted something else to say, but there were no words. We both stayed quiet, and the rain continued outside.

//

Although Abigail carried on as she always did, I felt off the rest of the next day. If she noticed, she didn’t comment. Nia had spared glances at me the whole time during lunch, but I’d avoided eye contact. I felt like a bad person, hiding things from them.

Fox offered me no such grace during last period. As the rain sputtered outside, a lot less severe than it’d been at night, he kept poking my shoulder in an attempt to get my attention. I spun around the minute the teacher sent us off to do our assignment, knocking away his hand.

“Please stop.”

He held up his hands, as though he were innocent, “You somehow look worse today. I was worried.”

“There’s no reason for you to worry about me.” He only tilted his head, and I turned around ready to go back to ignoring him.

“How are you on the assignment?” I tried my best not to look down at the paper, already knowing I had no idea what it was I’d be looking at. The lesson had gone by so fast, and I had been too distracted to fully pay attention.

I turned back around, setting my notebook and assignment on his desk, “…Can you help me again?”

Victory lit up his expression, and I only ducked my head. He was so weird for being happy about playing tutor. At least he was good at it, and for most of class, he stuck with just explaining things when I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to be doing. It lulled me into a false sense of security.

As we approached the last few questions on the sheet, he started, “We should go to the library after school.”

“…Why?” He shrugged, continuing what he was doing without looking up at me. His dark bangs were covering most of his face at this angle, and I couldn’t make out what expression he was wearing. “I don’t have much else to do, I guess.”

After last night, I didn’t want to walk with Abigail anyway. If she could act normal, I should have been able to do the same. But she wasn’t the one hiding something this time.

My pencil stilled, “…Hey, do you know who the journal belonged to?”

“The one Headmaster gave you? Another one of his… ‘main characters.’ Did you actually read some of it?” He glanced up, and I glanced back down.

“Just the first entry, really. She sounded so…excited. For all this.” Abigail had been excited, too. “What am I doing…?”

“You’re doing it again.” I managed to dodge his pencil as he tried to tap my face. I was starting to see his antics coming. “Why did you do this?”

“For Abigail.”

“Exactly. You keep forgetting you both made the same wish. Tell yourself this is your story too, instead of continuing to run away from it.”

“…Sorry. Thanks.” He was right. I needed to stop thinking. Everyone told me so. I took a breath. “I guess I can go to the library.”

He grinned, before circling the question I had just finish solving, “Great. You did this entire problem wrong, by the way.”

I was going to die by pre-calc before I was going to die from anything else. As class winded down to an end, I couldn’t be happier to be free. We packed up our things and headed out. I texted Abigail to let her know I was going to be busy. I hoped it sounded normal.

“You still haven’t said why you wanted to go the library.”

“You’ll see when we get there.” My guard was back up, and Fox just patted my shoulder as he noticed. The library was pretty empty after school. There were a few kids sitting at a table, a study group in the making. The librarian was at her desk, reading a book of her own. It was mostly quiet, with only an undercurrent of whispers once in a while.

Fox headed straight towards the back and I hurried after him. He weaved through a few of the shelves, and then stopped at the edge of the aisle. I skimmed them, noting the variety of classics and old plays. When I opened my mouth to ask why we were here, he raised a finger to his lips and inclined his head.

I already didn’t like where this was going.

Voices were talking, and it was hard to make them out. But as I tuned in, I knew I recognized them, if only vaguely. I scooted away, and Fox touched my wrist, telling me to stay. I hated eavesdropping, and I’m sure things would go wrong if we were caught.

“—come back. At least think about it.” Kade’s voice was just above a whisper, coming from a place just behind the shelves.

“I have no interest in playing anymore.” Wells’ voice, just as emotionless as it had been during drama class. It seemed he really had quit soccer.

“It’s weird without you there. You were the only level-headed person on the team.”

There was a ruffling sound, before Wells responded, “That isn’t what this is about. If you hate playing, you should just drop out like I did.”

“But—”

Thunder sounded outside, drowning out what Kade had said. I strained to listen, but they’d gone quiet. I heard footsteps approaching where I was, and I froze. I reached out to grab Fox to go, but he’d vanished in an instant. That ability of his had to be the most annoying kind of magic.

I told myself not to trust him, and I hadn’t listened. This is where it got me. So I skimmed the shelves, and pretended like I hadn’t been listening in and was actually looking for a book for class. At least they’d had their conversation right next to the Classics section. It made any excuse marginally easier to believe.

Wells and Kade walked past where I was. I kept myself facing forward, hyperaware of their movements. Wells didn’t spare me a glance, but Kade’s steps slowed for a moment. As I pulled out a random book, I couldn’t stop myself from looking back at him.

“Cinder.” He said, surprise lacing his voice. Wells stopped as well, and I tried not to shrivel under their gaze.

“O-oh, hey. I wasn’t expecting to see you here.” I clutched the book to my chest like a shield.

“Another coincidence. How’re you?” Wells kept looking at me, and I kept trying to keep my focus on Kade.

“Fine, you?”

“Good. We were just heading out.” He smiled, and it look like he didn’t’ suspect a thing. I couldn’t help the wave of relief. “Were you done? Want to walk together?”

I immediately glanced towards Wells, as if I had a chance at reading him. My automatic response was to say ‘no,’ but then I remembered I’d told myself I’d stop running away. I swallowed, “Sure? If that’s ok?”

“Yeah, come on.” I checked out the book I didn’t need and shoved it into my bag. Wells and Kade hadn’t acknowledged each other after they ran into me. If I’d thought the atmosphere between me and Abigail had been awkward before, this was on a whole different level.

I did my best not to let it get to me. While I had no idea how to start a conversation with Kade, I decided to go for Wells. I was emotionally prepared for one word answers, “So! What are you hoping the winter play is going to be, Wells?”

“No preference.” He didn’t even look at me.

“You’re in drama too?” Kade sounded surprised.

“I do backstage things! I’m not good at acting, and I’m too nervous to stand in front of a crowd too, aha. But I like doing backstage work. Working on the props and costumes with everyone can be a lot of fun.”

“You’re good with your hands.” I quickly shook my head at Kade’s words.

“I’m really clumsy actually. I just like it because I get to do it with others.” With another futile attempt, I tried to get Wells to talk again. “Based on the exercises the other day, you’re acting skills are pretty good, Wells.”

“…Thanks.”

“Why’d you choose drama?” It was only after I asked the question that I realized it may be a landmine. Wells had quit soccer and rejoined the class, and Kade had been trying to convince him to rejoin just moments before.

Thankfully, the atmosphere didn’t shift, but it may have been because it was already so awkward, “It’s fun.”

We arrived at the front doors, and the rain outside had finally stopped. The clouds still covered the sky, although lighter than they had been before. Kade opened the door for both of us, and I scampered through as Wells waved me ahead. I wrapped my arms around myself, remembering I’d been so distracted this morning I’d forgotten a jacket.

“I’ll walk you home.” Kade offered, although we were going the same way regardless. I nodded, and Wells turned in the opposite direction, without offering a single goodbye.

I took a breath, “Bye Wells! I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He raised his hand in acknowledgement, and kept walking. I lingered, watching him go, before I finally turned away. Kade did the same, although it seemed harder for him to. I wondered what had happened between the two of them.

“Sorry, he’s always been like that.”

“How long have you two known each other?”

He paused to think, “Since middle school. We met in sixth grade when we both joined soccer, but we didn’t really become friends until a year later. He was always hard to talk to, since he didn’t talk in general.”

“Always quiet, huh…” A wind blew, pushing the chill into my arms. I wrapped them around myself, rubbing them in an attempt to keep warm.

Kade noticed, and he reached into his back, “Need a jacket?”

“N-no! It’s a short walk back, I’ll be fine.” He fished a black jacket out of his bag, anyway. After a second of hesitation, I took it and shrugged it on. It was at least two sizes too big for me, and the sleeves fell past the tips of my hands. “Thank you.”

“Of course, I wouldn’t want you cold.” He smiled, and I fiddled with the sleeves. I was once more at loss at what to say.

As I tried to fish for words, I noticed how much more relaxed he’d become. I hadn’t realized how much he’d been tensed until this moment, “Do you and Wells…not get along now?”

“Ahh, was it that obvious? Sorry if you were awkward during all of that.”

“It’s fine, I don’t mind.” It was partially my own fault for listening in on them, and mostly Fox’s fault for setting me up. I was going to really start ignoring him from now on. “I, um, hope things work out?”

“Yeah. Thanks.” He easily steered the conversation towards basic, pointless topics. It somehow reminded me of Abigail, except he wasn’t as rapid as she was, coaxing out answers from me before I even realized what he was doing. We had shifted from mostly strangers to vague acquaintances by the time we made it to our neighborhood.

I quickly shed the jacket, and offered it back to him, “Well, I’ll see you later, maybe?”

He collected it, “I’ll see you later for sure.”

The confidence made me pause, and he waved as he left. Without his jacket, my skin quickly grew cold again and it made me hurry home. I only looked back once, knowing I was at the starting line of this story once and for all.