Alicia finished packing. She set the luggage back by the lounge and bid all the staff farewell. Dania took it the hardest and made her triple-check that her mom wouldn’t abuse her again. Still, she kept her door open, offering her place to stay if she triple-checked wrong.
Alicia triple-checked.
Zack sat by her luggage bag, as robotic as the day she met him. Somehow, this hurt more. Dania gave her a hug.
“It’s okay, sayang, it happens to all of us. You’ll heal from this and come out stronger.” If she hadn’t said that, Alicia could’ve stopped herself from shedding tears.
“Go talk to him.” Dania insisted.
Sitting an arm’s length away, she said, “We can still call when I get my phone back, and I can visit—”
“You still wanna date me, and go long-distance. Are you sure?”
“It’s only an hour by MRT,” she mumbled.
“You still want to date?”
She scratched her head. Does she?
“Alicia… just go home. Don’t worry about me. I—It doesn’t matter. It’s fine. Just go, okay? Good luck.” She could see his shoulders tense. That, she learnt, was how he hid the pain. “And… I’m sorry. I’m an asshole.”
“So…” She rubbed her hands together, “We aren’t… dating anymore? I’m not your girlfriend anymore?”
“Of course not! Why would you wanna date me?”
“Oh. Okay.” This happened in the movies too. They called it a break-up. Makes sense, because she felt broken.
Chef Ahmad rushed out of the kitchen with a tupperware of biryani and passed it to her. He prepared it the second he learnt she was leaving. He promised her this would be the biryani that changed her mind on biryani forever.
Alicia doubted it.
“Bye.” She waved everyone goodbye.
“Mom… can you come pick me up? I want to go home.”
If Mom knew she lived with the junkies, Mom would die. So, she opted to meet her at the nearest MRT station instead; a ten-minute walk from here.
When Mom arrived half-an-hour later, Alicia was no longer cold. They rushed into each other’s arms and held each other. It was just them again. Sweat and tears drenched them both.
The memory of Mom reading her a medical textbook as a bedtime story came to mind. Any word with more than three syllables made her laugh.
“I love you,” Mom cried out.
“I love you too,” Alicia cried out.
Mom examined her like Dr Wang: was she hungry? Thirsty? Hurt anywhere? Feeling okay? Tired? Sick? Safe…
The examination moved onto her lifestyle: did she eat enough? What did she eat? Was it healthy? Did she come across any danger? Did she come across anyone dangerous? If so, did they threaten you? Did they demand things from you? What things? Your things, your money, or worse, your body? Did she drink…
“I’m fine.” She answered. That assured Mom for now.
Afterwards, they got in the car and drove back home. Mom had her music on, but she didn’t mind. In fact, this song was quite catchy.
When she had a million things to say, there was nothing she could say that would be enough; not even close. This perfectionism left her speechless.
So Mom started first. “Where did you stay all this time?”
The sixth sense tingled. “Um…” She looked out the window and saw, “A church. They took me in because they’re like… a charity place and stuff.”
“Oh, thank god you didn’t stay at those dirty motels! Surrounded by all those junkies!” Mom shed more tears. “I was so worried! Me and Wei Xiang searched everywhere!”
“I’m sorry for running away… and I’m sorry for stealing your money.” She looked at her shoes.
“It’s okay, I should’ve been more understanding and listened to you more, and I’m sorry for caning you. That was abuse. I will never cane you again.”
She nodded. A small part of her doubted this.
This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
Mom asked about the church. Luckily, Alicia needn’t lie much to keep her cover story intact: she worked at the church to earn her living.
Mom was impressed. “So you bought your own groceries? Cooked your own food?”
She nodded.
Akin to the breakup, Alicia broke all over again.
“My dear Alicia’s all grown up.” She ruffled her hair into a mess. Alicia left it messy for a while before retying it.
“This might sound like a weird question but… Did you see Zack?”
Again, the sixth sense tingled. “No.”
“Ah… okay. He’s missing too, and Cheryl is looking for him, but she’s a terrible mother!” Mom held the steering wheel in a death grip. “I hope she goes to jail!”
Alicia did too.
They reached home. The first thing she did was to reunite her plush toy with its family, and hug every single one. She wormed about in her bed like a silly dog as the soft mattress embraced her.
She would not miss the rock solid mattresses at Motel 91.
Mom left her to readjust while she informed everyone of the good news. Dr Wang insisted on coming over for dinner. The second thing she did was to fix her math textbook using tape. She returned everything back to her drawers, which fit.
She would not miss the tiny closet which Zack took up a half of.
The last thing she did was to find her phone. Mom broke the bad news: it broke. But she soon replaced it with good news: she’ll buy her a new one, alongside a laptop. She flapped her hands, but stopped herself before Mom could.
“No, no, it’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with it.” Mom flapped her hands, too. “Just maybe control it when you’re at formal events.”
She flapped her hands.
Dr Wang hugged her the moment he exited the lift. He, the actual doctor, scheduled an immediate check-up tomorrow to ensure her well-being. He brought over the herbs she liked to smell.
“What did you cook out there?” He whispered, “Don’t tell me you only ate instant noodles.”
“I added vegetables!” She protested.
Mom cooked wonton noodles. Yay! She wolfed it down, refusing to respond to what anyone said. But no one did. Conversation only returned after everyone finished their meals. They spent the night watching TV whilst interviewing her like journalists.
The most amusing question came from Carrie: did you meet any cute boys out there?
She answered no. Zack wasn’t cute, he was handsome.
After Dr Wang left, they went into Mom’s bedroom. Mom turned the air refresher on and patted the space next to her. Alicia crawled there and rested on Mom’s shoulder.
Then, they communicated.
“Alicia, do you really want to know what happened to your father?”
She nodded.
“Okay.” Mom took a breather. “I’ll tell you the real story, from beginning to end.”
She listened.
Mom gave a quick recap and continued where she left off.
After they ran away, Mom and Dad checked into Motel 91 (Alicia flinched at this). They begged and begged for the manager to spare mercy, and offered to work to earn their stay. At night, Dad explored the neighbourhood. He showed her what he found next morning. One day, the trivia he shared was a small packet of white powder.
The powder hooked them, as did the money they earned from selling it. Rent cost peanuts, as did food and water. They spent the rest of it shopping to their hearts’ content and buying more powder for next month.
Then, the prices dropped. Meanwhile, their demand for it rose. They used more powder than they sold and yielded lesser profits. Rent was expensive again. Dad blamed her for it and punished her in unspeakable ways. Mom refused to elaborate on this.
Dad also struck a partnership. A gang offered to take care of them if they helped them run ‘errands’. She begged him to reject it, but he didn’t. Not even the positive pregnancy test was enough to change his mind.
He ditched her for them and never looked back.
The motel manager caught wind of this, and kicked her out, taking a hardline stance against junkie scum. If not for Dr Wang, she would’ve died.
After Alicia had absorbed the news, she hugged Mom again. If she knew this, she would’ve never looked for him. That asshole. If he was her dad, then she didn’t want one.
She didn’t need one. Mom was enough. But she might have one, anyway.
“Alicia, there’s something else I want to talk to you about. Do you remember Jacob?”
“Your boyfriend?” She frowned.
“Alicia… it’s—I don’t know how to describe to you what it feels like to be single for forty years. But… it’s lonely, and I don’t want to be lonely anymore. Do you understand?”
“Yes.”
“I want to date again.”
She pulled away. “So Jacob is my new dad now?”
“No, he’s not. Not unless we get married.”
“And will you marry him?”
“Oh, I don’t know. I’ll have to see in a few years. But by then, you would know him pretty well, and so will I. And if I want to, I’ll talk to you about it, okay?”
“Okay, so what is Jacob to me now?”
“Your mother’s boyfriend. Is that okay?”
She sat on it for a while. Mom having a Zack in her life… (minus the almost slapping her part, presumably) That sounded amazing for her.
“Okay. You can date Jacob.”
“Thank you.”
Then, the break-up hit her. Zack’s not her boyfriend anymore. She’s not his girlfriend anymore. No more cuddling while sketching. No more long-winded rants about art. No more instant noodles cooked together.
He didn’t even know the history of tacos.
She wailed into Mom’s chest, knowing Mom knew nothing about the cause for these tears. Mom held her as if she had just been born. “Shh… It’s okay. It’s just the two of us. Even if the entire world hates you and gossips about you behind their back… You’ll have me.”
No matter what stood between them, she will always find her way back to Mom.
Mom was her magnet, and she was her paperclip. And neither of them would ever defy the laws of physics again.
“Is there anything you wanna talk about? Let me know, and we can talk about it tomorrow.” Mom asked.
“I want a diagnosis for autism.”
Alicia wept until she slept.