It took Alicia Liu Xin Yi only a period of English and five minutes of recess to finish her homework essay: ‘What are the pros and cons of social media?’ Everyone else wouldn’t stop complaining to Mr Yeo for an extension, and mourned the weekends they’d to waste completing it.
Once finished, she always stored them in her locker, alongside her files and textbooks of every subject except the ones she intended to study for at home. Until her form teacher, Mr Lee banned it for this reason: If everyone kept all their school materials at school, what would they use to revise back at home? The looming threat of their O’Levels, a national exam, weighed heavier than any textbooks ever would. Stop whining, start studying.
Alicia disagreed, seeing that her classmates would merely bring their materials home and not revise anyway, then forget to bring it back to school the next day, ironically leading them to study less. But, she still obeyed Mr Lee. Thank god he didn’t ban the storage of completed assignments.
And to no one’s surprise, only she obeyed Mr Lee.
It took her a good few minutes, fiddling with the stupid lock and jogging her memory over the password, then wondering if Vinn had messed with it to pick on her, before it finally clicked open.
With a sigh of relief, she retied her ponytail back to the exact center of her head.
But what she saw at the corner of her eye afterwards, made her gasp.
Vinn and his troupe of screaming monkeys loitered around the toilets. Fumes of their cigarettes polluted them and the air around them. Neither the school rules nor the laws mattered to them; they were too cool for that. So cool that they could break them in broad daylight.
Idiots.
“Hey! Smoking is against the rules, and the law! None of you are over the age of eighteen!” She shouted at them. With such carelessness, it was only a matter of time before they got caught. Right?
They looked at her the way the class looked at her, like she was a Spot the Difference puzzle on the highest difficulty: something was off, but they didn’t know what. Then they rolled their eyes and spat obscenities at her.
Monkeys.
“Fuck off.” Vinn, their de facto leader, was the first to attack.
“You’re not allowed to use foul language! Mr Lee said it leaves others with a bad impression of you.”
“Shut up!” Another followed, baring fists.
“There are CCTV cameras all over the place. If they caught you, you would be expelled and sent to jail! Stop smoking now!”
Out of childish spite, one of them blew a puff of smoke towards her. The venomous smell stung her nose like a wasp. She coughed, swatting it away with her hands.
“I’ll report you to Mr Lee! How do you think your mothers would feel if they knew about this?”
The monkeys slowly surrounded her, eyeing her like a careless tourist. Oh no.
“What about our father?” One asked. “Oh wait.”
Everyone laughed. But it wasn’t funny.
“That is not something you should laugh about.”
“How can I laugh about something that doesn’t exist?” The laughter continued.
“Go on, report me. I dare you.” His words cut the air like a knife.
The monkeys inched closer. She could pick up the equally vile deodorant wafting off their crumpled uniforms, littered with bits and pieces of… whatever that was. Food? Mud? Ash? The monkeys bared teeth, showed claws, screeched more of the unfunny she-doesn’t-have-a-father jokes.
She froze. Prayed for a teacher walking by to save her. None did.
“This is why no one likes you.” He dangled the cigarette pack over her face, snapped his fingers, and everyone left.
She unfroze, stuffed her worksheet in her locker and ran back to class.
Just as she did, she kicked something. Vinn dropped his cigarette and lighter behind when running away. It made her roll her eyes. He could’ve started a fire, making that the second dumbest fire that broke out in this school. The first was from a Secondary 5 student who tried to light his cigarette with a Bunsen burner.
What was so cool about smoking, anyway?
This question was rhetorical, and it typically ended here. She already knew the answer; it wasn’t. But today, she gave it a more critical analysis. Her school always had a bad rep for its debilitating smoking problem. No amount of assembly talks or detention could ever fix it. Whatever any teacher said, everyone still smoked.
It was like riding a rollercoaster: Finding their cigarettes, buying it, smoking it, then hiding it. She heard from the grapevine that one could bypass the smokelyzer test if they chewed lots of bubblegum (also against the law) and chugged lots of water. It was a group ride too, with most smokers dispersing into groups of four or five for collaboration.
Only Alicia resisted the peer pressure, rose above the delinquency and abstained. This was like sliding down sandpaper solo.
The research showed that cigarettes contained an addictive substance known as nicotine that kept the user hooked onto its taste and smell. But she doubted if that was the full answer. Nicotine didn’t explain why everyone liked smokers, but not her.
This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.
Perhaps she wouldn’t know unless she tried. One couldn’t hurt, she thought. She pulled a stick out of the pack and studied the ash inside.
Most articles reported on smoking discussed addictions that lasted several years, where it was already too late when they realized the error of their ways. Meanwhile, she would only smoke one. Yes, this was a common excuse used to deny a growing addiction, but the difference in her case was that she had no other chances besides this one. She had no idea how to find a cigarette, had no money to buy one, and had no lighter to light one, even if she wanted to. Hence, in her case, it wouldn’t be an excuse.
She locked herself in a bathroom stall and placed the cylinder in her mouth. It tasted like paper.
Was the solution under her nose this entire time?
Next, she used the lighter, pulling the little tab thingy on the side.
Flick! A spark ignited. Her fingers felt hot. She shrieked and dropped it on the floor, but nothing happened. She tried again (exerting more force), and again (exerting less force), and again (doing it rapidly), and at last, a flame appeared. If her memory didn’t fail her, the next step was to hover it over the opposite end of the cigarette, and smoke would come out of her mouth. Somehow.
Time to see what the fuss was all about.
Nothing happened. She exhaled. Nothing happened. She inhaled instead, and something happened. It tasted like what she imagined a cockroach would taste like. Her body purged the venom out with a series of violent coughs and gags.
Why would anyone like this?
Tossing both items away, she rushed to the toilet and ran her mouth against the water cooler. Usually, she hated the water coolers for its icy water, but was now grateful for the ice numbing the taste of the venom away. For a second, she expected herself to vomit. Luckily, she didn’t.
Swiftly, she left the bathroom and tossed the two items into the bin, letting out a strongly held breath. Tossing it in the toilet bowl would mess with the plumbing, and give the poor janitors more work to do.
Smoking was not the solution under her nose.
Then, she saw Mr Lee across the hall storming towards her. The sports shoe he wore made blood-curling squeaks against the floor, leaving papercuts in her eardrums.
“Alicia Liu Xin Yi, what did you just throw into the rubbish bin!” he thundered.
“A cigarette and a lighter.” Alicia answered. She stood upright with her hands behind her back. Escaping would be defiance. Lying would be defiance. Students should be honest about their wrongdoings and reflect on their mistakes.
“Where did you get them from?”
“Vinn left it behind after running away.”
“What were you doing with them?”
“I was smoking the cigarette, but I—”
“You understand that this is against the school rules, right?” He placed a hand on his hip.
The student should not talk back or make excuses for their wrongdoings when reprimanded by a teacher. They should listen and nod.
“How long have this been going on?”
“Um…” She did the math in her head. Starting from inspecting the items, to fumbling with the lighter, to tasting it (supposedly nicotine), to purging it out with water. Her best estimation was, “Three minutes?”
“Don’t lie.”
“I will not.”
“Why did you do it?” He sighed.
“I… I don’t know. I’m sorry Mr Lee! I will never do it again.” Her eyes and Mr Lee’s repelled.
“That’s good to hear. It’s okay to be curious, but we teachers warn you against this kind of stuff for a reason. Remember the Chemistry Lab incident?”
She nodded again.
“Follow me. I’m bringing you to Mr Xun’s office.”
“No, I promise I won’t do it again!”
“Alicia, you do know the consequences of smoking, right?”
“A disciplinary warning…”
Alicia hung her head low and scolded herself on the way there. It was a common excuse, and she now had used it too, despite knowing about it. That made it worse. Offenses for smoking were a disciplinary warning (get three and the student will be expelled), and up to two weeks of detention depending on severity. Worst of all, the students’ parents will be called.
It would disrupt Mom’s chaotic schedule and ruin her performance at work. With a less than stellar performance, Mom may get fired, and if she does, they will become homeless. It took her three minutes to put her entire livelihood at risk, and somehow that wasn’t the worst part.
How would Mom feel? It would hurt her to know her daughter was led astray, like her in the past, which she still paid the price for to this day. In three minutes, she had broken the sacred mother-daughter pact, sealed with the crossing of pinkies: Don’t end up like me.
Alicia wished that she could bargain with Mr Xun the principal, and offer him a full month of detention for leaving Mom uninformed. But she knew this was impossible. Bargaining was talking back, which was defiance, which was a second disciplinary warning. Mom’s heart would be less than ashes at that point.
Mr Xun’s office was in the staffroom on the ground floor, facing the canteen. It gave everyone a front-row seat to the next mischievous student’s trial. Today, that student was her. Mr Lee knocked on the glass, and Mr Xun led him in.
Within the staffroom, his office was all the way at the back past every teacher’s cubicle. Even they got a front-row seat. Mr Xun was old enough to be her grandfather, which was the typical age of principals, making him perfect for the job. Crossing his hands together, he listened as Mr Lee explained the incident. Once Mr Lee finished, he leaned back and thought for a while. In the meantime, Alicia examined the cabinet of rewards behind him; trophies, plaques, and certificates. This neighbourhood school did not deserve them.
He went over the dangers of smoking again, holding a private one-to-one assembly speech. Then, he broke the bad news to her, “I’m gonna have to give your mother a call.”
She could not disagree, as that was defiance. “Give me your mother’s number.”
“Don’t you already have this information recorded?”
“So it’s like that, huh? Okay.” He said and called Mom. As expected, he already had her number. So why did he ask her for it?
He only offered Mom the headline, “Mrs Liu? I’m calling to inform you that we caught your daughter Alicia smoking a cigarette today. Could you please come down to settle this matter? Okay, thank you Mrs Liu.”
“Your mother is on her way here. In the meantime, while we wait for her, I suggest you take this time to reflect on your actions, and think about how you’re gonna explain this to your mother.”
The room fell into pin-drop silence. Mr Lee stared at her. Mr Xun stared at her. Alicia stared at her shoes. Two magnets repelled her eyes in this room.
In thirty minutes, Mom would join them and stare at her too (three magnets). In forty-five minutes, Mom would make her bow her head down like they were praying in a temple. In an hour, she would disappoint Mom again.