Nicole opened her eyes. She realized as she began to move that she was cuffed to a chair. The familiar scent of Kraken lumbering about: Cigar and what she assumed bear musk to smell like.

“Welcome home Nicole.” He said darkly. She squinted and tried to shake off the dream she was clearly having.

“You’re dead.” She said bluntly, confused by his presence.”

“We both are.” He yawned.

I don’t understand, I saw you die, Vinn ripped your head off and threw it across the arena, and you’re dead.” She repeated.

“Correct. And you drowned in the tunnels.”

“No, I swam out.” She insisted automatically.

“Because your Zombie fish genes activated and saved you, and you could breathe underwater, you’re damn near unkillable. How convenient. But that was another you, and the headless Kraken you saw was another me. We’re both copies, and neither of us exists.” He said circling the chair.

“You’re insane, but how are you alive?”

“You’re not listening little Nicole. Think hard and pay attention to what I tell you. Gizzy runs human experiments, and sometimes humans die. Sometimes even Osirians die and they just clone them back, wipe their memory and they never know, unless you wanted to. She plays God like a video game with savepoints. You understand games, Nicole. When you die in a game, you don’t just lose the game. You restart at your last savepoint. Gizzy has everyone she loves saved and backed up, and all of her important test subject like you…and apparently me.” He growled.

“You were just a pawn.”

“No I was the perfect scapegoat villain. She chose me out of everyone because I was perfect for a complicated role, just like you were. A very extensive plan to shift the council and save the colony, for the greater good of course. You think she would even consider letting either of us die before the plan was over? Gizzy doesn’t play games she can lose, she plays games she can replay till she wins. All your friends, Vinn, herself, all backed up and stored in jars so if anything goes wrong, she just loses some progress and restarts the level; fresh clone in a jar ready to at a moment’s notice. If Vinn had died in that fight, she would have just cloned him back. Gizzy does not lose, but you see the problem is that this cheating creates a paradox:

An exact copy is an exact copy, regardless of who was the original, the fact that you have no idea is proof of that, The fact that Gizzy, a ninth or tenth generation copy of a copy is still very much herself is further proof. Everything is perfect as long as one perfect copy walks around freely and another floats silently in a tank in the lower floors. One asleep one awake, the one awake dies, the sleeping one takes it’s place, and the tank grows another backup automatically, clicking the counter up, the newest clone slumbering away in stasis for the next time a plan goes to shit. She really is brilliant, but she is not omnipotent, nor is she all loving. Gizzy is a selfish god who is happy as long as 1 copy of her pets are still alive and well to entertain her, and remind her that she is a loving god. But she doesn’t care about the ones in the tanks, until the one upstairs gets killed.” He sighed sadly.

“What’s your point? Gizzy is maniacal and power crazed, I’m shocked and hurt to the core by this.” She said sarcastically. “But I didn’t die, and why would she bring you back, and why am I here?”

“She didn’t bring me back. Once Vinn tore my damn head off, I was no longer useful and the clone was supposed to be terminated and disposed of. Down the body incinerator. Someone let me out. I also have friends in high places, Nicole. My cockiness is confidence, not arrogance. Your DNA is the key to so many medical miracles it’s unreal, you think someone else close to Gizzy didn’t want you for testing? I played my part for a price, and it was a very good price, I simply risk my life, and if I die in the arena, my copy would be saved from the disposal and I would be rewarded with a truly disgusting amount of money. And they get you. Of course I can never show my face on Delmar M44, like you said, everyone saw me die in the arena, and most Delmarians believe a clone has no soul.” He puffed solemnly.

“So you’re delivering me to your master?”

“Not anymore.” He sighed. “I cant.”

“If clones have no soul, then why risk it?”

“I never thought Vinn could actually kill me, and boy was I arrogant for thinking that. But I wanted that reward and I believed I was destined to win…and in a way…I was right, because here I am, and as a clone with no soul, let me assure you I don’t feel any less powerful. Whatever I am feels a lot like me, and if I’m not truly Kraken and I’m just some soulless drone, then doesn’t that make life even more precious? Either I shouldn’t be here, and I cheated God herself for one precious second chance to live, or destiny wanted me here, and I am whoever I should be.”

“Oh my god stop circling the question, why am I tied to a chair and where am I? Someone will be looking for me.” She threatened.

“No, they won’t. Your friends don’t even know you’re missing, because you’re not missing. Nicole you drowned before your evolution could take effect. The third and final time we were in the tunnels. Do you remember dying? Do you remember the moment before you died when you knew your life was over and you accepted it, and then miraculously you awoke from the grave, alive and breathing underwater?”

“How do you know that?” she asked, her heart sinking in her chest.

“Because I stayed and watched. I thought I hated you, and I thought staying to watch you die would be…closure, but it wasn’t. It was just…loss. They drained the corridor and scanned the body, copied your memory for the next clone and disposed of Nicole. Original Nicole is dead. Nicole from Earth died weeks ago, and nobody noticed. Nicole number two was given a higher dose of the recovery shot and placed in the tunnels, the tunnel was flooded again, and that time, you breathed. The Mence genes worked. Just like that, copy, paste, trim, edit, Nicole number two rises and saves the day. Nicole number 3, the backup began growing in the tank, part of an automated process. And when Kraken was an arrogant idiot who underestimated his opponent, he was killed for it. But I was supposed to die that day, so, Kraken number two was meant to be disposed of. So there I was, an unused backup, disposable and outdated. And someone open the tank and let me out, edited the records, and there I was, alive, reported dead. And there you were, Nicole number 3, the woman I watched die, just floating in a tank, sleeping peacefully. You were supposed to just float there, until of course Nicole number two fucked up and got herself killed or something. Then copy paste round 2, and around we go. So there I was feeling very conflicted with a lot of money owed to me, and you know what I realized?”

“You’re an undead asshole?”

“I realized I didn’t want the money, I wanted what I lost, I wanted to see you free, not taken as a slave, not what I was promised.

“Irony. You couldn’t let someone take me as a slave so you took me yourself. How fucking romantic. You backed out of the deal and you think I owe you now?

“Nicole I killed my boss so save you. You’re not my captive…I just need you tied up long enough to listen and understand. I stabbed the man who paid Kraken to sell you. I couldn’t do it. I broke you out, and the records were altered so nobody would find you and kill you to cover the mistake. Nicole 4 grew overnight to replace you, and she is identical in every way to Nicole 1 whose body was burned, Nicole 2 who lived happily ever after with the asshole who took my head, and Nicole 4 sleeps in a tank as intended, with a number 3 on her data record. You’re the real number 3, and you deserve to have a choice.

Nice to meet you number 3, I’m number 2. We’re both dead, we don’t exist, Nicole. Nobody is looking for us because nobody knows we even do exist except the man who let me out of the tank. The one who… died tragically, shortly afterward, the untraceable money vanished as well. How strangely convenient. The Irony is if that stupid fat son of a bitch wasn’t so superstitious, when I killed him, he would have just been cloned back and probably would have known exactly who killed him. But thankfully purists don’t want to be cloned, so there’s nobody after us.”

“You did all this…just to torture me?” she asked, a tear forming in the corner of her eye.

“No, to free you, Nicole. Think about it. You’re a brand new you, and I’m better then I ever was. I learned, I died and conquered that death. We both did, you just didn’t know it. That changes you Nicole. It makes you stronger, smarter, more paranoid…just like Gizzy with every new generation of clone. She comes back better, she comes back stronger, and so did we. But we can’t go back and take our places. They would kill me, permanently this time, and you would go home to find your Vinn with Nicole number 2 living her life thinking she’s Nicole number one and never knowing there’s a fully alive you, or a brain dead husk in a jar in Gizzy’s lab. We’re better than them, fresh, un-tethered and free. Nicole don’t cry.” He insisted. “Please do not cry.”

“You took my life away from me. I had a husband, friends, a house. I earned all of that, that was my life.”

“Gizzy took that away from you. Not me. I didn’t have you cloned. You’re not HIS Nicole, even the one he has in his arms isn’t his. She died for an experiment for ‘the greater good’ and she signed the consent papers allowing it, never understanding what she agreed to. Your life...is proceeding without you, and you’re still in it, unaware to everyone that we sit here now. What I took from you, the life I stole from you, was a life floating in a jar in a dark basement just in case the second Nicole dies, or a life as someone’s science project, and probably torture. If you truly want that back, there is a tube in the room behind you, go hop in and sleep for eternity. I myself want to live.”

“I can never see my friends again, I shouldn’t exist.” She whispered.

“Correct, because the careless god who made you to live in a jar cannot have you free and fucking up Nicole 2’s life. Gizzy took that away, not me. Kraken ruined your life too, and he died for it. I gave you a second chance, and the choice to live or go back to sleep. That’s all.” He explained.

“So you just gave me the red pill/blue pill choice? Thanks Morpheus.” She snipped.

“I don’t know your mythology, Nicole. But I watched you drowned once, I couldn’t leave you a second time. Your other replacement in that jar will do just fine if needed, she’ll never wake up unless a Nicole dies. She’s a shell. Be more than her.” Kraken grinned.

“What happened to you? You were so…evil. And stupid. I mean you’re still evil-ish but kind of…understandably evil?” he pondered.

This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

“I was a fool, Nicole. A purist, I believed in some divine afterlife and the lies my father’s father believed in: a warriors place in the underworld. By the purist laws, the strong take what they want and yet the new gods took what they wanted…our moon, and changed our laws. And then they poured out droves of tiny humans into it as their favored pets. I hated humans because they were less than us, the glorious and divine Delmarian, the perfect from created by the first gods. I’m a soldier Nicole, I was bred to kill, trained to kill, told I was a warrior for the empire and my death would get me into the afterlife as a hero.

Gizzy stopped my war, stole that glory and death from me, and left me without a reason to exist, then she plucked me out of the masses because I was the best trained soldier for the job, The most unhinged and dangerous pawn, a stupid purist who did terrible things for money, a bastard nobody would miss, and she let me die because I was just exactly that…because I was raised and trained to be that. I died because of what I was made to be, a monster, because war needs monsters. No more war, no purpose in having monsters anymore. Vinn was a better man because he was a shitty soldier. We’re all just born pawns Nicole. Brainwashed and trained because someone needs to fight and die for others to live. THAT was my glorious destiny, and when I died, there was nothing there but the dark. No glory, no afterlife, and no point. Kraken was a pawn, in a game that eats the pawns when they are done. You and I mean nothing to the gods. The old ones don’t exist, and the new ones don’t care. What Kraken did wasn’t just evil…it was wrong, sure, it was ignorant and mislead, and he paid for those sins with his life.” He said hanging his head in a sort of half respect. “But it was still horrible to those he wronged.”

“What are you?” Nicole puzzled and marveled.

“Whatever I want to be…just like you. You have nobody to hold you back, no reason to follow their rules. I shouldn’t pay for his sins any more then you should be disposed of for being a mistake. We’re better, enlightened, enhanced, and sadly at a cost. Those friends of yours that you will miss are not yours, your memories are just copies, the emotion is real but the past is a mirage on the water. They don’t miss you because you never left them, That’s not your Vinn that you miss right now, you are not the girl who drowned, nor the girl who survived and returned to them, and I’m not the misguided ignorant bastard who made her life hell. But you still miss them, and I still feel his guilt. Nobody misses Kraken. What he did to you was unfair, and what she experienced because of those actions, was torture and death. He got what he deserved, Gizzy got praised for it, and YOU, number 3, deserved better.”

“So why are you holding me hostage?”

“Because you wouldn’t listen otherwise, and unfortunately my options are limited and my creativity still rooted in the memory of someone who does better at tying knots than performing telepathy. You’re not a prisoner, not anymore. You’re just temporarily restricted until you’re awake enough to understand your choice. Wake up.”

“What choice? I have nowhere to go.” She sobbed.

“Yes you do…Earth Deep space, wherever you want but here. Her family is just as much your family too and she left them behind for you to miss.

“You’re offering to take me home?” she asked.

“I’m working on it. It’s more challenging than I thought and I don’t know the words to explain that mess to you, let alone in the state of shock you’re in. I don’t think I fully understand it myself, but I feel it. It’s the only place that is missing their Nicole, who never should have been taken in the first place. Of course you are free to choose to return to Delmar M44, and deal with that nightmare, or start a new life, with or without me. You are free. Chose what you want and I will do what I can to make it happen.”

“Why are you doing all this for me? You could have just…ran. Or left me in some hospital…to be scanned and then… deleted.” She said, realizing the outcome. “Why wake me up at all? Why bring me here and do all of this? Just to take me home?”

“Because I…care for you. And I don’t know what else I could have done. I couldn’t stand the idea of escaping without you, I had to think fast with a dead man on the ground and blood on my hands. I couldn’t stay behind. Nicole you’re…”

“Special…Different, yea I hear that a lot. Seems like every Delmarian man notices that and falls for me.” She said angrily.

“Only 2 of them have so far, don’t exaggerate. But is that so horrible? There’s two of you right now and two Delmarians who care for both.”

“You hate me, you tortured me.” She objected.

“Not even the original me hated you. He just followed orders and played the part well, because he was broken inside and hated all humans. The more Kraken got to know you, his hate for a whole species became a respect for one of them, and something grew. He tormented you…just like Gizzy did, just like Gizzy ordered him too, and just like you signed up for without really understanding your sacrifice. I understand perfectly if you despise me. I have the face of the monster that made your life hell, well, one of them.

He tried to kill your husband, while the other monster sat on her throne and received praise for it. But be honest…did you not feel any connection even during that horrible time? Did you not enjoy hating me and tormenting me back? Defying me, besting me every turn? The thrill of the game? You’re stronger than a human. Did you really go home and cry alone because the scary Kraken almost got you, or did you feel like a champion because you faced a monster and won. Look me in the eyes, because we both know by now we can tell when the other is bluffing, even though WE have never met until today…tell me honestly that you hated all of it? You signed up because you wanted fear and excitement, and I gave you both until you rose above it. Did I ever go too far? I had a list Nicole, a list of things you signed off on before the memory wipe.” he bragged borderline villainously. She pondered the question, her first instinct was to just say ‘fuck you’ and go into defense mode…but was he even on the attack or was he something else entirely?

“Part of me…hates you. And I don’t know why.”

“Because you have been wronged and you need someone to hate. The Delmarian who hurt you is dead, you had that satisfaction but you see his face now and it feels wrong. And the woman who orchestrated it is untouchable, and the one who kept going back into those tunnels was you, and she’s dead as well. You’re chasing ghosts for revenge because you deserve it…and there’s nobody to hate left except me.” He said removing a Delmarian prison control collar from the table drawer, clicking it around his neck and handing her the remote. “There’s no safety timer. You could crank it to ten and hold the button down until it kills me if you’d like. I would not advise it, because you would be alone, but on say, 7, a 30 second hold would just render me unconscious from the pain.” He said solemnly with a slight smirk. She turned the dial, looking for him to flinch or do something. He stone-face stared her down fearlessly.

“It’s gonna shock me somehow, punishment for my defiance or some shit?”

“Only one way to know.” He said.

She tapped the button. With a spark and a grunt, he dropped to his knees and her eyes widened.

“Oh fuck, you’re not kidding. It’s real.”

“Thank you.” He wheezed.

“For shocking you?”

“For turning it to 3 instead of ten.” He admitted, wheezing and gathering his wits.

“I wanted to know if you were bluffing, I didn’t wanna kill you. And in case it was a trap and the real one was like implanted in my spine or something…I wanted to figure it out rather then kill myself.” She knelt down and removed the collar, turning the dial to ten and holding it away from herself, tapping the button as 300 volts arced across the posts for a long burst. “That’s live! You were gonna let me kill you?” she asked.

“I was willing to believe you wouldn’t. I have very little left to have faith or belief in except you. I figured if you truly hated me that much, you deserved that satisfaction at least, and if I can’t even believe in this…than why did I escape in the first place? What do I have out here?” He said, standing back up and shaking it off. She rolled her eyes at the answer.

“Just me. So you really are in love with me…or you have the memory of someone in love with someone who I was copied from anyway. Passed down love for a dead girl I look like? Seems like a stretch.”

“You married an alien you barely knew, because he gave you bananas and said you were weird and interesting.”

“Shit…fair point.” She muttered.

“And then you were so scared to sleep with him that you ran away into a tunnel full of the thing you feared most, and the third time you did that it got you killed. So half the time your attempt at loving Vinn got you drowned. Do you even know if you’re happy with him now, or are you just used to him and accepting it because you had no choice and he killed…well, me for you?” he clearly loves you enough to risk his life but does that mean you have to love him back, or do you just owe him that much to try?” He asked as she genuinely debated the answer, eyes wide and angry. She kicked the air.

“You know you were easier to hate when you were a stupid brute.” She barked.

“I was never stupid, I was a very tactical brute playing stupid. I’m still a brute now, I just have no reason to trick you, nothing to lose, and a conscience in my ear. Just please ask yourself why you stayed with Vinn? Not the initial mistake and the law that took time to amend, why did you try so hard to make it work, and then why did you always keep running back to the caves? To me.”

“Because I have a thing for monsters, and he was the first monster to notice me and think I was special. And I was alone, and he grew on me. I ran back to the unanswered mystery that was driving me insane, not you.”

“And they lived happily ever after…hopefully, maybe, maybe not. But right now you have another monster that saved your life and you know damn good and well I know what you like and don’t like. I’ve studied you, hunted you. I know how you wanted to be treated, equal, not like a glass trinket Vinn wrapped in pillows for safety. What you needed to have and couldn’t get from him, I can give you. And unfortunately I know what pushes your emotions too far and I will never do that again to you…and in a way I never did. I just know the bastard who did very closely. I’ll repeat myself for clarification, he deserved to die for what he did, and he has.”

“So basically…you’re saying we’re both just monsters who know how to hurt each other and for some reason we kinda like fighting for control and living dangerously. And neither of us should exist, and neither of us owe anything to anyone, and you’re the closest thing to a Vinn I have, so I should just give you a try?” she smirked, oddly intrigued, or insulted, or skeptical, or kinda flattered.

“You’re almost right, but I’m not the closest thing to a Vinn you could have. I’m better than him and you know it. He treated you like a porcelain doll princess because he is terrified of hurting you, and he’s too dimwitted to know he’s too much of a bitch to do it of you asked. Sure, when your life is at risk, and he’s full of drugs and rage, he could protect you against the baddest thing out there…which was me. You think he’d hold a candle to the baddest thing out there now? Me, reborn, improved, free of his ignorance and destiny, who knows now never to underestimate your enemy? I’m the monster you wanted, with the monster you hated scooped out. I’m the thing you wanted Vinn to be that he never was and I’m better than both of them, and you’re better then that weak Nicole who failed to swim, or the desperate one who settled for a weaker monster because the runner up was lying in an arena and didn’t have a head.” He said boldly.

She wanted to believe it was all bullshit, but some of it checked out.

There was that attitude, that Kraken power she remembered, that flexing, snarling animal that scared her so much, not long ago, and behind that was just…void. No evil drive, no purist hatred and no greed. Empty sad space where a psychopathic predator used to live, that was now just a vacuum, trying to pull in something new to fill it. He was reaching for something good to fill it. There was just nothing around to take in…except her. He was vulnerable and broken like so many animals she wanted to rescue and couldn’t, and here he was begging to be taken in, and he would not survive without her to fill that void. Or maybe without her, the void would just become Kraken all over again, rotting and drawing from memory and desperation to survive. She had the power to let him fall or pull him up and what she pulled up wouldn’t be the monster she feared.

“You know when I said I wasn’t scared of you anymore?” she muttered.

“Yea.” He replied.

“I lied. I was always terrified of you, I just knew if I showed that, you’d win. We’re both too stubborn to lose.”

“And now that I’m emotionally neutered, you finally stopped being afraid of me.”

“No. You still scare the shit out of me, but I’m kinda I’m into it. I like scary shit I can control if I need to. Now get your monstrous ass over here and win for once.” She said, grabbing him by the belt and yanking him closer, because she couldn’t even reach his shirt collar. He picked her up by the arms and shoved her to the wall, accidentally bouncing her head off of it a little.

“That wasn’t very nice at all.” She said, her head throbbing and spinning. “You know Vinn would be apologizing right now.”

“Fuck Vinn. Let him keep his Nicole sealed in the plastic so it stays overprotected and clean forever. I’d rather take mine out of the box and play with it. I wanna take risks and do something dangerous. You may look like a pretty little doll dressed like a monster, but you’re more of a monster than most of us, especially now. Maybe you’re still evolving or maybe that sea monster DNA manifested a little stronger with you this time in the tank. I can see that in those golden eyes of yours, darker, deeper then they used to be. Why do you need permission to let that out? Just be YOU.” He said, staring her down. Her eyes went fully black and a smile curled across her face.

“You wanna see what I’m made of, fine. But I still don’t totally trust you. Put the damn shock collar back on.” She growled.

“There she is.” Kraken chuckled. “THAT is what I wanna play with.”