Sophie understood how Booker felt she hadn't spent Christmas with her family in years, the closest she had gotten to it was visiting her mother at the hospital and giving her a gift, and staying long enough to have lunch. Most holidays she spent alone she avoided going to any of her boyfriend's family celebrations and holidays and would usually just lie and say she had her own things to do, anything to get out of having to meet their families. January 1st, A new year gives new hope, let that be my motto for the days to come. I can no longer let my loneliness rule my life or my mood it does me no good. Today I found gold not much but enough to give me hope for once. It shows me I’ve been working all this time for something, not just digging to nowhere to find nothing. I dreamt of the woman again with her long blonde hair and green eyes. Every word she says seems to mesmerize me, she is bold and beautiful and naked without shame like she doesn’t care that I watch her, she welcomes me with open arms. I hate having to wake. King Henry has a family of his own. I think I will call his wife Queen Anne. February 17th, Just returned from bathing. I must say I can’t get enough of the hot springs, I could stay in them all day long, they ease my muscles and help to release some tension. I have found more gold but I have kept it to myself. The last thing I need is thieves coming up here. It does make me happy to know I was right; I might have to hire on some extra hands before too long and promise them a cut which can only start problems since there’s no one I trust. My dreams have continued. I woke last night and swore I would find her lying at my side but found no one making me mourn the loss of someone that never even existed in the first place. King Henry’s cubs have grown so much and his wife Queen Anne carries herself with grace and femininity. My god listen to me and how I’m describing a bear. Sophie laughed, looking through the journal it looked as if it held only a few more entries giving her a feeling of sadness as she went back to reading. March 3rd, Woke up this morning feeling heavy, work went well and I can't complain when finding golds involved even if it’s in small amounts. If my mother saw me now she’d shoo me away like street trash. My hair is long and scraggly, not even tied back. My beard is long black and bushy, unnoticeable to anyone who knew me in the past. I look exactly like what I have become, a mountain man. I’ve been planning on shaving it. I've just been putting it off, hell it’s just me up here no one to impress. Yet I take my razor every time I bathe just in case. March 14th My dreams of late have changed. The woman still comes to me every night, her supple body still warms my bed and her sweet whispers still tickle my ear yet I have seen her in my waking hour as well once at the hot springs and again yesterday at the mine. It was as if she was a ghost in the far-off darkness. Her green eyes seem to glow yet the closer I got to her the more she seemed to fade. She reached out for me as if she needed my help calling out my name. If only I could help her, take her into my arms, protect her, what I would give to be the man of her dreams like she is the one and only woman of mine. Sophie swallowed hard as she looked up from the journal “This is crazy I can't believe I'm reading this.” Taking a big gulp she finished her vodka cranberry and poured herself another before returning to the journal anxious to read more. April 7th, My bear family friends have been busy hunting, it’s fascinating to watch, so much power. I’m just glad I’m not on their menu. My dreams have continued thankfully they seem to help me through my loneliness in a way. If only I could put a name to that beautiful face, so different from any other woman I’ve known or met, yet so perfect for me. I went to the whore house in town and bedded whinny, she was pleasant enough. I didn’t want to think about how many men she had that day, and she was scared about my size. Usually, I take the time to make sure they're wet and ready for me but she didn’t have the time. She‘s a whore how worried could she be right. Jesse never had a problem, albeit I did take my time. I had to because she wouldn’t shut up. Whinny acted like a young girl with a crush before she got me into her room then she just stared at my dick with her mouth open. Which would be great if she knew how to use it. Not wanting to look at her I flipped her over and spit on my hand and made sure she was good and wet then fucked her from behind. Slow of course I didn’t want everyone thinking I was raping the girl with all the screaming she was doing, by the end I had turned her cries of pain into cries of pleasure it just took her body time to adjust. Fuck I want my mystery woman to show up. Funny that I’m starting to think she will or maybe that’s just more dreaming. May 5th, Went into town to one of the local whore houses. Picked a girl named Yolanda kind of plain to look at but she looked cleaner somehow, when I went to her room she looked scared so I asked why. She said the girls all say I like it rough and that I’m huge. I couldn’t help but laugh. I showed her my cock and promised to be nice. Hell, what else could I do? It went alright but I just don’t get it, these girls are fucking twenty guys a night and they're worried about getting their asses slapped. So what I get off on spanking, hell I like to pull hair as well, I’d probably like a whole hell of a lot of other things but that’s never going to happen. Not here, not now, not with these used-up whores. I want a woman that likes it a little rough, it’s not like I’m trying to punish them. Maybe I’ll just stick to my dream girl. Sophie smiled “I guess we're both pretending we are something that we're not just to please others.” June 1st, What the fucks my problem, I could have gotten laid at the whore house in town today and I didn’t. I’m so horny I could scream and I pass up pussy like I get it every day. Jacking off to a dream woman is not sex yet I’d prefer that to a whore. I also doubled my supply of brandy. I guess I drink more when I’m horny. The mine is better than ever, at this rate I’ll have a full staff of men up here plus security within the next two to three years and money rolling in from every direction. June 6th, I picked up some new clothes in town. My old ones need more than one patch and are worn thin. I’m headed to bathe, new clothes merit a shave and a haircut. Things are looking up, now all I need is a woman and not just any woman, my woman, my dream woman. Monday I start digging in a new direction in hopes of finding more gold. I have a feeling and I’m going to follow my gut. Sophie was sad the journal was over but enthralled in Booker T Grant, what she would give to meet him. Just think his last entry would have been written tomorrow exactly one hundred and twenty years ago. Standing she stretched as she walked out onto the porch. “Booker, Booker if only I could be your dream woman.” Sophie laughed as she looked over at the setting sun and smiled. “This feels good.” Grabbing her camera she took a few pictures from the porch then went back in and fixed herself a snack and another drink but stronger. Putting her camera in her bag she threw the journal in there as well. With a sigh of serenity, she walked out onto the porch and sat down taking out a joint. She lit it as she looked up at the stars that blanketed the sky so close and clear Sophie swore she’d never seen anything like it. The many creatures of the night sang their nightly songs seeming to come alive around her. Deep in thought and unable to stop thinking about Booker Sophie was taken by surprise when a light grabbed her eye. “What the hell, lighting bugs, fireflies?” Setting down her joint she tried to focus her eyes watching as the glowing green light as it moved behind a tree, stoned and more than tipsy she watched it for a while before standing and taking her gun from her bag and sticking it in the back of her pants then swinging her bag over her shoulder she walked toward it. “No fear Sophie.” Walking toward it she caught sight of it as if it had been waiting for her, then it moved down the overgrown path it looked like a glowing ball the size of a large marble. Sophie could almost feel a pull coming from it as if it was beckoning her toward it. After following it a few minutes the glowing orb stopped in front of a tree, worried Sophie pulled out her gun and looked around as she slowly approached it, returning her gun she reached out to touch it, as soon as she held the glowing ball in her hand the ground dropped out from under her. Falling into darkness she felt dizzy then the wind was knocked out of her as she landed in cold mud and blacked out.