------------- Dungeon Storage Room -------------

Trying to use a phone while someone else held it wasn't easy, but knowing he didn't have a choice, the dungeon kept trying to make something show up to no avail. 'Okay, get my non-copied phone and shove a copied battery in it then, and then try to turn it on.'

The thwomp raised and allowed the zombie to pass into the Research Room. Once in there, it picked up the original phone and tried to do as it was told, but it was holding too many things at the same time.

Looking at the thing fumble, the dungeon's imaginary self followed the zombie into the room. 'Okay, fine. Zombie! I need another zombie!'

Nothing happened.

The dungeon exhaled mana while holding a mental image, and a second zombie appeared in the room.

'Okay good. You grab my other phone and put in the new battery and turn it on. I know the app list is on that one.'

The second zombie, looking exactly like the other one and the one before them, took the original phone and did as it was told. Just as the dungeon expected, the app list was in fact present on the original phone. The dungeon pressed the screen's "torch" icon, attempting to hold the screen so he could scroll down to what he actually wanted, but instead he got a blast of linked messages.

[Magic Attribute discovered! Light Magic]

[Light Magic spell discovered: Torch]

[Torch added to research.]

[Select resource to enchant with Torch]

'Oh, what the hell, seriously? That's not even a spell, it's just an app. Stupid system. You hear me, system? You're stupid!' The dungeon, just as when it got its holy spell, chose not to put it on anything, instead allowing it to remain nebulously waiting to be used.

'Can I expedite the torch research, then? Like, I don't even remember what's in my list, and I don't wanna see it! Just figure out the torch so I can dig through my phone for the music player, yeah?' The dungeon was exasperated, though not due to its mana.

[Error! More than one resource is named Torch. Select torch to expedite.]

'I don't know how to do that! You know what, just all of them. Anything to do with torches. I don't even care what it is. All the torch stuff.'

[Torch spell expedited.]

[Error: Resource not selected.]

[Torch resource expedited.]

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

[Depleted Torch resource expedited.]

[Rusted Torch Sconce construction expedited.]

'Oh, so I speed up a bunch of stuff I don't want so I can get stuff I do want, and you won't even let me? Fine, then, piss me... off? You know what?' The dungeon took a deep breath, knowing such a thing was necessary, and breathed out, imagining a small rock. It manifested, and landed on the ground near its zombies. The dungeon crouched down, and held its hand on the newly spawned mana stone.

[Select energy type for this Mana Stone.]

'No. Instead, just put the Torch spell on it. That'll let me research it, right?'

[Special resource discovered: Light Mana Stone]

'Yes! Research that so I can get to my music already and stop making this so difficult.'

There was no response, but the dungeon felt better as the stone, dull and lacking any light as it was, disappeared. Having seen this before enough times, he knew that it was either in his Research Room, or would be once it was done being researched.

He realized he forgot to say something. 'And make it snappy!'

------------- Plainsheart Wayfarer's Rest -------------

The lesser noble sat at the table in the center of the upstairs common room with his back turned to a different guest door than he or his party were using. "What kind of dungeon is it?"

The woman who had a mage's staff on the wagon ride over put the parchment in her hand down, and picked up another one. "That's not your concern. But to keep you from being found out, I'll tell you that there were giants, flying rock monsters, and undead seen. None of them attacked anyone though, which is odd."

"It's an undead dungeon?", the axeman asked. "Is the core strong enough to be useful yet? I'd hate to smash it to pieces if it can't even be used to make anything useful."

The mage skimmed the rest of the document for key words before losing interest in it. "It doesn't look like it has a theme yet, so we don't know what kind of items its core fragments would enchant something with. We'll have to identify it first. Either way, we'll head out at first light tomorrow. I could use a bit of excitement after reading all these accounts of the same thing over and over."

Her other party members seemed to just sleep where they sat, leaning against the various walls.

------------- Dungeon Rat Nest Room -------------

The dungeon had gotten bored, and wandered into the Rat Nest Room, and had been watching the rat-frog spawner spit out random interpretations of what something that was both things should be. Another creature wriggled its way out from the dirty and matted hay. 'Oh, that one's good! Keep that one. You know what? You just stay in this room. I'll tell you to do something else later, maybe.'

It was as the spawner was set to create, both a rat and a frog. Was it scaly? Was it furry? Did it have the head of a frog, or a rat? It could croak, but also had sniffly little whiskers. It could jump, but also had claws and finger pads. Where did one species start or end? The dungeon couldn't tell since it was merged too well.

'Well, enough time playing with my ant farm. Stupid cramped feeling, go away! What's even wrong? I didn't feel like this in that church. What do I have to do, make a huge room?'

The dungeon's self-image went back to the Termite Room, and started clawing at the doorway. He imagined a small room, but with a lot of flat walls. Maybe each of them could even be different doorways. Maybe one of them could be a hallway that led to- the dungeon's non-expressed thoughts sparked an idea. 'A huge tower! That... uh... I was playing a game... it was red. The area was red? There was red. It was gross for some reason... scary? Why can't I remember? I can remember it's shape. Eh, screw it, I'll just do that then. Okay rooms! Time to make a bunch of rooms! Or I guess just some tunneling that leads to where the rooms will be. Yeah that's good enough, make it not look like crap later like the Secret Research Room where my Core is.'

The dungeon began digging again, and as he did so, the removed dirt was caught up in his mana wind, not falling to the ground as physics would have suggested if it was anywhere else. Very quickly, the dungeon almost went into a hypnotic construction mode, not thinking of anything and acting automatically.