'Is there a way to make it so these assholes don't keep creeping me out whenever they're in the dungeon? I'm the dungeon. Damn it, I just got a life lesson in gender studies. It's like Finn's shadow steed said, I guess. What if I did something so people needed permission? Oh! In games, you can get someone to like you if you give them presents. I wouldn't mind some presents either. Not like I couldn't use something that isn't worthless trash I found on the side of the road.' He pretended he was, or imagined he was, letting out a sigh. 'Can't do anything about it now anyway.'

He scooped up a handful of dirt from the cave mouth room. Then he dropped it, seeing something else. 'Okay yeah', he thought to himself, 'if I have to do this, then it'll at least be organized. What, not like I could actually remember all this crap. Would be nice if there's a way to automate at least some of this. So yeah. You first.'

He reached forward, and though it was mostly buried in dirt, he could tell what it was. He wasn't sure how, but also didn't question it. 'Research!' Upon choosing the option, the wind blew.

[Estimated time to research: 2 hours]

'That's it? It would take me longer than that to figure out how to build it. No complaints!'

--------------- Bogsreach Exterminator's Guild ---------------

The exterminators sat around the table they had made. When you're lacking in resources, you make do with what is available, and the Exterminators Guild knew that all too well. It was part of how they expanded as much as they did from their original scope.

What used to be the top of a door was now the head of the table, where the expedition captain sat. "What do you think?", he asked.

The merchant looked displeased as he answered. "I think we should give it time. No matter what, it has to grow to make the Core worth destroying."

The older scout piped up. "How was it able to destroy the buildings in a row like that?" He wasn't looking at anyone in particular, not knowing who might know, if anyone.

The captain answered. "Tilda shoved some copies of reports on other dungeons at me, and I gave them half a glance", he started to say. He was lying, but played it off believably. If the rest of his party knew he was competent then they might be lazy. If they thought he was lazy himself then they might work harder to try and show him up so they could gain increases in benefits, income, or authority. "Different dungeons do different things. I'm not sure how it destroyed the buildings, but it looked like it took the wood. Maybe the rock monster had something to do with it, or the buildings collapsed on their own. Some of them around here already did, and some are about to, like this one."

The rogue was carving a piece of hard fruit with his knife. "I wanna know where the monster came from. You had to have read something useful about that, right?", he asked, intentionally sounding bored while looking at the captain. Seeing that no one was particularly interested in looking at him, he gave a small wink.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

The corner of the captain's lip curved slightly before he answered. "Eh, not that much. It was more of just overhearing things while I was trying to sleep off a hangover, or thirty. Some dungeons start unleashing monsters in their first few moments. Some turn animals they find into monsters. Some make traps to kill people and then start spawning undead."

The older scout nudged the younger one. "That's why we work so close with the Ministry. They hate undead dungeons."

-----------------------------

He moved the "Aisle Shelf", as it was called, against the wall in the Research room near the door. 'Please don't waste my time on the next thing. I don't wanna forget what I'm trying to do', he said to himself. Half an hour later, the handful of dirt he had scooped up from the cave mouth was researched, and placed on the shelf.

He stared at the "Shitty Wooden Wall" for a few moments too long. 'Yeah, I need some of that wood... yeah, you're getting chopped up. In a minute. Or hour, or something. I don't know, whatever. Research!'

[Estimated time to research: 1 hour]

'Nice! Okay, well then I'm, no, I can't do another room. All the stupid dirt's in the way.' He feigned strain in his voice. 'Must. Make. Dirt. Sandbox.'

--------------- Bogsreach Exterminator's Guild ---------------

"We'll take it in shifts, then", the captain said. "I don't care who goes first, but I'm going to sleep."

"You, kid", the older scout said to the younger. "You're first. Who else?"

The merchant didn't look keen, nor did the rogue.

"Me." The gently wizened scout said, answering his own question.

The two set out, getting to the outside of the cave mouth after a short time, since they only had to walk halfway across the small village. It would have been even faster if there was any kind of a roadway that was visible and not covered in random mud sinks, knee-high tufts of vegetation, and wet dirt that pulled at their boots.

"You stand over there, I'll stand here. You've seen guards at a door before. Just don't let anyone go in unless the captain told us beforehand."

"Yeah, I got it gramps", the younger scout retorted.

"I'm not your gramps! I'm not even old enough!"

"Well, you sound like you are."

He rolled his eyes. "And don't let anything come OUT, either."

-------------- Plainsheart Ministry of Truth ---------------

The sermon over, the young woman walked up to the priest. "Is it true there's a new dungeon in Bogsreach?"

The priest gave a solemn nod. "Yes, that's true. Why do you ask?"

"Before my grandfather passed", she started to say, holding back a sniffle, "he used to say about the good old days when there were traveling merchants coming here, and better food."

The priest gave an honest smile. "My old mother told the same tales. But we should not get ahead of ourselves. We don't know what kind of dungeon it is. If it's a good one, then I'll be going there to pray once the Exterminators Guild shares their report."

--------------- Plainsheart Tavern ----------------

Melisande accepted the bet, and started chugging her drink. "Gah! Goanie spit and swampwater!", she screamed.

"Don't blame me! It's all you lot that keep drinking everything I make fast as I can make it! Let it ferment and it'll be better!"

She wiped her mouth on her sleeve messily. "No, I know it isn't your fault, Merry", she apologized. "Maybe we'll get you something better to make it with, you think?"

The tavernkeeper smiled. "Is that why you gave it your...?"

"Mace", she answered with a smile. "No, that was to apologize for Leldro. Free refill?"