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Greycore
Chapter 15: Chucklenuts

Chapter 15: Chucklenuts

'A wooden sword? I mean, okay, thanks?' He had recognized that the person was wearing something with that same yellow eye on it. 'What were those called? The triangle-edged flappy things that was on someone's belt that covered a side pocket if there was one. If they were wearing armor, it would just be an armor piece. Those had eyes. That was a woman, wasn't it? Its face was more narrow than the males, and she was a little smaller. She seemed nice. Those other guys, I'd seen them before. I think it's their fault that the jerk-faced buttsniff showed up. But it was also them that brought the nice lady. One eyeball guy was definitely an enemy, but the other wasn't. Eh, I'll deal with it later. Like, in the morning I guess.'

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When morning came, he felt better. Mana generation, huh? 'What is next to me, now? Stupid jerk chasing me everywhere wasn't great for my focus. Yes I have focus!' He immediately lost focus.

'It would have been nice to know what those people were saying last night. Meh, I'll deal with it later. What's around here close enough that I should care?' he asked himself. Standing where the river of boulders used to be, he saw something. 'A cave? Now see, that's a nice thing to have. Yeah, I'll take that. Are you done yet?'

There was no timer he was aware of. Touching the Core, he got the message again.

[Move Core?]

'Yes. I'm gonna go hide in that cave. So, buy that cave as a room!' A blue wave of energy rushed forward, almost like it was scanning the inside of the cave before it disappeared. He walked into the cave, looking around. 'Not as impressive as I thought, but I can see this working. Can I get some bats or something? I need something that flies. Something big. Or at least medium-sized and a lot of them. I wanna do the Scooby-Doo intro. That should make at least someone go away.'

He put the Core down in between some stalagmites.

[Core relocation in progress. Time remaining: 6 hours]

'Yeah, whatever. That guy's just gonna start... wait, no, he got hauled off. They beaned him pretty good back there. Maybe I should give that guy that clocked him a gift? Something to pay him. Heh, maybe my own watch? No, that's stupid. Wait, I'm supposed to build a library, right? Storage room? Like a few rooms. Okay, I'm... yeah I gotta pool resources. Relocate. I can't really hide if I'm way out in the open on a hill, right? Come on timer, just finish.'

He paced back and forth, already bored. 'You know, I wonder if I can just make a room without having to buy it? There's some dirt like, right there. Can't I just dig?' He walked to the curved wall of the cave that was closest to the center of the hill, instead of the one that led back to the bog.

He scratched the dirt with his fingernails, or at least what he identified as the fingernails attached to his fingers attached to his hands attached to his arms. Some of the dirt fell to the ground on the floor of the cave. 'Um, store whatever dirt I dig out. I'll do something with it later maybe. Oh actually did I...'

He walked back over to where the woman left her sword, and touched it. 'Store', he said.

Back at the same wall, to the right if one was outside the cave looking inside its mouth, he scratched some more. 'I'm not feeling sick or dizzy? Even after all that nonsense with that turd farmer? Alright, then.' He scratched some more, starting to actually make a hole. 'That's not the cool sword I was asking for, you know! And that was one chick!' He went back to digging.

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The unwashed man had ripped his pantleg pretty badly on a thorn upon waking up. Some sort of plant had a spike, or it was a hard stick out here in the bog, but there wasn't anything with sticks that grew out here. "You assholes put it here to get me, didn't you!?", he screamed at people miles away that were unaware of his existence. "Bastards always lying to me!"

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He didn't notice that he picked up a hitchhiker.

He continued walking through the mud, finding something he was looking for. It wasn't difficult, since it stood out rather obviously.

"Boil it."

He put his forefinger and thumb at the base of the plant, and pulled, getting the whole thing rather easily. In the towns, these grew as well. Somehow they seemed to grow better there. But in mud like this, even slightly dried out mud, pulling it out by the roots was a lot easier. There were a few more, and so they all came too.

He continued walking, looking on the ground for more. Instead of seeing any, he saw what looked like a crude ceramic pot, buried almost completely in the muck. He tossed the flowers to the side, grumbling incoherently as he dug it out before digging his hand into the now freed container, scooping the mud out of it.

He'd been to the town in front of him that he couldn't see yet. That was a long time ago, and they hadn't wanted him around either. But he did know Bogsreach was there.

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Hours had gone by, and unlike when he had a physical body that looked like this one, his fingers didn't get tired and his hands didn't hurt from scraping through the dirt. He even had a full doorway now! 'How much farther can I go? Eh, I'll find out when I find out. Why else do you throw bombs at cracked walls, eh?'

'It's nice to finally be left alone, and not have to deal with that tongue-wagging wheeze beast', he thought to himself. He started to dig out a room beyond the doorway, and stopped. 'Is the timer still going?' It wasn't.

He looked at the Core, still sitting between a triumvirate of earthen spikes sticking up from the ground. It was glowing.

'Yes! I can... um, what was I doing again? Checking to see if... no. Hey I wonder if I can tag natural stuff for decoration?' He walked over to a stalagmite that stood on its own, away from the three that held his Core, and touched it.

[Special Construction discovered: Stalagmite]

'That one's special? Kinda surprising. I mean, okay though.' He looked at all the stuff spread out all over the previous Core room. 'Yeah, I'll sell all the other rooms. If that guy comes back, he's just going to kill me anyway. Plus, I'm seriously not hiding. I need to hide. Sell room, sell room!'

All of the constructions, traps, and other things the dungeon had found so far were automatically relocated to the new Core room, being the only room the dungeon even had now.

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The infested hobo walked more, and got to where the hill's gradual incline reached a less gradual decline. At the crest of the terrain, he saw it in front of him. The town of Bogsreach. A lot of buildings were collapsed, and it didn't look like anyone lived there anymore. Like no one had for a long time.

"Thieves stealing my fire! Cookin' pot boil with no fire! Damn it! Thieves and liars! Say there's fire for me here and food and drink and everyone's hiding!"

No one had told him any of what he accused them of saying or doing. The people that didn't exist to begin with were innocent.

He took a look around, and saw what looked like a cave full of garbage. "Try to hide my fire, will you! I see through your lies!" He angrily stomped on the mostly-dried mud, walking towards the cave mouth. Wedging himself in between a bell tower and a wall with a hole in it, he dragged himself deeper.

There, on the ground, was what looked like an abandoned campfire.

"I told you fools! You can't lie to me!"

He put the muddy chamber pot he had found, still holding some water in it, on top of the soggy, muddy, blackened wood in between the ring of stones. He sat there, ripping most of his flowers apart, throwing only the leaves into the pot, and the yellow spherical flowers on the ground next to him. There was very very little light inside, but it seemed enough for him.

One of the flowers he didn't damage, and instead tossed it on the ground as he jumped up. "What's that?", he asked himself.

There was the biggest treasure chest he had ever seen just in front of him. It didn't even look like it had a lock.

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He felt like someone was glaring at the back of his head. Leaving the room he had just started, he saw someone. It was definitely a man, and he was the most disgusting and dirty thing he'd ever seen. He'd seen homeless people before on Earth, but this, this was not that. His hair looked like it had never been washed ever, matted worse than the dog grooming videos he'd seen before. He had what looked like dookie staining the inside and outside of his pants, and his shirt somehow. He didn't have any footwear, and his feet looked like leather caked in inches of mud. He probably couldn't even bend his toes, if he even had any.

'What are you doing? Trying to cook? What do you- some flowers? You're ripping up flowers. To eat? For alchemy? I should make an alchemy room too... thanks gross dude. What do you see? Where are you go- no! Stay away from there! Get away from my chest! I don't have monsters or traps to stop you or crap to chase you away! No, don't open it!'

[Congratulations! You killed your first adventurer!]