“I don’t follow,” said the man under the log. He was confused enough that he actually seemed much less scared, almost as if taken aback or offended.

“If they couldn’t catch you,” Will said, trying to form his own hypothesis, “it’s because they didn’t really want to.”

“So they were just chasing me for no reason?”

Will flicked two ears in a thoughtful way. “No, there must be a reason. We just don’t know what it is. What’s your name?”

“That’s comforting. I’m Chine.”

“Have you dealt with tainted creatures before, Chine?” Will asked. “What do you know about them?”

“I’ve only fought one once,” Chine said. “And it was a painful experience. It got me good, but from what I understand it fell apart after.”

“Everyone knows that they aren’t very durable or long-lasting,” Chine continued, “but they only need to live long enough to take someone with them.”

“Did you feel different afterwards?” Will asked.

“I have a short tail now,” Chine said, already getting up. “Do you want to see it?”

“Not right now, thanks,” Will said before he could mentally correct himself. “Are you worried about becoming tainted yourself?”

“Not particularly, no.”

Will considered this. “Why?”

“Cause you’re gonna save the world. You’re another one of GP’s recruits.”

“GP? Oh, Glorious Purpose, of course. Is he a big deal?”

Chine spoke with the nonchalant attitude of someone speaking of another person’s minor problem. “Yeah, he and his party took on the quest to save the world. As long as you guys are working on it, there’s nothing to worry about.”

“You’re that confident in our success?”

“The world hasn’t ended yet,” he said with a nervous laugh. “Something big and deadly always shows up to threaten the world, and it’s always dealt with.”

“Hm. Well, I can’t say I’m unfamiliar with that concept,” Will said. He remembered a day in freshman year he’d been to a climate protest, and how little attention it got on the news. “Thank you for answering my questions. Do you need anything else?”

“No, but thank you,” Chine said. He stretched lazily as if warming up, and as though he hadn’t just been in mortal peril. “I’m just going to meatwarp home.”

Will decided he could ask Virgil what that meant later. “Alright. Uh, goodnight I guess.”

Will jogged back to the chariot, where Glory was kneeling beside Virgil, who was shirtless and having his wounds tended to.

“You’re back,” said Glory, not looking up. “Good. We should return home at once.”

“How’s Virgil?” Will asked. He sat down across from Glory, and the chariot began to move again.

“Unconscious, but stable. The venom is potent, but not deadly. I’ve administered what I can, but he’ll need some time to recover.”

“Is it that serious?” Will asked. “I didn’t realize it would be that hard on him.”

“You’re twice his height, and he got twice the dose you did, delivered to his core and not an extremity,” Glory said. He produced a large patch of gauze, which made a sound like velcro as he pressed it to Virgil’s side.

“Fair point,” Will said. “The guy we rescued didn’t seem all that concerned about the tainted aside from the immediate threat.”

“Most people aren’t,” said Glory. “They expect us to handle it.”

“He mentioned that you specifically were handling it. Are you in charge, and not Virgil?” Will asked. “I kind of assumed he was in charge.”

“Nobody’s in charge,” said Glory plainly. “We all contribute what we can. But I signed the paperwork, and being heir to the heavens sets certain… expectations.”

“You have to fill out paperwork to save the world?”

“Oh yes,” Glory said, again sounding a bit tired. “Lots of paperwork.”

Rex made a dull whistling noise and signed something. It was even more difficult for Will to understand, as Rex was laying down sideways.

“Rex is also annoyed that people don’t seem to worry,” Glory said. “He says it’s more fun when everyone is freaked out and giving us things.”

Will laughed dully. “Do those creatures, the tainted ones, have recognized tactics? Are those specific monsters we fought ones that have shown up before, or are they totally different each time?”

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

“I’ve heard reports of a skeletal one that matches the description of one we fought, and I’ve seen similar-looking ones pop up more than once, so the idea isn’t unfounded,” said Glory. “But the tainted aren’t known to act tactically. They are by definition guided by instinct and impulse.”

“Does anyone keep tabs on the tainted or what they can do? A field guide or bestiary or whatever?” Will asked. “I want to note down how that hairy one’s venom works.”

“Not to my knowledge,” Glory said, producing a sketchbook and a graphite pen from a hole in space. “You can start one if you like.”

Will took the sketchbook and began writing notes down before he could forget.

“Skeletal tainted; thin, translucent skin. highly flexible. highly reliant on arms and hands.”

“Furball tainted; large, wide, covered in rippling fur. Big mouth, lots of tongues. venomous. paralytic, not deadly.”

Rex looked over to Will as he did his best to sketch the creatures. He signed something slowly, like he was spelling a word.

“Rex suggests we call the hairy one ‘Gnashodon,’” said Glory unamusedly.

“I’m not giving them funny names,” said Will flatly. “Numbers, maybe, for ease of use. They’re people, yeah? Or used to be?”

“Yes,” said Glory. “I agree giving them funny names would be in poor taste.”

“I think knowing how they work and how to stop them will go a long way to protecting people,” said Will. Despite himself he found the prospect somewhat appealing. This was something he could actually do to make a difference.

“I’m glad to see you’re taking the initiative on that,” said Glory. “I believe this Pokédex of yours could prove invaluable.”

Will winced at himself a bit at thinking of that comparison, even if he hadn’t voiced it. On the floor, Virgil coughed, made a pained noise, and looked up at nothing. “What the dickens is a Pokédex?” he asked.

Will and Glory both waited for the other to explain first.

“It’s like a bestiary,” Glory said. “From Will’s home.”

Virgil looked at a space about a foot away from Will’s head. “That’s cool,” he said. “Tell me about it.”

“I think it’s best if you rest,” Glory said, slightly sternly. “We can discuss Will’s home another time.”

“Everything hurts,” said Virgil. “And I can’t move. Let me have this?”

Glory looked at Will and gave him a questioning look. He didn’t need to use telepathy for Will to understand him.

Will took a breath. “Okay, so, there are these creatures, called Pokémon. They’re, like, monsters, but they’re friendly. People use them to battle each other. It’s okay, Pokémon like it. Uh… the first one, number zero-zero-zero-one, is Bulbasaur. It’s like, a big frog with a green bulb on its back, but they’re connected, and both grow symbiotically…”

They had gotten to Metapod when they arrived back at the estate.

“We don’t have an infirmary,” said Glory. “Will, can you get Virgil to his room? I must prepare a stronger elixir.”

Will looked to Rex, who was already walking away. “Yeah. Okay.”

Virgil directed Will to the largest bedroom, which overlooked a small, river-carved valley behind the estate. There was a bang from its bathroom, and Dio practically fell through the door.

He was wearing a fluffy towel around his waist (which left more to the imagination than the loincloth he had previously been wearing) and dripping wet.

“I can explain,” he said quickly.

“Please don’t,” said Will hurriedly. “Virgil got pretty roughed up out there. Where should I… put him?”

“Put him in the tub,” Dio said, pointing a thumb back to the bathroom. “The springwater should help. It's magic. You’re welcome.”

“Just leave,” Will said.

“Okay, okay,” said Dio, who sidestepped Will and sulked out.

Will set him in the ‘tub’, which was actually shaped almost like a fountain, and was halfway onto the balcony outside. The water was tinged slightly bluish-green.

Virgil made a relieved sound as he was set down in it. “Thank you, Will. I was really counting on you today,” he said.

“Uh, you’re welcome,” Will said. “Hope you… feel better?”

Virgil laughed. “I do feel better. You…” he paused. “You can go. I can handle myself until Glory arrives. Get something to eat and some rest. There are several empty guest rooms to the left of this one, just take one of them.”

“Uh, yeah,” Will said. “Okay. I can do that. Do you want me to snag something to eat?”

“No,” said Virgil. “I can get Glory to fetch me something.”

“You sure? I don’t mind,” said Will.

“Certain,” Virgil said. “You’ve done plenty today.”

“Alright. Goodnight, Virgil,” Will said as he walked away, slightly puzzled by the conversation.

Glory was in the kitchen, mashing something in a mortar and pestle.

“Hey, Glory,” Will said. “What’ve you guys got to eat?”

“There's always a surplus of fish Dio catches and butchers." Glory said proudly. "There's plenty of chowder he makes from it, as well. There’s fresh bread, as well, if you just want something very simple.”

“Sounds perfect,” Will said. “Where is it?”

“Pantry,” Glory said, pointing to a doorway with one wing. “Each container separately keeps food at an optimal temperature.”

Will nodded, and passed Glory into the pantry, which was the size of a walk-in closet. Metal pots and ceramics and simple open baskets were lined upon shelves with no apparent order.

He opened several at random, finding dishes he recognized (such as baked probably-chicken) and ones he didn’t (a whole frog suspended in some kind of savory-smelling gelatin)

Will settled on what he assumed was fish-and-clam chowder and a few small rolls.

Outside the pantry, Will ate alone. He missed having stupid video essays to ignore while eating. The food was good, though; Glory was right about it being the perfect temperature.

He idly wondered what fish it was made from, and if the clams were local freshwater species or imported. The water source of the estate was magic; did that impact the food made from it, or the animals living in it?

Will resolved to ask Glory for some extra notebooks.