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Gilded Rose
The Fight is a Metaphor (For Sex)

The Fight is a Metaphor (For Sex)

The town, which Virgil helpfully informed Will was called “King’s Hollow,” wasn’t busy when Will and his companions arrived. Lamps lining the central road gave off orange light, giving the cobblestone streets a warm, oddly familiar look.

It was also deserted, at least to Will’s eyes. The lack of cars was obvious enough, but nobody at all on the streets was surprising, too.

“Where is everyone?” Asked Will.

“At home relaxing, mostly. It’s fairly unusual to be up this late,” said Virgil.

“It’s like six or seven, right?” Asked Will, scanning the fading sunset.

“Seven twenty-three,” Glory provided. “We sleep and wake earlier than you are used to.”

“And the weapon shop or whatever will still be open?”

“Certainly!” Virgil said somewhat proudly, “Our preferred supply outlet is open twenty-four seven.”

This supply outlet turned out to be a dark storefront illuminated by surprisingly intense red lights.

“Are those electric?” Will asked.

“Indeed," said Glory. "They’re increasingly popular in cities and in the homes of people with no taste.”

Though Glory would never admit it, electric lights made his giant, lidless eye water.

“Huh, neat,” said Will. “What’s the power source?”

“Here, as in most places, it’s geothermal. Our estate taps into part of the underground network, but the whole thing is quite extensive.”

“No coal?”

Glorious Purpose cocked the object that passed for his head. “Of course not. Why would we do that? Only very specific, enclosed venues want the air clogged with smoke.”

Will thought about arguing the point, realized Glory would be able to tell that he was, and consequently decided to drop the issue. “Can we just go inside? It’s a bit cold and this jacket doesn’t retain heat.”

“Sure,” said Virgil. He looked over at Will, who was currently bare-chested except for his uniform harness. To himself, he thought many things, the most PG-13 of which was: “Anything to keep you from putting a shirt on.”

The shop was also dimly lit, but more warmly, like a bonfire at sunset. The only person inside was what looked like a big white-furred bat in thick overalls sitting at the counter, who perked up when he noticed customers.

“If it isn’t my favorite customers!” He said, grinning. Will hadn’t realized bats could grin. “What are you all doing up so late?”

Rex blew the bat-person a kiss as Glory explained. “We have another candidate. He needs some gear; what do you have for a soulmaster?”

“Soulmaster, eh? Soulmaster… soulmaster…” the bat looked away, lost in thought. “I have a few whips in stock, but not anything more specialized. Is that alright?”

The bat met Will’s eyes. “Is that alright?” He repeated.

“Sure. Yes, that’s alright,” Will said hastily.

“Perfect,” said the bat. “Can you join me in the practice room?”

The practice room was quite large and set in cool, heavy stone, or maybe concrete? Will wasn’t sure. Large padded shields and sets of similarly-padded armor were assembled neatly on one wall.

“Your class will help you intuit the basics, and these aren’t ordinary whips,” the bat said, pulling out a variety of objects from a revolving shelf. Only a few of them were whip-shaped.

“This is your basic scorpion whip,” the bat said, handing Will one of the whip-shaped whips. “It’s got a small barb on the end that you can retract as you like.”

“You want to pull the whip to the side, then forward,” the bat explained, holding a similar whip to demonstrate. “Roll your arm over your head as it returns, so you don’t hit yourself.”

The bat’s whip cracked in the air, and the sound echoed in the room.

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“I’ve never used a weapon before,” Will said only slightly nervously.

“That’s alright. Take it slow; you’re here to try it out.”

Will nodded. He attempted the motion like the bat had, and actually did succeed for a moment, until the whip slapped one of his horns on the return trip. He yelped, but it didn’t actually hurt much.

“Good work," the bat said, adjusting Will's stance and guiding his hands. "Try it a few times; your intuition for the motions should come quickly with your class.”

Will repeated the motion again, this time avoiding striking his horns. Then twice more. With each attempt, it felt more to Will like the whip was an extension of himself than just a weapon. He kind of liked it.

Will paused, realized he was smiling, and stopped. “Okay. I think I’ve got the basics. Is that it?”

“I want you to try a few, and see how they feel.”

Will nodded. He tried a chain whip, which he found too heavy, and one that was made of enchanted water, which he kind of liked.

The third was a leather brace with fine gold patterns worked into it, and a pink gemstone on the front. “This one’s a bit different,” the bat explained. “The whip is made of light projected from the brace. It’s nice if you don’t feel like carrying around a weapon.”

“Sure, yeah.” Will said. Something about it spoke to him, and he was interested in trying it.

Will repeated the motion again, a lash of gold light streaming from his wrist and then dissipating. Improvising, Will tried a few different motions, getting a feel for how the whip responded.

“This is the one,” Will said, smiling again. “It feels right.”

“Great work,” the bat said, returning his smile. “One last test; how will you fare against a real opponent?”

“Uh, what?” Will said.

The bat pulled out a long mace studded with wide spikes from the same revolving shelf. “All the practice in the world means nothing if you can’t use it in a real fight. We’re just going to spar, but I want you to give it your all.”

He walked a few feet away from Will and assumed a wide stance. “You may make the first move.”

“Oh, wow, okay,” Will said. “We’re really doing this?” he pulled the whip forward again, trying to imagine hitting the bat on the side. The golden whip lashed forward, slicing right through the bat and reappearing on the other side without leaving a mark. Will felt something solidify in his mind.

“Good shot,” said Rico, still grinning. “Now, it’s my turn.”

“Wait!” Will said, and Rico didn’t. “I felt… something. I know your name. How did I learn that?”

Rico swung and Will backed away again. “Aha, you are a soulmaster! I was beginning to worry you were just showing off.”

“That’s not helpful!” Will said, this time swinging the whip as he sidestepped. It only grazed Rico, but it was a start.

“Soulmaster isn’t just a fancy name, Will,” Rico said, this time landing a solid blow. Without thinking, Will raised an arm to block. Despite the force he could feel, the injury felt more like a firm punch than a metal bat to his shoulder. “You’re mastering souls. Everyone you strike is inexorably bound to you; a connection you can use to control the flow of battle.”

“Everyone? Forever!?” Will said. On impulse, he bounded sharply to Rico’s side, and slashed through him as he moved.

“Yes, little man, everyone! Forever!”

“That’s a lot of commitment!” Will cried, cutting across Rico’s back twice in quick succession.

Rico turned, then took a hoof to the solar plexus. Will, who was suddenly balancing on one foot, landed on his butt. Next to him, Rico was lying on the floor, wincing.

“Ah! Okay, cool down. That’s starting to hurt.” Rico said, wincing.

“I honestly couldn’t tell. This whip thing goes right through you.”

“It still hurts, and every thrust is more intense than the last. The soulmaster wants to draw the fight out and inflict pain as long as possible. You’re a natural, by the way.”

Will got to his feet and wiped sweat from his brow. “Uh, thank you. I guess.”

“You’re happy with that whip?”

“Very,” Will said, panting. He was still feeling the adrenaline rush, and it was enjoyable, like he’d just worked out and was enjoying the afterglow.

“Keep it, then,” Rico said, also getting up. “Free of charge.”

Will’s ears flicked suspiciously. “Are you sure?”

“Positive,” said Rico, subconsciously mirroring the ear movement. “Virgil’s spell is already so expensive. Consider it a gift.”

“Uh, well, thank you, Rico. For everything.”

“You’re very welcome, Will.”

The two of them walked back into the main store area, exhausted and sore. Rex gave Rico an affectionate noogie, which was impressive given the nearly two-foot height difference. Virgil, who had been sitting on the counter, smiled and waved. “Happy with your weapon?”

“Very,” Will said. “I think. I kind of… soul-bonded with Rico. It’s part of the class, apparently.”

“Oh yes,” said Glorious Purpose, appearing from nowhere. “The soulmaster’s bondage is integral to its combat abilities. Through them, you can heal friends, and harm foes. Slain combatants can be sheltered by this connection, and even called to your aid.”

“Okay,” said Will, who was out of complaints to make about the absurdity of his current situation. “Cool.”

“Can I bond next?” said Virgil, with more enthusiasm than was strictly necessary. “I want to be next.”