Shit, Bob whispered to himself. Had he forgotten the woman? Of course not. Perish the thought. Well but the mind of man is finite. There are only so many things a person can maintain attention on at any given moment. The more you attend to, the more you must expel from your attention. Now it wasn't Bob saying that. It was a physical law of the universe. Bob could absolutely not be blamed. If you want to blame someone, blame the physicists who discovered the law or the creator who framed the law, not poor, mortal Bob. She'd understand all that when he explained it to her, wouldn't she?

Bob approached slowly. He knew he ought to hurry, she was waiting and watching; every moment he delayed was another moment she had to endure in discomfort, but the woman was staring at him. She was absolutely staring at him and it was very much not a friendly, I-am-eternally-grateful stare.

If anything, Bob felt a faint burning sensation every time he caught her gaze. A corner of Bob's mind was shouting at him to just leave her tied up and make for the hills. Freedom! You'd think at some point you'd get strong enough that the prospect of being screamed at by a woman would no longer be frightening; alas, if such a fantastical state existed, Bob had yet to achieve it. He was shitting himself.

"I'm-m sorry; the delay... I had to..." Bob started to ramble; he knew he wasn't supposed to say he'd forgotten, but that really boxed in his explanatory creativity. "You see, the king, I mean, beetle, you know, the big one. Well the king just died and he was a good friend of mine. So, you understand..."

Bob happened to glance into her fiery eyes at that moment. He cut himself short, "what am I saying. You're not interested. I'll explain later."

She'd been tied up with her arms behind her back and wrapped around a tree trunk. And then, to round things off, gagged with fallen leaves. The leaves rustled as she tried to speak. Bob was eternally grateful that he couldn't make out a word she was saying.

"Hold on, I'll get you down."

Bob tried to pull away at her bonds. He pulled and the bonds held fast. "Blood hell." They'd lashed her up with proper, thick branches. Crad must have done it, because no ordinary person could have knotted up the wood like this. Bob pulled out his white dagger with the bloody tip. The woman's eyes widened.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you. I can't get them off with my hand. I'm going to have to cut them loose."

Bob might have glanced sidelong at the woman as he tried to saw through the branches. These things happen. It was completely involuntary. You can't shut off part of your eye. And mind he totally hadn't noticed before (you’re not supposed to notice these things), but the woman was rather attractive, quite attractive, well, no point underplaying the thing, extremely attractive.

Not exactly in a soft, fall-into-your-arms, damsel-in-distress way. She had dark, black hair, large eyes, sharp, almost elven features. She looked fierce and independent. What was the word? Strong-willed? And did she look a little angry? Yes, Bob had not been imagining things. She looked very angry. Maybe she was angry at somebody else. There was nobody else around.

"Got it. Here we go." Bob's knife finally chopped through the last cord binding her wrists and she crumbled down. Bob caught her and set her up on her feet. She looked a little unsteady.

"You alright there?"

She reached up with her newly free hands and pulled the rotten leaves from her mouth.

"Alright? Alright he asks me. Did you hear? After being tied up and gagged for hours? Your sense of humor is... charming."

Bob rubbed his head and tried a weak, placating smile.

"And isn't it amusing how you managed to untie me before removing the gag? One might almost wonder if you enjoyed the silence."

Bob started a little too guilty and her eyes narrowed. She had definitely noticed.

"I see. Such a gentleman. And only the noblest intentions can have kept my savior away while he played with bugs and mongrels, leaving me bound up in a tree."

Things were going sideways. She was exaggerating, slightly, a little, well, it was something in the way of expression. He might have been faster, but he'd got there in the end. Credit where credit is due.

"Bob, hate to tell you this, but she's waiting for an answer. "

Bob had sort of assumed his was a silent role in the conversation. He would stand there, with bowed head and sad, self-deprecating expression as she explained to him his many faults and failings. But instead she was looking at him with dangerously flashing eyes and folded arms. She wanted to know why he hadn't untied her sooner. First impressions dominate relationships. What have you got Bob? What have you got? Bob fumbled, Bob fumbled: "I wanted to take you down as fast as I could. Of course."

"Of course."

"It was the..." Bob snapped his fingers, "the beetles. They might look peaceful, but they're technically monsters. They might have attacked you. I couldn't risk exposing you to any danger."

"Is that so? You seemed on rather good terms with these monsters. I remember something about their king being a good friend to you."

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"Ah, you heard that, did you?"

"Yes. I'm afraid I have not yet learned how to close my ears to unpleasant conversation."

"Still, better safe than sorry." Bob tried.

She raised a mocking eyebrow but didn’t press. Silence. Bob never thought he’d appreciated it so much. Well played Bob. The woman tried to take a step, but she lost her balance and stumbled to the ground.

"Are you okay? Can you walk?"

"He asks the woman who has just fallen to the ground."

Ok maybe a stupid question. "I guess I was supposed to do this." Bob bent down and lifted her up into his arms. It was a little awkward for him with one good arm and one mud arm, but he managed it somehow.

"At least he is not absolutely hopeless." Now that sounded like a compliment.

"Here's a healing patch." Harry fished one out of Bob's pack and dropped it onto the woman. "Just peel off the packaging and stick it anywhere that hurts."

She frowned, but followed his instructions all the same. Bob could see the moment when the patch hit her. Her face lit up and her whole body relaxed. She even flashed him something that might have been mistaken for a grateful smile. Bob's chest melted. Good things happen to good people.

The health patch had taken the edge of her bad mood, but she didn't look fully recovered. There were tired rings under her eyes and her breathing was shallow. Mana deprivation. It made sense. Somehow she'd managed to summon George, himself and every monster in a three kilometer radius. That must have taken a lot of her. She'd need some time before she was feeling herself again.

"So... what's your name?"

"Do you often carry women in your arms before asking their names?"

Bob smiled. "What's in a name?"

"Sophie. Sophie Blanche." She almost smiled back.

"A pleasure to meet you." He might have kissed her on the hand. One does get carried away.

"And what should I call my savior?"

"I’m... Robert Brown." Better if she didn't know he was a wanted man with a price tag of one million credits on his head. Money ruins all the best relationships.

"I suppose it is only fitting that I express my gratitude. Thank you Robert for saving this Sophie. She does not know what might have happened if you had not appeared."

"I only did what anyone else in my position would have done."

She scoffed, but there was a smile hidden deep in the sound.

"Isn't that what I'm supposed to say?"

"A gentleman knows when to speak and when to fall silent."

"I..." Bob bit his tongue. She nodded to herself and closed her eyes. She must have been more exhausted than Bob had realized because she was practically falling asleep in his arms. He couldn't believe it. How had such a thing happened? It was poetry. Straight out of a fairytale. He caught the hint of that heady fragrance that had called him all the way to this place. It was weaker than before, delicate, but still deliciously intoxicating. It was coming from the woman. He smiled stupidly to himself.

You know this adventure could have gone a lot worse, Bob thought to himself, as he stood there, watching the beetle procession trickle forward, holding a beautiful woman in his arms.

Everything was perfect. George and he were uninjured. He had the long-awaited copy of Jonny the Man tucked in his inner pocket ready for a good binge. All their enemies were dead and defeated. He had earned himself the gratitude and respect of a fair lady.

Bob recognized the closing soundtrack. The curtains were coming down. Enemies vanquished. Damsels saved. Rewards distributed. The hero gets the girl. This here was an ending. All that was left was to ride off into the sunset (except it was raining and dark out). If Bob ever wrote an autobiography, this is where he'd end the first book.

One thing. Just one little thing. It had been niggling at the back of Bob's mind. He had unchecked notifications. And nobody would be satisfied without seeing the glorious rewards that awaited the first sentient to reach level ten. He'd just peek at them. Just a glance.

> Quest Completed - Better than you - 1

>

>

> Reward: System Sponsorship (Rank D)

> Title: System Sponsorship (Rank D)

>

>

> You might just be worth something.

>

>

> Effects:

>

> * 1000 credits each level up

> * Uncommon item + 10,000 credits each rank evolution

Nothing like good old capitalist motivation. You want someone to do something, well then pony up there cowboy. Bob had seriously been wondering how you were supposed to make money in this post-system world and here was the answer. Get sponsored and level up.

Now for the good stuff. Bob rubbed his hands together. The stuff we've all been waiting for. The mythical level ten. Saving the world. Ranking up. Growing in power. Wait a moment. Hold on now. Just hold on one sec. Just hold on one damn second. Bob searched through his inbox. Bob searched through his inbox again. That there, that stupid system sponsorship quest, that had been Bob's last notification...

He swallowed, steeled himself, closed his eyes and pulled up his status summary. He opened his eyes:

> Name: Robert Brown

>

> Race: Human (lesser)

>

> Class: Heaven's Fool

>

> Level: 9 (99%)

>

> Rank: E

>

> Wealth: 4,876,100 credits

"You promised me. You told me if I killed those men. You tricked me. There's blood on these hands."

Had the system promised him? Well... thinking back... no. Bob had just guessed. He'd assumed. There had been no evolution quest and killing ordinary monsters didn't move his experience bar. So naturally, inevitably, he'd concluded that he had to kill sentients. He came to that conclusion and he'd been wrong. So you mean that death-defying counting stunt was all a waste of time?

Bob breathed in, ready to curse the shit out of the manipulative, backstabbing system and then he remembered Sophie was dozing in his arms. He was a gentleman. A gentleman wouldn't disturb a sleeping lady. He closed his eyes and let the breath flow out of him. How disappointing, but things could always be worse. Take comfort in that Bob. Take comfort in the good things. Bob's eyes blazed open.

"Sophie." Bob's voice was serious.

Sophie, like she was floating up from pleasant dreams, flickered her eyes open and answered sweetly, "what is it, Robert?"

"Sophie, you've stopped your fragrance magic, haven't you? You know, that smell that summoned us all here."

"No, I... I forgot."

Sophie fell out of Bob's grip and knocked her head on the ground.

"You, you, dropped me!"

She glared up to see Bob staring into the distance with his mouth wide open. The ground had started to tremble. The air had turned sour and rancid. There was a whoosh. Something huge, something terrible, something squishy, something that glowed with a pale green light, had crested the nearby hill and kept going, launching itself into the air like a green comet; it was headed straight for them:

> Der Glibbermeister (level 10)

End of Book 1 - The Sleeping Darkness