> Pioneer Evolution Confirmed.
>
> Assigning World Avatar...
>
> World Avatar Assigned.
>
>
> Identifying World Lord...
>
> World Lord Identified.
>
> World Lord == World Avatar.
>
> Skipping Lord Realignment Quest...
>
>
> Confirming World Lord Title.
>
> World Lord Title Confirmed.
>
> World Lord Evolution Confirmed.
>
>
> Initiating World Evolution...
>
> Calculating World Evolution strategy...
>
> World Evolution strategy confirmed.
> World Evolution In Progress:
>
> Remaining Time: 02:30:00
Bob read through the text. He considered. He read through the text again. He considered. He read through the text a third time. He had stopped thinking entirely. If he was supposed to know what it all meant, he didn't. End of story.
It wasn't a vocabulary issue. There weren't any difficult words per se. Grammatically as well, the sentences were simple and short. Meaning though doesn't exist just in the words or grammar of a sentence. It's in how the sentence is used. Its position in an invisible sky of context. You can't see a constellation by looking at one star can you?
Thankfully he had a couple more notifications and he expected they'd clear things up nicely. The system wanted him to understand after all. He couldn't be properly annoyed or terrified unless he understood exactly how screwed he was. Ignorance is a bliss the system wouldn't allow him.
> Achievement: Frontrunner (Rank D)
>
>
> I'm number one.
>
>
> Effect:
>
> * a major bonus to will
> * System Sponsorship Rank Increase
> Title: System Sponsorship (Rank C)
>
>
> Do I know your name? Are you..? No, forget it, I'm thinking of someone else.
>
>
> Effects:
>
> * 5000 credits each level up
> * rare item + 50,000 credits each rank evolution
Where is the poison? Bob sipped on the notifications. He tapped his chest, he tried breathing in and out. You know these notification are almost friendly. The descriptions are even mildly flattering. A far throw from my earlier achievements (does anybody still remember Cockroach)?
> Title: World Avatar (Rank D)
>
>
> Sentient Representative of the Planet Earth.
>
>
> Effects:
>
> * increased level decay
> * boost in mana regeneration
Level decay? Decay wasn't a happy word. Level decay. The thing sounded serious, worrying. Like someone had just told you that you had a small tumor somewhere in your body. Someone call the system doctor. The guy who can explain to you what these various test results mean and proscribe you pills to combat an inevitable, crushing sense of powerlessness.
At least a bump to mana regeneration was nice.
Hello Positive side Bob, I thought you died years ago.
Hey, don't knock mana regeneration. Remember Bob, whatever they say on paper, take away your magical powers and you're only a crippled, out of shape human.
There he is. The Bob we know and love, a beacon of negativity.
> Title Upgraded: Lord of Earth (provisional) Lord of Earth (nascent)
>
>
> Title: Lord of Earth (nascent)
>
>
> All hail Bob Brown, Lord of Earth in-training
>
>
> Effects:
>
> * a significant bonus to will
> * a significant bonus to luck
What had changed? "Provisional" had gone to "nascent" and "for now" to "in-training". That was all. The effects were just as before. What had the system logs said: "World Lord Title Confirmed". A provisional title sounded like a trial run. It was something you could be stripped of. A nascent title did not. It sounded like something you were, something you grew into. And how do you become the full-on, big-boy World Lord? Easy, conquer the world.
Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings.
The sum effect of this confirmation was just to tell Bob: you are never getting rid of this title. This title and its corresponding death quest. Of course, Bob had never even dreamed of doing so. He had certainly not laid awake at night and prayed some try-hard, short-sighted ambition-weasel might take the thing off his hands. That doesn't sound like our Bob does it?
Nope. Bob was the big cheese. The stinkiest motherfucker on the block. He was the evolution pioneer, the world avatar, the lord of earth. He was a somebody. And somebodies don't get to spend their whole day slouching on the couch and reading fantasy. Somebodies have it hard.
Into the breech. Bob prepared himself for the next notification. This would be the one. The turnaround, the twist, the poison at the bottom of the glass. What? There was no next notification. That had been the last one. He'd done it. He drunk down his notification draft to the dregs and he was still standing. He hadn't been betrayed. He couldn't believe it.
"Okay then, well let's see what all these titles and achievements have done for my stats. I must be a real monster at this point. "
> Name: Robert Brown
>
> Race: Human (lesser)
>
> Class: Heaven's Fool
>
> Level: 10 (0%)
>
> Rank: D
>
> Wealth: 4,921,300 credits
>
>
> Stats:
>
> Strength - average
>
> Dexterity - above average
>
> Vitality - lifeless
>
> Constitution - decrepit
>
> Wisdom - worm
>
> Intelligence - smart
>
> Will - strong
>
> Luck - cheat
What the hell? He wasn't imagining things right? He was weaker. Like significantly weaker. Everything but his will had dropped at least a tier, some two tiers. Had he missed a notification somewhere? How was this legal, for the system to unilaterally nerf him without permission or warning? Don't spout some nonsense about balance and being OP. He was not having this.
An idea occurred to Bob. A sensible idea. A simple and compelling explanation to the phenomena confronting him. Stats scaled to rank. He'd just ranked up from E to D. A prodigious intellect among the Es was only average among D rankers. A poor constitution for a E was feeble for a D. Thankfully, worm wisdom was worm wisdom across all ranks.
Rationally Bob understood. His underlying values hadn't changed. If anything they should have all increased given his rational evolution and his slew of achievements. Rationally he understood. Emotionally he did not. Emotionally he felt like he'd regressed, gotten weaker, fallen behind.
"Why can't the system use numbers like every other litrpg out there? What are you doing going out of your way to be different? We have a proven model here. Everybody loved it. A defining characteristic of the genre."
"Look, let me tell you how the genre is supposed to work. Each level up, the players status is increased by an objective, numeric value. A reader sees that and feels warm inside. Progress. Progress. Our hero is stronger than he was five pages ago. He's bigger, badder and more powerful than ever before. Each evolution he's supposed to experience explosive growth, like unbelievable, completely implausible growth. Like every enemy he previously struggled against, he could now crush with his little finger. "
"And after two or three evolutions, the numbers should be beyond ridiculous, like in the tens of thousands. Monster numbers. That you don't even bother reading, because they've lost all sense of proportion. And that doesn't matter. Of course the stats don't scale. It's just enjoyable to watch them grow. It's the same feeling that keeps billionaires working at the grind. There's something universally pleasant, comforting, about seeing numbers roll up higher and higher. It's all meaningless in the grand scheme of things. What's important is the feeling."
"You follow me, system? You understand? And yes, of course, your approach is more practical. Your stats are actually meaningful. They stay perpetually relevant. They tell me exactly where I stand versus my rank peers. But you're missing the point of the genre. You're missing the joy of progress. You're missing... the essence. Ah. Why do I bother explaining myself to a program. You'll never understand."
> Stat Reference Rank - D
What was that? The system had gone out of its way to highlight a setting buried deep in his interface. Stat Reference Rank. The D was selectable. There were options all from way to E to S. The system had listened. Bob had ranted and rambled and the system had heard.
"You know, system, maybe you're better than I give you credit for. I'm mighty glad you've been able to appreciate the core appeal of the litrpg genre. If you ever get some free time, maybe I can recommend you a couple books to read. Only the best."
Time to bask in self-satisfaction. Time to experience the true bliss of evolution. Time to feel unreasonably good about oneself. Bob rolled the reference rank back down to E.
> Stats:
>
> Strength - mighty
>
> Dexterity - lithe
>
> Vitality - average
>
> Constitution - frail
>
> Wisdom - worm
>
> Intelligent - genius
>
> Will - lordly
>
> Luck - cheat
He was mighty of strength, an intellectual genius, a lithe assassin, a lordly will and an absolutely luck-cheat. There was no comparison between himself and those lowly E rankers. They were ants crawling on the surface of the earth, cowering lest the feet of the colossus should come down on their heads.
He frowned. He was the greatest hero of the age and yet... he had the wisdom of an earthworm. That major boost to all base stats, hadn't been enough to bump it up to feeble. Really system, really? Well thankfully he'd just learned how to meditate; maybe he'd be able to acquire some wisdom the traditional way.
"Evolution check. Notifications check. Stats check. Get me out of here system."
> World Evolution In Progress:
>
> Remaining Time: 02:23:04
"Two and a half hours. What you are just going to make me sit here? For two hours. Can you at least give me something to do?"
He sat down. It was surprisingly difficult in this dimensionless white void. He couldn't tell if he was actually sitting or if he had just taken on the position of seating. Either way it was better than standing. Bob checked the timer again.
> World Evolution In Progress:
>
> Remaining Time: 02:22:31
Only thirty seconds had passed. Bob fiddled his thumbs. He wiggled his toes. He did a couple lazy neck circles. He played with the hem of his cloak. He thought about sleeping, but surprisingly he'd didn't feel tired. Something about his stats or his evolution. The stark white room didn't particularly help. He checked the time again.
> World Evolution In Progress:
>
> Remaining Time: 02:22:12
Only twenty seconds had passed.
"Bloody hell. Didn't I say the evolution process would be painful? You remember me saying that right. I knew it. I knew it from the very beginning. The boredom torture. The brain needs stimulation like the body needs oxygen. The nerve cells will slowly starve to death. This has got to be against the Geneva Convention. "
Bob fumbled through his pockets. Like they'd be something in there. Fat chance. There was something in there. And not just something. Bob pulled out a fresh copy of Jonny the Man - the Kiwi Warriors. It was in pristine condition, straight off the press, the lettering crisp, the colors vivid. Bob wafted a little of that new book smell into his nose.
"I take it all back. Every last word. I have never met a more honorable system. This here is exactly what the hero needs after his grand evolution."
Two hours R&D. Two hours with nothing to do but cuddle up with a book and read away the day. Even somebodies catch a break now and again.