Chet Watakeekul

"Chet!"

I turned around to see who called me. It was that girl that sat near me in my finance class. Melanie. Or maybe Melissa. Yes, Melissa. Her dark, wavy hair blew away from her pale face as a gust of Autumn wind brushed passed us. Trees lined the sidewalk behind us. Their leaves had yet to change, but they would soon. She adjusted her backpack over her shoulder as she walked towards me.

"Hi," I said.

"Hi." She arrived and bit her bottom lip. "So...," she said.

"So...?" I repeated, but she didn't supply anything more. Did I make her nervous? I didn't think I was intimidating. I was sure I wasn't. Was I? No. It must have been something else.

"Did you finish the finance assignment?" I asked breaking the silence.

She smiled in relief. Her brown eyes lit up happily. "Yes. Did you?"

"Yes," I said.

More silence. What did she want?

"You're on the soccer team right?" she finally asked. "I overheard some people saying you had a soccer scholarship."

"Yes." I was going to miss my bus if she talked too much longer. Normally I loved to talk, but not if it meant missing my bus. "Do you like soccer?"

"Yes," she lied. I wasn't sure why she lied, but she lied. It didn't really matter to me if she liked soccer or not.

"Do you like any other sports or just soccer?"

"I like all kinds of sports," I said. "I really only play soccer and baseball though. My build doesn't fit with football or basketball. I'm best at soccer. And it's my favorite." I stopped before I started rambling.

"When is your next game? Would you mind if I came to watch?"

And I suddenly understood what she really wanted. See, Jimmy, I wasn't that oblivious. I had told him I had been on plenty of dates which I was pretty sure he had seen through, but there was a reason I hadn't gone on any dates and it wasn't because I hadn't been asked.

I shifted slightly away from her. Not enough for her to really notice, but to give me some space so I could feel comfortable again.

"Tomorrow at 3. You can come if you want. I can introduce you to the guys on the team. There are a lot of great guys."

"Oh." That didn't go in the direction she had wanted it to and I had done it that way on purpose.

"I'm going to go," I said. "I'll miss my bus if I don't hurry." But I didn't want her to feel too bad so I added, "Hope to see you tomorrow." I immediately regretted it when she smiled.

"See you tomorrow," she said cheerfully.

I turned and rushed to the bus stop. The bus arrived just as I did. I found a spot near the back and sat. The problem wasn't with Melissa. She was pretty. They were always pretty - or the few times I was asked out by guys they were handsome. The problem wasn't with any of them. The problem was with me. I had never, not once in my life, actually been attracted to someone. I didn't want to force something that wasn't there. It wasn't fair to them. I could be holding them back from the true loves of their lives for something that wasn't going to work out in the end. I mean, how long could you date someone when you had no desire to kiss them.

Hopefully nothing would happen with Melissa and if she tried to pursue it, that was a problem for the future. I turned my thoughts to soccer, the game tomorrow, possible strategies for future games, how I thought the coach might direct us in certain scenarios.

Twenty minutes later, I exited the bus at my stop. It was a short distance to my house among the other houses.

I opened the door and exclaimed, "I'm home. Let the happiness begin."

My sister threw a book at me. "Do you always have to come in like that?"

I smiled grandly. "You love me."

She rolled her dark eyes, but the corners of her mouth turned up into a smile. I picked up her book and tossed it back to her. She caught it easily and reclined back on the couch.

I kicked off my shoes and put my backpack down inside my bedroom. I went back into the living room and shoved - not too roughly - Kannika's feet off the couch so I could sit.

"Rude," she said.

"Back at ya, sis," I said. "Dad's not home yet?"

"No," she said.

"So then mom is home and the ramen noodles I smell aren't a figment of my imagination?"

"Correct," she said to me without looking up from her book.

"Ugh. Can't she just order a pizza?" My mom was not known for her cooking. My dad on the other hand could make a mean pad thai. Great. Now I was craving pad thai.

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"We had pizza last night," Kannika said.

"I should have taken the later bus and just eaten something by the University."

There was a light smack to the back of my head. Mom came around with a frown on her face. "I made sure to have dinner ready for you by the time you got home and this is the thanks I get?" She wasn't too mad at me because I could hear the playful undertones in her voice.

"I love you," I said with the smile I knew reminded her of when I was a baby.

She smiled. "How can I stay mad at this cute face?" she said and pinched my cheeks.

The door opened and my dad walked in. "I'm home," he said. He smiled when he saw the three of us.

"Dad," I jumped up from the couch. "Mom is making ramen, but I have a game tomorrow."

"Why are you tattle telling on me? I'm your mother."

"You can't feed him ramen noodles the night before a game," my dad said, "he needs protein."

"Carbs are more important," my mom said, but I knew she said that just because she didn't know how to cook.

"Don't worry, son," my dad said to me as he headed to the kitchen. "I'll doctor it up."

My mom sat down and turned on the television. A sigh escaped her as she sat. I knew it was a sigh of relief that she wouldn't have to eat plain ramen noodles.

"How was school today?" she asked as she flipped through channels.

"Are you asking me or Chet?" Kannika asked.

"Let's start with you," mom said.

I sat on the couch next to my little sister. She sat sideways with her knees bent up towards the ceiling and her book resting on them.

"Well, Rachel said Roman has a crush on me, but Becca said he has a crush on her and that he told her so to her face. I told them both I don't care who Roman has a crush on because I don't even like him."

"Yes you do," I said.

"Do not."

"Just yesterday you said..." She threw her book at my head. I ducked. It went over my head and crashed into the wall behind me. "Classy," I said. She kicked my thigh. Not enough to hurt me though. She wouldn't admit it to my face, but she was proud of my soccer skills and wouldn't risk me getting truly hurt by her hands...or feet.

"How was your day then?" she asked me as if it was some big challenge between us. "Anyone ask you out?"

I thought about Melissa. She hadn't really asked me out, but that was where it was headed if I couldn't politely discourage her somehow. It would be best if she didn't show up at the game tomorrow.

Kannika swung her feet to the floor and sat up straighter. "Someone asked you out?" She said it as if it was the craziest thing she had ever heard.

Mom's head swiveled our way. Now she was interested in our conversation.

"Someone asked you out?" she echoed Kannika's words.

I hadn't told anyone about my incapability to be attracted to someone because how could they understand that? And mom and dad expected grandkids someday. Of course they would accept me no matter what, I just didn't know how to tell them.

"No," I said. "No one asked me out."

"But they showed interest?" Kannika leaned forward with an eager smile.

"Maybe," I said. "Or maybe I'm misunderstanding the situation. It's too soon to tell."

"Okay," dad stuck his head out from the kitchen, "come eat."

We gathered around the wooden table in the kitchen. Dad had added eggs and some vegetables to the ramen noodles. He had also quickly put together an easy green salad.

"Thanks, dad," I said.

"I did most of the work," my mom said.

I couldn't tell her that boiling water and adding noodles and prepackaged ramen flavoring was not most of the work. "Thanks, mom," I said.

We each took turns telling about our day as we ate. I took up a lot of time talking about the game the next day. Even though I spoke the most, I also ate the fastest so we all finished about the same time.

Kannika and I stood up at the same time, but our parents gave us that look. We sat back down. Mom held dad's hand and gave it a little squeeze.

"What's going on?" Kannika asked.

"It's about your brother," my dad began.

"I don't have a brother," I said as the sudden anger welled in my chest. I stood up to leave.

"Sit down," my dad said in that tone that wouldn't tolerate disobedience. He rarely used that voice. I grudgingly sat back down next to Kannika. My sister took my hand in hers underneath the table. She was trembling slightly. Slightly enough that without the touch, I wouldn't have noticed.

"What's there to talk about?" Kannika asked softly. "He's in prison."

"He is getting out sooner than expected," my mom said.

Our parents waited. I wasn't sure why they waited. What could my sister or I say?

"He'll need a place to say," my dad finally said.

"Not here," I immediately said.

"Chet," Mom started.

"Not here," I repeated.

"We are his family," my dad said.

"He's not my family," I said. Kannika's hand began to tremble even more in my grasp. "I can't believe you'd let him come back here after what he did to Kannika."

"It was an accident," my mom said.

"An accident?" I stood up and pulled my sister up with me. "He was trying to hit me, but was so high he missed and hit her. She had a black eye. How much worse does it need to get? Until one of us gets a broken bone or worse? Not to mention all the stuff he's stolen from each of us. He doesn't care about any of us. If you bring him back here, I will take Kannika and we will leave."

I turned and started to walk away. I pulled Kannika with me.

"Okay," my dad called out desperately behind me. I stopped and slowly turned around. The first thing I noticed was the tears on my sister's cheeks as she looked up at me as if she were about to drown and I was the only one who could save her.

"Okay," my dad said more calmly. My eyes finally turned to him. My parents still sat in their seats with their hands clenched tightly together. "We'll find him somewhere else to stay."

"Yes," my mom said. "We'll find him somewhere else to stay. But please, find somehow to forgive him. He isn't using anymore."

"Only because he's in prison," I said. "How long do you think it will take him before he starts using again? This isn't his first or even his second chance, mom. I'll tell you this now, don't try to force me or Kannika to see him. Don't sneakily arrange for us to met him and then pretend it was by chance. I don't want anything to do with him."

I pulled Kannika with me into the living room. When I let go of her hand and turned to face her, her face was wet with the tears that continued to flow. She hugged me and buried her face in my shoulder. Her tears wet my shirt as I returned her hug. And I was sure she wiped her snot on my shirt too, but at the moment that was okay. That could be washed off. She needed me and I would be there for her.

We stayed that way for a long time. My parents didn't come out of the kitchen. Finally, my sister's tears stopped. She pulled away and looked up at me.

"Want to watch something?" she asked in a quiet voice.

I nodded. "Something funny," I said.

We sat on the couch and turned on the television. We found a funny movie to watch. My parents sneaked by us at one point and disappeared into their room. Kannika fell asleep halfway through the movie. I got up and made sure all the windows and doors were locked. Kannika must have woken at one point and pretended to still be asleep because she was a light sleeper and would have heard me moving around. I took Kannika's blanket off her bed. One of her many yaoi mangas was open on her night stand. I shook my head not sure why she liked that stuff so much. I went back into the living room and placed her blanket over her as she slept on the couch. Then I went to my bedroom. I turned my mind to soccer. It was the only thing that eased my mind enough to sleep.