Vincent Kinsington

Alex leaned against my apartment door as he waited for me to return home. I paused. He hadn't noticed me yet. I almost left. Alex could read me easily. If he saw me now, he'd probably figure out my plans or at least figure out I had plans.

His green eyes looked down the hallway and landed on me. Too late to escape now. I walked up to my door and he took a step to the side so I could access it. There was a tightness in his jaw and lips that told me he wasn't very happy at the moment. I surmised with me. I unlocked the door and stepped inside. I opened the door wide so he could follow me which he did. He didn't say anything when he stepped into my apartment. He didn't pause as he made his way to my bedroom.

I closed and locked the door to my apartment. My feet were heavy and didn't want to move, but I forced myself to go to the bedroom. Alex sat on my couch waiting for me. I sat down next to him.

"You were going to tell Mateo's parents?" he asked. His tone was calm, but his eyes were not.

"Does it matter now?" I asked. "You clearly know so he must know. How do you know though?"

He shook his head and stared forward at the black screen on my t.v.

"Chet?" I asked. Alex didn't answer, but I knew that must be it. I knew I had talked too much earlier and he was more perceptive than I thought he would be.

"So what is Mateo going to do now?" I asked.

"He will tell his family," Alex said. His eyes softened as he continued to look at the black screen.

"When?"

"Tomorrow."

"Then I'll wait and see what happens," I said.

Alex gave me a side-eye knowing I wasn't finished in my quest to break them up.

"Are you hoping his family will object and he'll break up with me?" Alex asked. "Do you want me to be miserable?"

"No," I slumped. I really, truly didn't want my best friend to be miserable. "I'm trying to stop that."

"Mateo isn't Jason," Alex said. "I am truly happy with him."

"And what if his family does object and he chooses them over you?"

"Then it's over," Alex said easily. "I won't waste my time fighting over someone who won't fight with me. You should know me better than that."

"I do. It's just...I don't want you hurt."

"And I already told you pain is part of life. You can't protect me completely from pain. Even if you manage to somehow succeed and break us up do you think I will be happy?"

"You'll be sad for a short time," I said, "but the pain will be less than if you get too attached to him and he breaks your heart later."

Alex smiled. "Let me feel pain, Vinny. Let me feel happiness. You can still stay by me and be my best friend but still let me be me. Still let me feel. I need to make my own choices in life."

I put the back of my head against the wall and stared up at the white ceiling. Part of me knew he was right, but a greater part of me remembered his pain in high school. That was not the normal pain people deal with day in and day out. He was hurt to the extreme. I couldn't see him like that again. I just couldn't.

"Want to play a game?" Alex asked. He waved a hand towards my gaming consoles.

"Yes," I said. I used the remote to turn on the t.v. while Alex got up to turn on the game console. He sat back beside me on the couch and handed me a controller. We selected a first person shooter game.

"Why is your shirt buttoned up so high?" I asked after a few minutes of playing.

"It's not," he said. "This is how it usually is."

I rolled my eyes. "No, it's not and you know it. What? Are you trying to hide hickeys or something?"

I was only half teasing, but from the red blush that flushed his face I guessed I was correct.

"Gross," I teased.

He gave me the side-eye again. "Like you've never gotten a hickey or given one," he said.

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"Only to meaningless dates," I said.

He shook his head, but smirked.

After about ten minutes Alex asked, "Can I borrow your apartment some time?"

"Why?" I asked.

He shrugged, but a mischievous smile touched his pink lips and he blushed again.

"This doesn't have anything to do with your boyfriend does it?" I asked.

"Maybe," he said, but now he couldn't stop smiling.

"It's not for the reason I think it is, is it?" I knew Mateo had a roommate and Alex lived at home with his mom.

"What's the reason you're thinking of?" he asked. His eyes never left the screen and his fingers worked expertly over the controller, but the blush on his face only deepened. That blush told me everything.

"Really, Alex. You're not asking to borrow my apartment so you can have sex are you?"

"There's nowhere else to do it," he said. "We'll clean up after ourselves."

"Eww. No way. I'm trying to break you up why would I lend you my apartment for that?" I died in the game. "Get your own apartment."

"I'm seriously thinking about it," he said. It surprised me because I knew he didn't want to leave his mom all alone. Her parents had died several years before and neither Alex nor his mother had anything to do with his dad or his side of the family anymore. She didn't have any siblings either. She had her grandparents, but after her grandfather stopped being governor they retired and moved to Florida. Alex was truly all she had.

"You're so horny," I teased.

"I really am," he admitted causing me to burst out laughing. It was a strange feeling - being happy that Alex was happy and yet wanting to break that same happiness in fear that it would turn into this great sadness. I was a paradox.

His phone rang at that moment. He let himself die in the game while he answered the phone. "Hello to the most beautiful mom in the world," he said with a smile.

He paused as he listened to what she had to say. He glanced at me. I got up and turned off the game console and t.v.

"I'm at Vincent's," he said. There was another slight pause before he said, "I'll ask him." Then he turned to me and asked, "Do you want to come over for dinner?"

"Sure," I said. I loved his mom.

"Are you at the gallery?" Alex said into the phone. "We'll pick you up then."

I locked up my apartment and we headed outside. "Are we taking both cars?" Alex asked. "Why don't you just ride with me and I'll bring you back afterwards."

"Okay," I said. I got into the passenger side of his car while he got into the driver's side. My long legs were scrunched up, but I didn't bother to adjust the seat. It was set for his mother I assumed and when we picked her up she would just have to readjust it again so I left it.

It didn't take us long to get to his mom's gallery. We stepped in the front door and were greeted by one of the employees. Alex led the way to the back office, but I paused.

A photographer was the featured artist of the week. Black and white photos lined the walls, but one in particular had grabbed my attention. It was of a young woman running through a field barefoot. Her wavy, long hair flew out behind her. Her white dress flowed all around her, but the thing that had caught my attention was her smile. Her eyes literally sparkled, her white teeth were bright, her cheeks lifted. She seemed genuinely happy to just be running barefoot through a field. I couldn't remember ever feeling that way.

"Coming?" Alex called out to me.

"Yeah." I left the painting and followed him to the back office.

"Hi, mom," Alex said as he opened the door and stepped inside.

"Oh, my baby." She stood up from behind the desk and kissed Alex on the cheek. She wore a floral print flowy blouse, navy blue slacks and peach high heels.

"My baby," she repeated when she saw me. I couldn't help but smile as she came up and kissed my cheek the same as she had with Alex.

"Mom," I called her.

She smiled, but said, "Don't let your mother hear you call me that, she'll freak out."

"Don't worry. I won't," I replied.

"Good," she said. She stepped passed both of us and led the way back out to Alex's car saying goodbyes to her employees as she did so.

"How does Thai food sound?" she asked as we got into the car. I got into the back seat to allow her the front.

"Good," Alex said.

Allison turned in her seat to look at me.

"Good," I replied.

She smiled. "Great. I already ordered it," she faced the front again. "We just need to stop by and get it."

"How was your day?" she asked Alex as he drove through the city. He told her all about his day excluding the part where he found out I was going to out Mateo to his parents. And he didn't volunteer that his high buttoned shirt was hiding hickeys.

"And how was your day?" she asked me when Alex had finished.

"All right," I said.

She turned in her seat to raise a pale eyebrow at me when I didn't say anything further.

I shrugged. "It was just a day, went to classes, came home, played a game with Alex and now I'm here." I left out breakfast with my mom and the encounter with Chet.

She turned again to face forward. "Then now is the highlight of your day," she said brightly.

"Yes," I readily agreed and it truly was.

Alex parked in the pick-up only spot and ran in to get the Thai food.

Allison turned to face me for a third time.

"How is everything really?" she asked with that all too knowing look Alex sometimes gave me.

"It's fine," I said. "I like living on my own."

She smiled gently at that. "Any girlfriends?" she asked.

"No," I replied.

"Don't let those high school girlfriends influence your perspective on women," she said. "Most of us aren't like that."

I smiled instead of disagreeing with her like I wanted to. "What do you think of Mateo," I asked.

"I really like him," she said. "What do you think of him?"

I faltered. "You don't think maybe he is using him like Jason did?"

She sighed. "It's possible I suppose," she said. "I feel like he is genuine, but I used to feel that way about my ex-husband before he became my ex. Even if I am wrong and Mateo is using Alex for his money, it's Alex's choice. Not mine."

I sighed. Why wasn't anyone willing to protect Alex?

"You know what he was like after Jason," I said. "Do you really want to see him like that again?"

She frowned. "No," she said. "But if it ends up that way, it still is his choice. You are both adults now. You both need to make your own choices and lead your own lives. And I really don't think Mateo will do that to him. Have you seen the way Mateo looks at my son? It's as if nothing else in the world exists in his eyes except Alex. I don't think he could fake that."

Alex came back to the car then and handed me the bags of food. I let the subject drop for the rest of the evening. I was willing to wait and see what happened at Mateo's family dinner, but I wasn't willing to let Alex get hurt again no matter what anyone else said.