There is no fate but what you make - The Word of Jawnconnor

Be crafty, keep your smoke lit and your ice cream cold. - Writing of P'Thok

It does not matter that the Thinker and Warrior androids are smarter than I am. They cannot outsmart a bullet and I have more bullets than they have brains - Vodkatrog Infantryman - First Artificial Sentience War, TerraSol

Alterverse me is pretty cool. Gotta say I'm jealous of his goatee, but he's jealous of how jacked I am, so it all works out, I guess. - Unknown Terran soldier, Second Dimensional War, TerraSol

First FTL warp I threw up inside my own skull. Don't ask how that happened. Just, trust me, early Jumpdrive was a special kind of terrible. - Colonel Manfred M. Mansworth the IV, Terra Space Agency

The first mat-trans combat drop was on We Made It!, where the Combine dropped a hundred thousand conscripts to try to stop the Mantid from overrunning the population centers once the Planetary Guard had been virtually wiped out.

We had all been told that mat-trans was perfectly safe, that we could move from far orbit to the surface of the planet in less than a second thanks to the all new Matter Transmission Type-2 System.

Sixty thousand made it to the surface intact and alive.

Eight hours later there was less than five hundred of those men and women alive.

So the Combine dropped another hundred thousand.

I can still close my eyes and hear the screams of the eighty thousand that were turned inside out or worse out of those two waves - Excerpt from: Back to the Front! A Combine Drop Troop's Autobiography

The first time I answered prayers I had a nosebleed for about four days. My brain was trying to process the fact that I was in a hundred locations at once, skipping light years in a split second, for nearly a month.

It never got easier. - Chromium Saint Peter, Finder of the Lost and the Forlorn

I just want left alone. - Daxin "The Walking Warcrime" Freeborn AKA Enraged Phillip

Vuxten ignored the stares as he walked to the Battalion TOC, trying to act like there wasn't anything strange about appearing in a burst of fire and code.

--general gonna be mad-- 471 said.

"Yeah, she is," Vuxten said. He ducked under the camo then the shrapnel net, pushed through the sterifield of the 'air lock' and into the main section of the Tactical Operations Center.

Everyone stopped and stared at him as he set down the heavy M318 on the table and unplugged the smart cabling from it, doublechecking the safeties and making sure it was unloaded. Satisfied the weapon was as safe as it was going to be, he patted it then looked around.

Everyone suddenly remembered they had things to do and went to looking busy.

--think they might have seen us sneaking back-- 471 said. --should have waited until night--

"Hardy har har," Vuxten answered, tabbing up a piece of gum and chewing on it as he made his way back to where he knew the Lieutenant Colonel and the Sergeant Major would be.

Everyone around the holotanks turned and stared at him.

"Sorry, had to run an errand," Vuxten said.

Nobody said a word. Even the officers and high ranking senior NCO's in the holotanks were silent.

Vuxten popped his helmet seal and slowly took off his helmet, taking a deep breath of the heavily filtered and cooled air inside the TOC.

General Twargark flexed her left biceps and rubbed it over the sleeve of her ACU with her right hand.

Everyone stared at Vuxten as he slowly looked around at everyone.

"You look more or less like you did," the General said after a moment. "You've got a bad case of Terran Eye, but you've had that for years according to your records."

Vuxten nodded. "Yes, sir," he said. He always found it weird that the Confederacy used male pronouns for any officer no matter what the species biology said.

"Are you going to vanish on us again, Major?" Captain Hotexak, Commanding Officer of Headquarters Company, asked, his voice carefully neutral.

"I shouldn't. Not unless something earth shaking happens," Vuxten said.

The General nodded. "Do you remember anything, Marine?" she asked.

Vuxten shook his head. "Just... I could hear whispering. I went to the medics, went to mental health and hygiene, but they didn't find anything wrong."

The General looked down, typing real quick with one hand, then nodded and looked up. "You were cleared for duty as recently as three days ago."

"Yes, sir," Vuxten said. "The voices just suddenly got overwhelming and the next thing I knew I was surrounded by the enemy. I didn't care, I just..." he paused a second then looked down. "It was like I was back on Telkan during the Second Telkan War. I just wanted to smash them all. Kill them, shoot them, burn them, obliterate them," he looked up. "It was just all consuming."

The General tapped another set of keys and Vuxten saw a window open in one of the holotank. He could tell by the slight odd cant to the video that it was recreated from multiple feeds, probably from armor, vehicles, and helmet cams.

Lighting struck the ground repeatedly, raking between the retreated Planetary Guard and the Dwellerspawn that were rushing forward, eager to finish their victory.

"NO MORE PODLING BLOOD!" rang from the speakers, followed by "INERTIA IS WITH YOU!"

The lightning cleared and Vuxten felt the tip of his sole biological ear heat with embarrassment.

Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

He stood defiant before the horde. On either side of him were warbound he recognized. All three of them opened fire at the same instant, raking the oncoming Dwellerspawn with their weapons.

Gamma and Sigma.

The two that he been with him beneath the mountain.

I was with you, when you needed me, beneath the mountain, the voice of the Digital Omnimessiah whispered from his memories.

"We used the hypercom yesterday. Both of those Warbound are currently in their tombs on Telkan," the General said. She flexed an arm again and rubbed her sleeve. "Then there's this one, the last recorded sighting."

This time Daxin dropped down next to him as Vuxten watched. The black iron chains shattered into red-hot shrapnel that swept over the Dwellerspawn, rending them apart.

Where Vuxten raked the leading edge of the Dwellerspawn horde with his M318, Daxin fired quick bursts that dropped each target, pinpointing larger ones and what Vuxten knew were leadership and command castes. FIDO's back mounted miniguns raked the front as lightning struck on either side of Vuxten and Daxin, the bolts clearing to reveal the two Warbound.

Then the fight was over. The Warbound vanished in white and gold flame as Vuxten stood silent for a moment. Daxin put his hand on Vuxten's shoulder and there was a puff of red and black hellfire.

When it cleared, Vuxten, Daxin, and FIDO were gone.

"Then you were missing for almost forty-eight hours," the General said. She wiped away the two holographic windows. "Technically, you were AWOL."

"I know, sir," Vuxten said, the back of his neck and face hot and tingling. "I was..." he sighed. "I lost control. Daxin had to come get me. I couldn't shut out the voices. All those people," he looked down. "All of them calling out to me, begging me, pleading with me, to help them. I couldn't stop, I couldn't ignore them."

The General nodded, rubbing her arm in what Vuxten had come to realize was a nervous habit. "And now?"

Vuxten moved over to one of the heavy chairs that could support his armor's weight, sitting down slowly and carefully while everyone watched. He took off his gauntlets and slapped them on the magstrip belt.

"I sat with the Digital Omnimessiah, listened to the wisdom and advice of my brothers and sisters, the original Biological Apostles that still survive," Vuxten said. He clenched his hands. "I never wanted anything like that. Even when I was a podling, I just wanted to be safe, warm, and happy."

Lieutenant Colonel Dartrum moved over and sat down next to Vuxten. "There's nothing wrong with that," the Kobold said softly.

Vuxten looked up. "I don't want to walk away from it. I don't want to leave those people without help," he said. He looked back down. "But like I told the Digital Omnimessiah, I'm a Telkani, a male Telkan, we're a small people, caught up in a big thing."

"Clear the room. Chain of Command only," the General snapped.

Vuxten was only partially aware of people rushing out.

"I just want to be at home with my wife, my broodcarriers, my podlings, but I can't turn away now, not when the entire galactic arm is at war. Other people's spouses, broodcarriers, and podlings are in danger," Vuxten looked up, focusing on the General.

"But I can't shoulder the burden of being one of the Apostles, one of the Immortals," he said. He looked down. "I don't want to be like Daxin."

There was silence a moment.

"I don't want to be ripped away from my family, for thousands of years to go by, while my body and soul grow cold," Vuxten said. "I just want to do my part, what little I can in this war, then go home."

There was silence in the TOC.

"I don't want to turn my back on everyone calling out to me, but I can't have it both ways," Vuxten said. He heaved a sigh. "The Digital Omnimessiah, he understood. So did my brothers and sisters."

Vuxten looked up. "More than a few of them told me to just go home. Set aside my weapons and armor as well as the mantle. A few told me to go back to the Corps, fight the war, and then go home."

Vuxten looked back down. "Not even Armored Matthias suggested I turn my back on my wife, my broodcarriers, my podlings, or my people, and just become the mantle. Matthias reminded me that it is the simplest choices that are the hardest."

After a moment of silence Colonel Dartrum spoke up.

"What did you decide to do, Major?" the Commanding Officer of the Battalion asked.

"To set aside the mantle. To just be Vuxten. A Telkan Major in the Telkan Marine Corps, husband to Brentili'ik, Synthal'la and Ilmata'at, father to my podlings," Vuxten said quietly. He patted his armored knee. "471 and I talked it over too," he looked up. "He said he was with me, no matter what my decision."

--ride or die-- 471 flashed the emojis over his holotank icon.

"All right, Major," the General said after a long moment. "Go see the medics, then check in with mental health and trauma counselling. If they clear you, I want you back on duty."

"Yes, sir," Vuxten said. He got up. "If you'll excuse me."

"Carry on, Major," the General said. "Colonel, about Fifth Regiment's food forge issue."

Vuxten quietly left, stopping by to pick up the inlaid and engraved 20mm autocannon. It synched up as soon as he was within ten steps of it, feeling like warm molasses poured on a body part he wasn't even aware had gotten cold.

The Armorer and Armor Master both gave Vuxten's armor and weapons the long suffering looks of two troops who knew what they had to care for were so far out of regs it wasn't even funny any more but also knew that there was nothing they could do about.

The Armorer secretly suspected if he tried to bring the submachine gun, the cutting bar, the battle rifle, or the 20mm autocannon into specs he'd be hit by lightning.

The Armor Master knew that he'd have to put up with green mantids sidling up when they thought he wasn't looking and touching the engineer housing on the back before running away, as well as Telkan who 'just wanted to see, you know, it' lurking about.

Vuxten knelt down and let 471 climb up his arm to stand on his shoulder then headed out to find where they'd stashed the mental health and psychological trauma clinic.

-----

Legion walked in and leaned against the wall, watching Daxin. The big man was kneeling down beside his heavy Imperium armor, the knee housing removed, tools in his hand.

"Whacha doin, Dax?" Legion asked, drawing out the first word.

"Mind yer business," Daxin rumbled.

Legion moved around and knelt down. He reached out and touched the housing on the knee for a moment then shifted his finger and pointed at a molycirc block. "That one's got a floating point error that crops up at optimum temperature due to tachyon drift across the electron wire. Manufacturer defect."

Daxin rolled his eyes. "I only spent an hour going over every piece of molecular circuitry in this thing," he pulled the block and replaced it. "Thanks."

"What's with the maintenance?" Legion asked, standing back up and walked over to where Daxin had thoughtfully set down a six pack of beer that was Legion's favorite kind.

Free.

"What the kid said got me," Daxin sighed. "I'm sitting around watching eight thousand year old reality shows and feeling sorry for myself and he's out there giving it every little bit he's got."

"What happened to 'I'm old and tired and just want to be left alone' that you've been spouting?" Legion asked, cracking open the beer. He smiled around the mouth of the bottle when Daxin glared at him.

"Things are different now," Daxin said.

"Ah," Legion wiped his mouth and smiled. "How different, Dax?"

The door whooshed open and Matthias stepped into the room, holding up a plastic bag full of cans. "I found a working soda pop machine, Dax! They had your favorite?"

Matthias was smiling, carefree looking.

And out of his armor.

"Hey, Dhruv!" Matthias smiled. He dug in the bag and tossed Legion a can. "Found Lemon Lime and Strawberry!"

"Uh, Thanks, Matty," Legion said. He glanced at Daxin and gave him a slow nod. "Very different, I see."

"It's time to just let it go," Dax said, putting the armor back on and setting it in place with a good slap to the top of the warsteel plating.

"When do you want to help the fox guy?" Matthias asked.

Daxin sighed. "Dammit, Matty."

"What?" Matthias asked. He lifted up his can of soda. "Sexy battery acid, my favorite."

Daxin just sighed again.

"I'll get whoever wants to go," Legion said, finishing off the beer and putting the bottle back in the carrier. He took a second to unbend the cap and push it back on, then turned the carrier around.

"Maybe it was just going to be Matty and me," Daxin grumbled.

"Tough. It's a family road trip now," Legion said. He stopped at the door. "Although I don't think Pete is going to go. Should I stop by that convent and see if that Neko-Marine wants to go? She seemed pretty enamored with you, Dax."

Legion laughed and ducked out of the doorway as the wrench sailed by him.

"Jackass," Daxin grunted.

Matty smiled.

"And stop smiling at me," Daxin grumbled, turning around and looking at his SMG. He started taking apart the casing and paused.

"I can feel you still smiling at me."

"I'm just glad to be back and have my head clear. No more whispers, you know?"

"Yeah. I get it, kid," Daxin said.

"This is gonna be fun," Matthias said.

Daxin just grunted.