and then, once the Great and Powerful All Seeing Microsoft had ensured that every single computer had their operating system on it...
>AKLTAK tenses
THEY CONNECTED ALL OF THEM TO A NETWORK GLOBALLY!
>TELKAN gasps
TNVARU> Digital Omnimessiah protect us!
>PUBVIA shines the light under their face to deepen the shadows around their eyes
and then, they allowed anyone to log on!
>AKLTAK gasps
and say anything they WANTED! To ANYONE! And it was illegal for the governments of the world to stop them!
>TELKAN hides their face under their paws
TNVARU> THE MADNESS OF THE LEMURS!
>TREANA'AD laughs spookily
They could even send pictures and video with sound! TO ANYONE! ANYWHERE! AT ANY TIME! AND NOBODY COULD STOP THEM!
>LEEBAW screams and hides
HAKANIAN> Digital Saints preserve us!
And then, not content with that, before even developing virtual intelligence assistants, they began hooking up COMMON HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCES! And then...
...they integrated their military into the global electronic information network.
Without virtual or artificial intelligence oversight.
>TNVARU screams in fear
But that is not all...
>TELKAN shivers in fear
The created hand held communications devices, with batteries made of crude lithium-ion
>AKLTAK gasps
that all had high definition cameras on them.
THAT THEY COULD USE ANYWHERE!
>LEEBAW shrieks in fear
A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.
AND POSTED PICTURES OF THEIR YOUNG FOR OTHER PEOPLE TO VIEW!
>TNVARU gasps in shock
Oh, but witness the insanity and depravity of the Terran lemurs, young ones...
For they were not content with just global communication of real life, but they invented...
VIDEO GAMES!
Where a being could pretend to be anyone, playing through a story of complete imagination! They could even fully immerse themselves in PRETENDING TO BE SOMEONE ELSE!
>HAKANIAN fluffs their fur with anxiety
EVEN ANOTHER SEX!
>TELKAN gasps
EVEN ANOTHER SPECIES
>AKLTAK swoons
All from the comfort of their own homes. They even had CONTESTS of who could make the best imagined world, with the most imagined story, and the strangest, most complex, rules for the imaginary world. They even recreated realistic COMBAT simulators of great wars of their histories, and fought them in brutal digital combat...
FOR ENJOYMENT!
TNVARU> May the Gods have mercy!
They even fought one another upon these digital battlefields! Screaming and howling their war cries that caused fear in all who were not one of the howled savages known as Eff-Pee-Ess-Ers. Such howling savage utterances as "PWND!" and "RAWKAT HOOR!" and "WEEK!"
LEEBAW> Madness!
Oh, but you haven't heard the real terror, the real madness of the Terran lemurs...
>TELKAN shivers with fear
You see, when they developed the global communication and commerce infrastructure, unlike all of us, they were not one society, one people, under one banner...
>PUBVIAN turns off flashlight
they still had...
>AKLTAK shivers in the dark
>PUBVIAN turns on flashlight, illuminating part of their face
COMPETING NATION STATES!
>LEEBAW screams in fear
>TNVARU swoon
>TELKAN closes his eyes and shivers in terror
>HAKANIAN screams
>AKLTAK curls up in fear
>HAMAROOSA gasps in fright
And each nation had different currencies! Each worth a different amount compared to the others!
>HAMAROOSA passed out from shock
>TNVARU screams at the madness
AND SPOKE DIFFERENT LANGUAGES!
>AKLTAK shudders
>MANTID FREE WORLDS HAS LOGGED ON
ALL>SCREAM
MANTID FREE WORLDS
What's going on in here? Why are the lights out?
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
TREANA'AD HIVE WORLDS
Testing something.
>TREANA'AD sets room lighting to ++
>MANTID looks at PUBVIA
MANTID FREE WORLDS
Are you scaring the children with ghost stories?
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
PUBVIAN DOMINION
No.
+i flashlight.dll
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
TREANA'AD HIVE WORLDS
We were talking about... um... things.
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
MANTID FREE WORLDS
Is he scaring you?
ALL> No.
OK. Has anyone seen BASS?
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
TREANA'AD HIVE WORLDS
He went to check the interstellar communications temporal stabilizers in the Gamma Quadrant.
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
MANTID FREE WORLDS
All right. Tell him I'm looking for him.
---NOTHING FOLLOWS---
>MANTID FREE WORLDS HAS LEFT THE CHAT
...
...
...
>TREANA'AD has set room lighting to --+
>PUBVIA has set flashlight to -i
How long did it take you to go from crude powered flight with single stroke combustion engines or steam engines to faster than the speed of sound? A hundred years? A thousand? Ten thousand?
>TREANA'AD laughs spookily
>LEEBAW looks around and shivers
>TNVARU moves closer to LEEBAW
Gather round, children, and hear the tale of the Titan Yeager, who flew faster than the speed of sound...
>TELKAN tenses
PROPELLED BY PETROLEUM!
>AKLTAK screams in fear
MANTID FREE WORLDS SETS STATUS TO -i
AHA! I KNEW IT!
STOP SCARING THE CHILDREN!
The Titan Chuck Yeager is a myth, like the Tooth Fairy, or Digital Saint Nick, or the Queen of France!