The hardest thing to ever do is to accept your limitations.
The second hardest thing to do is to realize you have limitations. - Unknown, Terra, Resource Wars Era, Pre-Glassing
Vuxten bowed his head as the glittering hand of code made flesh touched his brow.
"You are carrying a heavy burden, my son," the Digital Omnimessiah said softly. "One that you do not feel worthy of even as you richly desire to set it aside."
"Yes," Vuxten breathed. "I'm just a Telkani, a Telkan male. My people are a small people, caught up in such a large thing."
The Digital Omnimessiah moved over and sat next to Vuxten, picking up a single grain of dirt from the ground. "Much like this wondrous thing," the Digital Omnimessiah mused. "By itself, it appears to be of little consequence. A minor irritation if it is lodged in the eye or the breathing gills, but alone, it appears to have little to no value."
Vuxten nodded.
The Digital Omnimessiah reached down and put the grain of dirt back onto the packed earth surrounding the campfire.
"Yet together, we stand upon it and all of its brethren. It makes up the world, gives nourishment to the plants, is arranged in lovely vistas," the Digital Omnimessiah motioned at the surroundings. "From it and its uncounted trillions of those like it spring the great trees of this world. It cradles the river as the water winds its way to the oceans, and warms the mountains like a second skin," he said. He touched Vuxten's shoulder.
Vuxten could feel the gentle warmth coming from the hand spread through his arm and chest.
my flesh grew cold...
"Do not denigrate yourself, my son," the Digital Omnimessiah said. "Your people are a small people, yes, caught up in a great thing, without a doubt, but the universe would be a sadder place without your people and their efforts."
Vuxten just nodded. He looked up and saw that the rest of the Immortals, many of the Biological Apostles had come into the clearing and were sitting down.
Oddly, the massively armored form of Matthias sat next to Daxin, who was handing the younger man a narcobrew while pointedly not looking at him.
"I don't want to spurn your gift. I don't want to insult you," Vuxten said. He looked back down. "But... they call out to me. I can't block out their voices."
"And you want to help them," the Digital Omnimessiah said gently. "You reach out to them out of compassion."
Vuxten nodded.
"You find yourself filled with rage, with wrath, as you try to protect them in their darkest hour," the Digital Omnimessiah said quietly. "Even as you help them, you can hear more and more of them calling out to you, each in terrible need."
"Yes," Vuxten whispered.
"You fear losing yourself."
"Yes."
There was quiet for a long moment, the only noise the insects and the far off babbling of the brook.
"We all had the same thing happen, kid," Daxin said. He cracked open another narcobrew and took a long drink. "Thousands, millions crying out to us," he looked at the fire and then pointed one finger at Menhit. "Will you?"
Menhit puffed out a stream of smoke from her pipe, smiling, and twitched one finger.
The logs flew from where they were stacked, into the fire pit, stacking up, then were sudden engulfed in flame.
"Thank you," Daxin said. He stared at the fire, the dancing flames reflected in his eyes. "Eventually, kid, you can learn to ignore them."
Vuxten looked at the man everyone called Enraged Phillip, then at the Digital Omnimessiah, who nodded gravely.
"I don't want to ignore them," Vuxten said. He rubbed his eyes, the cybereye rough and hard against his palm pads. "I want to help them."
"We all did, kid," Daxin said, his voice thick with something Vuxten didn't understand or perhaps hadn't learned yet.
"I felt the same way," Dhruv said, dressed in comfortable loose clothing. His t-shirt bore the logo of a green mantid synth-metal band. "Up until that call."
"Ugh, that plea," Daxin grunted.
"That plea?" Vuxten asked.
The Digital Omnimessiah gave a soft laugh. "The one that made them stop and realize a truth."
"What truth?" Vuxten asked.
The Digital Omnimessiah smiled sadly. "That there are those who will ask others to do for them what they are too slothful, prideful, or apathetic to do but have no issue with requesting others perform the task."
"Sometimes, they asked so that the blood would not get on their hands," Bellona said. She lifted her left hand and looked at her fingernails. "They called to me, the Mistress of the Black Fleet, to cast down their foes, to keep them from harm, to prevent their foes from wiping them out."
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"Did you?" Vuxten asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
"Almost," Bellona said. She dropped her hand. "Their 'foe' had not attacked them. They were vile pacifists with the horrible ethos of peace and destructive harmony who dared enjoy their pathetic lives of freedom and love and ugly compassion," her voice was terrible in its mocking tone. "The ones calling on me desired those people wiped out because they just did not like them, no other reason," she looked down. "That's not how it turned out."
"How did it turn out?" Vuxten asked.
"Drink this, you're going to need it," Dhruv said softly, handing him the whiskey bottle.
Bellona stared at Vuxten with the burning purple flames that had replaced her eyes. "I turned the firepower of the Black Fleet upon them for daring to attempt to beguile and harness me to their whims," she held up one fist. "I planet cracked them as a warning for all to never call upon me again. That no longer would the Black Fleet and its Undying Mistress heed the calls and prayers of mortals."
"Oh," Vuxten said. He took a drink of the bottle, swallowing convusively. "Oh."
Dhruv laughed suddenly, shockingly out of place. "Behold, Bellona's compassion and mercy."
Bellona flushed slightly, her cold cheeks turning a slightly darker blue. "Don't tease me, brother, or I'll tell everyone what made you give up."
Everyone turned and looked at Dhruv, who looked at everyone else.
"What made you give up?" Vuxten asked, wiping his mouth after another drink.
"Yes, brother, what made you give up?" Menhit asked. "I have often been curious what drove you to set down the mantle, beyond what the Imperium had done to us."
Dhruv flushed, his brown skin getting darker, then looked up, smiling. "All right, since our youngest brother asked, I'll tell you," he looked at everyone. "I warn you, it's a shocking tale."
"He said to the people who planet cracked or burnt the world to a cinder those who grew too full of themselves with their demands," Daxin rumbled.
Dhruv laughed. "All right," he looked around. "I'd been in the Varthess Cluster, defending them from some species or other that had come out of the gulf between the Galactic Arms. The fighting had wound down and it looked like no more were coming when I heard a plea. Heard it plain as day.
He took a sip of his narcobrew and looked around. "I still remember it. A woman's voice. Full of exhaustion, full of defeat. She said "By Vat-Grown Luke, won't anyone help me? Won't anyone give me any assistance?"
Dhruv stood up, next to the fire, waving his hands. "The guns had cleared, the breeches unloaded, and this sole woman's cry came to me across the galactic arm, ringing in my head, the voice of one harried and pushed to exhaustion and defeat. Her foes had beset her until her strength was gone and all she could do was cry out to an uncaring malevolent universe for succor!
Vuxten found himself staring, entranced.
"Lo, did I order the Fleet of One to race to her aid. Lo, did Legion of me man the guns, load into the drop-pods, prepare the gunships! Lo, did I gird myself for battle as I came into the system with the roar of 'LEGION IS HERE' ringing through the system with such volume that the sun shuddered in fear!
Dhruv took a drink of his beer and continued.
"I sent my core self, The One, to where her plea had come from, weapon in hand, girded in armor, prepared to call down the wrath of the Fleet of One and the Army of One upon this world to defend her!
"I found her, collapsed from exhaustion, her foes screaming their war cries about her! Bereft she was of strength, surrounding her was the debris from the fierce battle she had been engaged in for days, nay, for weeks as her foes gave her no respite, no rest, no quarter!
"Their mouths screeched, their fists clenched, their feet kicking, they demanded the woman serve them as she lay, beaten and defeated, upon the very floor!
Dhruv looked at everyone and Vuxten realized everyone was leaning forward, as entranced as he was with the story.
"I realized, standing over her exhausted body, that I, and only I, could help her in this time of drastic need! I bade the good woman to struggle to her feet, to take my hand and not only would I lift her body but I would lift her spirit and help her shoulder her burdens as we faced her unstoppable and implacable foes together.
Dhruv's smile got wide.
"So I helped her fold the laundry, do the dishes, clean the house, and put the three month old quintuplets to bed, then left."
There was dead silence.
Kalki burst out laughing.
"You know, that story is exactly why people have an overwhelming urge to punch you in the face," Daxin growled, then started laughing.
Even Vuxten found himself laughing along.
"Do you get it, kid?" Dhruv asked, sitting down.
Vuxten shook his head. "No."
"Eventually, you'll have people asking you to mop and vacuum the floor, or carry them to the store, or try to pray to you to kill their math teacher so they don't have to finish their homework," Kalki said. He looked away. "Or worse, the constant killing, battle, wrath, and warfare, will find something inside of you to twist until you become a monster."
Vuxten noticed the self-loathing look on Kalki's face.
"I was willing to kill more humans than we even knew existed because it was easier to defeat the mantid with a planet cracker than bother to actually save people I had come to hold in contempt as weak and unworthy," Kalki said. "I was only stopped in my madness by the love my spurned brother had for me."
Daxin tossed Kalki a bottle. "Well, that and a couple of right hooks."
Kalki chuckled.
"It was the death of everyone I knew and cared about, one after another, as time marched on and passed me by," Bellona said softly. "Eventually, I found myself gravitating away from people, following wrath," she looked uncomfortable. "I turned to zealotry and wrath, let the madness consume me, released the Black Fleet onto an unsuspecting universe.
She looked at her nails again. "Anything to no longer remember that He was gone and everyone I had ever known had died their second deaths when someone said their name for the last time.
She dropped her hand. "Even me."
Vuxten nodded.
"My son," the Digital Omnimessiah said, bringing Vuxten's attention back to him. "My love, my compassion for you, does not hinge on you carrying this burden," he said. He sighed. "I will not judge you for setting aside a mantle that you neither asked for nor wanted."
His hand was warm on Vuxten's shoulder.
"Not one of us will think any less of you, kid," Daxin rumbled. He looked around. "Do you know what you and I have in common that nobody else does?"
Vuxten shook his head.
"It's why I understand why you want to set it down better than everyone here," Daxin said. He turned his hand up and Vuxten could see three female Terrans waving from a blurry hologram. "Them. My wife. My daughters."
Daxin closed his hand and the hologram vanished in spray of sparks.
"Still in the system. One daughter is a Sleeping One, my wife and other daughter are dead," he pointed at Dhruv, "But my overly clever brother figured out how to get them back once and part of me wants him to do it again."
Daxin sighed. "But, unlike you, the universe has moved on. Eight thousand years have gone by for me, for them no time at all will have passed. I have eight thousand years of hatreds, grievances, experiences, and warfare carved into my skin.
He opened the hand again and touched the hologram with the fingertips of the other hand. "They don't. They're still clean, still new."
Daxin looked Vuxten in the eyes. "Your family is alive. I not only understand your desire to set aside the mantle, but I encourage you to, kid."
Vuxten nodded.
"Pete says he can do it," Legion said.
"Nothing can ever take away what you have done in my name, at my side, and in my service," the Digital Omnimessiah said. "You have willfully given more than almost anyone else."
Vuxten closed his eyes for a long moment then opened them.
"I just want to be Vuxten again," he said softly.
Somewhere else Pete hit the keys for the macro.
WORKER VUXTEN YOU HAVE BEEN FINED FOR SETTING ASIDE THE MANTLE OF WARFATHER VUXTEN