"This is great!" Koen bounced in his chair, vibrating with impatient energy. "I can't wait to meet all of you. In person, I mean. I'll cook…" His professional habits kicked in. "Wait. We can't have my party on the day I come out of quarantine. I need one day to prepare. To go shopping."

"Maybe you're worried that I can't order everything you need," said Yoshida.

"No, I'm sure you can, but I don't know what I need. Part of the process is going shopping. I need to know what's out there."

"What's out there?" Severo pointed at her curtained window.

"Mucus, mostly," said Nelly.

"Slimy things with slimy legs, upon the slimy sea." Chadwell quoted.

"Can humans eat Quotidian food?" asked Ahmed in a tone that stated I don't want to.

Koen knew that everyone in the embassy would eat what he damned well cooked for them. But he said, "if it's a question of food restrictions, I'll make sure to include vegetarian options."

"Thanks," said Nelly. She thought about the people on Earth who would demand that she refuse food cooked with the same tools as meat, and decided not to care about them. She was sick of eating kosher ramen.

"So, how many guests will there be?" asked Koen.

There was a confused pause. How could Koen not know how many people there were in the embassy?

"Nine," said Mark. "There are nine of us. Ten including you."

"Of course, but how many other people are we inviting?"

Laura got it first. "You mean nonhumans."

"Yes! I want to meet our nonhuman colleagues. I'll need to know their species so I can make sure to prepare things…" His eyes twitched as he scanned his screen. "What's wrong? I know you have contacts with the Monumentals and the Quotidians, of course. Laura and I met a Tensor at the accelerator who seemed friendly."

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Mark shivered at the thought of dealing with all his colleagues and a mixed bag of nonhumans at once.

"I was thinking," he said carefully, "of starting small. Just us at first. Just the, aha, human club."

His eyes scanned over the grid of little faces on his screen. Chadwell was nodding. So was Ahmed. Laura looked stony, but Mark knew she was relieved. Li…

Shit.

"Laura," said the Ambassador, "what contacts do we have?"

"Aside from the Quotidians, Monumentals, and Tensors?" Laura nodded to herself thinking. "The Huddle, I suppose and previous administration dealt a little with the Extrusians. I'll see whom I can invite."

Mark relaxed a little. The Huddle were impossible, and the Extrusians would never accept an invitation, not after what happened with the last UN Ambassador.

But there were lots of Quotidians in the Zogreion. It was their city. Some of them might well come to the party, just for the entertainment of being horrible to everyone.

Mark looked away from his laptop, shuffling ideas around, trying to find a way out of this problem. He saw it. "I have an idea," he said. "Why not combine Koen's thing with mine? We can use the community cultural space that mix Sty offered us. We can make it a public event." He leaned into it. "Get all sorts of nonhumans."

Everyone, he was glad to see, looked horrified at the suggestion.

Not the least, Koen. "And I'd cook for them?"

"That would get expensive," said Ahmed.

"Not what I was expecting," said Chadwell.

Ambassador Li nodded gravely. "It wouldn't be hygge."

Mark ducked his head, as if graciously accepting defeat. "Oh, I see. You're right. Sorry. We'll keep the events separate. First Koen's, uh, coming-out party. Then my demonstration of human culture."

"Yes," said Li. "The first event can be a rehearsal for the second."

"So I do need to cook for a bunch of nonhumans?" Koen asked.

Qani Ahmed had mastered the art of peering into her laptop camera in such a way as to make anyone on the other end feel like a naughty schoolboy. She used the technique now on Mark, and it worked. "What are you planning?"

Mark swallowed again. This was the price he had to pay for moving the conversation in this direction. He had to shut it down. "I was planning to talk about this at a later meeting."

"I've got time now," said Severo, damn her.

"I don't," said Chadwell, but followed up with. "What's the action plan? Koen's party will be in a fortnight. What about Mark's event? What part of it will reflect British culture?"

"I can put in an order for black tea," said Yoshida.

"Why not a judo demonstration?" said Severo. "I'll fight Yoshida or anyone else here. The nonhumans can place bets."

The various noises of disapproval and shock were cut off by Laura, who said, "This discussion belongs in a different meeting, I'll schedule it."

Mark was grateful until that meeting actually took place.