Pern raised the vial Rick had collected up to her eyes. Her pupils’ colors matched the monster’s shade of blue.

“So what was in that vial, anyway?” Pern said.

“One moment,” said Rick. “Stay here.”

He meandered down a maze of alleys, passed a group of curious onlookers, and dropped the vial through a slot in the door. Within another ten minutes, he returned to her empty-handed and with an answer:

“It’s slime fluid.”

“I mean, obviously! But why were you collecting it? It’s not like you can use it for a potion. Not with that amount, anyway.”

“You said that elmens cause pollution wherever they appear,” said Rick. “That was smart, but you had it the wrong way around.

“Where bad stuff goes in the air, air elmens appear. Where there’s unnatural heat, fire elmens are there. Where bad stuff goes into the ground, like with factories, there’s crockies…”

“...and when there’s water pollution, there’ll be slimes,” Pern mulled. “There was pollution in the well water, which is why my party all got food poisoning.”

“Mhm. The elmens absorb it instead of spread it, and that’s what causes them to spawn. That’s why there were so many in the Industrial District,” Rick said.

“Wait, isn’t that really bad? We didn’t actually solve the water problem!”

“I sent part of the King Slime to Cure for testing. She’ll extract the pollutants it collected and deal with the bad water.”

“And you didn’t tell me this why?”

“If I didn’t want to tell you why back then, why would I tell you now?”

Pern scrutinized Rick. His eyes darted from the citizens, to the shopkeepers, to the mayor’s guard—sworn to the name of the King.

“I’m used to danger. I broke up the old Guildmaster’s slave ring all by myself!” Pern said. “And whatever scares a puny E-Rank like you certainly wouldn’t scare an S-Rank like me.”

“Oh,” Rick said. “That makes me like you… but doesn’t really make me want to tell you. ”

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Pern started, then leaned into Rick. Her face was so close that he could see every line on her lips

“Despite everything, you can be surprisingly…”

“Handsome?”

“Forget it.” Pern said, and they strut into the Guild.

It had been a long time since Rick had been in its halls. It was a bustling chamber, with a raucous crowd at the job board and staff who ferried paperwork with the frenzied vigor of being chased by monsters—or a monstrous quota at the least.

Though the Adventurers who jostled for work had changed since two years ago, the woman at the counter remained disturbingly similar. A raven-haired red eyed maid-like girl with a white bonnet and a slim professional grin.

“Adventurers, salute!” Estelle said, with enthusiasm. “And at ease… welcome back to the Mazevale Adventurer’s Guild, under the grace of his Majesty and the new Guildmistress Risa the Great.”

“We’ve finished,” Pern said, and gave over the cores. Estelle took the spoils to a set of scales in the back, and weighed them out. Pern looked at Rick, glanced him over once, twice, thrice and folded her arms, her face tinged red.

“Do you… want something, Rick?”

“Nah,” Rick said. “I was just curious about the kind of person who’d beg for the ‘Failure Adventurer’ to quest with her. I don’t want to miss happy hour, so I’ll see you around the block— maybe I can pick someone up—”

The quest was done, the water supply secured and there was nothing left at the Guild a pseudo Adventurer like him deserved. Rewards and accolades for killing basic elmens would be a humiliation, and he strolled casually away.

Someone yanked his back collar. He spun right around and was face to face again with the lady knight.

“Rick,” She said, then swallowed. “Rick, one minute please”

“You’re alright, Pern.”

“No—I want to say something.” Pern looked away. “When I started working with you, I thought you were a lazy wretched perv. To be honest, I still think the same…

“But I’ve realized you’re very passionate about the things you care about, and just because you don’t fit what I imagine an Adventurer to be like doesn’t mean you can’t be one.

“Doesn’t matter how you get to a destination as long as you don’t run over anybody along the way. And you go a step further than even that; you take detours to help people, right? Estelle… I’d like to recommend Rick for not just D-Rank, but Rank C. I think he obviously qualifies—”

Estelle held up a gloved hand. “You’ve killed twenty-five floons, twenty-five crockies, another twenty-five smorks… and just twenty-four blue slimes. That’s one short of the one hundred you were asked for.”

“Twenty-four…?” Pern said. “Twenty-four… just twenty-four!? That has to be a mistake! I count sheep with Mr. Buns every night; my counting skills can’t be wrong here!”

“Ah. I know where the last slime probably is,” Rick said. “In a test tube. Being experimented on by a girl named Cure.”

“Huh…?”

“If you don’t kill a slime’s every cell, it doesn’t die. Remember, Pern? That’s a nice fun fact. Share it with friends.”

“Rick… Rick… Rick!!!” Pern took back everything she had said.

On that summer day Pern Arienette, S-Rank Adventurer, lost her perfect record. Rick’s own E-Rank streak was maintained.