Lying on the altar was an entity in a wrathful demon-faced mask. Her body was draped in a pale robe that was almost-but-not-quite transparent, and behind her curled an orange, white-tipped tail.

“Eh? Eh?” Pern said, and Rick shoved her. She fell flat on her face, butt in the air; and he prostrated himself beside her.

“Forgive us our blasphemy War Goddess Gardalria,” Rick said.

“Oh! Yes! Being a Goddess… is a huge responsibility! Even if I wanted to be one, that’s a few steps above where I am, that’s for sure,” said Pern.

Rick glared. “Keep talking and she’ll have our heads” was the message he tried to convey to her. Unfortunately, “Keep talking” was all Pern seemed to get.

“I’m an S-Rank Adventurer… so though I’ve never been worshiped exactly… I think it might feel kinda nice. I’m curious, Gardalria. What are the steps to go from a mortal to a Goddess?”

The Goddess rose achingly from the altar. She sat upright, her feet swinging and her hands supporting her behind her.

“YOU WHO WOULD STEAL MY GODHOOD. YOU WHO HAVE TRESPASSED ON SACRED GROUNDS. FOR WHAT REASON WOULD YOU DARE COMMIT THESE SINS?”

“Oh! You’re really beautiful, you know! And imitation is the best form of flattery,” Pern said. “So I mean—we just thought —by imitating you—I’d flatter you. And I’m beautiful too, y’know, so it’s not like the worst insult—”

“YOU DARE COMPARE?”

“Oh. Well. I’m not saying I think I especially deserve to be worshiped or anything like that. No, no, no. I think you got the wrong impression. I mean, I could say, all women are like Goddesses, right? So then it makes sense for me to be one. As an ordinary woman. To ask about Godhood. No insult intended towards you.”

“YOU DARE COMPARE!?

“No, no, it was just to all womankind. Oh! Maybe that was wrong—you’re an inclusive Goddess, aren’t you? You’ve got a nice orange tail. And men, women, fox, and goblin icons on that altar too. So. I mean. Everyone is beautiful. That’s what I’m saying. It’s natural for any ordinary person, when seeing you, to be inspired to ask about what it takes to be God. No insult inten—”

Rick picked an apple from the grove of trees, and tossed it at the Goddess.

“IN YOUR SHOW OF GREAT ARROGANCE, FORGIVENESS SHALL NOT BE FOUND, AND NOR SHALL ANY APPLES.” She stumbled, tail swishing and caught the fruit in both hands. “DELECTABLE DELIGHTS WILL BE NOT ENOUGH TO SWAY A GODDESS'S WILL.”

Rick thought long and carefully about what he was about to say next. He had Thunder Resistance, and Fire Resistance, and Water Resistance too. But against sacred powers he had nothing, and if Gardalria bathed him in holy fire he’d die.

He couldn’t say anything to anger her. Even so—

“Forgive me, Gardalria. But you’re not really a War Goddess, are you?”

The masked Goddess leapt off the altar and step, step, stepped close to Rick. She raised his chin so that he was face-to-face with her masked wrath, and leaned til the cold steel pressed into him, as if to kiss him.

“Please stand,” said the War Goddess. Then she slipped off the mask and presented an adorable vulpine face.

“A kitsune!” Pern gasped.

The animal-girl shook her head. “I am not a kitsune, and I am not Gardalria either. My name is just plain Fen.” Her ears and tail drooped, and her voice had lost its fight.

“You’ve got fox ears and a tail, you like apples, and there’s something else familiar about you besides,” Rick said. “If you’re not a kitsune—”

“Then I think of myself as a normal, one-tailed fox,” Fen said. “How can I call myself part of the Kitsune Clan when they’ve all left me behind?”

She knelt by the altar, and spread some apple scraps and grains on the stone, along with the lone whole apple Rick had found.

“Please enjoy what little I—and Gardalria—have left to us,” Fen said. “I have my own story to tell, but I must admit I’m first most curious about yours. An S-Rank, caught by goblins?”

“We were duped into leaving our weapons behind,” Pern said.

“I wanted to see Pern in gob clothes.” Rick confessed. “Isn’t she cute?”

THUNDER RESISTANCE S [ACTIVE]

PHYSICAL RESISTANCE C [ACTIVE]

“My… the ways of humanity can sometimes be hard to understand,” Fen said, as Pern used Rick as a personal stress ball. She punched, slapped, and sparked til she had her fill.

“I’m kidding Pern! I’m kidding,” Rick said. “We were lost, and when I shouted it wasn’t just for food. We needed the goblins to take us back to their village too, and only then did I think, y’know, maybe you’d look good in skins.”

“If you wanted to know so badly, you could’ve just asked!!!” Pern shouted. “Now we’ve wasted a whole day…”

It was true that it was already sunset; a small hole in the temple’s apex was a window to a bright orange sky. If they had gone and slaughtered the goblins, then perhaps they’d already be on their way back to Mazevale. But then Rick wouldn’t have gotten to dance with Pern, and eat this delicious eye-candy meal. And moreover—

“It hasn’t been wasted,” Rick said. “We’ve found a lost fox, and between rescuing people or buildings I’d always pick the first. Is this everything, Fen?”

Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

The temple was narrow and deep, and the stone doors at its entrance had a two-way slot for denizens to look outwards and guards to look in. Small trees lined the passage, but they were barren—the apple Rick picked was the last of their fruit. At the other end was the altar, and at the altar was the Foxgirl Fen.

She nodded. “These scraps are what remains of Gardalria’s offerings. We can eat freely without offense — the War Goddess lends her strength to those in need. Please…”

Pern’s stomach mumbled, and Fen bowed: “Allow me to serve you both.”

***

Between Rick, Pern, and Fen, they each had four slices and a few handfuls of grain. They began a mini communion. Fen set red napkins and wooden forks, and silver water-filled goblets.

“Thank you for the food!”

The ripe fruit’s sweet juice splashed on their tongues.

“I love this, Fen. What kind of apples are they?

“These fruits are called Sansa, S-Rank; the kitsune have cultivated them for many years after having taken their seeds from another country. They’re perfect for eating fresh from the tree.”

“And the grain?”

“Sprouted wheat. They’ve been soaked in water and the edible parts of the plants have come out, so they’re fine to eat as is.”

Pern did her best to eat the stringy seeds. Though the “feast” was sparse, it was in earnest, and that made it taste better too.

“I hope you accept this meal as an apology.” Fen said. “You’re brave, skilled Aaventurers; I pretended to be a Goddess but you are my two true idols.”

“But you’re still a disciple, right? Of Gardalria, the Goddess of Strength? Even if you can’t tell me how to be a Goddess, I’d at least like to know if there’s ways to become even stronger than I am right now. Then I’ll forgive you in full.”

If Gardalria had an easy way to bestow her powers, the temple didn’t make that obvious. Its altar depicted many races with quills and books rather than swords; and the chamber lacked any weaponry. Rick supposed he could steal and wield the spike from the temple sundial but that would be no blessing from the War Goddess.

The environment provided no further clues. There were apple trees, normal trees, and decorative rocks. There was holy water in a gutter—it tasted fresh but gave no strength beyond good hydration. The only artifact of note was the wrath mask the foxgirl clutched, and her own face was polite, but pained.

“What it means to be strong… I think you both have a better understanding of that than I.”

“Rick’s great, but he’s technically an E. And while I am a highly successful S-Rank Warrior with a quest clear rate of ninety-nine point eight percent, I always need more education.” The lady knight bowed.

“I’ve been Pern Arienette, adventurer for just two years, ever since I was given a Skill Stone for Thunder S. If training and skills make me strong I have both, but I failed a quest a few days ago and want to know how to never lose again.”

“I am but a simple fox. An “E-Rank adventurer” sounds to me much like a “low-ranked King;” your partner’s perspective would also be a treasure.”

“My partner’s perspective is horrible… he never looks at me exactly when and where I want.”

“Huh?” Rick was dozing. His eyes had accidentally fallen somewhere scandalous on the fox’s figure, but Fen hadn’t noticed. She was in her own star-struck world.

“How about it then? What was it like starting out as an adventurer?” Pern asked, as she pulled Rick’s head towards her with both hands.

“Nothing special,” Rick said. And his head hurt again,

(((thrum)))

and Rick had lost his taste. He chewed slowly, and while he had the texture of the apples and oats he lacked any sweetness.

“Someone I once was close to had always wanted to be an adventurer,” Fen said. “So if you tell me anything I’ll be pleased.”

Rick focused on the napkins; they weren’t monogrammed but they were made from fine handkerchief-like materials; and the colors at this mock dinner became overly-bright.

“Rick doesn’t enjoy doing quests; so he might not want to share. Hey Rick—why don’t we go one another after this? Kill a slime, save a kid, or something basic like that.”

Gold liquid dripped down Rick’s chin.

“Oy, Rick. You’re eating kind of fiercely.”

That buzz. That sharpness.

((((((thrum))))))

You’re making a mess. Wh—y d—on’t y—ou ta—ke thi—s cl—oth?”

Rick nodded as Pern slipped bright red into his fingers.

“I’m s—rry Fen. W—’ve be—en a lit—tle b—it ru—de”

“D—o n—ot fr—-et. H—e has f—ar more d—gnity than the f—era—l f—oxes t-at plag—ue t—he Cl—an.”

“I— R—ck w—re f—ral, I gue—s I c—uld ha—e hi— a— — p—t ev—n i— h—’d m—ke — b—d p—rtner—”

THRUM.

All sound was parried away or cut through.

It was the Gatekeeper. Rick saw her in the corner of his eye. Her armor was well-constructed, polished, and pinkish-red, and her helmet gave some anonymity — but Rick knew exactly who she was.

“Quit hounding me.”’

Rick took the apple cutter, and readied himself.

The Gatekeeper had not blocked sound but time. Fen and Pern were frozen mid-meal; an apple disgracefully hung from Pern’s mouth and Fen perennially chewed on the grain. The red monster clomped to the end of the temple’s path where the entranceway had transformed to a glowing portal.

Rick made his second try. He ran, ran so fast that he knew he could dodge any of the Gatekeeper’s smiting. Only a delusion or a cheat would be able to stop him from sliding through that door.

The Gatekeeper steadied herself with her polearm, and Rick stopped. He stopped a full ten feet away and freely threw his applecutter; the knife beelined towards a chink between her helmet and her chestplate, the sole weakness that Rick had seen.

The knife projected towards the helm, dipped to her collarbone, slowed and then finally froze before it could break into her skin. It vanished and reappeared back onto the altar-table where he had grabbed it .

“Give me some credit; at least I tried to be clever,” Rick said. “At least I didn’t let myself get hit.”

“The person called Rick is not allowed.”

Rick kneeled back down. “How about bribes? You take that? Offerings? Though apples and grains might not be the greatest—”

The Gatekeeper’s legs ground unnaturally forward, as if she were someone’s loose memory of how humans were supposed to walk. She used her polearm like a cast-iron cane, and then loomed over Rick.

“...you’ve already given me food,” said the warm crackling voice.

“That’s right…” Rick muttered. “I’d forgotten.”

“Your person is not allowed to forget.”

“I haven’t!” Rick said. “I know just who you are. And you shouldn’t be concerned — after this quest, I’ll return to what I’ve been doing before. I’ve found a place where I can be happy, a place that doesn’t make my head hurt like now. And I’ll stay there! I really will!”

The armored figure creaked skeptically, and tapped her hammer-pole lightly on Rick’s head.

“.If you seriously won’t leave me be,” Rick said. “I’ve noticed you’ve got one more weakness, a place where the knife didn’t halt.”

Rick lunged at her visor—

“—To whom are you whispering?” Fen’s ears twitched. Her eyebrows scrunched as if she were struggling to interpret the words she had caught.

Pern looked at him. Fen looked at him. Rick looked at them both, and wondered at what would happen to the two of them if he lost his mind here and now.

“I was whispering to you,” Rick said. “I was thinking — yes, I would like to hear about how you met Gardalria. Come to think of it, I don’t know much about strength at all.”