I sat at the table like I was told and a plate was put in front of me and than that the other plate that held mummies meat was taken away. Good bye mother I hope we meet in heaven.
Oh it tasted so good that it almost brought tears to my eyes. On the plate was this beautiful cut of meat and… the vile enemy. Green things. All green things are evil. It's just a fact. They not meant for human consumption. Anybody who says otherwise, their wrong.
But meat. Meat o'lovely meat my one and only friend. Oh how much I wish it was just me and you. O what a perfect world that would be o meat.
Mister sits down in the seat next to me. I’ve never eaten in a seat before I feel fancy. And I’m sure that not even the most wealthy of nobles know of the greatness that is a good meal made by love. Because the c word is the highest form of love. To know someone's taste how can one get more intimate. The man shows his stake to me as if bragging. It’s bigger. I’m sure he’s over compensation. Basted i’m not mad that he gets more. It’s quality over quantity. Ahh that's what mister said did he trick me?. I cut off a piece of steak and take a bite.
Bless this bliss. What is this it is beyond anything. How did this happen. It’s beautiful it’s amazing it's its, its, it's so good I don’t know what to say. Delicious. “ How… teach me!”
The man smiles. It's a devious smile and it makes me rethink my situation. But then I remember how delicious it was.
“ Ok i’ll teach you how to cook but in return I want to teach you other things as well. Don’t worry I promise that I know even better recipes if you do well. Have you ever had elf. It's a much greater”
“Waaaaa you know better recipes. I love you please be my bride. What do I have to do, learn. Is that all ha ha ha that’s amazing. I will do it. I will do it. Now! Tell me how did you make this so amazing. And what's a elf”
“ Ok the recipes simply but I always believe rewards come after work so I will teach you that but first” the man smiles once more. Fear. An emotion I had forgotten for a time because of the man's friendly attitude returned. I have a bad feeling like the world going to end. Then the apocalypse came “ only after you eat your vegetables”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! How could you play with my heart like that bad mister! Mister is a bad man!”Adira
A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.
“ My name is… Varon” Varon
“THEN BAD VARON!”
“ Is the idea of eating your vegetables that bad” Varon
“ To taint this perfect meal with such HERESY!” Adira
“ You still need to eat your vegetables” Varon
“ Silence fou beast. Say no more of your lies”Adira
“ Then you don’t get to make this on your own” Varon
“ ah ah” Adira
“ Think about it you could recreate this meal at any time. In fact you would also get the knowledge to get other meals at this level and above” Varon
Dammit he’s got me. I begrudgingly eat my vegetables. The green menace. I shall eradicate you one day. You may have won this battle but the war shall be mine. But I need to be careful what else does this Varon want the little me to suffer through.
“ What else am I going to learn” Adira
“ The sword. Espionage. Survival stuff and cooking are the things you will learn.”Varon
Ahh is that all ok… wait what. You mean sword like the freak I saw in the yard that one time. Does this mean i’m going to get all bulky. Well this Varon is strong but if you didn’t know you couldn’t tell from his appearance.
“ And how to read and write” Varon said and my suspicion meter hit full. Reading and writing. Why?
“ And how to do taxes and other such events. Mainly paperwork. Ok I might find someone else to do paperwork. But I will find someone to do my paperwork before I return home. What's the difference between one mouth and three. You just need to focus on the sword and known that you are mine.”
What their he goes saying such embarrassing words even though we just met. Know shame!
“ I feel like there's a big misunderstanding. So hmm it might be better to go at it from this angle. Help me, help you, help me,kill god.” Varon
“One of the things you just said was stupid.” Adira
*********
Well that went as well as can be expected. To be honest It's not like I ever really intended to negotiate with Adira to begin with. But still being asked in a stoic voice by a silver haired pink eyed little human girl cannibal if I could ‘ please not be crazy’ it hurt. I didn’t think it would but it did. But that's ok because after I enjoyed a nice meal. And I can cross off eating my own race off my bucket list. Ok in truth it didn’t even occur to me that I was a human now until half way through the meal. Of course I still ate every bite. I’m not one to waste cooked food.
Well now that objective 1 acquire disciple is done it's time for number too. Frame the family murder on the church. All I really need to do is write god does not accept the beliefs of the false death on the wall in front of the house and set the rest on fire. Actually it might be better to grab some traveling paladin corpse and throw it in the first I'm sure the higher up at the the church will shit themselves and so will the cult but that’s about it really. There's no lead to the death cult and the lack of further response will lead the death cult to feel safe.
Paladins are like traveling priest just their more staby and like to think that they are above all but their god so their perfect to fame crimes on because no one but the innocent like them.
I also need to add a new object too my list. Get paperwork guy. Ok paperwork guy is now priority one.