When Shawn woke up he felt a sharp pain. The familiar feeling of a needle sewing his wounds closed. Sienna sighed, “You know, I’m sad you lost your coat. I really thought you looked good in it. Like a cape but more subtle.” He stared in disbelief and she reached out with her spare hand and closed his jaw for him without looking. “I’ve told you it is rude to stare while I'm working.”
He tried to process what he was seeing before he remembered what he had been told about this place. Depression quickly overtook him. He mumbled something under his breathe and she poked him with her scalpel like she usually would to get him to speak up while on her operating table. “You are just another illusion. A memory.”
She rolled her eyes at him and stated, “I have no idea why you are saying that and I don't want to. That said, moping like a child and tell me why I found you battered, busted, and soaking wet while half naked.” He began hesitating and she glared at him. “You cannot possibly be choosing now to keep your opinion to yourself, are you?” Turning to face him, she placed one leg over another and tapped her pen on her knee, “I can’t believe I have to say this, but I'm going to humor you. If I am who I think I am, then you are wrong and I can help like usual. If I’m what you say I am, a living embodiment of every promise I've ever made you, then even you know how stupid you are being right now and your heart is reminding you. So can we skip past the part where you act like a paranoid nutcase and treat me like usual?”
He looked over her practically signature stance, used only when she was trying to break his shell, and he relented. Checking her stitch work, he grumbled, “Yeah, sorry. Been here too long. Short version, I put millions of people in harm’s way to save one person and now I’ve thrown my only road home away.”
She looked at him puzzled and said in mild confusion, “Then save them and find another way.”
“I can’t. I screwed up too much.”
She shook her head and explained to him as if this was the thirtieth time, “You have always found a way. We made you the poster child for the CPD because you have never failed to find a way.”
“I signed-“
“I don’t give a damn and neither should you." Her tone became one of tired outrage. "What is different now than any other time?"
He sighed and turned away to hide his shame, “I threw away my connection to the Phoenixian Crystal. It kicked my ass and left me for dead.”
She looked at him with amused disbelief which slowly became full blown excitement as she realized he was serious, “That’s wonderful! You are finally free from the dead weight.” He raised a brow at her and she stated firmly, “You are a moron if you think that pebble had anything to do with the lives you saved.” He looked away as if doubting her and she laughed mockingly at him. She explained with medical efficiency, “That rock didn’t make you demand people let you die with whiskey in hand because a space worm was turning your insides into hamburger. That stone didn’t make you fight an entire army of Shuians for weeks on end just for a chance to negotiate. The stupid little bauble isn’t the one who decided to come to the birthday of Dave’s son because he was a fan of yours.” She stood up and patted him on the shoulder, “Shawn, you are burning yourself out. Whatever you did to ruin everything, I’m sure it was to save at least one life. And I know you aren’t the sort to be satisfied with just that. It is what makes you Cosmic Phoenix. What makes everyone see you as a true hero despite everything. There is only one of you, no matter what face you wear.” She circled around so he had to see her and leaned forward, “So, put on your big boy pants, stand by your decisions, and find a way to fix this, like you always do. The hero I admire isn’t the sort to waste time moping when people need him and it seems like a lot of people need you.”
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He sighed and tried to debate her logic but when he looked into her eyes something in his heart told him she was right. He rolled his shoulders, turning to leave as he spoke words he wanted to be true. “When I see you again, I’ll save you too, okay?”
She turned him back with force and put her scalpel to his neck. “None of that. None of that 'faking it' garbage. I know you too well to believe it. So let me make this VERY clear. You WILL find a way out of here. You are GOING to save as many beings as you possibly can. And you will NEVER stop trying until the very end. Okay? And if you ever start falling apart I’ll put you back together again, just like I promised. Understood?“
He took her scalpel out of her hand and smirked before taunting, “That sounds like a threat. One I would love to see you try and enforce.” She smirked back, her sowing needle very close to his most vulnerable area. All of this, for the first time in a lifetime, brought a genuine soft smile to his face. He nodded and stated firmly, “I will fix this and I will find you again.”
She nodded and said kindly, “That sounds like the hero I admire. I’m counting on you.” As he left she sighed, glad to see the hero she loved walking with a spring in his step for the first time in years.