He walked into his office, letter in hand, his fingers breaking the paper from the sheer pressure of his grip. Tears were streaming down his face. He looked at the photo they had all taken together before his journey brought him here. Gena, Anisa... he couldn't even find Terry or Maria. His father had even passed, probably due to an overdose while on tour. A deadbeat that abandoned him to pursue his own goals and Shawn was no different. He had abandoned everyone all for his own ideals and never took a moment to think of them. People who were his friends and his lifelines in the darkest hours of his life. A decade of neglect of the 'family' that had saved him and all for nothing. His office seemed nothing more now than a tomb of his own making. He could resign himself. Stay here in his prison until he fades away...
He could feel that sensation again. That fire that burned deep in his stomach and made him want to vomit. Anger would be the easiest excuse. The lowest effort way to explain it to those who didn't know. But he did. He knew this feeling too well. He had lived with it for so long. That fire that burns when all else is gone. As its fire filled his bones, he grabbed one of the empty whiskey bottles and bashed it against the wall, the glass shattering and the stone wall crumbling from the force alone. Glass shards embedded themselves in the floor and ceiling. He grabbed the picture in its frame and crushed it as easily as paper before punching the other wall himself, the entire wall shattering like glass. As the building began to come down upon him, he did not care. He fought and clawed like an animal as the concrete and rebar fell down upon him. Even as his own actions tried to form his proper tomb, he couldn't stop himself. Whether he wanted it or not, this would not be his grave.
A jolt from Tai snapped him to awareness, Gena now standing in front of him. "So, you are Shawn's Replica." She seemed to trail off having her own internal reflection. The two stood there silently for awhile, Sai reading every nuance of her behavior. She wanted to say so much, but seemed to be hesitating. He could see the guilt in her eyes but also a distance. She wasn't worried about what Sai would think but rather the man she knew him as a replica of. He had been doing this job for a very long time... or had memories of doing so. She would only act like this if his theory was right. But Equinox would absolutely know about even this...
His mind drifted again. He was younger than before, still hot on Sculptura's trail, standing over the bodies of the henchmen between him and the criminal who had buried Sculptura's trail. As the man stepped out of the shadows, Shawn sighed. Seeing his own face he shouted again, "Equinox! How many times do I have to kick your ass before you get out of my way!?" The villain smirked, the outrage of the hero being the only aspect of this he cared about. Shawn threw one of the bodies at his mirror, the ragdoll deflected with ease, "Why!? Why won't you just learn your lesson and leave me alone!?"
Tai jolted him back again as she began to speak once more, "I'm sorry. I had practiced this so often. Thought of a million things to say, but you aren't him and we both know that." She got quiet again before speaking once more, "I know that things are different and you aren't him, but I can't help it because you are just like him. Even behind a robot face I can tell you are beating yourself up again." He jolted in surprise, caught completely off to see this grown and combat hardened face turn into the smile he knew back in school, "So let me tell you a secret. The Gena you knew didn't hate you. I can be sure of that. And if she knew why you came out to the sea of stars, she probably would have understood. If her health held, she probably would have tried to help. So, I'm not interested in a photocopy but you are still my friend. So whatever part of Shawn lives in you, I want you to know that I cherish it." She hugged him and then walked away.
If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.
Shawn was writing his novel in a tucked away corner of the lunchroom, hiding behind a pillar. He hated it. Every word that was on the page was a massacre to him. There was no depth or meaning. No texture or color to the people on the page. He was trying his best, but there was nothing. Just people aimlessly shuffling from one plot point to another. Nothing of value, pawns being moved on a board without any care or significance. All of them tools for a larger plot. Their struggles fabricated, their paths predetermined. As he grew in his anger, he felt her tap his shoulder, he looked up into her eyes, and for just a moment he broke from his focus. For just a moment he forgot what he was doing.
This time Tai wasn't needed to snap him back. This time it was outrage. Fury. He needed answers. Unfortunately all he would find was a frustrating game of questions.
--------
Shawn was sipping his drink, not sure of its name or true nature, but content to wear his dirty cloak quietly. It was a trope but apparently they didn't know of it on other worlds. The lonesome drifting hero in a cloak entering a seedy bar to search for leads and usually ends with him breaking heads before he walked out. He could feel the crystal asking him to beat them all up now, but they were just people. They were laughing with friends, sharing drinks, telling stories about the last job they were on. And oddly as he listened he began to understand that not every job they took was one they were proud of. Many discreet complaints about how crazy some of these space pirates were. As he sat there, he heard a voice broadcast as though from a megaphone. "Woe and Despair! Here comes the Equinox for your world! Make your peace and face oblivion with dignity." The criminals he was partying with seemed to grow afraid, collecting their things quickly and each heading for their ships and trying to escape. Shawn sighed, knowing what had to happen next. He hated when he had to do his job. This was just supposed to be a rest stop while he is on his way to find where Anisa had gone. He was so close to the parasite and then stuff like this keeps happening. He stepped outside, tapping his blade against the doorframe, its ringing causing his personal flying craft to appear, a platform with guns mounted on its wings. Putting his blade into the platform blade down, he held it tight as he began to fly up towards the ship. "Cosmic Flare...."