Hope is the flame that propels life. The fuel is what colors the flame. If you burn it pure the light is soft. Ephemeral. But when it burns from the heart, you will see vibrant colors across the night sky and what someone is made of.
-The First Phoenix, Quote from the Weaver’s records
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As Sai entered the dark cavern, he saw the familiar form of the scarred man he was copied from. He had no shirt or jacket of any kind and was playing with marbles on whatever could be considered ground in this metaphysical space. He chuckled, “So, you are finally cutting the strings? Or are you still being pulled around by your own-“
”CUT THE CRAP!!” The silence that followed Sai’s outburst was chilling. When the figure went back to playing with the marbles, Sai growled, “I’m here for answers. Not philosophical debates. People’s actual lives are being impacted by this.”
’Shawn’ stood up, kicking the marbles into the darkness. “Yeah…. Same thing is true of everything anyone does. Even what they don’t do. Quite literally in this case. Or have you changed so much that you think this is all navel gazing?” He turned to face Sai, a soft smile on his face as he locked his dead right eye with Sai, “See, you can’t see what’s coming if you aren’t asking about what could be and what everything means. Including a Bioelectric Automata being born of a Replica of my mind.” He walked up to Sai, staring him with eyes of infuriating amusement. “See, I don’t ignore anyone. No one but myself. Because no one knows better what it’s like to be forgotten.”
“Bullshit! You postulate and speculate because it distracts from the pain. Because imagining tomorrow is less painful than processing today.”
Shawn nodded slowly, his smile not fading, “Yeah… it’s both. But that’s just how it goes. Can’t save the world by looking in the rearview. Least of all for people like me. If all I thought about was how my father left us with barely enough to eat in a house of pressboard and cheap carpets or what state I found my mother in the day she died, I could never have gone as far as I did. I had someone I needed to be there for. Even after she died, I had to be there for Doug and everyone else who had no one else.” He turned away, motioning to the darkness as his entire life history played out before them, every memory scattered like patches for a quilt. “At what stage does what I did after I left home redefine me? At what stage of my life do I look back and tell myself that the quiet boy who only ever wanted to write novels and hide in the corners of the world is just not who I am anymore? And how many more quiet people in the corners of the world are waiting for that same opportunity?”
Sai scoffed, “So, what? You make yourself their messiah? Sounds li-“
“Nope! I’m just the asshole who travels space and saves their lives while cracking their shells.” He began to laugh, “Even you. You started as a copy of me but you have been doing things lately you know I wouldn’t do. Like playing second fiddle to someone else’s scheme to kill Permiso. Like doing a deep dive of my own mind on the edge of a battle.” He pressed his forehead against Sai’s with an aggression that was borderline feral, “No… I would push every thought out of my head that wasn’t about the people right in front of me and take point on any operation, because if I let anything but what I needed to do next in countless people would die. In this business, the dead can be mourned on your own time… but never forgotten…” He turned away and sighed, “So, go ahead, grill a phantom of your perception of the man you once were for answers you already know while everyone else is in danger. The problem for you isn’t the now but what comes next…”
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Sai grabbed him by the shoulder and turned him to face him before punching the man. He growled, “Yeah… because I trust the people I work with to save their own ass. I’m not trying to be the point on the spear anymore.” He glared harder when he remembered where he was… in his own mind, “I’m not you anymore… and I’m not sure I’m even remembering who I used to be as well as I used to. The single minded warrior who would gladly burn to ash for his war on evil. So, let’s stop the needless stage play. If I was him and he was Shawn… why wouldn’t he be worried about the Phoenixian Crystal? In what situation would I be throwing away such an important aspect of our agreement?”
He laughed again before his tone became wistful, “Any situation where I can give them an opportunity to be more than they are. There is nothing I wouldn’t do to make sure that everyone I care about is okay and that everyone who never had a chance are able to have the same opportunity that I did, if they just want it.”
Sai froze… and then he remembered the data from CPD HQ. “That @-layer group that the Tak’Nasi you kidnapped were talking about… you didn’t.”
Shawn nodded, “I didn’t, you are right. But he might have.” He began to walk further into the darkness, “And if I were him, I wouldn’t stop there. The One Day War would be my apology to the entire Cosmos.”
It was in this moment that something in Sai snapped. He charged the figure, tackling him to the ground. Shawn was smiling, about to make another dismissive quip or needlessly poetic statement. Sai wasn’t going to let him. Not this time. As he punched him in his face he growled, “This isn’t right! It isn’t fair!” Shawn’s mouth opened again but was shut once more with a solid strike, “You can’t just control people! The greater good is no excuse for manipulating them!”
Shawn kicked him off, something else in the facsimile’s eyes. A red and gold flame. “We all manipulate each other, but I would watch the world burn to the ground before I stand back and simply let those I care about suffer! If there is something I can do, it is my obligation to see it done, no matter what it takes from me in the process.” He stood up, the scarlet armor forming on the form as Sai’s mind gave the theory a try. To see if the man he was is the same sort as the man they follow now. “Whether I come back or not doesn’t matter as much as saving the countless dead because of my careless behavior. To be entirely forgotten would be the perfect punishment for one such as myself.”
Sai looked at him, the mannerisms lining up, the grim resolve but also something more… something that he knew too well. A dark humor that saturates the very bones in a chill colder than the grave.
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As the skirmish began, he couldn’t help but chuckle. How long had it been? Even as crossing blows with Freidos mirrored his vision, he couldn’t help but feel the blood pumping on his veins. It was such second nature. Even after all this time, he could feel his reflexes doing the heavy lifting as he pressed the villain’s blow to the side and unleashed a small punch that sent the creature flying back through the forces, creating a small path through them. As he ran through, he felt his form shift to that of a small cat. Felidae must be here as well. He quipped about their army being sorted by letter but it was impossible to understand due to his inexperience speaking cat. Leaping to the face of one foe, he jumped off them, leaving deep gashes on their face as he did so before landing a missile drop kick on Felidae before returning to his original form, his mirrored perception finally returning to normal telling him that he was out of range of the effect now.