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Replicated Hearts

Anisa punched the hull hard enough to leave a small dent. “Gah! I hate that guy so much! Such an arrogant jerk!” She huffed, “He’s the reason we are even in this mess! How dare that cheap knockoff tell me how to live my life!”

Tak winced a little when she called him a knock-off but waited for her captain to finish venting as she wrapped the knee in athletic tape. “Isn’t he the guy you are trying to bring back to the world?” Anisa grumbled a quiet retort before Tak continued, “I know it must have hurt, but he was very precise and the energy saturation healed any lasting damage. Leaving with a minor sprain should be something to celebrate.”

Anisa sighed, “You aren’t wrong. He has always been a softie. Shame that you can’t meet the real thing.” It was only now that Anisa realized what she had been doing. She cleared her throat and was about to reply when Tak tugged extra hard on the athletic tape to stop her. Anisa pushed on despite the warning. “I don’t mean what it sounds like. He and I just used to talk about this.”

Tak nodded, standing up slowly, “Most species in the galaxy do. Don’t worry about it.” She sighed, “Your knee should be better in an hour or so. I’m going to make my way down to the training room.” Before the captain could reply, Tak left the med bay without a single glance back.

——————

As Tak entered the training room, she was on the same roof as before, but the eternal golden sunset seemed to have settled into a rich crimson dusk. He didn’t turn to face her. He spoke firmly, “You are the last one, kid. Are you ready?”

She nodded, preparing herself for him to lay into her the way he did everyone else. Instead he just stood there. Maybe he didn’t realize she had nodded, so she walked up to him and leaned against the rails next to him, “I don’t know what you could teach someone with thousands of lifetimes worth of experience but-“

“It isn’t experience. That’s your first mistake.” She pulled back a bit at his comment as he continued to speak, “You know that. It’s why you wanted out, isn’t it? The difference between knowing and true experience.” She remained quiet, so he asked her, “How many of her scars do you carry with you? How many have you earned for yourself instead of second hand glory?” His words cut her to the bone.

She shot back, “Are you speaking from experience?”

He laughed and shook his head, "No. I just got here. I'm just sharing what I know." He motioned her closer as he turned to stare into the same eternal sunset that Shawn had once met her under. He mused, "A true hero finds their own way, rising above that which they have come to know and discovering something rare and precious. We can't just be any face in the crowd. We are the ones leading it."

She stared out at the setting sun with him, eventually asking, “Is that all you have for me? A few things I already know about not losing myself in the experiences of others?” She looked at his face and his gaze was distant, as if lost in thought. It began to click with her that perhaps this conversation was as personal to him as he was making it for her.

He asked her with a wistful tone. “Do you remember it?”

She was surprised but nodded, “That I’m not just me. That no matter what you would be standing there with me.”

He sighed and nodded, “Shawn is still in there rooting for you while he sorts out his own damage. Let that give you the strength to face the doubt in your heart. You have guts and drive that aren’t common among most people in the cosmos let alone clones.” He laughed a little, his gaze drifting downward in self reflection. “You are one of the happy accidents of Shawn’s decision.” She gave him a puzzled look and he explained, “About five years into the gig, I stopped by your planet. Due to a series of misunderstandings your entire planet was glassed and it was my fault. That would have been about 15 years ago for you all.”

She laughed at him, a look of bewilderment and confusion crossing his face as she did so. She sighed, “There you go again. You won’t acknowledge yourself as a person but you keep talking about your memories like you were there.”

He nodded and grumbled, “Yeah, but that’s the curse of a replica. We don’t have a life of our own. Just borrow it until we are done.” She punched him in the head and he took it, turning slowly to glare at her. "Explain or I'll give you what I did Anisa."

She glared back at him and spoke with force, “You and him both talk about how I’m special. Not like the rest of the clones. How I can be more than that. But here you are acting like the same thing doesn’t apply to you. What makes me special? What divides you from being just like me?” This defeatist tone, this dour expression. This wasn't the man who spoke to her before. Echoes of him were there, but this was so much different.

He growled at her, “You chose to live your own life! You chose to jam your hand into the engine to save a friend! You had a choice!” The pain in his heart poured out like a fire hose, his powerless expression hiding behind his rage. He shouted, “Even Shawn didn’t have a choice! He just pushed his way blindly through the world, too stubborn to just accept death!” He eventually settled down some, “I’m just a cheap knock off of a weak man too scared to die.”

She watched him cry, letting him get it out of his system before stating firmly, “You are right. You didn’t choose to be born. None of us do. But instead of sitting around and waiting or letting yourself fade from this world, you stayed to help us. Your first chance to make a decision and despite all of it, you chose to help us.” She smiled at him, “He may or may not have had a choice, but you do. If you aren’t him, then you can be whoever you want to be. Just like me.”

He glared at her again but with less anger, his pain soothed some by her optimism, “You… are as bad as me… no wonder everyone hates my speeches.” He took a few deep breaths, clearly trying to push his pain back down into his gut.

She shook her head, denying him outright, “I don’t think that’s it. You love people too much to stay quiet or walk away. There is something endearing about that. Someone who won’t run away just because things get hard or hurt. Someone who doesn’t let themselves get in the way of what they believe in.” She thought back to the man she met under the sunset and now to the man in front of her. He may be an echo, but she could feel it in him. His drive to find a life of his own. A feeling she knew all too well. “You can show me how to fight and I can help you find your own way. To free yourself of him and become your own person.”

He shook his head, “You don’t even know how to do that yet.” She huffed at him and he rolled his eyes. “Dear lord. Am I just cursed? Everytime I brace for the reaper’s sickle some lady comes along to tell me to uppercut him, letting my instincts just take over." His hand drifted to his eyes, covering them in annoyance. "Fine, but I’m gonna need something to call you. Something fresh.” He tapped his chin and ran his hand through his hair before snapping his fingers. “Zennia? That work? Z for short?”

She chuckled and shook her head, “You named yourself already, Sai. So, I’ll come up with my own name when I’m ready too. For now, just call me Tak.”

He shook his head but accepted it. “You have a lot of guts, Tak, but don’t mistake having the guts to call my depressed and cowardly ass out means that you are brave enough to forge your own identity yet. Until you become a person who is truly you, you can never become who I know you can be.”

She nodded and responded, “You too. And we can find our way to that. Together.” The two copies stared out into the recreated sunset, preparing each other for the night that lay ahead.