Shawn walked the labyrinthine alleys of the golden city. Every now and again, he would take a turn and end up back at the quarry. When that happened he would turn around and go again into the maze. Leaping to a nearby roof he looked around and saw nothing but city for miles. He felt someone looking for him. It felt like they were lost in a crowd. Shawn sighed and whispered, “Breathe deep. Remember who you are and move with purpose.”
Who am I? What was my purpose?
“Only you can decide that. If you need help, I don’t mind lending a hand.” The being seemed uncertain, but latching onto his words, he suddenly could tell they were on the roof with him. Turning to face them, he went pale when he saw it was a Tak’Nasi.
He stumbled backwards a little bit, but she looked at him with a stunned smile and held out her hand in greeting, “You must be the one Anisa is trying to save. I am known as Tak’Nasi.”
Shawn nodded slowly before putting the pieces together. Sighing with relief he took her hand and shook it, “Yeah, I know about you guys. No wonder you got a little lost. Being a clone can make anyone have an identity crisis. Glad to meet you though. How did you get here?”
The clone explained firmly, “I put my hand into the Fugue Engine and touched your crystal.” He jolted in surprise and she reassured, “I know it seems crazy, but I didn’t know who else to turn to. Katsi is on a mission and Anisa-“
He motioned her quiet. He clarified, “You were so desperate for help for Anisa that you jammed your hand into a machine powered by emotions being layered to the point of absurdity. Give me the cliff notes.” She blinked at him and he growled, “I don’t have all day, Doppelweiner.”
Huffed at the nickname but explained when he motioned her to speed it up. “Anisa‘s powers are forcing her projection of her former life onto her and the two of them keep trying to kill each other.” His face lost its confidence and light for a moment and he nodded slowly. Not getting an answer as quickly as she expected she cleared her throat and he just nodded.
Eventually he spoke, “Ani didn’t have a happy childhood. Neither did I. We were each given the weight of a world we weren’t prepared for and never should have had to carry.” He trailed off for a moment but seemed to collect himself, Tak’Nasi noticing some of the shadows around them retreating as if alive. “So, we made a promise to each other that no matter how dark things got, we wouldn’t go anywhere. And things we talked about got very dark.” He smiled, “And it was weird. Cause when we would come back we would feel more in control. Like we had taken the power back in our lives, just a little. Remind each other of our goals. Our dreams. Our ambitions. Tell each other that we would get there no matter what anyone said. Seems like a distant memory now, but I chased that fantasy across the cosmos. That no matter how dark things got, we could always claw our way out and the other one would always be there to pull us out the pit.”
Tak’Nasi sighed, “But she needs you and you are stuck here.” She tried to figure out how to resolve this.
As she paced, he shook his head. “Our lives were nothing but pain, but it was ours. Our will, or so we told ourselves. But what always gave us that power was the people we surrounded ourselves with. She and I are just angry messes without our friends. They anchor us to hope. I had Dean… and Doug…” he shook his head, “Without them I was just an aimless force of nature after she died.” He locked eyes with the clone and stated firmly, “I want you to know something more than anything else you know in your life. No matter how dark things get, you are not just you. Everyone is more than just themselves. Only we can take a stand, but once we do so, we have an army behind us. Those who stood before us, those who stand beside us, and those who will follow.”
Tak’Nasi stared in stunned silence at his presence. While he was saying some of the most cliched heroic lines of thought she could think of, there was something sincere and resolute about it. She asked, “So I just say that to her?”
He shook his head, “No, that was for you. Don’t forget it. And while you are at it, know that I believe in you. I don’t know anything about you, but if a miserable old jackass like me can be viewed as a great hero, you sure as hell are a lot more than you realize. In fact, I’ll be honest. Not even I was willing to jam my hand into the engine when it was running. And you did all of this for your friend.” He got up and patted her on the back before giving her a bear hug. She was stunned but eventually returned his hug, her heart warmed from his genuine support. He wrote down a few names on a piece of paper in his pocket. “Take this, look up their names and remind her. These are everyone who has ever been our friend or helped me find her or tried to save her. If she remembers enough to feel guilty and powerless, then she will remember them. Remind her that this isn’t her fight. That she has a family and that they aren’t going anywhere. Even if she runs from them.”
Tak’Nasi stated, “You are a part of that family now too. We will find out how to bring you home. No matter what, okay?”
He scoffed and waved her off. She wanted to insist but he responded, “Being here is making me wonder if I’m even ready yet. Turns out, this job… it damages all of us. Still, I will just work on myself while I wait. That said, I don’t want you to ever forget this. This day. What I told you. I mean it.” He locked his intense eyes with her. They were demanding but not harsh. He said again, “Don’t forget that no matter how dark things are, I will be right there with you.”
She nodded once before vanishing in a beam of orange light. He assumed she found her way back out to go help his friend. Looking out at the endless horizon again, he sighed, “Ani, you are going to be okay. And maybe one day I can be too.”