The the eve of my wedding approached. It was hard to keep food down, though I was forced to eat when Wilbern visited my chambers for our final pre-marital rendezvous. It was a warm night, yet I trembled violently as I stared at the man who was to be my husband. He seemed not to notice my trepidation, eating casually and almost jovially.

For him, I guessed, it was a dream come true. He would save his realm and bed a beautiful noblewoman. I did sympathise with the predicament which Wiseria's adulterous ways had landed him in, and I had compassion for my fiancé's feelings regarding his father's imminent demise, but scarcely could I comprehend such emotions when I was so entangled with my own.

Regeda served a meal in three courses and Wilbern spoke of nothing else but the consequences of our union. ‘Once we are wed, the watchtower at Thorny Island and the castle at Haelling Cove shall never want for men, and the coffers of Trackford and Ebonreach will be enriched with the renewal of trade between our realms.'

I forced a smile which I hoped didn’t look too nauseated. ‘I will live at Helmfirth and provide you with many heirs.' I did my best to fit into his fantasy, but apparently I had the wrong idea.

'No, no, no. You will be travelling to the baron cities in Trent with a large escort, encouraging their support in the campaign against bandits and the Cha-forsaken Tokuans, and raising taxes to pay the wages of our soldiers. Of course, I require an heir, but I will certainly not have any difficulty finding the motivation to create one upon your return.'

Though this was to my liking, it was unexpected and I frowned. 'You think that I will be better able to stabilise the realm by visiting counts and barons than by producing an heir?'

'Saemara, my fiancée... All those who look upon you will know - without a doubt - that you will bear me an heir. Sadly, you have come to me rather late, considering the two years we have known each other, and I fear that Father will pass in the weeks after we return to Helmfirth. As such, I must be by his bedside. When he does pass, my duty will be to immerse in the rulership of the Duchy without reserve, and I fear I shall be able to make little time for you until I have imposed order upon the Duchy.'

I was struck by his unerringly nonchalant tone when discussing such difficult matters as his father's death and ruling Trent; affairs which had heavily burdened Timoth. I hoped that it was well-deserved confidence rather than bravado for I did not relish being shackled to a failed ruler. The wives of men defeated by popular rebellion typically suffered the same fate as their husbands: death by beheading.

At our parting Wilbern paused in the doorway. 'Tradition decrees that I not see you until the chiming of the first bells of the wedding. As such, I wish to tell you how grateful I am that you have accepted me as your husband. I know that there are more charming and handsome men, though none with more available soldiers and wealth. Yet I do not despite you for choosing me for such reason; in fact, I respect you for it. You have made the right decision for your homeland, and I hope that in time you may learn to be satisfied with it.'

It was a genuinely touching and thoughtful sentiment and I had no words with which to reciprocate. As such, I responded by kissing him gently on the lips. The embers he stoked within me quietened the butterflies in my belly as our tongues met in a passionate embrace. For the first time in our short relationship, Wilbern was the first to pull back.

'Tomorrow, my fiancée, my Saemara. Tomorrow.'

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A lady’s wedding day was the climax of her life, or at least that was how I’d always seen it. I had anticipated my coming of age ceremony because it would enable my wedding, not for its own sake, yet now my wedding was here I feared I would ruin it through drowsy clumsiness.

Wilbern's parting kindness plagued me, and it was on my wedding morning that I realised that I felt nothing for the man at all. Some apprehension, perhaps, and maybe some respect, but certainly not the spark of genuine love. No matter how kindly he treated me, I felt certain that I could never grow to love Wilbern.

Yet I knew that I was locked in now: to back out on the day of the wedding would have humiliated us both, rendered my breakup with Alum a pointless mistake, and broken my promise to Timoth to procure soldiers for Ebonreach. It did occur to me that Timoth wouldn't want me selling myself to Wilbern just to secure him an army, but I didn't want to be treated as a privileged noblewoman. I wanted to be a leader of Ebonreach, one who made sacrifices to protect it.

So I persevered.

I arose from my bed with predictable weariness. My intermittent sleep had taken hours to commence and concluded hours too soon. Regeda would conceal my fatigue; I just had to get myself through the day. Perhaps she'd know of some helpful drug I could take prior to the consummation. .

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The thought no longer made me sick. Instead, I was gripped by a sort of depressed apathy. By resignation. It was going to happen, I just had to live with it.

Part of me was praying that Cha's divine intervention would create some urgent event and save me from my fate, but my life was no fairytale. It was all too real.

That was why I pulled my corset on. It was very restricting but I did not find the sensation frightful or nauseating. I donned my wedding dress, though not my veil as I had yet to have my hair styled or my face painted. It did not blossom out below my hips too extravagantly, but I nonetheless had to be careful not to crease the fabric beneath me when I sat down. Finally, I slipped on my shoes, pulling them the last stretch of the way onto my feet with my wriggling toes.

I opened the door from my bedroom and stepped into the upstairs corridor to seek my hairstylist when I heard a knock on the door. Wilbern had sworn not to see me prior to our wedding, and certainly no well-wishers would choose the day of the ceremony to visit. That left only one man.

'I've got it!' I called out with a casualness I did not feel. I grabbed handfuls of my dress and lifted so that I would not tread on the hem as I descended the stairs and opened the door.

It was Alum.

'What are you doing here?' My voice was a whisper conveying threads of hope, desire, pain, and fear. My heart thudded so heavily that I could see it moving my corset up and down upon my chest.

'You… look beautiful,' he said. His eyes were bloodshot and his blond hair a mess so I couldn't honestly reciprocate the sentiment. Were his words the precursor to a declaration of romance, or mere courtesy to a bride on her wedding day?

'Thank you,' was all I could breathe.

I must have looked a statue then; pale and petrified. Alum was equally taken by silence and stillness, and I sensed that he hesitated to speak his mind. I wanted to urge him to divulge his innermost thoughts to me but said nothing for fear of what it could mean. Maybe he would simply go away and take any hope I had of a future worth living with him. That would certainly be easiest.

Alum opened his mouth and I braced myself.

'Oh Saemara, please do not do this thing. I am adrift without you! Worse - in the knowledge that we could have no future together, I do not know even myself. Please, I beg of you, reconsider! It does not have to be this way.'

His pleadings fell from his mouth like water bursting its embankments and I felt like driftwood in their wake. I could not think of a response for I was so touched by his words, and so afraid of my betrothal.

I thought that I remained unmoving, yet suddenly I realised that my eyes were closed, and when I opened them Alum's lips were upon mine.

And they felt good.

'My lady!' a shocked voice said from behind me. Regeda.

I realised that Alum had pulled me against him such that my breasts were upon his chest, and I quickly pulled him into the house and closed the door behind him.

'No one leaves this house,' I commanded, for my hairstylist was standing beside Regeda.

'Y-you cannot confine me,' the hairstylist said. Her tone was full of anxiety, for she was a commoner and Alum and I were royalty, but she was correct. I had no special authority outside of Ebonreach.

'No one leaves this house,' Alum stated firmly, his voice empowered by the authority he had been raised to wield. There would be no questioning his command, I decided, and with that I grabbed his loose linen shirt and pulled him up the stairs.

We stumbled drunkenly into my bedroom, our minds buoyed by torrential emotional turmoil and the thrill of fantasy becoming reality. We spoke no words as I kicked my shoes wildly into the cabinet with twin thumps. Alum smiled crazily and leant in to kiss me, and while he did so I pried the buttons of his shirt apart. He tossed it carelessly aside and forcefully lifted my wedding dress over my shoulders, casting it atop his shirt. I already felt almost naked for I wore only my undergarments and a corset, but soon we were atop the bed, clad in nothing but our own skins.

Still we did not question – nor even to think to question – what we were doing as we rolled on top of the sheets as we pulled each other close. I was lost in the warmth of his body, the tender firmness of his grasp. He nudged my thighs to either side with a gentle push of his knees and suddenly we were one.

I moaned in pain, yet it was not agony, merely severe discomfiture. It was somewhat remedied as Alum's musk filled my nostrils and his gyrations titilated my body as had never occurred before. I closed my eyes and rolled my head back as he took me with increasing ferocity, begging that he would never stop.

As with all good things, the furnace of our lovemaking eventually burned itself out. Alum collapsed discourteously into the bed beside me, panting and sweating, exhausted. I could scarcely move for all of the overwhelming signals my body was sending through me. Pain mingled with lust and glorious satisfaction as Alum slid a muscled arm in behind my head. Our breathing slowed in unison, and I managed to turn my head to face him. He was already looking upon my face with his tidal ocean eyes, and as our gazes locked I knew that I could never have married anyone but him.

It was time that we made our declaration official.

'I must go,' I said to him, though it pained me to do so.

I was grateful that Alum did not protest. He seemed absolutely debilitated, for the physical exertion had no doubt followed a number of restless nights. I sympathised with him, yet he did not have an expensive wedding to cancel.

I took a moment to prepare myself to be revealed to the outside world as a new woman. For was that not what was said about women who lost their virginity? That it changed them? Was I a different woman now? I did not feel changed, though I did feel a passion that had been lost in me since the day of my betrothal. It was this fire that drove me as I pulled on some informal clothes and descended from the bedroom.