It was my resolve to make Timoth proud that got me out of bed two mornings after my breakup with Alum. Regeda went to Duke Wilbern's chambers to warn him to expect my visit, and when she returned she applied makeup to my face to conceal the raw, soggy skin beneath my eyes. I chose to wear a more revealing outfit despite knowing that if Alum saw me he would be overcome with jealousy after the modesty I had presented to him, but I could leave nothing to chance. If I had to seduce Wilbern by confronting him with bare cleavage or then I would do it. Strange that my sexuality could make such a difference in the fate of two realms.

I ate well that morning in preparation for my task. I donned my most flattering heels, even though my feet barely squeezed into them, and made the trek to Wilbern's chambers. I prayed to Yoru that I could be empowered with virtuosity of spirit and selflessness of character.

The green and black chequered pennant marked Wilbern's home. I did fondly recall our meeting, and some of our journey to Hollowhold, but it was hard to push aside the rumours. Certainly he had occasionally betrayed himself as somewhat of a pig to me, but I hoped that I had judged him harshly, and that the rumours were baseless. I prayed that my sacrifice would be rewarded by an unexpected kindness of spiritn.

My knock on the door was answered almost immediately by a female servant. She led me inside where I declined to take a seat, wanting Wilbern to be able to appraise me fully when he arrived. I was going to use every piece of guile available to me to ensure that this worked, self-respect be damned. I would make certain that I had not discarded Alum for nothing.

A door shut out of sight above me and Wilbern descended the stairs. He was well-dressed, in the silk of a nobleman, but tempered by the hard leather boots and belt of a warrior. I had to say that it was becoming, though my heart lurched to admit it, as if I were still bound to Alum. The boyishness I had previously known from Wilbern had given way to a more steeled look, complimented by his grey eyes and trimmed facial hair. He was at least Alum's equal in appearance, and I contented myself with that. I would take every piece of good news I could get.

'Countess Saemara, what an unexpected pleasure,' he greeted me with a kiss on the back of my hand.

'The pleasure is mine.’

I stepped into his living room and we sat at his table. 'Have you eaten?' he asked, and when I shook my head he called for his servant. She soon carried out a plate of bread and a bowl of wine. Wilbern dipped the bread in the wine before eating it. It was not a breakfast that I enjoyed, for I typically preferred my wine in the afternoon, but it was common among the nobility. I nibbled at the edges of my bread to avoid offence. 'What brings you to my chambers?' he asked eventually.

I did not know how to begin. I should have mentally prepared an introduction, but I’d been so focused on merely arriving that the details were still foggy. 'I wanted to speak to you, to let you know that I'm back in the city,' I invented.

'I hear you've been greeting a lot of people,' Wilbern said. His tone was carefully layered with obvious suspicion.

'Haelling Cove was attacked by the Tokuans. I have been gathering support,' I said. It was true, even if the support was very limited.

'It would be a travesty if the home of such a fair lady was allowed to fall,' he said, true to form. Not that I had expected him to change.

'Sadly, fairness alone cannot stay the swords of an attacker.’

'That is not altogether true, Saemara,' Wilbern said familiarly. If you accepted my suit, the men of Trent would stand upon the shores of Ebonreach and deter invasion.'

I went to accept his suit right then, on the spot, regardless of the fact that it was still very early in the conversation, but a painful lurch in my belly bade me pause when I opened my mouth to speak. I would need to brace myself beforehand next time.

'From what I hear, your own realm is beset by highwaymen and raiders,' I said.

Wilbern smiled, as if such things were of little concern to him. 'Their small numbers enable their escape, but also presents their greatest weakness. It is only a matter of time until each band of highwaymen and Western Island scum is cornered and slaughtered.'

His own confidence went some way to stilling my fear of Trent's instability. Wiseria was undoubtedly on his deathbed, and when he breathed his last breath Wilbern would be ruler. If I married him and fell pregnant, any claims his younger bastard brothers might have had would be less dangerous. With the bandits and Tokuans dealt with, as Wilbern seemed certain they soon would be, both Trent and Ebonreach would undoubtedly be the better for our union.

I sighed and resigned myself to the task once more. We spoke as friends for several minutes so that my proposal would be more natural.

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'Duke Wilbern, based on your earlier comment, I understand that your marriage proposal still stands?' I asked him. His eyes widened like a boy discovering fire for the first time. He nodded, scarcely able to believe what was happening. 'Do you not court a lady from your own land?'

'Consider her gone. I have already forgotten her name,' Wilbern said with eagerness verging on overenthusiasm. He definitely wanted me, which made my task easier. I just had to avoid thinking about what I was leaving behind.

'Well then. I accept,' I stated. It seemed an anti-climactic way for the betrothal I had been waiting eighteen years for to finally occur, yet I was learning that was a common life experience. Anything built up in the mind is destined to become a disappointment in reality.

'I am overjoyed!' Wilbern said, his wide grin evidencing his words. His smile proved to be contagious despite my earlier misgivings.

'As am I,' I managed to say.

'We should set the date soon. My father is not well, and we should be wed before he passes,' he said, as though the death of his father was like a dinner appointment.

'I agree,' I said. The sooner we were wed the less time I'd have to reconsider, and the sooner Timoth would benefit from the union. I wondered if I would be able to visit Ebonreach before I began my new life in Helmfirth.

'One week?' he suggested, but even to me that seemed too soon. People would say that we’d rushed into it without thinking.

'Two?' I amended.

'Ten days, we'll call it,' he decided. 'Next Sunday. That should be just enough time for my relatives in Helmfirth to attend.' I did not hold it against him that he did not consider my brother's attendance, as we would have had to wait a month for word to reach him and then for him to journey to Hollowhold. And that was assuming he could come: I suspected that he was extremely busy with the rebuilding of the county capital.

'I agree,' I said again.

'You have made me very happy, Saemara. I had never believed that I could win a lady as attractive as you,' he said. His words still made me uncomfortable, but I forced myself to perceive them in a complimentary light. I was his now.

I hid my reluctance as I pulled my chair alongside his and allowed him to put his arm around me.

'Your body is so warm,' he said.

'Yours is so muscly,' I attempted in response. It was not untrue. I suspected that he had persisted with daily sparring during my absence.

He grinned at the compliment. 'I wish to kiss you,' he said. I got the feeling that it was something he felt had been denied to him for too long. I could not refuse him.

I turned to face him, and let him put his lips against mine. They touched for several seconds, but our mouths remained closed and unmoving.

'Truly wonderful,’ he said. ‘You cannot imagine how often I have thought of those lips.'

I restrained a shudder. It was a compliment. A compliment from my fiancé.

I forced another smile, but I was reaching my nerve's end. It had taken all of my strength to recover my senses from my breakup with Alum, and all of my courage and self-discipline to betrothe myself to Wilbern. I only had so much left in reserve with which to tolerate Wilbern's hair-raising compliments.

Thus I spoke, 'I'm afraid that I must depart, for ten days is not a long time in which to organise a wedding.' I hoped to disguise my distaste with a girl's eagerness for wedding planning. It worked. I wondered if Wilbern's poor understanding of women would allow me to shelter behind girlish concepts for the rest of my life.

'Of course,' he said, not disguising his disappointment, but willing to let me go without argument on account of the betrothal I'd already gifted him. 'I will visit your chambers this evening,' he suggested. I instantly recalled his mysterious ability to walk unseen through the women's quarters. Whereas once it may have been charming, I was now concerned by it. Would my life never be my own again?

'I look forward to it,' I managed to say, and strode from his chambers into the street. When the door was shut behind me, I took a moment to compose myself. My task had not been an easy one, but it was done. I was proud of myself.

Now it was time to go home and succumb to my misery.

I did not leave my chambers for the rest of the day. Regeda was fully occupied with my care, as I strove to end my emotional convalescence before Wilbern's visit in the evening. Having a deadline within which to bathe in my sorrow was becoming a familiar feeling, and I wondered if my life would ever slow down. I supposed that once I married Wilbern he’d handle most of the decision-making. Perhaps then I could take a few months off to recuperate from all that I had suffered in recent months. And all that I was yet to suffer.

I made certain to stop my sobbing before Wilbern's arrival. I managed to hold down a stale biscuit and Regeda treated my face with oils to disguise my weeping.

Not once did she suggest that I shouldn't wed Wilbern, or that I was doing the wrong thing, nor did she ever use Alum's name. I'm not sure whether it was her belief that I was doing the right thing or if she was merely sympathetic to my plight and hence careful not to say the wrong thing, but her care was the best I had enjoyed since I’d last seen my Father well over two years ago. I hoped that she'd keep her word and come with me to Helmfirth once I was married.

Wilbern's visit was characterised by moderation. Not brief, yet not overlong. There were no disagreements, nor were there any moments of genuine connection. His words of affection were made less coarse by our betrothal. He left me with a kiss on the cheek, and then one on the lips. I pretended I was kissing Alum.

Wilbern seemed happy enough as he left with a toothy smile across his face. I wiped my lips free of his saliva and retreated dispassionately inside my house. I was all cried out, and I would be doing my husband-to-be a disservice by acting as if our shared meal had been a negative experience. It was neither good nor bad, it simply was.