We climbed down the stairs from the gatehouse and crossed the bailey to the keep. Men-at-arms tipped their kettle hats to us and I wished that I had the time to change into something more formal before meeting Father. He was, after all, the Count of Ebonreach.

There were also men directly loyal to the King in the courtyard, as the King of Halivaara kept a permanent garrison in Haelling Cove due to its strategic importance. Ebonreach was a Free County, meaning that we answered directly to King Degron Goldmane without the need for a Duke to act as middleman, and as such we enjoyed certain benefits including fewer tiers of taxation and a garrison of royal troops. They did not tip their hats to me, though some looked at me in ways that made me feel uncomfortable. I knew it was because I was coming into my looks, and I bore myself more consciously until we entered the narrow corridors of the keep.

As always, the stone floor was cold underfoot despite the warmth of the outside air. We walked through the keep and up two sets of stairs before coming to the royal chambers, where the entire Tfaeller family, including myself, took residence. I passed my room where Gwaeda would be waiting for me, allowing Timoth to lead me to the Count's chambers. Two guards clad in sky blue and white tunics blocked the door with ceremonial polearms, and at my brother's request they knocked on the sturdy oak door.

'Who is it?' a woman’s voice called out from within. Mother's.

'Me and Timoth,' I responded.

'Let them in,' she commanded the guards, who stepped aside to let us pass. Timoth opened the door and we entered the room.

Mother was tending to several large potted plants on the window sill with a cup of water and some small iron shears. She wore a long brown dress that matched her shoulder-length hair. Aside from where the plants had outgrown their pots the room was immaculate, a testament to Mother’s cleanliness. The royal bed was made and the wall mirror unblemished. I stood before it to examine my looks, as I was wont to do. Mirrors were expensive and uncommon decorations in Ebonreach, as most glassmakers resided in Hollowhold, the Halivaaran capital.

I saw that my hair had become as Mother's plants: overlong. Wild, even. I resolved to have it cut. I also spied confirmation that my bust had grown in size, in accordance with the slight increase in general body weight that I had recently become used to bearing. I was pleased, as Mother had always said that a large bust was important in securing a good husband. She'd know: she had been a mere landowner's daughter when she had married Father. It seemed unfair now that she would have such little patience with my lazy work ethic, but she had taken to the life of a noblewoman with no small amount of vigour. I fretted at my minor increase in size, particularly on my thighs, though it was disguised well by my height. Nevertheless, I resolved to partake in some discrete exercise when next I had the opportunity.

'Where is Father?' Timoth asked.

'He meditates in our portal,' mother replied. 'Is it about the raiders? Did they sink?'

'They did not sink, and they did not raid,' Timoth said. 'I wish to talk to Father.'

I was silent in this, hoping that mother would forget that I had little to offer the conversation. I had seen nothing that Timoth hadn't, and I had other duties to attend to. I was still a child, and this was adult business.

It was to no avail, however, as Mother was canny to my ploy. 'He will emerge from his portal in a few minutes. You can wait with me if you desire.' Then she turned to me. 'You may not. I don't doubt that you are here in avoidance of your studies. I remind you that you are not yet a woman, nor are you a portalmancer. If your early literacy had not been similarly delayed then I would be very concerned for your future.'

I sighed, but left the room. It was clear that I was not wanted, and her words had stung me. On the one hand, I could be a slow learner and my portalmancy skills would probably come to me in time. On the other hand, if I had no portal to join to my husband's on our wedding day, then I would never find a husband in the first place. I trudged back to my chambers, telling myself that I would work on my portalmancy, and my portalmancy alone. Diplomatic treatises and religious texts could wait another day.

Gwaeda had indeed prepared me a bath. It was not quite as warm as I had hoped, but I did not chide my servant as the fault lay with me. I had chosen to attend the battle and then my parents' chambers instead of returning directly from the beach. Nevertheless, I bade Gwaeda heat some water to raise the temperature.

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I was grateful to slip out of my sandy beach clothing into the bath. The tingling of the warm water revitalised my stiff toes, and I wriggled them exuberantly. Daegwin took my clothes to be laundered, and before she could close the door Gwaeda returned through it, carrying two pales of steaming water which she poured into the tub. I tugged at my hair experimentally. It fell almost to my hips, so when Gwaeda had emptied the buckets I spoke to her. 'Cut my hair.'

'Yes, Countess,' Gwaeda said obediently.

My mother and sister had made their attendants into friends and confidantes. That was not my way. I had little in common with women of low birth, and once wed I would be whisked to some faraway part of Halivaara and given a new set of servants. Better-trained servants. I felt no obligation to nurture a friendship, nor would I have known how to do so with a commoner.

'I want about four inches off,' I said.

'You want it to fall upon your bust, Countess,' Gwaeda surmised. I frowned, not liking how transparent I had become to her. She found some scissors and knelt behind the bath to shorten my hair. 'You have to be careful, my lady.'

'I want to find a good husband,' I told her.

'Don't we all,' she said. 'Yet a prominent bosom can attract darker creatures. You have little experience of men, my lady. You must be wary of them.'

I knew she spoke the truth. The only noblemen in Haelling Cove were of the Tfaeller stock. Presently, my sister Kaeya was absent, visiting one of the landholder relatives on Mother's side of the family. Occasionally a neighbouring Duke or Count would visit, but never for more than a few days. Most of them were much older than me anyway, and already married. I thought that my parents would send me away when I came of age, probably to Hollowhold. As the capital of the Kingdom, it was well-known as the gathering place of various nobles all year round.

'Do you know the portal magics?' I asked her, after a time. I let more of my hair fall behind my head so that she could reach it with her scissors.

'I don't have the breeding, my lady,' Gwaeda said.

I sighed. 'I wish you did. Master Kaed is so old and slow. If he didn't fall asleep in our lessons then I would.'

'It seems to me, if you'll beg my pardon, that if you learnt the magics yourself, you'd have no need for Master Kaed.'

I frowned again, unsure how to respond. The thought of devoting hours of my free time to meditation when I needed to be exercising my body to keep it fit galled me. But I wanted to portalmance just as much as I wanted to be the prettiest woman in the kingdom when I went to Hollowhold, or wherever my parents sent me. I had to find time for both, so once Gwaeda had finished excising the length from my hair I had her depart and close the door so that I might attempt to summon a portal in solitude.

I was naked and bathed in warm water, but Master Kaed's teachings indicated that such a communion with nature would assist my meditation. I closed my eyes to the dying sunlight that filtered in through the sole window in my bedroom, and relaxed my breathing as I had been taught. I listened to the distant sounds of the men-at-arms in the courtyard below my room, and tried to discern the crashing of the waves against the beach several hundred metres away. Once I felt myself at home with my body and attuned to my senses and my environment, I turned my thoughts to summoning a portal.

No – not summoning a portal. Willing it into existence. Master Kaed had been very insistent on this. The portal realm already existed, I just had to become sufficiently aware of it to be able to forge a connection to it. I tried to stay focused and imagine a portal slowly sifting through some invisible magical dimension into reality. I tried to will it into existence.

After a few minutes, I opened my eyes and looked around the room. No portal. I ground my teeth and slumped deeper into the bath, carelessly spilling water over its edges. My frustration was made worse by the repetition of my failure. Master Kaed's first lecture had been two years ago, and I’d made no progress in that time. My sister, Kaeya, had summoned her first portal within three months of her twelfth birthday. Timoth had been only weeks behind. It might not have been fair comparison – Master Kaed had been younger and more capable then. Kaeya's twelfth birthday was almost ten years ago. I wished that I could make my parents see that things had changed, but they believed I was inventing excuses.

Eventually, I summoned up the resolve to try again. I closed my eyes and tried to will the portal into existence once more. Twice more. Quite a few more times, in fact, until the bath water chilled my bones and I was forced to get out and throw on some fur clothes. I did not look forward to summer. The sun was good for my skin but the current fashion required that I wear mostly silk. I detested silk, as it made me look ungainly. Fur was my preferred material, and the coolness of the stone keep in which my chambers lay gave me leave to wear a fur coat over my plain white dress.

Well, not so white any more. When I had first seen myself in it in Mother's mirror, I had realised how the clean white had contrasted awfully with my skin, so I had set Daegwin to the task of fading the colour out of it without making it look dirty. I knew not how she had managed it, but the dress now had an ivory tone that better suited my complexion. Thus clad, I stepped into my slippers and went to see if Timoth was still in my parents' room.

The guards at the door barred my way as usual, but I did not shout to my parents. They were inside, I could hear them – including Father – but I could tell that they were not talking about the raid any longer.

They were talking about me.