'I’ve picked another attendant, my lady,' Regeda said, and she pointed at one of the other servants. This one had dark brown hair and green eyes, and as she stood I noticed that she was quite short. I guessed her to be in her late twenties.

'My name is Pae, my lady,' she said. She looked the part, and Regeda had suggested her, so I asked her the question.

'What experience do you have?'

'I have little experience as the attendant of a lady, other than that which a woman naturally acquires,' she began, but I let her continue anyway. 'However, for two years I was a royal harpist, and I heard many of the goings on in the royal parts of the city.'

'A harpist? Are not your hands too weak for the business of washing dishes and carrying my luggage?' I asked her.

Pae shook her head. 'That was ten years ago, my lady. Then my hand was crushed under the wheel of a cart and my finger was cut badly.' She held up her hand, and to my astonishment it was bereft of her fourth finger. 'It got infected and had to be amputated, you see. My entire hand hurt, and I couldn't play the harp anymore. Once the rest healed, I learnt to play without the finger, but I'd already lost my job and no one is hiring out-of-practise harpists.'

'You are not a servant, you are a musician. You do not belong here,' I told her.

'I have no problem with serving work, my lady, and what is a musician without an instrument?' Pae asked.

'You lost your harp?'

'Sold it.'

I sighed, and shook my head. Merely forming coherent thoughts had become an uphill battle. 'Sure, you'll do,' I eventually relented, and both Pae and Regeda smiled. 'Come with me,' I commanded them. They took no immediate action, but when I walked they followed.

I took them back to my abode. It was already getting past dinner time, so the first thing I did after walking through the door was tell them to cook me dinner.

'The kitchen?' Pae asked, and I rolled my eyes.

'I thought you were the servant,' I replied, pointing past the dangling beads that concealed the kitchen. I pointed upstairs next, 'your bedroom, my bedroom. Your bedroom only has one bed currently, however there's room for more. One of you will have to sleep on the floor tonight, but tomorrow I expect you to purchase another mattress.'

'Yes, my lady,' Pae said. Regeda was already in the kitchen, and Pae followed her. The sounds of fruit being chopped into slices could soon be heard through the divider. I sat at the living room table and waited.

'There is to be absolutely no gossiping about what goes on within this household,' I warned them as they worked. I studied the family portrait I’d hung from the wall some months earlier as I called to them in the next room. 'I caught my last attendant sharing secrets with the other servants, that's why she's gone,' I said. It was pretty close to the truth.

'Yes, my lady,' one of them called back, I couldn't tell which.

Eventually they served dinner. They were inexperienced and unaware of my requirements so I was forced to provide a lot of guidance, but that was to be expected. After dinner, I retired to my bedroom and enjoyed a long, fulfilling night of sleep.

In the morning, breakfast was already being prepared when I descended the stairs. As I ate it, I considered the previous day's pledge to talk to Prince Alum. I felt strange that Prince Milos and Highfather Ioran both supported Duke Wilbern's advances, and I didn't want to have to deal with it alone. I told myself that I'd confront the Prince at his sparring training in the afternoon.

My lessons were mundane. Master Orjeik was pleased with my progression, as I had been able to expand my portal realm by a good number of inches in each direction. Master Robarin was unsatisfied with how I had – or had not – applied myself to my studies, but I’d learnt to tune his voice out.

The afternoon arrived and I donned my best skirt and walked to the training grounds. Unsurprisingly, there were already a number of noblewomen gathered around the arena. They watched the noblemen spar as vulture circling prey. I joined them, and saw that Prince Alum was already in the arena. I recognised Duke Wilbern also, though Timoth was not there that afternoon. At one point, Alum and Wilbern fought and I clapped excitedly when Alum won, though when I realised the implications I forced myself to stop. I didn't want to create more gossip by showing clear favouritism between the two men.

Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

Eventually, Prince Alum approached the wooden fence that encircled the arena, seeking water and a cloth to wipe the sweat from his face. The women always competed heavily for the honour of providing refreshments to the combatants in the hope of exchanging a few words or catching the nobleman's eye. I usually refrained, but that day I grabbed a bucket of water and used my superior size to shoulder my way in front of a stumpy noblewoman from Mattrath so that I would be beside the Prince. The Mattrath lady stormed off indignantly, leaving me and Prince Alum alone at the edge of the arena. Everyone else was out of earshot due to the shouting of the men and the cheering of the women.

Prince Alum saw me as he approached, but to his credit he did not falter in his step. He looked at the ground as if trying to motivate himself for some difficult task. I passed him the bucket and a cloth over the fence, and he wiped his head with the cloth.

'You should not be seen with me,' he said. 'People are talking.'

'I have heard,' I replied. 'But we must talk.' It might not have been him but I swore I heard a groan, and he certainly gritted his teeth, so I continued. 'I know you are probably not proud of what happened the night before last, but it is better that we discuss it properly, even if only to make certain that our stories are in alignment.'

Alum looked at me, his face dripping with sweat and water. Then he shook his head.

'No.'

'No?' I asked, my initial happiness from being able to speak with the Prince quickly turning to ash in my mouth.

'No,' he repeated.

'Might I inquire as to the reasons of your refusal?' I pried.

I expected him to say something along the lines of 'we shouldn't be seen together,' or the more flattering 'I can't trust myself around you,' but instead he said, 'I am a Prince. I need not explain myself. I will not meet with you, nor should you seek me out again.'

My jaw dropped at his words. Before I even realised how far my heart had sunk in my chest, Alum had already thrown the cloth into the bucket and returned to the ring. I reached over the low fence to retrieve the bucket, and after returning it I saw no reason to remain.

I returned home, and cried. Was I not at least owed an explanation? I realised that I had made a terrible mistake. In my attempt to prevent a scandal by refusing Alum's request to share a bed, I had pushed him away. He no longer wanted anything to do with me. If I had lain with him I might have fallen pregnant, and then he would have had no choice but to deal with me. I cursed myself for my stupidity. Refusing to sleep with him had hardly prevented a scandal anyway, as it seemed that everyone knew about my reception of the Prince's attentions.

Ever since I had left Haelling Cove, every decision I’d made had been the wrong one. It had started even earlier, in fact, when I had berated that guard in the watchtower in front of Khad. That had been the cause of it all. If I hadn't done that, Father wouldn't have sent me away.

I sighed. Of course he would have. Mother had been leaning on him for some time to send me away for a proper education. The incident with Khad was just the last straw. And I had done some good things since then, though it wasn’t easy to recall them at the moment.

I’d saved Timoth from the blue-haired nymph, for one. It had seemed so simple then; I just had to put the pointy end of the sword into the nymph to solve the problem. By comparison, life at Hollowhold was incredibly complicated. Why was the Vizonian Order getting involved in my romantic life? Why wasn’t Alum speaking to me? None of it made any sense.

As I cried, dark memories came back to me. The sight of Wargwa walking bravely to the faeries, sacrificing himself because of my decision. Asking Wiseria Crower why there was no Duchess at the table, when he had driven her to suicide with his adultery. And finally, choosing not to sleep with Alum, when doing so would have caused no more of a scandal than had happened anyway, and would have bound his fate to mine. I almost laughed when I considered that Daegwin would still be around if I had succumbed to Prince Alum's charms.

Almost.

I had lost everything, and gained nothing.

Well, not everything. Timoth was still loyal to me; at least, I had no reason to think otherwise. I wished that I could send Pae to retrieve him, but I doubted that he had spent as much time learning how to secretly enter the women's quarter as Wilbern. If I wanted to talk to my brother, I'd have to clean myself up and walk there.

With a new purpose, I strode to the ensuite bathroom and wiped my smeared makeup away. I did not reapply it, for I hoped to encounter none other than Timoth, and was content merely to disguise my tears. It was late and I considered it likely that Timoth would be at his home when I arrived.

I called to my attendants that I was going out and left without waiting for their response. The street was deserted, much to my satisfaction, and I began the walk to Timoth's. I half-expected to run into Highfather Ioran or Duke Wilbern or some other annoying and strangely knowledged individual, but thankfully luck was with me for what felt like the first time today.

Timoth's house was marked by a blue and white pennant identical to mine, and I knocked at his door. A servant girl opened it and I asked to speak to Timoth.

'He's upstairs,' she replied, making no move to let me enter the house. Annoyed, and not in the mood to tolerate the stupidity of servants, I stepped through the threshold and shouted up the stairs.

'Timoth! It's me, come down!' I called.

'Saemara?!' I heard him respond, his voice muffled by the bedroom door. A moment later he emerged and descended the stairs. He saw that I was upset and pulled me bodily against him, holding us together tightly.