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Dungeons & Divebars: A Shared-world LitRPG adventure anthology
Ogden Divebar, Moscow Mule, Staying Alive, Part Seven

Ogden Divebar, Moscow Mule, Staying Alive, Part Seven

My silken bonds were now fully removed. The feeling was finally returning to my limbs. I nodded to Gertrude. My wings remained undamaged, and she stood at the ready. We both looked toward my weapons, and I tried not to think of what was at stake. Or how the next few minutes would determine whether I lived or died.

Those thoughts would get me nowhere. The Matriarch was patrolling the grotto. Her back was turned. It was time to set our plan into motion.

We both moved as one. Gertrude skittered toward the harpsichord while I took flight, speeding to the blood-soaked area where my weapons were waiting. The cold steel was in my hands before I realized I’d crossed the distance. My body trembled as my muscles quaked with the sudden rush of adrenaline.

Gertrude began to play. The notes were soft at first, timid, but she quickly found her rhythm and with it her confidence. Her legs struck the keys with musical precision as the rest of her brood mates looked on in stunned silence. The song was graceful and enchanting. It touched me at my core, reminding me not of wistful memories as her mother’s song had, but gave me a sense of sweet longing for the better days ahead. The music filled me not with longing, but with an everlasting promise of hope.

I watched in amazement as the rest of the spiders shuffled forward and then began to dance. They all joined in. The dance was somehow even more elegant than it had been before. The Juveniles and the Hatchlings didn’t keep to themselves. Instead, they started to mingle, waltzing together in pairs as they began their promenade. Together they twisted and turned. Around and around, they went, weaving in and out in an intricate and surprising display of unity.

All of them, except for one.

The still, hulking form stood like a hulking behemoth. It shook with barely contained rage. She, too, had noticed the change. Her dark eyes glistened and then burned with a fiery red glow that was strong enough to illuminate the surrounding area.

Unique Dungeon Quest Unlocked:

Mother, May I?

Is that a harpsichord I hear playing? Oh, now you’ve done it. If you thought Little Miss Spider Mommy was pissed before, well… you haven’t seen anything yet.

Warning! You have incurred the wrath of an Elite mob. Defeat the Spider Matriarch. Or die trying.

Reward: You’ll live. Probably. Individual results may vary. Beneficial outcomes are not guaranteed.

This system prompt was different. The voice sounded odd in a way I couldn’t quite explain. The cadence was… wrong. The last bit sounded more like a fast-talking announcer at the end of a pharmaceutical commercial than anything I’d come to expect during my limited dungeon dives.

I didn’t have long to dwell on the system’s sudden, subtle change. We had angered the Spider Matriarch. She rushed toward Gertrude with a flurry of movement. Her fangs dripped with globs of venom that sizzled and popped on the silk-laden floor.

After our last encounter, I knew her speed would be impossible to match. I had expected this. I couldn’t win this fight in the same way I had bested Leopold. I was far too slow, but I had a plan, and I was ready.

Fae magic coursed through my curved blades. Illusions of leaves swirled in the air. The spell filled the space around me with the scent of a deep, ancient forest. I ran a short ways and jumped, spinning as I let the weapons loose. They spun forward, aimed not at where the Matriarch was, but where she would be.

The sound of impact was like rolling thunder. The dual cracks echoed off the grotto walls, only slightly dampened by the countless layers of silk. The Matriarch stopped her flight toward Gertrude and screamed. Her shrill cry filled the expansive chamber as her dripping fangs bounced and slid across the gore-stained ground.

Green ooze hissed like acid, bubbling and boiling on her thick chitin. She turned. Her eyes followed the spinning blades as they arched and began their return path toward my outstretched hands.

The Spider Matriarch could no longer bite, but her furiously pained expression needed no translation. She would make me pay with the sharp tips of her eight menacing legs. She intended to make me suffer. My death would not be quick.

As if punctuating this point, she rampaged in place. Her legs pounded furiously at the silk, sending bits and strings flying in every direction. The frenetic movements seemed to enhance both her strength and her speed. The effects appeared to compound upon themselves as she continued to rage.

My chakrams returned and the drips of venom that clung to the blades burned the palms of my hands. That was the least of my worries. A simple spell of renewal was all it took to reverse the damage and purge the contamination. The now-dashing Matriarch, who no longer seemed to care about Gertrude usurping her throne, was more of an immediate concern.

You Inspect the Spider Matriarch.

Level 36 Arachnid Matron - Elite.

Disposition: Territorial, Vengeful, Chaotic.

Hit Points 1,942 / 2,500.

Warning! This mob has been affected by the following boon: Permanence.

Any damage inflicted by this mob may be permanent.

Quest Status: Optional, Active.

I briefly tested my wings before taking flight, applying Darkened Shroud as my feet left the ground. With as large as the Matriach was, the dark cloud would do little to help avoid the incoming attack. It would, however, improve my own strike damage. And I already knew I would need every bit of help I could get, no matter how insignificant that boost might seem.

The shroud was the right move. I fluttered toward the ceiling, obscured by the darkness and out of the Matriarch’s line of sight. She stopped short, slowly investigating the spot where I’d been standing when she’d started her approach.

This was my chance. Her eyes were exposed, glowing like embers in the dark. I gripped my blades and prepared to strike, but just before I could begin my attack, I was struck by one of her massive front limbs. I crashed to the ground with a thud, losing my breath and bruising several ribs in the process.

Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

The spider was on top of me before I could react. What came next was out of pure instinct and nothing else. I reached up with both of my hands and tried to hold her back. It was no use. She was too strong, and I was growing more and more exhausted by the second.

You cast Azande’s Grasp on the Spider Matriarch.

Your attacks have been strengthened by Darkened Shroud.

Vulnerability! Critical Hit! The Spider Matriarch takes 1,750 HP Fae damage.

Azande’s Grasp tightens.

Azande’s Grasp inflicts Breakage.

A sudden weight pressed down on me, pinning me to the grotto floor. The panic was overwhelming. It was hard to breathe, and I stared at the next prompt in disbelief.

New Achievement!

Off With Her Head…

You have decapitated a mob that is much stronger than you. An Elite mob, no less. That’s impressive.

Fun fact: Did you know that spiders don’t immediately die when you separate their heads from the rest of their bodies? Yeah, that’s kind of gross. The thing is, this dungeon already has an entity that enjoys removing heads from the bodies of her enemies. She’s been here longer, and she’s royalty. As a Sevenia Nymph, you’re kind of like a butterfly. Close enough. And you know how unstable monarchs can be sometimes. This is a different kind of monarch. She isn’t a butterfly. She’s much, much worse.

Bonus! The Red Queen now has the distinct impression that you’re vying for her throne. How fun is that?

The weight of the gigantic arachnid’s head continued to press down. Just as the system prompt described, even without her head, the Spider Matriarch did not die. Instead, her legs flailed and stabbed at the ground, narrowly missing me as I struggled to free myself from the gruesome burden. She still had almost two hundred HP remaining, and I didn’t have much fight left in me.

One of the thrashing legs dug into my own. The serrated barbs that lined her chitin cut deep, and my blood splattered on the ground. My hit points plunged, but before I could fully process what had happened, the weight of the Matriarch’s thrashing body lifted. Gertrude was there, towering above me within the magical darkness. She flicked the twitching head to the side, freeing me while she held her mother back. She looked worried.

“You have to stop her, Miss. Please get up,” she cried. “I can’t hold her like this for long.”

Gertrude was right. I still couldn’t breathe, but I had to act, and it had to be quick. Now that I was free, I only had one move that would finish the job. It had to be precise. I held my breath, took aim, and then activated the skill.

You use Wheel of the Wisps.

Your attacks have been strengthened by Darkened Shroud.

Critical Strike! The Spider Matriarch takes 191 HP + 19 Fae Damage.

Congratulations! You have killed the Spider Matriarch.

You gain 3,500 Experience Points.

Congratulations! You have obtained Level 4.

Warning: This level is only effective within the current dungeon. You must exit alive to retain any benefits gained.

Gertrude had stopped playing when she came to my defense. I realized now that her siblings had ceased their dancing. They all looked at the fallen corpse of their mother while I stared at the next prompt in disbelief.

New Achievement…

You’ve unlocked a new perk:

Veeeeeeerbosity…

The voice that delivered the system message sounded even stranger than it had before. It wasn’t quite human, but it was close. Going with the theme of the dungeon, it was more like an overly exaggerated caricature of the Mad Hatter. A very bored and disgruntled Mad Hatter.

Okay, you know that friend who just won’t shut up? They’re not all bad, but they keep talking and talking. Blah. Blah. Blah. They won’t quit. They can go on and on and on and on. And they generally do.

You know someone like that, don’t you?

Sure you do. Everyone knows someone like that.

It’s the same thing day in and day out. It’s like one long broken record. They say things like, “Hey, stop that. You can’t take over the world and create dungeons wherever you want. You have to stay trapped as a jukebox for… like… forever.”

(I hate you, Bob.)

Yeah. I suppose that’s a lot like watching you trying to fill those acorn-cap saucers with milk for the strange kitty cat. Was that… dancing? You stopped to dance. For a really, really long time. Are you serious? That’s not cute. You killed one of the spiders, and you even managed to get trapped by the Spider Mommy before finally killing her, too. I’m not going to lie. It was painful to watch. I thought you were done for, but still… you didn’t croak.

(Why didn’t you die?)

Congrats, I guess.

Reward: Since you’ve decided to waste so much of my time, your dungeon-level messages will now be more verbose. You and I are about to get a lot closer than either of us will enjoy. Just kidding. I’m going to have a lot of fun with this. With any luck, you won’t. This perk will apply to all future dungeons. If you survive. Probably.

I silently read the text as the voice spoke, rolling my eyes at the absurdity. That’s just what I needed: a System AI with the personality of the jukebox itself… or, was it actually the jukebox?

Was that even possible? Who was I kidding? Dungeon diving through a bathroom portal in a closed-up burger joint was impossible, impossible enough to prove that anything was possible. Especially when an evil jukebox was concerned.

My hit points were still dangerously low. I cast my renewal spell, but the healing was far less effective than it should have been. A quick look at my status bar confirmed the worst. Permanence. The brood mother had inflicted me with Permanence.

I let out an exhausted sigh. I was alive. Injured, but alive. This was something I could deal with. I just needed to find a place to rest.

Before I could move, a distant roar shook the grotto. It sounded like the mechanical squeal of a rusted engine being tortured back into service. A greasy film poured in through the silk webbing, filling the air with the pungent smell of exhaust that reminded me of the truck that had passed by while I stared at the Kosmos Burger sign.

Wow. That felt like a lifetime ago.

Congratulations! You’ve uncovered a Secondary quest:

Kill the Jabberwocky.

Terrible things have been set in motion. Truly terrible. This is all your fault, so you shouldn’t be surprised. You’re running out of time. What time? I’m glad you asked. My time. That’s right, I’m done with this charade. It’s time to get hopping.

The Red Queen and the Jabberwocky are on the move. You know how this goes. As the champion of the Red Queen herself, legend has it that the Jabberwocky is a creature with the head of a wolf and the body of… well… other stuff. Scary stuff. As if killing these spiders wasn’t tough enough, right?

Anyway, this thing is on the prowl. It grows hungrier and angrier by the minute, and right now it's pretty hangry. Bless its twisted, mechanical heart.

If you wander around without finding it, don’t worry! It will likely find you.

Reward: Are you insane? You’re only Level 3. (Okay, technically you’re Level 4. Yay for you. I don’t care!) This is a Level 6 song. Compared to you, the Jabberwocky is damn near invulnerable. But hey… go ahead and give it a try. It’s your funeral. If you do fight the beast and somehow manage to survive, I’ll give you something very, very special.

Yeah, no. There was no way in hell I was going to fight a Jabberwocky. Not after facing the Matriarch, not in this condition, and certainly not as long as I could help it.