Peter
As the guy fed the cat the treats, the song continued to play in the background and the sight of the cat wiggling to its beat while eating the treat was slightly disconcerting. Especially while the lyrics, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle… where playing in the background, and I couldn’t help but shudder at the image. Yet the guy seemed not to care as he took the opportunity to pet the cat and smile before Bob made his way over and introduced himself to the newcomer.
“Well, it seems that someone likes you. Now tell me, what brings you into my bar today.”
“Oh, hi there, not really sure. I just like walking around and looking for anyone selling fruits that I haven’t seen before. Though, I didn’t have high hopes of finding anything too out of the ordinary wandering around in DC.”
“Weird fruit?”
“Yeah, I am hoping that one day I can try every fruit that is safe to eat. Though again, I know it’s impossible as there are likely over 100,000 such fruits out there.”
“Interesting, well I can’t say that I have anything fresh on hand, but I do have a wine made from grumichama mirim, if you would like to try it.”
“Really, can’t say that I am familiar with that fruit off the top of my head. Care to give me a bit of a background on it.”
“Sure, it’s native to southeast Brazil and is often called the Brazil cherry. Its flavor can range between some varieties of cherries and plums and it is quite delicious when fresh. Though, it is hard to find it, as it is too delicate for reliable transportation when ripe and needs to be used within a few days of harvest. Thus, some make wine with it.”
“Cool, I would love to try some, but I’m not sure if I can afford what something like that would cost.”
“Not to worry, all you need to do is take this token and pick one of the songs with a one next to it over there.”
“You mean on the juice-box?”
“Did you really just call the jukebox a Juicebox?” I asked, almost letting out a loud laugh. “Bob, what are you doing? This guy is just a bean poll and-”
“He found the bar,” cut in Bob. “That is enough, as we can see from Dave’s ability.”
“Don’t remind me,” I retorted. “Any chance that you could get the cat to stop wiggling to this song? It’s creeping me out and I am already going to have problems getting the image out of my head.”
“I’m not sure what is going on,” cut in the newcomer. “But don’t be hating on a cat for showing that he’s happy.”
“What is going on is that if you take that token and use it, you will end up facing something out of your nightmares and never be the same again.”
“What Peter means to say,” stated Bob, before the newcomer could process anything. “Is that the song will transport you to another place and you will be tested there. If you succeed, rewards will come. Which includes a new job working for me and you will earn $10,000 cash for each level that the song you clear is. You said your goal is to try fruits from all over the world, well just think how many trips you could fund if you’re successful.”
“Well, I kind of feel like I’ve stumbled into something rather unusual here and I am not-”
Just then the song ended and Dave stepped out of the unisex bathroom, looking like he was beyond relaxed as he started to speak.
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“Man, that was the best three weeks ever! I love me some boner jams and this one was the best by far. I lost count of how many babes I got to bang, though there was a bit of me getting banged as well. Though I’ll take some sexual exploration to get to enjoy all the babes that I did this time.”
“What the hell?” asked the newcomer, sounding confused.
“Oh, we got a newbie,” stated Dave. “Don’t let Peter chase you off, sure the first dungeon can be a bit dicey, but it is so worth it if you make it through it. I mean, at least for me, as I know how to pick my songs and always get laid at least a dozen times during them and I am sure if you go in with a clear picture of what you want, things will work out.”
I could tell that the newcomer was confused as Dave continued to walk over with a smile and Bob pulled out the ledger where he kept track of everything. Once Dave signed it, he would either walk out with $50,000 in cash or receive it in his account without even needing to wait for it to clear. I wasn’t sure exactly how Bob got around the normal regulations, but he did, and I also knew that anyone who died in the dungeons were never looked into closely. They were just another missing person that would be added to the pile of them that were never found.
My thoughts were interrupted as Dave put his arm around the newcomer and started to speak more directly to him.
“Hi, I’m Dave and I am Diver. Now you might wonder what I mean by that. Well put simple, I come to this bar and dive into the adventure that the Jukebox offers. What’s your name?”
“I’m Steve and what does a juice-box have to do with adventure?”
“Juice-box? Not a thing. I mean, maybe it could quench your thirst, but that’s about it.”
“He means Jukebox,” corrected Paul. “Idiot, also Steve, you should just try Bob’s wine and then walk out that front door and never come back. Heck, I’ll even buy it for you and you can forget about ever stumbling in here as you head back to wherever you come from.”
“I don’t know adventure sounds great. I mean, getting to some of the fruits I’ve tried could be seen as a bit of one itself. Not to mention eating them, ever tried a Noni fruit?”
“I don’t even know what one would look like,” replied Paul. “But I am going to assume that you knew that you would live after trying it.”
“Yeah, but I have had a few that, if they aren’t prepped right, can could be poisonous,” retorted Steve.
“Look, do what you want, but Paul and I just want to make sure you know that at best, half of those who test their luck make it back.”
“Hey, there’s actually a perfect song for you in there right now!” exclaimed Dave. “Fruit Salad Yummy Yummy! By The Wiggles.”
“Wait, you mean that kid’s song that showed up after your last clear?” I asked, annoyance obvious in my tone. At least to anyone with a brain, sadly Dave didn’t have one of those and just smiled wider as he launched into talking about it.
“Yeah, he wants a fruit adventure, well I am sure that the jukebox would create something perfect for him.”
“Wait, what do you mean?” asked Steve.
“Simple, the Jukebox takes songs and turns them into dungeons,” explained Dave. “Yeah, you could find yourself in a life-or-death situation, but really, I think it is just about the mindset you enter it with. See, I went in my first one, hoping to gain the confidence I needed to talk with hotties and get some action. Now, well as I said, I got to bang at least 20 in my last song, if not more woman and explore all kinds of fantasies that I would never get to experience in reality.”
“You’re a real degenerate,” commented Bob. “But you have cleared five songs in five weeks now. Anyway, Steve, the choice is yours, but I’ll make you a deal. On top of the normal pay that I offer these guys, I’ll keep my eyes open for any exotic wines and other fruit products for you to order here.”
I could tell that Steve was about to agree, as Bob offered him the extra perk before he frowned and responded.
“But I don’t live in the area and I don’t know if I would want to do anything but ones that were related to fruit.”
“Haven’t you been listening to me?” retorted Dave, before I could stop him. “There is a song that is perfect for you, now take it. See just what you get for it and if you decide that you don’t want to do it again, go home and forget about this place.”
“But I could die?”
“You could get mugged and killed walking down alleys like the one you found this place in too, but you did so anyway,” countered Dave. “What’s life without a little risk, staying at home and still ending up on the streets? Really, no matter what we do, everything in life requires risking ourselves.”
“I suppose that’s true, alright I’m going to give it a go.”
“Alright, go place this in the jukebox,” stated Bob as he handed Steve a token.
“Right, the juice-box, darn it, I mean juice, no jukebox.”
I couldn’t help but worry as Steve place the token in the jukebox and entered the unisex bathroom as the sounds of the children’s song started to play.