As usual, the hallway was not tall enough for me to fly in, so I was forced to walk. The hallway curved to the left ahead, leaving me unable to see the end. I began jogging, only slowing enough to make the curve without falling. ‘Oh, fucking hell!’ in front of me was a creature that would have looked like the stereotypical fallen angel, if not for the deformed face split into a massive grin and the bazooka on its shoulder. I sped up. If I got close enough, maybe the creature would hesitate to use the bazooka.

I was so wrong, the creature fired the bazooka, and as I was in the process of throwing myself to the ground, it sailed past my shoulder. I could feel the heat of the rocket propulsion as it passed by me. An instant later I was on the floor, rolling to the side, when the impact against the wall sent a shock wave through the hall. I could not afford to look back at the impact. I immediately began firing at the creature. It took a second to realize that I was still using fire rounds. ‘Shit, switch to acid rounds.’ Immediately I continued firing acid rounds. While firing, I slowly got to my feet and began backing up. I needed to get back to the corner in case this creature pulled another bazooka out. I didn’t think I would get so lucky again.

I almost breathed a sigh of relief when a semi-automatic rifle appeared in the creature’s hands. I was quickly unable to do anything other than dodge, as the creature fired more rapidly than any of the previous ones had. I waited for the break while dodging. When it came, I turned and sprinted for the curve, only 20 or so feet away. I was hurtling around it when the first round impacted the wall beside me. Instead of the 30 second break there had been, it was now maybe ten seconds. ‘Fucking hell, this keeps getting better and better… not.’

I took a moment to catch my breath, the adrenaline from the bazooka wearing off. I went to the edge of the curve where I was still out of sight and listened. It seemed that the creature was keeping its position and waiting for me. It must have been fairly smart since it ceased firing, leaving me no opportunity to lean out, fire, and retreat in a guaranteed safe window. I looked at the ammo I still had and realized that the tracker rounds would be perfect for inflicting damage. With a thought, I switched to the tracker rounds and thought of the creature ahead. I fired one round and watched as it curved around the hallway and out of sight. A moment later, I heard its impact with the creature before it began firing, as if anticipating my appearance.

A grin crept onto my face and I fired the remaining tracker rounds, waiting a second between each to see if they would kill the creature. With only one shot remaining, the creature’s fire ceased, and I gave it a few seconds before slowly creeping around the curve. The creature was gone. I checked my XP log and saw that it had been called the last boss. ‘Last boss, really, no fucking imagination. This is one derppy dungeon.’ As I got closer, I could see three new rounds on the floor. They looked like a galaxy was contained in them. I picked one up and received a notification that they were core removal rounds required to remove the dungeon core. ‘Well, isn’t that convenient, insert heavy sarcasm, the last boss had the key to getting the dungeon core out.’ If I thought about it anymore, I would lose brain cells.

I grabbed the core removal rounds and continued down the hallway. In a minute, the hallway ended in a door. I opened the door to see the dungeon core sitting on a pedestal surrounded by a light blue dome. ‘Ugh, can this get any more annoying. This is so fucking cliché that it’s not even remotely amusing.’ I switched to the new core removal rounds, aimed at the dome at point blank range, and fired. The dome shattered, leaving the core ripe for the taking. ‘Great, now I’m thinking stupid cliché thoughts. I need to get out of here before I lose the rest of my health, or worse, my IQ. Stop it with the stupid references.’

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I grabbed the core before I could do anything stupid, like smashing the damn thing. When I picked it up, I saw seven doors appear around the room. I checked the door to the right of the one I entered and saw it led to a room I had previously been in. I opened each door in turn and found more rooms that I had previously fought in. ‘I must have been fighting in a large circle… Don’t smash the fucking core, no matter how much it pisses you off.’ With effort, I controlled myself and found the earliest room out of the ones shown. I entered it and began backtracking out of the dungeon.

I remembered that there were several shortcuts. I found the one that skipped two rooms, took it and checked my status. My health was down to 9%. I was cutting it too fucking close. I started running, taking the second shortcut that took me back to the very first room of the dungeon. I checked my status again, my health was at 5%.

“Fuck, run faster! If I die here, I will grind you to dust.”

I began cursing out the dungeon core in a twisted sort of cadence as I sprinted to the dungeon entrance. I compulsively checked my status over and over, watching as my health continued to drop. It was at 2% when I dove forward into the bathroom.

My stupid getup faded back into my street clothes, with my wounds healed, my messy hair the only indication I had been in the dungeon. Before I could start fixing my hair, I received my level up notification.

“The dungeon core has been retrieved. You are now level 9. All existing mental perks have increased. Congratulations, you have received the perfect clear perk. You may summon your wings and shotgun in any applicable dungeon.”

A stinging sensation swept across my back. I pulled up my shirt and looked over my shoulder at the mirror. I knew what I would see, but still hoped it would not be there. A new tattoo covered most of my back. ‘Great, a pair of angel wings. Who would have expected that.’ I sighed, already thinking of how I would explain the new tattoo. I would need to come up with a story, damn it. Ironically, if my first dungeon had not given me a tattoo when I cleared it, I never would have gotten one.

I straightened my shirt. I pulled out my hair tie and began undoing my braid as I exited the room and made my way back to the bar.

“Welcome back, here’s your usual.” Bob passed me a small container of hot sake and a cup.

“Thanks Bob. You’re the best.” I flashed him a smile before pouring myself a drink.

The fruity scent with spicy undertones filled my senses as I inhaled. The first sip of the creamy sake tantalized my taste buds with the light fruit flavor. This sake had hints of melon and lychee in it. It was slightly sweeter than I usually enjoyed, but it was perfect after that dungeon.

I slowly savored my sake for a few minutes. When I felt more relaxed, I looked at the sticker from the dungeon. A pair of simple white wings with the silhouette of a shotgun in front of them, surrounded by a crimson border. I snorted at the design and stood to go over to the jukebox. I slapped the sticker on the side of the jukebox with more force than necessary. I went back to the bar and took my seat again.

“Well, spill. What kind of dungeon was it?” I shot a glare at the nosey newb who had only cleared one dungeon.

“One that a five-year-old would have thought of.” My glare dared him to make another comment.

I sat there, savoring my sake. The regular noise of the bar resumed, as one of the regulars pulled the new guy away to explain. It was always disconcerting how little time passed here while I was in the dungeon. My little after dive routine of savoring a small carafe of hot sake helped me process, and only the new divers, or the ridiculously drunk ones, bugged me before I finished. As I finished the last of my sake, I switched to water to stay hydrated. I always found the best way to avoid a hangover was to stay well hydrated and not overindulge.

I was drawn into a conversation about the dungeon, where I happily vented my frustration at how utterly juvenile the dungeon core had been. How its naming sense was worse than a toddler and it had no continuity with its attempted backstory. I mean who goes from a renaissance era, to prehistoric, then to futuristic. It felt great to get that off my chest. When I was ready to leave, Bob was there. He handed me my pay with a nod, and I waved as I headed out the door. I would be back again next month.