Peter POV
The moment Steve was gone, I found myself unable to hold in my anger as I looked at Dave and started to shout at him over the sound of the children’s song.
“Why the hell do you have to be an absolute piece of garbage?”
“I’m sorry, but I don’t think that I’m a piece of garbage. After all, it’s you that feels the need to tell others how to live their lives. Perhaps, if you got laid once in a while, you wouldn’t feel the need to have a stick stuck up your ass. Though, if that’s your kink, then no judgment for me, which is more consideration than you can offer.”
“Right, I hope that one of these times you come back to announce that you’ve gotten an STD, or whatever they’re calling them nowadays, from one of the dungeons you get set into.”
“Not gonna happen, besides we both know that once we clear the dungeon, it heals any damage done to us while we’re in there. It’s only idiots who run away and escape who have to worry about the injuries they get in there.”
“Or the dead ones,” retorted Paul. “Peter, just drop it so that this piece of garbage can get out of here.”
“Who you calling a piece of garbage, you old man? You could go clear the worst of the songs currently in there by yourself right now, but you’re too much of a chicken. Instead, it falls upon guys like me to push to level up quicker and try to clear it before it levels up on its own again. So, if anyone was a piece of garbage here, it’s you Mr. Level 15 diver!”
“Dave, you have no idea what dungeons are like after level 10,” replied Paul, in a warning tone. “You go out of your way to make sure that no matter what dungeon you do, it involves getting to have sex with women. Something which I am sure you’ve never done in reality and if you have, I feel sorry for whatever woman took pity on you. Either way, you are a piece of garbage that will eventually fall victim to the jukebox like so many others before you.”
“I would be careful about what you assume there,” commented Bob. “The jukebox is chaotic and as such, Dave is as likely to become the next level 20 diver as you are to die from diving in a dungeon far beneath your level. Just as it is not impossible for someone who’s never dived into the dungeon before to clear a level 20 song on their first go.”
“Got it highly unlikely but not impossible,” I retorted. “Paul, I love how you tell me to drop it when you can’t even avoid doubling down on your own insult to him. Still, you’re right that the sooner we leave him alone, the sooner he’ll leave and we can go back to commiserating in silence, at least once this damnable song ends. I really hope that the newest idiot manages to clear this thing so that we never have to listen to it again.”
“I don’t know. It’s better than the one Dave just did,” quipped Paul. “Still, I wouldn’t mind listening to more children’s songs, or even Dave’s Bonner jams if it meant fewer people would die in the dungeon.”
“At least you can admit that. Now when are you going to start pulling your weight and take on-”
“Dave, I would be careful not to continue that statement,” stated Bob. “Each diver that keeps facing the jukebox will eventually face their personal demons, and that includes you.”
I was just about to respond as I noticed that the music had stopped as I turned and saw that Steve had made it out of his first dungeon and was holding an apple in his hand. I wasn’t alone, as Dave grinned like an idiot while he went to congratulate Steve on becoming a diver.
“That’s what I am talking about. It was fun, wasn’t it!”
“It was something,” replied Steve. “It honestly felt too easy at times, as I just had to make a fruit salad after identifying which fruits were safe and tasted good.”
A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.
“That is a level 1 dungeon,” I commented. “Though tell me, you said you are always looking for new fruits to try, so can you say that everyone would have been able to do it?”
“Yeah,” replied Steve. “They just would’ve failed the bonus quest that got me this apple for my next dungeon run.”
“There we go!” shouted Dave. “Hear that? The dungeon set him up. Let me guess, it will help you out in there.”
“Yeah, but I don’t know how.”
“Chaos,” commented Bob. “That is what you can expect from the dungeon, but I take it that means you want to open up a tab and become a regular here.”
“I don’t know,” replied Steve. “It is really tempting to say yes, but I feel like getting to try rare fruits like this is cheating or at least only experiencing half of what I am after, as I like seeing the places they grow as well.”
“Treat the dungeon you enter as the place each grows,” retorted Dave. “I mean, it will change each time and-”
“Will become more dangerous each time you enter,” I interrupted. “Stick to traveling the world and enjoying your life and forget about this place. Besides, nothing says that you will easily find more fruit in your next dungeon.”
“My reward was that I could get any fruit I wanted when I cleared a dungeon,” replied Steve. “I just picked an apple this time because I knew it would keep.”
“Bam! You really got hooked up,” agreed Dave. “Man, I wish it would let me bring a few of the babes that I bang back with me for some more fun later.”
“You’re absolutely disgusting,” retorted Paul. “Steve, think long and hard before you find yourself addicted to the dungeon, as I have seen what happens when someone gets used to having more power when they are in the dungeon. That apple might as well be meth in my mind and it won’t be long before you start to dive more than you should-”
Just then the door to the bar opened up and I wanted to groan as in walked in Twitch, or at least that is what I called him, as he could never sit still. He was also just level 3 despite having cleared five dungeons as he never took on anything but the weakest options. Considering that he obviously had a drug problem, that was impressive all things considered, but it was clear that he was back to get more cash for his next score as he pleaded with Bob.
“Hey, I need a payday. Can I please have a token this time, it’s been a week?”
“It has, which means I won’t ban you from picking a level 1 or 2 song again.”
“Awesome!”
“Just remember that I expect you to at least reach level 5 one of these days.”
“Yeah, yeah, sure thing. Now just give me the token.”
With that, Bob handed over the token and Twitch practically ran Steve and Dave over to reach the Jukebox. I noticed that Steve got a really worried look on his face at the situation as Handlebars started to play once more and Twitch entered the dungeon. This look wasn’t missed by Paul either, as he continued to work to dissuade Steve from coming back.
“Is that what you want to be like?”
“Come off it,” retorted Dave. “I’ve only ever seen that idiot be like that and he had a drug problem even before he wandered in here, from what I know. Besides, I need someone other than you two stiffs to hang out here with after diving.”
“I thought that you wanted to convince him to dive, not help us scare him off,” I retorted.
“I feel like this place is really toxic right now,” commented Steve. “I think I am going to just drink some wine and pet the cat while thinking things over for a bit.”
“Before you do so, I need to pay you,” commented Bob. “But, if you don’t want to worry about taxes being wrong, I am going to need some information from you.”
“Can’t I just take the cash this time?”
“Ha, right you want to take cash knowing that Twitch is going to be coming out right after you?” I asked, with a warning tone. “Really, I may want you to never come back, but you’re better off getting that cash deposited into your accounts. Don’t worry, Bob will make sure that is completely legit and will even handle your taxes for you if you ask nicely.”
“Alright…”
As Steve sat down, the damn cat came back to him as Steve started to pet it and I just shook my head as I returned to thinking about the situation around the bar once more. No matter how much I wanted to keep others from diving, I knew that if there weren’t divers, something bad would happen, even if I had no idea what it was. I just felt like it would have been better if death row inmates were the ones being sent in to face the dangers of the dungeons. Only then the government would really need to know what was happening and Bob wasn’t going to let that happen, and I knew better than to be the one who spilled the beans.